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There isn’t really a cheap trick to this, ultimately you just have to face up to it and do it. And then try to avoid being in that situation again It’s not easy man, been there. It makes you feel like a real asshole but it’s better than leading them on

I don’t think you should feel guilty about jerking off Its probably a good idea to minimise to porn a bit, just to exercise a bit of control. Maybe start with only watching porn every second day, and the rest of the time just use your imagination

It's his forum lol

People can sometimes interpret that as neediness, which can then drive them away. That is what I think people are trying to convey to you. But then when people tell you that, you claim that it's an attack on your character. It isn't an attack on your character, it's people suggesting that you could try something different which might help you get what you want out of life. This is a self-improvement forum, people are going to tell you to change your actions if you make posts here. It's the whole point. I don't think you should interpret that as an attack on your character You can't restrict yourself to only positive answers, sometimes advice doesn't feel good to hear. Especially on a male dominated forum, you're going to get very direct answers that aren't going to be sugar-coated

Aliens and UFOs are ultimately harmless things to discuss, and very thought provoking too I have no idea what the second thing you mentioned there is A lot of the pro-trump, right wing or anti-vax stuff is potentially much more harmful than talk about UFOs

I meant in terms of pissing and maintenance, I’d say that’s pretty clean cut

He censors anti-vax and pro-trump stuff. That's about the only stuff I've actually seen him censor As a counter to this: order can't be maintained if total free speech is allowed

I have a tendency to overreact when people disagree with me so sorry for that Making friends is hard as an introvert and I've by no means mastered it, so I wish you the best too All I'll say is that you shouldn't get too concerned that one friend has betrayed you like that. Everyone is gonna experience that at some point in life, I had a friend when I was a kid who went and turned all my other friends against me. Shit like that happens, try not to let it colour your experience of others too much. There are plenty of good people out there, just keep looking

I mean mechanically a penis has an advantage I suppose? But Freud was fucking crazy, and probably very misogynistic when coming up with this theory

This is all about one friendship?????? I thought you were talking about a consistent pattern of friendships of yours that all ended up in you being used. If this is all about one friendship then you're making a lot of generalisations from a single friendship You posted a thread asking for feedback and then you call the feedback criticising. Look, I just gave you my honest perspective on your situation. There is a chance that something you are doing here is causing your results. God knows I'm shit at making friends and it's almost entirely my fault It's not ruthless, it's just how friendships develop. You don't go from 0-100. You make friends by being around similar minded people and doing similar things, helping each other out in small ways, being convenient to each other, then over time you get closer and closer until it becomes something deeper. What part of that is gaslighting, wtf?

You say that like it's a good thing, but it isn't Friendship requires mutual investment, both of you need to be getting the same amount of value from the relationship or it collapses. Usually that mutual value starts out super small, just small talk and basic communication which improves each others' days. Then things escalate over time. But it sounds like you want to skip this social lubrication stage. But that creates a lot of tension and awkwardness that people don't like You're kind of like the person going about literally saying "Let's be best friends." It comes across too needy. Friendships have to develop naturally, you can't force them. You start out super chill, then maybe something deeper develops, maybe it doesn't This strikes me as quite toxic. Almost all friendships start out as friendships of convenience, then they develop from there. Yea obv if a person is taking complete advantage of you that's bad, but I severely doubt that's every single person you have had as some kind of acquaintance.

Part of me emphasises with them. A lot of the advice given to incels comes from people who are not anywhere near as physically unappealing as some incels are. If I were bottom 5% of physical appearance as a guy, I would get really fucking annoyed if people who were average looking were telling me to just get my shit together, and that it's all in my head A lot of incels are not anywhere near as bad looking as they make themselves out to be. They're just brainwashed. And for them, the typical advice still applies

Spirituality isn’t a substitute for friendship and connection with others Work on building up your social life a bit. A great first step is to fill up your weeknights with hobbies. I do chess and jiu jitsu for example Next good step is to go out partying at weekends and try to find others to go with

If I remember correctly, the slot it did best on by far was T vs F. The problem in this case was also that most of the users in the dataset were introverted intuitive because it's from an online forum, so it didn't have as many examples of extroverts to learn from. Whereas thinking vs feeling was split close to 50/50. And I'd say online the difference between thinking vs feeling is gonna be way more noticeable than introversion vs extroversion. It wasn't a perfect study by any stretch, not even close. But IMO the fact not a single statistics expert could come up with a model that did very well is still worth noting. The conclusion was basically there is only very little statistical difference between the online speech patterns of different INXX types How do you know? We taught AI to play chess and Go better than humans have learnt to play those games in thousands of years by literally just 'letting it go at it.' Took the AI 4 hours to be at a level better than any human has ever been. It doesn't need to know anything about cognitive functions, it simply needs to find patterns that all Judging users in the dataset exhibit, or all Introverted users in the dataset exhibit. Then it can identify the other Introverted users or the other Judging users who have similar patterns. This is textbook text classification problem, but it only works if there is actually a correlation between how a person writes online and their MBTI type I think bias is also an issue for you. Totally ignoring something like the Big 5 simply because you think it's too difficult/different to use is a very culty thing to do. It's extremely similar to MBTI except you have slightly different categories and it's on a percentage scale instead of there only being binary options for each slot. Personality is complex and different models are better for doing different things. If you want to make the most accurate predictions about people's actions that are rigorously verifiable by others, Big 5 is the best model we have However, it's purely statistically derived, so it lacks some of the deeper ideas and qualitative analysis that came from Jung, which cognitive functions let you make. I totally get that. They're also more fun to use and ponder. I get why you like the model. It's well designed in a lot of ways and it's 'deeper' than something like Big 5 which is harshly cold and logical MBTI also has a habit of being a bit culty, though. I was obsessed with it for years, then eventually I realised I was pulling half of the analysis I was making out of my ass, I was making very grand deductions from very little data, viewing almost everything about a person through the lense of their MBTI type and function stack. You look at posts like this on the MBTI subreddit and it's just so fucking cringe, abstract, and divorced from reality, yet I distinctly remember when I used to think and talk like this: https://www.reddit.com/r/mbti/comments/bemvod/8th_slot_ti_vs_7th_slot_ti/ Read that, and the comments. These people are just telling each other stories over and over until they all speak the same language and then pat each other on the back and call it an accurate analysis of personality. It's so culty

Because you have no ground truth. You don’t know if you’re correct You’re self judging yourself as being good at assigning people imaginary types that don’t actually exist concretely in reality, so there’s no way for you to know if you’re right or not

Because you have no ground truth. You don’t know if you’re correct You’re self judging yourself as being good at assigning people imaginary types that don’t actually exist concretely in reality, so there’s no way for you to know if you’re right or not

Machine learning is superior or near to human performance in the field of text classification. If it were possible for humans to do it, it would be possible for machines to do much better than chance Dude, you’re fucking steeped in MBTI to the point of not even being able to acknowledge it’s limitations. Like you’re not even willing to accept the idea that it isn’t the perfect model I’m not gonna argue with someone who isn’t even willing to entertain the idea that their model isn’t perfect I’m not saying MBTI is trash, I’m just saying it isn’t perfect

Funny you say that, I published a dataset of MBTI types and a decent amount of text content written by members identifying with that type No one managed to write an algorithm that was able to get better than like 10-15% accuracy on type prediction from their written text It wasn’t a perfect dataset by any means, it was skewed towards INXX types and it was also them writing about (for the most part) MBTI topics. But it still showed that predicting type from a persons language is shaky at best, and machines are pretty fucking good at this kind of language processing task now An entire community of machine learning experts couldn’t produce a model that did much better than chance! I won a monetary prize for creating that dataset though, so it definitely wasn’t total trash either This correlates with general findings that people tend to change type when tested a lot. A person will test differently depending on a lot of randomish factors that change over time. I went through phases of thinking I was about 6 different types depending on my mood, for example Now I don’t think MBTI is useless, but I also don’t think you can deduce nearly as much as you think you can about a person from their 4 digit type

I also see people listing their star signs everywhere, should I take that seriously because it got mass adoption and is extremely easy to share and identify with? MBTI has its uses but it is also extremely similar in concept to star signs in that it preys heavily on our desire to identify with something, as well as categorise and label things Your logic seems to be that just because something is popular and easy to use then it’s useful and valid, but that’s absolutely not the case. In fact you could probably make the argument of the opposite

Discovered is a strong word. ‘Invented’ is more correct. It’s not like these cognitive functions actually exist in the brain to be discovered, that would be absurd. Sounds like a word play issue but I argue that in this case it is important. And I’m pretty sure MBTI does have cognitive functions. IIRC each type has a cognitive function stack. I.e INTP is (Ti Ne Si Fe), INFP is (Fi Ne Si Te)

Honestly you have some very controversial opinions and often express them confidently as though they are fact. That’s not necessarily bad but you can’t then complain when people fight back against you @thisintegrated I was a mod in a few gaming communities and there was usually a decent amount of drama with mods, it’s unavoidable. However I actually really enjoyed being a mod and it felt like it developed my personality/maturity quite a lot I don’t think it’s necessarily bad to enjoy the power. It made me feel good, I enjoyed getting to make decisions about other people. Ultimately you want people in these positions who enjoy their job and the power it gives them, but not to take it too seriously in the sense that they become obsessed with following every rule to the letter and being power hungry bastards A good description I’ve heard of who you want as mods are people who are Neutral Good in the D&D system

This take seems kind of silly. A better analogy is that MBTI is Nokia, better than nothing but far better alternatives have arisen as we’ve advanced. You sound like the people who were saying smartphones were just a fad in 2008 while they clung onto their Nokia brick phones because it was what they were used to The Big 5 is honestly pretty usable. It’s simpler than MBTI. With MBTI you’ve got 16 types, 8 cognitive functions and 16 different ways to order those cognitive functions to learn. With Big 5 you just have 5 spectrums which are very clearly labelled and descriptive. When someone says neuroticism or extroversion you know what that means much more implicitly than say ‘introverted sensing’ or ‘judging vs perceiving’ which are totally meaningless without additional information People just like MBTI because it exploits our desire to identify, label, and categorise, but that doesn’t mean it’s the best system

It's funny, me and a fair few people I know have gone through a phase like this after discovering cognitive functions

Ah. Now we've found the source of the problem. Dude first off you must be fucking good looking if you got 40 dates from Tinder in 6 months, I did alright on Tinder and I'm decent looking and tall, but I probably got about half that. Though I closed on about 90% of the Tinder dates I've gone on, and almost all of them were on the first date But the problem is that most girls on Tinder are gonna want to fuck on the first date, or at least feel some sexual energy/desire from you. It's not exclusively a hookup app anymore but the crowd of girls it typically attracts are def gonna want you to be sexual pretty quick, if you're not they'll get bored or weirded out It also sounds like you've been consuming a lot of theory. I would recommend you stop that and just try to follow your instincts a bit more for the time being. When you go on dates with girls, let yourself feel horny for them while you're sitting across the table from them. Literally look into her eyes and let her face and body turn you on. This brings you into the moment , and she'll feel the sexual energy from you without you even having to say anything to her. This puts you in the right frame of mind for a date, where you wanna be communicating man and woman I would also recommend that you rely less on Tinder though. Like I said, I did alright too, but the quality of women there can sometimes be questionable. And I started to enjoy meeting girls in real life way way more. It also grows you a lot. I used Tinder as a crutch because I was kinda socially anxious which isn't great, even if you can actually get dates from Tinder

These are still cold approaches. I agree that it feels far more natural because they are in social environments but you're still approaching out of nowhere which makes it cold. Typically I agree with you that I think cold approaching in public during the day is nuisance behaviour unless you are really good at it You have to be good enough that your cold approaches out in public feel like a warm approach, you have to be able build trust very quickly and so on. Ironically this is not most of the people who start out doing pickup. I think if you are not a particularly social person and not very calibrated when you start out, then you should absolutely be starting at clubs/bars/parties because you get so much more leeway for mistakes there Or if you have balls of steel and live in a big place then by all means take the trial by fire approach and do spam approaches during the day, there's def value to it I don't know what you're trying to prove tbh, frankly if you have to say how great your game is compared to someone else and try to diminish their results then I'm going to assume you're insecure as fuck and trying to prove something.