fopylo

Ok, so I went for like an hour walk from the restaurant to the beach, and tried to practice approaching people and women until I got there. Then later tonight I tried approaching lightly. So here are the analysis and and insights: Warm ups are necessary. As I was starting to walk I've felt that there's no way I could compliment a woman now. Had to accept that things would get easier with progressive exposure. Momentum matters. The space between each approach can't be too long or else I feel like I'm losing state and this mood to interact with people. Personally, this momentum is quite short since I'm more of an introvert and in general have some anxiety when it has to do with talking to people in general. Ok so now to the actual approaches: Started off with some warm ups like making eye contact with guys mostly and giving a slight head nod, and later a slight "hey" with a smile. Then started asking basic question of "do you know how to get to X?" First approach - saw a woman laying on the beach reading her kindle. I turned to her and said "hey, this is a random question but I see you're reading a kindle and I was thinking of getting one as well. How much was it?" I was smiling and she seemed good about the interaction. As she's explaining it seemed like I was the one more in the mood to head off and she was more ok talking, but she just explained it and that's all. I told her thank you and have a good day. I felt like it was ok. Second "approach" - I basically wanted to go to the toilet, so I went to the nearby hotel to ask. There were 2 men at the reception on the right and 2 women on the left with a wide space between them. I could've gone to the men but decided to go ask the 2 hot Thai women where the toilet is. Tried making eye contact and it was alright. Not really an approach though. I was actually thinking of coming back just to say she/they have a nice smile, but didn't. As I was walking through some challenging terrain I gave like one sentences to the people passing me about like "challenging path isn't it?". Then when I was at the beach I was kinda scared just going to a hottie that's half naked and complimenting her. What can I say, it's more nerve racking people women are hotter at the beach. There was this Korean couple doing snorkeling and so I asked the guy what is there for him to see here because there's literally nothing here (kinda laughing with him), and then his girlfriend joined the conversation and then he offered me to try the goggles. As I was returning I saw 2 stunning Indian (I believe) hot women, and at that moment I had an insight: If it feels like too much to push myself then maybe I should go for something lighter. After all, it felt like a physically couldn't move myself to them, and it is probably ok to do something easier. When I came back from the beach I decided to go get a massage. At the end of the massage I realized the woman had a little Christmas tree painting on her cheek, and I mentioned it to her with a smile and said "good" with thumbs up. After some talking she asked me if I have WhatsApp and I was about to scan her WhatsApp code but then her other masseuse friends came for unrelated reasons so not good timing, and she started putting her phone away. I mean, she's probably twice my age and I'm not into her, but it was just kinda cool. Third approach - I was near a convenient store, and the 2 Thai cashiers/workers where wearing these cute headbands with Christmas decorations for the ears. I came up and said "hey, where did you get those? They are very cute". They smiled and seemed complimented, although not quite understanding that I asked a question. They told me where but obviously wasn't relevant. But here's the insight from this approach: Being energetic isn't necessary for approaching. This specific approach was done in a more relaxed and calm fashion. Wasn't showing high energy to meet them, just coming up and genuinely saying something. Made me question if I need to force myself to be in some high energy state when approaching someone, and whether a woman would also like a "low energy" approach. Later, as I went out to get something small to eat with someone we passed by a "special massage" place, and I was genuinely temped to go there and was really thinking I'd go there. One of the hardest things about Thailand is how easy it is to just find a massage place that will offer to give you a sexual service for like 40-60$, and some of them are quite hot. Eventually I didn't go, but it made me realize that I might be a little addicted, as I've gone already one time to one. I was thinking like, all these approaches but I could just get it easily here, in Thailand. I believe the reason why I didn't go there is purely because I went to a different environment. I just accepted later that I'll just jerk off later. So I went to the beach just to be with that guy I barely talked to from the hostel. He just wanted to sit quietly and drink. I came with him, but then I noticed like 60 meters away there was a party going on. I told him I'll just go to see what it is and come back. But here's where I realized that having someone with me makes it a little easier because then I can know I have somewhere to fall off to. But I really just wanted to go and see. Lots of drunk people just dancing in this tight space. Guys dancing with Thai girls as well. I saw there was a Thai chicken sitting on a beach chair beside some other guy (maybe European) and he put his hand on her back and she kinda didn't like it and shook him off and I was curious to see what the guy would do. He looked at her and maybe teased her or something and then they seemed good I believe. But yeah, anyway this has been the day. Not some crazy approaches. I don't want to fry my brain and I think I'll take those insights with me as I go. Maybe tomorrow I'll also do 3 approaches. But gosh, there is a difference between complimenting an old woman's shirt, and a hot woman's smile... Would like to hear what you guys think. I'm a newbie so please be easy on me 😅

@Zenterus Ok, I'm gonna go for a bit of a walk today. I'm gonna use what has been mentioned here regarding warm up approaches on the way - gotta get in state (woke up not too long ago and want to be in some flow). To be honest, it does scare me a bit to do it and I must warm up for saying such a line. I also don't want to push myself too hard but I do appreciate what you wrote. I'll have my lunch now and then head out and will update how it went.

@Inliytened1 Long term partner honestly seems great, but I'm currently traveling a bit and I know it isn't really sustainable. My goal now is to just try to have more experiences with women. After all I want to learn better what I like. I found I prefer darker skinned women (latina, brownish), a little short but not a dwarf, and cute (maybe I'm biased for being in Thailand now 😂). But I want to have somewhat of a sex life before, and even experience going out for dates

@Zen LaCroix I mean yes, it isn't a crazy number... If it is just simple approaches like asking for directions or complimenting her costume, shirt... But bro it does overwhelm me thinking of approaching 10, even 5 women at an outing trying to be playful with them. I'm just a newbie, be easy on me hahaha

@Leo Gura But your video was slightly confusing in the sense of the opening. You said there's the approach of coming up with they "Hey, I liked your vibe and wanted to come say hi" and then the opener of just saying whatever (observational assumption) like "you look like a waitress, are you?" Do I do both of them, only the first or the second? What is the most important here?

@Inliytened1 Yes of course and I think this is actually something important from the video. I want it to be congruent, to look at a girl and think "I would want to have sex with her", and not just "oh a woman, let's quickly approach". I would rather not sleep with a woman that I'll later tell myself that it was out of desperation and that I wasn't even that into her

@Leo Gura Bro this feels too much for me. I thought you said first to scan the girl and feel if you'd really sleep with her before approaching, and also I'm not that type of guy to joke in that manner. Yes I am for self deprecating humor, but not like that...

@Ulax Thank you. I'll try utilizing "warming up" before I go into a "set". Holy, just saying those words remind me I should start working out

@enzyme Yeah maybe I'll try something light. But really like when I came to sit in the circle ot was like Girl | friend | Me | Girl | Girl And the friend was talking to the girl and I was part listening to them part listening and slightly commenting on the two guys far in front of me and at some point I was already too scared to talk to these two women beside me. I just feel really nervous in group settings. It's like a combination of cold approach and warm approach because the group kinda warms up and dynamics seem to appear. If I am alone talking to girls it's different than when guys are around me - more scary and I tend to pretty much avoid female interaction and just focus on the guys. I might have been pushing myself a little for the last few days. Chatgpt suggested it as well because of the long fucked up sleeps and wake hours. And that my body is perhaps overstimulated. Even now I feel it a bit. I think I might be pushing myself a bit too much. This obviously doesn't feel super natural. People I don't know and I also made sure not to really drink. Maybe I'll go out with smaller groups. Clubs are nice when I feel like and when I know some people.

Ok so I decided it's time to be a bit more social. I attended some Christmas meeting at the beach at night through the nomadtable app (travelers create events and others join). So I met one of the guys before to have light supper and also to have at least one guy I know. We got to the beach and they were sitting in a large circle with about like 20 people. Problem was that they got some commotion going on because we kinda came late, but it seemed to affect me more than my friend. He right away started talking to the girl next to him which turned out to be kinda the center of attention. Crazy how a large group always splits afterwards into like 2-3 smaller groups and it's usually the girls are the ones to lead behavior. So like the guy that was more friendly with her became more of the center, and even if I tried speaking to some of the guys and it was ok, still I didn't get much attention like the guys that were closer to the girls. Everyone was kinda drunk and I made a decision not to drink, and so I only took a few sips if guys offered me a sip from a beer. Anyways, I left already. It was kinda hard and had no female interaction. The most I did is see a woman dancing with this glowing in the dark painting on her arm which is common here in Thailand, and I approached her while dancing (I knew she probably had a boyfriend and she was like in her 30's and just asked where she got it from. That's it. Lame. It was a bit tough and just cut away from the group. Don't even know these guys and couldn't care too much, but still

WORD. This is so true. That's also very cool hearing it from a woman.

What is not a construct... Look around you. Look. Sense. Feel. Appearance and sensation aren't constructs. Tall/short, hot/cold, loud/soft - constructs. A change in any of those appearances is a construct in itself. Direct experience = direct. Not a construct. Change = thought/construct.

@royce No. I will not speak up as in engaging with the hate and perpetuate ignorance like you wish to engage in. Ain't cool my guy, just doesn't feel good (like stomach wrenching from taking a shit). What I mean by hate is the feeling of intense or passionate dislike. Mentioned Leo to take a look and rethink if this thread (not topic) is even worth it. Have you become the chairman of authority to dictate what is right and what is wrong? Because you've subscribed deeply into some flashy beliefs about Israel, right/wrong, Freedom and Palestine.... Could you possibly be aware, just if you allow yourself to inspect, how this all leads to ABSOLUTELY NOTHINGS aside from a strong sense of injustice on your behalf - basically the emotions of revenge or anger? Refusing to acknowledge this just continues this loop cycle

Yeah let's keeping spreading the hate! Great job getting everybody engaged in the illusion and wrapped with biases @Leo Gura! Is this what you imagine heaven to be? Is this the good life? Is this called "Realizing God"?

@Leo Gura Yeah, relationships are about survival, but survival is also that brain of yours that is thinking and writing all of this stuff. Isn't it the perfect combination - Survival & Consciousness? Survival and consciousness... What comes first? Feels like the chicken and the egg... I might be really dumb

It's been a while... I have been contemplating a lot of stuff, and right here I'm gonna share some text (just sentences) that point to some stuff I've been thinking about. For each one it might hit different, and if you care to share your thoughts or even guidance, it would be appreciated. So here's the short convo I've been having with chatgpt: https://chatgpt.com/share/e288d5a1-f456-4b4b-bf62-2f80ea6d0609 Came back at me with some good stuff as you see (at least for "me")🙂

So I'm quite a socially anxious guy, and have had it for most of my life. Lately I've been working on it and trying to be more social, but I don't know why, every time I'm in this office room only with this one girl (or plus a friend of hers) it's always super awkward for me and I just want to disappear in this moment. Perhaps because of my anxiousness she tries deliberately to trigger me, but not in a bullying way, just teasing me as if I'm a child (like staring at me until I notice, try blocking my way, say 'shut up' or other mean things but in a playful way I guess). The humiliation is so disturbing that I become even more uneasy (more cold, unemotional, hiding) and I don't know what's the next thing I'll say and how I'll get myself out of the situation. It feels like a fight-or-flight for real. Today there was a moment that she showed me her hair clip, and I was so awkward, and she eventually put it on and I was like 'it isn't really seen though' (it was) and then she asked "it's beautiful, right?" and I was so anxious and I said in such a pussy tone "It is cool". I beat myself so bad for that. But I also still had to survive the rest of the day their. She chuckled and left. I had a feeling she would tell her friends about that. I don't think this is some kind of way of showing attraction, because I don't have status and confidence. Just a relatively good body, which I know doesn't mean shit to a woman. I'm not trying to hit on her. I'm just awkward and trying to play a role. Damn. I'd really love to hear your thoughts about this.

Yes. If you really watch his videos, beginning from the intro videos (at the Start Here page) and diving deep into the foundations you'll get so much useful theory. Theory isn't bad. You need a lot of theory to direct your actions. I think what you're saying is the problem of excusing yourself of action for intellectual theory, and falling into the trap of believing you're progressing. For that purpose I watch his foundational videos actively - not super fast pace, taking notes, reviewing them, and test them in my direct experience and connect the dots. There's still a lot to learn and grow. But you gotta start somewhere. But the main question I have is - why do you think that you need to debate? What's the drive? Are you here to try and prove other people wrong and show how they aren't doing the real shit, or are you here to have cool conversations with people, asking questions, sharing about yourself and maybe inspire people? I am not that well aware of the dramas happening here, but here and there I see your posts and you seem to have some great understandings that you share. After all, no one here really knows how the users behave irl outside this forum. But why the hell would you want to fight them??? LMAO 🤣 🤣 🤣

@mmKay What do you mean? How would you know what the video is gonna be? Are you working with Leo or something?

Ok, so I've actually been thinking for a while already to post about this topic. Do you know who the Kung Fu fam are? Apparently they are a family in London known for doing Kung Fu while integrating Dragon ball themes (they dress and behave like they're in that anime). They are literally acting as like their in a movie (an anime, for those who understand) and they seem to be living such a cool life. The father is like this Kung Fu master and his wife also does Kung Fu and they have this son which the father raises like a master and a student dynamic with lots of love. Here's a recent video the son uploaded, to get you a taste of what I'm talking about: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C607o1LolH4/?igsh=MTVqMWFpMGMwbnZmMQ== You can also view the Instagram of MJ, the modern Shaolin warrior @iammatjane. Ok, so basically where I was going with all this is that I get this bittersweet feeling every time I watch their family dynamic, like some kind of envy. They are so fricking cool, but I wish I could've also experienced this upringing, like wth?? This is what I'd define as an "in the movies" upbringing. Like I wish I had a dad like this. This dad has some virtue, focuses on growing, young in spirit, mentally strong, such a great person overall. A few years ago I flew with a friend of mine to London and we went to train with them. I still remember the feeling of seeing him first time in real life, exactly like on the social media. Yeah, but I really do wish I had this anime-like upbringing. Seriously, this is how raise a son with love and instill in him self esteem. Seems like a much better option than being raised by my super neurotic father. While comparing my father to him, I also wish at the same time to have the confidence to be a father like him. Not necessarily the same anime style, but just being a cool father who is wise, charismatic, and overall enjoys life to the fullest. Yes, if it isn't clear by now, he is definitely a role-model for me. One of the role models that give me inspiration. https://www.instagram.com/p/Ce5pqOmodXj/?igsh=MTZtcmdxc3N4MW9pZw== https://www.instagram.com/p/CXtBnZyI6ry/?igsh=MWJ5bXBpem13M2Z4dQ== https://www.instagram.com/reel/C1esGf2oeYo/?igsh=cjRudDVobnF1eHNr Father son Duo: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C2uv5qNIPbr/?igsh=MXhoYzA0aHN0OHMycw== But overall you should check out MJ's ig: https://www.instagram.com/iammattjane?igsh=MXg3c3p5bzY1d2ptcw== I'd like to hear your thoughts 🙂

@Leo Gura Thanks man

Wait wtf? How come before I saw that lots of my posts were deleted and now I see them back again? Hyeeeeewwwwww I'm glad they're back Never mind

@Schizophonia I got something for you:

@Nemra Totally agree. If you have the direct experience then you can be more flexible in the way you say those spiritual ideas + the whole idea is to be scientific about it (good epistemology) by taking in lots of sources and adding to it your direct experience. Going after 1 or 3 gurus that talk about woo woo does not make you more 'awake'. It's really about being in the "I don't know" zone and trying to REALLY understand in a scientific empirical way wtf is going on in this life. This also requires action. I am not implying to be of high understanding, but I have been humbled once (mental masturbation on Leo's more "advanced" topics and then got so frustrated that I left the forum for a while), and now I'm dedicating the time to study the foundation (in the Start Here category of the website).

I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE Everything got deleted😢 I had some posts I created that I was hoping to review in a later time period because I loved the way I described the insight. Fuck... But I guess there's a lesson to be learned: Nothing stays for ever, and also it can be seen as a new beginning. Maybe it can teach us not to get very attached to our posts?🤔