Gianna

Why are guys so easy and desperate? I can't even hang out with a guy without him throwing himself all over me. I'm kind of disgusted by it. But I know I'm only disgusted with myself. Because I don't know how to say, "get the fuck off of me." What more do I have to do than pull away? Shouldn't that be enough? I shouldn't have to fight– like literally fight– for a guy to stop. I'm so upset. I need to learn how to be more assertive and definite in my boundaries. Even when I do though it's still not enough. This is why I'm so upset. I can't even date anymore. I need girl friends. I am so done with guys.

I'm glad to hear that someone feels the same way. You too! Much love ?

I walked away but it bothers me that I even have to because guys don't know how to control themselves. Walking away is easier for me than speaking. But I think doing it once builds up to doing it consistently. Next time, I am going to practice verbally defending myself instead of just walking away.

Well, everyone's actions are inherently selfish, no? I need to remember this. For whatever reason, I only have a problem with it when it comes to intimacy and relationships. In other sectors, I easily know and communicate my boundaries.

@Nahm Ah, I'm sorry. I'll let the magic happen is what I meant

@Nahm Love it. I'll wait for the magic to happen then. No thought bank necessary.

I would love to know what you think on this.

Love this!

I want to see the ways in which this applies to me because I am sure it does. I don't think I want attention. Attention can get annoying when you get it often enough. I tell myself (like I mentioned earlier in this thread) that I genuinely appreciate guys putting themselves out there– and I do. But it is not the same as wanting them to keep on trying. Maybe what it is, is that a ton of guys have shit-talked girls to me. Talking about how rude and inconsiderate and selfish they are. So I don't want to be that way. So maybe my selfish intent is wanting to be different by actually being kind to people?

Quick update for you guys, today I told someone I knew was interested in dating that I was not interested in dating. Here is what I said, let me know what you guys think!! "I think you are super awesome but I am absolutely not interested in dating. I just want to focus on myself and be alone. I hope you understand." This was my second version. My first had way too much context and over-explanation haha Maybe this isn't perfect but I think it's a great step up for me. He even responded and said thank you for letting me know early on. I feel good. I'm growing. Haha.

@Eph75 Wow, wow, wow. That was incredible!!! Thank you for taking the time to write that out. And that example is perfect. It really displays a directedness and a sense of respect. Much Love!!!

Okay. This is exactly what I was looking for. So much love to you <3

@Lucas-fgm Very interesting!

@Iksander Oh wow this is beautiful!!! Thank you for sharing! That does help me actually a lot!

Do guys respect savages? I feel like guys spend a lot of time complaining about girls being 'bitches'. But do they like/respect that!? Or do they like nice girls? Not that I need help getting guys or anything haha

Haha I was kind of kidding but I probably would say some shit like that. I need to practice being ruthless. One day, I am going to spend an entire night out just being a savage.

Here is my new strategy: "Do you mind if I friendzone you? I just think we would make such good friends!!!" "There are so many hot girls out there you can fuck. Let's just be friends." "Hey, let's just be friends I can be your wingwoman." (this one is transactional– like men.)

Me too!! Thanks for sharing.

What's wrong with you guys?! There's so much to be learned from women.. as friends. You'll get the inside scoop.

There really is. I need to remind myself of this every time I overthink someone's feeling, "eh, he'll be fine there's so many hot women out there for him" that really helps. Omg maybe that's what I'll say ?. "Oh no you don't want me, let's be friends. there's so many hot women out there you can fuck". This won't hurt they'll self esteem it'll actually empower them. This is my solution guys.

No, we are. Oh plot twist. I never realized this.

LOL!!! Yeah huh, what the hell!?! This is such a good read on men. hmm. yeah I guess so. I can see that.

Oh my gosh I feel so empowered.

Because the reasoning is where I think I get myself in trouble because I'm too fucking passive and pleasing. Maybe my new trick of the trade is to never add any reasoning to anything.

@Flowerfaeiry I am going to soon. I have to. Do you think reasoning is necessary? Or just the clean break?