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Everything posted by something_else
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Read what I wrote, I didn't attack you. I just told you to stop talking like an incel. The incel mindset of 'looks are all that matter' is really toxic to anyone who wants to improve themselves with girls You told this dude that if he isn't physically attractive enough he should lower his standards to 1,2,3 out of 10 girls which is ridiculous
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Get out of here with your incel crap. Yea, looks matter, but they're not all that matters. Women care less about looks than men. This mindset of never being able to get a girl if you're not a top 20% dude is a cancer on your mind and it creates a deadly self-fulfilling prophecy I have several male friends who are not traditionally physically attractive yet they're 10x better with women than me purely out of personality and social skill
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I read this as "I'm confused by the stats but I don't want to give up my existing notions about bars and nightclubs" Tons of couples meet in bars and nightclubs. My parents met in a nightclub and married each other lol Anywhere you have large numbers of men and women mixing together are places where couples meet. Yea these places are heavy on the hookup side, but it's not like they're only for hookups. And things that start out casual can lead to relationships as well Yea, it's probably the confident and the good looking who thrive in that environment but it's clearly not just a tiny majority of elite men. It's at least 27.5% lol. The average dude has good enough social skills to go to a nightclub with friends and chat up girls. If he does that enough one of them will fall for him All the game talk here is usually for dudes who are socially fucked in some way or another and need some bootstrapping to fix that
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Well not me. If a girl had the expectation of me buying her flowers, spending tons of money on her, showering her with attention etc. just after I'd met her then I'd run away from that pretty damn quick I suppose it's personal taste, though. But to me it comes across as a red flag. I want my relationships to start out super chill with very little expectations, just enjoying each others company I did this kinda lovey stuff with my ex after we knew each other for like 6mths to a year
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I can speak for the experience I've had with girls in the 18-22 range which is that you should definitely not wait this long But the rules of online communication change drastically for people in that age range compared to what advice I hear given by older people
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Some 'normal' girls are into some crazy shit Most girls are probably kinkier than you under the right circumstances There's almost nothing that can beat exploring a girls sexuality with her, letting her dirtiest thoughts and fantasies loose You're not gonna get that from a hooker The best sexual experimentation comes from experimenting with the emotional highs of what you're doing rather than physical sensation. Example: "I'm enjoying this because of the polarity between us all night, the chase, the back and forth, the story, and the conclusion where I drag you back to my apartment, hold you by your hair and and rail you hard against my wall until you collapse in a puddle of your own wetness on my bed" Is way hotter than "I paid you so can you stand against my wall while I put my dick inside you and then leave when I cum" Even if you do the kinkiest acts you can imagine with a hooker, I can't imagine there's anywhere near the emotional charge that there is with a 'normal' girl Sorry for the graphic detail, was needed to make a point
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Healthy attractive men have so many options available that they wouldn't bother investing flowers, money and time into a girl when 5 other more attractive ones are available instantaneously that don't have such expectations The flowers and lovey stuff comes after the initial attraction and some dating when both parties feel like a commited relationship is beneficial It should not happen at the start and realistically very few healthy attractive men with options are gonna do that needy shit early on
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If this works for you then you are the exception not the rule. For 95%+ of girls, especially younger girls, chasing with money, showering with attention etc. just simply doesn't work. It's the nice guy strategy. Pretty much every guy has tried this and realised it doesn't typically work
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I relate to this a lot. I don't know how many times I've been through the cycle of chatting to girls online, have it go well, then suddenly get left on read. It doesn't feel good. I also relate to feeling down when I don't have at least one or two girls that I'm texting at a given time However the solution for me was to start putting myself in situations where I talk to girls in real life. Then I stopped caring as much when I got left on read with girls I met through Tinder online
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This advice sounds good but in practice as a guy it unfortunately doesn't get you very far. It tends to come across as super needy to the girl which repels her. Not all girls, but many. So it becomes a poor strategy for guys
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Lol, maybe for some guys but I can 100% confirm this does not apply to me Porn does not trick my brain into thinking I had sex, not even close really It feels like a bandaid that makes sexual urges go away for half a day or so. Compare that to good sex which can clear my mind for a good couple weeks @bloomer Ultimately the work required to suppress sexual urges while doing spiritual work is gonna be much greater than the effort it takes to learn to attract girls. For most guys, anyway. The advice of "just ignore it and keep working on yourself" is really silly. You'll probably get more spiritual growth by facing all the fears and demons you have surrounding yourself and girls than you will with 10yrs of meditation The hierarchy is not so rigid, but there is a truth to the idea of getting basic survival shit handled before you start on the really challenging stuff. No reason you can't do spiritual work while you're improving your ability to attract girls but don't completely ignore the latter
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I actually think this is a bad strategy. When I had more than one dating profile it became an awful time sink and I noticed it was not good for my mental health. I would say at max have two profiles that you actively manage and optimise That was a great comparison though! Tinder is probably to Bumble what Bumble is to OkCupid. Basically incredibly streamlined which can be good or bad. I'm probably a bit too young to use OkCupid anyway, I've heard that's usually targeted more at people in older age brackets? I'm 22 for reference
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Good trick, though I've stopped using Bumble now. Shame this doesn't work for Tinder web version How do you find it compared to Tinder out of curiosity?
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Yes. Anything they teach you at home you can find online for free. They thrive on their marketing as the best pickup company. If it was an in person course I could almost imagine that price being reasonable because you get practical and tailored advice
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If a program can afford to give a 50% off deal that's a good indicator that it's not worth the money
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Yea I'd say 27.5% is definitely a tiny majority
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Buying a hooker is a terrible solution, especially to lose your virginity. There is a middle ground between buying a hooker and true love, surely you must see that??? You want someone who finds you attractive and wants to fuck you instead of someone who is forced by contract The actual solution is learn to socialise, especially with girls. Maybe a hooker is a good solution for some but it is not sustainable and I suspect many who opt to lose their virginity to one regret it
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You can blow this out of the water by asking yourself if you would still have this mindset if you had an abundance of attractive women wanting to have sex with you. If that were the case, you would not have this position. You only hold this position because you believe or feel women are scarce and so you need coping mechanisms to deal with this fact It's a classic defence mechanism for guys who get rejected or don't get as much sex as they'd like, you see it over and over. I was full into this mindset when I was a nerdy school kid and I knew several others who did too. And now I know it's incredibly toxic. "Women aren't that great anyway", "I'm just not that sexual, I prioritise the important things in life", "All this socialising and partying is beneath me", "Sex isn't a big deal for me", "She wasn't that attractive anyway" – These are all lies you tell yourself to cope with the lack of sex and they are toxic to your existence and this kind of thinking is the basis for your position here. It assumes women are scarce This^ I can't think of a much worse thing for a man than being a lonely virgin until death This is nothing to do with uncontrolled cravings, this is to do with bad partner choice. Plenty of male celebrities do not have this problem and enjoy the life of abundant sex and partying that they lead, then transcend it at some point. Take Russel Brand for example. Follow the positive examples and not the negative ones It's much easier to control your desires if you've lived them out healthily already. Beating them though raw self-control is not very effective and leads to coping, defence mechanisms, repression and inceldom. In fact, the only way to truly exercise self-control in this matter is to have access to tons of sex and reject it. That is true self-control. If you can't even get laid, what are you exercising self-control over in the first place??
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Because bigger and stronger is better for survival because you can kill smaller things more easily Women evolved an attraction to strong and dominant men and being tall makes you visually appear far more dominant
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I can tolerate a Friday Saturday night at a club right now, sometimes I only manage a Saturday. As long as you have a day of recovery afterwards (usually Sunday) to reset your sleep pattern and rest then it's not that hard to manage and in my opinion the benefits outweigh the cost In your early twenties you can handle an occasional all-nighter here and there, I've worked after an all-nighter of drinking and it's not pleasant but it's not the end of the world I also don't really get hungover which is fucking amazing lol. I know it won't last but hey, use that to my advantage while I can May as well do this kinda shit that's super taxing on the body when you're young rather than waiting until later in life when your body can't handle it nearly as well If you can learn to go to a club sober and you have a schedule that allows you to reset your sleep schedule afterwards then there really isn't that much potential for damage to health. Your biggest risk is probably getting fucked up by a raging drunk maniac
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I would say as a rule anyone who presents to you an all-encompasing, 100% success rate, too good to be true kinda system like this is just outright full of shit. It has that "one simple trick" kinda vibe There is no simple trick and no shortcut. Anything that refers to a 'system' or a complete 'theory' you should follow is probably total horseshit. At least any time I've seen that kind of 'system' or 'theory' mindset from pickup people it's just sounded really dumb Even if he could get this to work, chances are you can't because you don't have whatever he had that made it work, and so you should focus on just doing your own thing, pushing your own boundaries, finding out what you can do and what you can get away with Then throw in some basic technical/theoretical advice on top from various different sources as well, places like this that discuss and compile a lot of attraction theory in a (mostly) pretty ethical way are good. But the focus should always be on the practical side and learning by experience instead of looking for handbooks and systems
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You're never gonna control it. It's about as hardwired into your biology as it's possible for something to be This is too simplistic. Most women are attracted to a subset of alpha traits to different degrees e.g. confidence, humour, leadership, masculine appearance and so on. Sure, if a girl is extremely superficial about these traits then that's probably not gonna go so well but pretty much every girl is attracted to at least some of these things, so you need to develop them instead of becoming celibate from women until you meet 'the one'. As a hypothetical, imagine a guy who has no excitement in his life, no leadership, is super serious, is anxious and barely leaves the house, never chases girls, how exactly is he going to meet a high value girl and when he does what value is he offering her at all? Why would she stick around when she will have so many other options? The solution is learning the social game, not avoiding it Better to build as many guys up with alpha traits as possible instead of trying to knock 99% of guys down into celibate, inexperienced dudes waiting for the one
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This dude on reddit is not a healthy role model, stop listening to him or consuming any content written by him
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I'd say the problem is you're not gonna learn what you really like in a long term relationship unless you have tons of experience with girls and it's hard to get that if you only have one to three serious long term relationships over the course of your life like would be traditional. You want a mix of flings, casual relationships and serious committed relationships over the course of your life so you can actually work out what you want from a relationship when you do decide to settle down a bit Another problem is that most attractive girls are gonna want guys who have some sexual experience, because they'll almost certainly have been with guys who know what they're doing before you. And if you're some virgin dude or someone who's only had sex a handful of times you're not gonna be a particularly appealing option
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They do say girls like bad boys