something_else

Get a group of friends who are reasonably similar to you who also enjoy going out every now and then and go along with them. And go out on your own sometimes too. The only limiting belief here is the one you have that such people don't exist

Interesting, I'm the opposite. I actually can struggle to hold conversation one on one a lot more It's really easy to playfully tease groups of girls for a start In my experience they're far more likely to put effort into the convo too since there's much less tension there than there is one on one. And they're far more likely to get emotionally invested in the convo since they're with friends who they'll be playing off too If you're a guy talking to a group of girls their attention is all on you by default, you don't need to fight for it. Unless they outright reject you, which can feel really shitty too I suppose What's a nice guy smile? I'd bet your smile is just creepy lol. Forced smiles have a tendency to look off for some people, me included. As an example, if I force myself to smile at a girl on the train it usually comes off as creepy. However recently I saw a girl get stuck in the door (internal so she was perfectly safe lol) and it was genuinely funny, so when I smiled at her it came across as genuine and not creepy. She burst out laughing because a genuine smile is contagious You can kinda work on it. Or you can try other things. I've been experimenting with subtle eyebrow raises and a smirk to break the stoic look if I lock eyes with a girl. It's worked really well during the day so far, though I tend not to do much talking/approaching during the day, just eye contact. I'm addicted to eye contact games on the train where I try and flirt with girls using just eye contact. It's really fucking good fun I haven't tried that in clubs though, I tend to rely on the dance floor where initial eye contact seems less important than other body language, so not sure I can offer any direct experience there

One thing Leo said that resonated with me was that perhaps high-grade military cameras are barely even able to detect these things. Which, really, makes sense. They would have technology beyond anything we could imagine, how can we expect to get high quality footage with a phone camera? That changed my perspective a bit on what kind of evidence would be required to convince me. And these aliens would be wise beyond anything we're capable of imagining. They would understand that revealing themselves to us would be unwise, for one we would likely respond with hostile attacks, it would create social chaos for us, and they would understand that it's important for species to develop themselves and not have their development interfered with. For an analogy, any attempts made to interfere with less developed countries by giving them money, technology, invading them etc. usually fail or end badly because these countries need to develop in their own way. It can't be forced or interfered with unless extremely carefully and precisely. So what reason would aliens have to just reveal themselves to us all? It doesn't benefit them, it doesn't benefit us

What would you consider real evidence? I'm neutral on the topic, I really don't know. But, I could absolutely entertain the idea of aliens having visited us, it doesn't seem too wild if you think about the kind of technology that might be available to them And, if you think about aliens as being more developed than humans not just technologically but socially, then what they would likely do if they had the power to visit any planet with life at will is observe quietly and stay out of the way as much as possible. What could they possibly gain from interference? They're already millions of years ahead of us in development, we would provide literally zero value to them so all that's left to do is observe us like we do zoo animals

Oh and yes, do this, but maybe not just because you want a wing. Do this because you want to socialise yourself and keep in mind that a wing would be a nice thing to have if you happen to come across one

Unless you are seriously struggling mentally, yes. Chances are you're making this thread because you know going out is the right thing to do but your mind is coming up with all sorts of excuses Some of the best nights I've had have started with me not wanting to go out, feeling very similar to you Problem is if you give in to a particular excuse i.e. 'I feel negative, so no one will want to be around me, so I should just stay in' you can be DAMN sure your mind is gonna generate that excuse harder and stronger next time to stop you from going out again. Now that it knows that's what works. What makes this so hard is that your mind is rationally right, if you feel bad, good chance you'll have a bad night. It just makes sense. But you might also have a great night once you get out there. Your mind doesn't like this risk though, it'd rather take the safe option, so it does everything in its power to make you go for that easy option If you've read The War of Art, this is like the 'Resistance' it talks about. That book is really good for realising that your mind can be your own worst enemy, and helping you overcome that

Nah, stay. It's a good way to express and release whatever you're going through just now, for me anyway Just don't get too dependant on it. If it doesn't work for a short period of time, so what. If it does, enjoy it For me it works 95%+ of the time anyway

Bitter about what?

Direct donations are probably better if possible, I'd imagine Patreon take a substantial cut I've bought the book list, but I haven't donated

@Rilles To be honest, I find it a good rain check for when I'm spending too much time on here If I get frustrated that it won't load, it reminds me that 90% of what I do in here isn't productive and that I shouldn't really care

Emotional turbulence. When I know what needs to be done, my mind flips between excitement + drive, and fear. When fearing, it'll generate a million excuses not to do said thing

Occasionally the forum won't load for me at all, it just times out. I'd say maybe once every few days

Is it not the case that 3 copyright strikes can get your channel suspended?

Clothes convey a lot more than looks. They convey your personal style, personality, confidence, social skills e.g. appropriate dress, how well you express yourself etc.

It sounds like you're heavily settled into a routine, I can see that getting boring. I know I need to change things up every now and then otherwise I get similar feelings. Maybe start trying some radically different and new things from what you've done up until now? That's a good way to build some excitement Bear in mind I'm only 21 and have far less life experience than you, so I could be talking out my ass

I was able to make numbers in that neighbourhood on a site called freelancer.com doing web scraping. It's been probably 4 years since I was in the online gig business, but from what I understand you can still make reasonable money, especially with skills like logo/graphic design and video editing. Any kind of technical skillset will be viable on these kinds of sites if you can build up a decent rating. I'm not sure what the best sites to use where you're from are, I think freelancer.com is quite UK focused but I'm not sure. Do your own research on which site is best for the skills you have and your location. The typical strategy is start with lowball prices until you get a few good ratings and a decent portfolio and then you can start to increase how much you charge. If you're not in desperate need of money and you have time to be patient and build up a good profile this strategy could work quite well for you Or if you're thinking bigger, you could probably get hired at a remote company or become an actual freelancer with that skillset if you're good enough and have a decent portfolio already.

Sorry, let me rephrase. What chain of logic have you used to conclude that the dating market works in the way that you suggested it does? I'm trying to understand your reasoning

What logic have you used to convince yourself that the market works in the way you believe it does?

How do you know that's how the market works? Maybe you're right, I'm just asking what your reasons in particular are for believing it works that way.

How's it a strawman? It's exactly what you said. You said that because that's how it was 30k years ago, that's how it is today. I gave you an example of how that logic is dumb Yes if you have looks and status then dating is easier. That's like saying because someone else was born a millionaire you shouldn't try to earn any money. But in the same way as the millionaire can lose all his money by being dumb and reckless, someone with looks and status can still seriously drive away girls by being unhygienic, disgusting or very poorly dressed. And you can improve your impression by being well dressed, stylish and hygienic. Some guys can literally go from a 4 to an 8 in the looks department with the right style and hygiene But style is also about conveying personality and expressing yourself which is a big part of attraction

By this logic if you want to attract women you should do it like a caveman, naked, smelly and fully unshaved and unshowered for your entire life. Best of luck to you with that

Oh, and this is your most important insight. Like @Leo Gura said you need to stop consuming this shit and now you know why

First of all congrats man!!! Now tell your mind to shut the fuck up. It's moving the goal posts. You set yourself the goal of going out. Against all the odds, feeling like complete shit, you pushed through that and went out anyway. And you had a great time. Your story is essentially identical to mine, I don't know if you read my thread or not. Like the similarity is uncanny. Now notice your mind is trying to play down this accomplishment?? Why? Who gives a shit if you drank alcohol, what you did was still extremely challenging for you to do in the first place but you pushed through. Now be consistent, go again next week. Your mind will generate the same BS and you will push through again. Alcohol or no alcohol. Should you try to reduce the alcohol consumption over time as you get more tolerant of the club environment? Yes. Is drinking at the start to match everyone else's energy, relax, and fit in a little better wrong? Not at all. And you should also try to make some clubbing friends too. But now you know you don't need them.

I really do wish you the best. PM me if you ever want to talk about anything

Notice that I'm pretty much just asking you to explain your feelings and opinions to me. I'm not respecting or disrespecting, I'm just asking Reread my last 4 messages again. All I have done is ask you "how do you know for sure that nothing in the entire world excites you" and you've found 4+ ways of dodging answering that specific question directly and now you're accusing me of trying to be a smartass with you I made an observation that you are assuming everything in the world is garbage, I'm sure that seems like total, complete, utter, reality in your mind and I have total compassion for whatever shit you've been through on your life that's caused you to feel that way. Life can be absolutely fucking brutal I'm just asking this question repeatedly to you in the hopes that it may open up your mind to the possibility that there could be something you have never seen or experienced in the world before for which you feel a deep passion, or even just mild excitement. Until you have deeply explored what the world has to offer, you can't know whether such a thing exists or not. And wouldn't you rather take a chance and find out? It's difficult to know whether to be compassionate or hard with someone, I might have been a bit on the hard side and I'm sorry for that. I hope you can grasp or at least be open the point I'm trying to make to you though