something_else

I'm sure there are some valid points here but capitalising every word makes my brain immediately not want to read any of this fyi I struggle to imagine how fapping twice a month can hurt your mental health, but hey, each to their own. Going from twice a month to zero is a much easier road than a lot of dudes who jerk off twice a day would have at least

I agree. I don't like calling it pickup, there are many bad connotations. Viewing it as learning to socialise, attract girls and develop your masculinity is a healthier frame. And of course a guy should absolutely have other things going on in their life besides trying to attract girls, and should not move to a city solely for picking up girls. We agree on that. My only remaining question to you then is: What is the alternative to something like pickup? Should the guys who can't attract girls just accept their fait and rot away in their own loneliness?

This is the dating section, what do you expect? The other sections don't talk about this kinda stuff, there's plenty of spirituality there What do you suggest guys do, repress and deny their sexual urges? Sit at home alone for the rest of their lives? Of course I have other things I want in life, I imagine almost every guy here does. But for many, lack of relationships and contact with girls is a huge problem that stops them from doing other things in their life

You're either a girl or you're a dude with a low sex drive Good luck doing anything productive as a guy if you don't have sex at least semi-regularly Having said that I agree that moving to a place solely for pickup is bad, you want to choose a place that has all round good qualities. Great nightlife, decent population, good prices, good people. But girls are always gonna be high on the priority list for guys

The metroplex includes the population around the city that the big city still serves. For example all the people who live 10 miles out of a city who want to go on a night out should also be included in population estimate for something like pickup since they'll all commute into the big city for it

Looking back I would actually increase my estimate to 50-60k girls in your age range, especially if your city has a university But even assuming 30k girls in your age range in an 800k city, the average dude would probably be willing to sleep with 20k of those I bet lol. And you can't even really formalise in your head how big of a number 20k is. 20k is 2.5 girls a day for every single day I've been alive. Even if you have high standards that would still work out as 1 girl for every day you've been alive if you're in your early twenties. If you're gonna do outrageous or awful day gaming then yea, you need a bigger city so you don't become known as a creep. Certainly if you stick to nightgame, 800k is plenty and if you can't get results with that by going out to clubs or bars then you should not be blaming the population of your city

800k population would be about, what, 30k girls in your age range maybe? Lol

About this I disagree. There is absolutely a relationship between these. Having social anxiety can make you extremely needy in relationships because you don't feel like you can meet new people if your current relationship ends

Oh I agree, most 100k towns would not be ideal but this town has a few things going for it like a medium sized university, as well as a much larger city very close by too. And a bit of a party culture I usually go out one or two nights a week in the 100k town since it's so easy and one night in the big 650k city The logistics of the small town are just great because you can live so close to everything. When I was looking at places there, first place I went for was an absolutely beautiful apartment for rent that literally shared a wall with a nightclub lol. Talk about perfect logistics

I feel like you should consider more than just the population of girls when choosing to move to a place Last thing you want is to have a shitty night out then have to drag yourself home to a dumpy studio apartment that you hate being in because that's all you can afford in a bigger city I live in a town with like 100k people, which is a 15min drive/train from a city with a pop of around 650k and that combined gives me plenty of girls in my age range I chose to stay in the 100k town instead of the 650k city because it's way cheaper and I was able to rent a lovely apartment which is about a 30 sec walk from all the main bars and clubs there which is basically perfect logistics Obv the larger city is better for hardcore numbers game pickup but consider other factors as well, you want to be happy where you stay

Dude ?

It evolved that way for a very good reason. You can bullshit with words but it's much harder to bullshit non-verbals and cues

Welcome to dating

That's good. If you can genuinely see positives in him and you are actually emotionally attracted to him and not staying with him because he checks boxes then I guess maybe you can make it work? But frankly this dude probably needs a girl with a lower sex drive and you need a dude who has a higher one If you're at the point where you're asking internet strangers if it's ok to cheat on your partner because he doesn't want to put in any effort to make you cum then something has gone very very wrong and it's both of your faults Then again I'm 22, wtf do I really know.

Why are you still with this dude out of curiosity? Like what traits does he have that you find attractive? Presumably there are some

Lol. If you don't break up with him I hope to god he breaks up with you

Maybe most girls have tried them out at some point, yea. But as you say many won't stay there that long which I would say suggests most don't really want to use them or get that much value out of them I don't think focusing on number of approaches is ideal. It will be different for everyone And it should be a balance between pickup type stuff and just being social. Go out, have fun, be social, but make sure you're pushing your comfort zone and talking to the girls you find attractive I mean if you want to talk numbers if you go out and talk to even 20 girls every weekend, which is not that hard, you're already at 1000 after a year Look at naturally sociable people, they'll end up just talking to that many new people on a night out without even trying. That's kinda what I'm aiming for

There are plenty of free resources as well. I agree with you that spending ridiculous amounts of money on this stuff is dumb, but you really don't need to I don't think anyone disagrees that there is a fuck ton of grifty PUA crap marketed at men out there but just because that exists doesn't mean it's impossible to improve your social skills and optimise how attractive you are

Fair enough for OkCupid, tinder is what I have used and in my country it's about 10x fewer women. I think the US is slightly more even, like 3-4 times fewer. Even 2x is a big enough disparity to cause problems though because it creates issues of supply and demand. Lots of men are fighting over few women, which causes the picky women to become even pickier, which causes extremely biased data Sort of, 25% of people meet online, 75% meet elsewhere. It's technically the most common but if you sum up all the other methods they still account for most relationships. In my country (the UK) it's something like 10% of people meet online. So using a dating app still makes you an outlier in most of the world Less so in the US, the US has a very high rate of online dating that isn't really representative of the rest of the world Most of the people using the app at a given time will be people who feel they get value from it though. Dating apps are a little bit weird because the people who 'succeed' tend to get relationships then leave. But the idea that your success on a dating app determines how long you stay holds true, and will create biased data

I swear if I see another graph from dating sites being used to make redpill/incel arguments... Dating apps are not statistically indicative of dating in the general population for a number of reasons. There are four main statistical issues with making conclusions about the general population from dating app data: 1. There are 10x more men than women, huge statistical problem 2. Wanting to use a dating app in the first place already makes you an outlier from the general population, especially if you're a woman. Most women don't want to use a dating app 3. Selection bias – the members of each gender who stay on a dating app and end up in these graphs are the ones who get value from dating apps which are again not people who represent the general population 4. The quality of a person's profile (which is used for dating app data) varies drastically between each user and someone who is attractive in real life can be rated unattractive because they have an awful profile (most guys have an awful profile) All of these factors mean that you are sampling low quality data from an incredibly biased and skewed population of males and females and then making conclusions about the real dating world from them

I know how you feel. I've felt like this a lot talking to girls through online dating etc. When you talk to girls online there are a million reasons why things break down. Often you just get left on read or the girl starts giving vague and dead responses. It could be for a million reasons, some of them your fault, some of them out of your control. You'll probably never know which Maybe you were too aggressive or maybe she met someone else online who she was more interested in. Maybe she was doing something IRL that left her distracted. Maybe she just feels like crap today. Could be anything The solution is likely just to move onto the next girl

Dude you missed the point. It's the same argument I was making which is that the content you are watching is not healthy to your well-being and you likely resonate with it for unhealthy reasons The mind is great at coming up with rational reasons for why we enjoy certain things when in reality the content just satisfies some impulsive and likely unhealthy itch we have inside somewhere I've had tons of these kinds of obsessions over the years and I still do. Everyone does this

There are two interpretations of this, one of them is not so favourable for your ego... However men use women for sex wayyyy more than the other way around

Lol wtf. Dude, teasing girls playfully is good fun but this is just plain insulting and being a total asshole

Redpill claims to have uncovered the true nature of women Any other healthy sources of dating advice for men, for example this forum, RSD, some healthier pickup type of guys, will give you a more holistic, truthful and less toxic view of women (and how to date/attract them) without all the crap that redpill also comes with