fopylo

@Osaid Makes sense, most of them are like that. But it still is a bit weird that they do meet with some friends of theirs and don't initiate with me. Don't think it has to do much

I would definitely love to see a talk between Leo and Michel

@Harlen Kelly Yes, because not everyone is super highly consciousness like some people here on this forum. If I was then I guess so, but I want to evolve to this stage by taking steps. I certainly don't want to excuse myself out of filling the love and belonging tier of Maslow's Pyramid

@intotheblack @Preety_India But like I said, they do value my presence at school. They don't put much effort, but a very few of them are good friends (let's just say better friends) and those are the ones who are cool with meeting but never initiate themselves.

@EmptyVase Absolutely agree on that. Nice. Though it can become a real pain in the ass (more like suffering) the longer I resist creating. Totally

Hi, I know I've talked a bit about my mindfulness experiences and great moments, but I have a story to share: So I was having trouble understanding how can you focus on the sensations of feelings without suppressing thought (and vies versa). I thought that focusing on feeling will cause the thoughts to disappear and hence lower the quality of the feeling and the experience, and then the feeling will disappear since there's no thought to fuel it. Ok, to the point. So I just came back from my mindfulness practice and tried to focus on 'feeling' (emotion) and to see why it doesn't work for me and that maybe I could gain a different perspective. And I've become aware that usually when I focus on my emotions, I subconsciously tend to monitor them - meaning I try to feel more sad/happy than I actually am in order to have a clear sense of what I'm going to feel in my body and practice being mindful. The problem is that I'm escaping from feeling an unknown feeling I'm experiencing (perhaps I fear I won't get a result because I can't feel nothing in particular? Or maybe I don't know how to feel what is?). Thankfully I became aware of it, and now I am left with contemplating what does it really mean to feel an emotion. So a big insight I had: Thought and feeling don't suppress each other (they can co-exist in a harmonic way), but rather it is the resistance to feeling which leads to an escape to thought (and vies versa). This also creates the illusion that only one of them can exist in peace, when in fact it is letting them be as they are and embracing them as a whole now which brings peace. I've realized that feeling emotions is more like being with them. It means giving them space to be in my experience, with my awareness. Thought will likely come, and it might even interfere and shake me a bit. I just need to give the thought the space to be part of this experience and it does not interfere, just there. When I rode back home I've stumbled across two people I know and said hello and felt quite happy. I let the happy be without trying to focus too much on monitoring, ironically amplifying it. It got me to realize that many people who are less conscious may be letting feelings be more often than me, but I feel like this practice helped me know I'm feeling. This is all good, but obviously I still have difficulty managing it. I still don't know what to do when I feel nothing (or don't know what I'm feeling), still a bit not easy to let feeling and thought co-exist without trying to exclude one, thinking 'I am trying to practice mindfulness and therefore I need to restrict my attention to one of them'. In general it is hard for me to convey my true emotions while in conversation, and I believe it to be because it is hard for me to connect with them. Hopefully this practice will help me be able to deliver my true feelings and opinions in conversation with more ease and inner peace. I would sincerely appreciate your thoughts on this ? I would like to thank @Nahm and @EmptyVase for giving me bits of wisdom to get me contemplating those things on my own ?❤?

@EmptyVase No dude, exactly the opposite is what I said. You might have never found it necessary to read books about music production because maybe you don't have that much resistance towards it. If it is not such a big deal for you to open your DAW and play around then I get you. The book I am reading has nothing to do with how to mix and all that (this is just icing on the cake), but rather about mindsets and the getting-into-it stage and doing it smoothly. What I need is not more knowledge as it is a distraction. First habit, then knowledge (there's no habit though lol). Btw I know music theory as I play the piano and study music in school. Waiting to hear

This is not true. I still believe in being with the emotions and thoughts and not to manage them. Interesting... I am actually disturbed by the fact that I'm trying to scan myself and find nothing, or very small things. I guess this state of boredom isn't something I've experienced that much since I'm used to live in fear and insecurity (which I still do a bit btw). I'm letting it be but there is still a slight bit of fear holding me so it's confusing.

@EmptyVase Yeah but let's say I feel anxious about some event, then the content of the thought isn't true, so there's a dissonance between knowing that is is false and being honest. Being honest about something you feel and knowing it is not true is not such a nice state to be in. While false sounds objective, it actually carries some emotional charge of "wrong", "not good" and the dissonance occurs because it's like opening yourself up (the honesty part) to the pain (your thoughts/feelings which you know are false and carry a negative emotional charge) This year my level of vulnerability shot up. Most of it had to do with asking for help and talking about myself in self help forums, such as this, and over time I got used to it and understood that the only way I can get the best help is if I'm the most vulnerable and open. (talking about something different than open while knowing it is false). Dude, for real? My dream is to start making music. You know, basically most of the help I'm seeking is to get to a stage where I can do this smoothly. All this procrastination and fear have been enough already, I have big ambitions! That's why I've been practicing mindfulness (slightly helped), and I've took a break from the book Music Habit: The Mental Game Of Electronic Music Production because I felt that I need to follow it deeper and do some work so that I'll understand better. Have you read it? Also, what kind of music do you create? Do you have a YouTube channel? Man that hit hard... Like 70% of the time I'm asking for help/ wanting to improve myself, I'm trying deliberately to dig in my psyche to find something that bothers me which I can improve, when right now I am good, or maybe just a slight thing and I try to dig into it very deep. And then it's annoying when nothing is bothering me (like lately). Fuck I'm not used to it and I feel very bored yet I want to accomplish things in life. Perhaps I have a slight fear that is still holding me back in a very subtle way

When you stop running away from what you're feeling in the moment, what you're seeing in front of you, stop running away from your thoughts, stop running away from situations and suffering - It all seems to lead to the best life. It is also a quick insight which suggests that if you believe that mindfulness is about seeing what things are for the purpose of dissolving them and seeing beyond them (like me) then I think you got it wrong. It is to have them exactly like you are. If you feel angry then good, let the experience occur and be honest yourself with what you notice without trying to monitor anything. Just invite it into your experience. Same with emotions and everything. Basically, I think I'm talking about 'acceptance' (am I? If yes then I might be understanding it better). Anyways, just a nice insight I got after seeing the video Grasping The Illusory Nature Of Thought

@dflores321 No I mean like, how can you directly transcend sexuality?

@dflores321 So then there's nothing unique about transcending some specific aspect. When you transcend, being feels better and so you transcend everything basically. So it is futile

@dflores321 What does it mean to transcend something? And by the way, I do both but mostly try and redirect the energy. After around day 100 (for me) the shift happens and doesn't change that much, but still sometimes repress lightly, because honestly, I prefer the latter

@Harlen Kelly Many guys had success with women because of nofap Don't talk down like that. It certainly did help my growth, and not everything needs to raise your consciousness to evolve you. It can simply be a stepping stone

@dflores321 Exactly! Being God conscious is an ideal that will take years to reach, but for the meantime the least I can do is at least this - save and redirect my sexual energy towards Being, relationships, workout and more. Day 205 baby ? Alright mate, so this is the plan: Raising your sexual energy from no fap - directing this energy and using it towards relationships which will eventually lead to sex (it also helps with reducing anxiety and building confidence) - then direct it to more deeper sex which is almost spiritual - and then I'm sort of "free" and not so affected by the outcome of jerking off by myself. Is this right?

@Harlen Kelly Notice how you use "repression". When you started meditation didn't you "repress" your thoughts/feelings/desires/"negative" emotions? You need some kind of restrict for starting to get going, especially if you're not God conscious or some shit. Dude you could literally say the same thing about eating healthy (probably an even better example) because you "restrict" yourself from shoving junk food into your system. But you might say "but I don't feel like eating junk food. If I feel like it then I won't suppress it". Well then, I don't feel like masturbating. Actually I do have a desire for sex, but sex, not simply masturbation. Anyways, if it is neurotic then why should I repress the neurosis itself? It will just go spiral of neurosis

@dflores321 @Harlen Kelly No so here's the thing, you guys are just assuming things. Yeah, many people start doing nofap as a neurotic behavior, but with time it becomes less neurotic, in the sense that you won't feel the need to repress it all the time for the benefits, but rather you'd choose to not fap because it just feels so good not to waste that energy. Every day I feel energetic, clear minded, enjoy the little things, view people differently, help me connect with my inner self and my truest desires which were hidden by the sexual thoughts. I really like living like that. Personally I don't believe that liking a tit post and seeing hot women is a no no, but more like watching porn. Yes, because it affects the brain and really slows my growth down. Yeah alright you can say that it is neurotic because I'm using "restricts" on myself and that the true way is just getting those results from a non neurotic way. But still, you want to accelerate your growth, no? Do you realize that I can say the same thing on meditation? Then why the fuck do you meditate? You know the benefits, and so you have your routine... And you know that it will shoot your growth so you do it. Honestly try to see what I'm saying and look into how they are not so different. Telling someone to nofap and telling someone meditate come from the idea that it will grow you a lot and so you begin by getting really into them until you love them and then it's just natural and fun

@Leo Gura What do you have to lose by trying nofap and no porn? I bet that if you try it you'll see that it's really beneficial. You don't need to buy into the scientific studies but I and many others have tried it and it certainly does improve life quality. Dude this can seriously help you with your work as well. Try doing the emotionally harder thing. The is a reason why you do give a fuck about some aspects in your life like health and business and you could also disregard those "scientific" evidence.

@Nahm Is it possible for me to feel empowerment, freedom, enthusiasm but also some anxiety at the same time? I mean, it is happening but I don't see how it reconciles with the emotional scale. It's confusing when you regard several emotions in play

@Leo Gura If you know any human in the world that can do such things then it makes more sense what you're saying. I'm so far from these levels but still, if there is no one to be known of having achieved this the what you're saying is your own personal speculation since you don't know for sure. And maybe you might be the first one to discover. But surely there are people who are like 10 fold more conscious than you are (who started very early and took it extremely serious)

@Leo Gura Dude this is very hard, especially when most of the spiritual culture talks about disregarding desires and saying that it's the ego and that this and the mind are your enemies. You cannot not hear people saying that those lower desires are bad (mostly in an indirect way). It's enough that you say that something is bullshit or stupid that newbies (like myself) will easily create a shadow of it, which just makes their work even harder. I can tell you for certain that a lot of my work has gone just to deconstruct those notions about spirituality so that I can start pursuing real spirituality

Isn't it true? ? No but for real, is the ultimate goal to eventually detach from everything? Because that way it makes more sense to me that you can become the most liberated person on earth. If this post seems inappropriate then delete ? But still asking

@BipolarGrowth You know, I used to feel like that a few months ago when learning about all this spiritual stuff. I used to think that if I have way more understanding than 99.99% of the people, then it's as though I've "lost" the journey for discovering those things on my own at a slower pace. I had notions that it's like forcing myself to become "old" and skip on life and just reach to the end. After looking into it deeper and "upping" my awareness levels I see that this is EXACTLY what I need to pursue, and that there is no "too early" or "rushing it". Rather than skipping on life it feels more like going deeper in life. It feels more like slowing the time rather than accelerating it. And above all I can experience vastly what's happening in the moment. I also used to think that enlightenment and spiritual work meant that at one point all the feelings I'll feel are joy, bliss and calmness, which sounded ok, but not really rich so there was some cognitive dissonance. I tried suppressing "negative" emotions. But in general I feel like everyone goes through similar phases of understanding spirituality in more depth. In my current state my understanding is that spirituality means the pursuit of real freedom. Freedom from attachment, freedom to feel all emotions (even the "negative"), freedom to think without suppressing. But also freedom to move between my lower and higher self, consciousness and unconsciousness.

@EmptyVase Amazing insight. Now that I think about it I'm actually always expressing something, but in most cases very very mild feelings. When I'm trying to be aware of them, however, it can become a bit neurotic and I build lies on top of lies that will do a great job in blocking my way from experiencing what is actual. Yeah exactly. That's what I meant that was very hard, because I know at the back of my mind that my honest thoughts and feelings aren't true and so as a natural response I suppress them (or disregard them, however you'd call it). As an analogy, you could think about it like an artist who doesn't produce his music because of his maladaptive perfectionism (fear of failing) and he believes that he doesn't have the talent, thus pushes it aside. Maybe not the best analogy but I hope you get it. I still judge my emotions and believes. How could you possibly fucking not? You always hear about hierarchies of emotions from society (obviously), spirituality (a lot) and self help, in subtle ways. There's a very wrong approach towards emotions imbedded in most people which just makes us neurotic and judgmental like myself. I won't always be next to a journal. Also a habit will need to be built for practicing expressive journaling. There's a pre-phase that I feel quite neurotic even starting doing it, because will probably be quite judgmental.

Play from around 5:37 It's just so funny how he is talking about that religion acts out of fear and stick to its ideology, while he is doing exactly the same! And feels the pride!