fopylo

So I'm quite a socially anxious guy, and have had it for most of my life. Lately I've been working on it and trying to be more social, but I don't know why, every time I'm in this office room only with this one girl (or plus a friend of hers) it's always super awkward for me and I just want to disappear in this moment. Perhaps because of my anxiousness she tries deliberately to trigger me, but not in a bullying way, just teasing me as if I'm a child (like staring at me until I notice, try blocking my way, say 'shut up' or other mean things but in a playful way I guess). The humiliation is so disturbing that I become even more uneasy (more cold, unemotional, hiding) and I don't know what's the next thing I'll say and how I'll get myself out of the situation. It feels like a fight-or-flight for real. Today there was a moment that she showed me her hair clip, and I was so awkward, and she eventually put it on and I was like 'it isn't really seen though' (it was) and then she asked "it's beautiful, right?" and I was so anxious and I said in such a pussy tone "It is cool". I beat myself so bad for that. But I also still had to survive the rest of the day their. She chuckled and left. I had a feeling she would tell her friends about that. I don't think this is some kind of way of showing attraction, because I don't have status and confidence. Just a relatively good body, which I know doesn't mean shit to a woman. I'm not trying to hit on her. I'm just awkward and trying to play a role. Damn. I'd really love to hear your thoughts about this.

Yes. If you really watch his videos, beginning from the intro videos (at the Start Here page) and diving deep into the foundations you'll get so much useful theory. Theory isn't bad. You need a lot of theory to direct your actions. I think what you're saying is the problem of excusing yourself of action for intellectual theory, and falling into the trap of believing you're progressing. For that purpose I watch his foundational videos actively - not super fast pace, taking notes, reviewing them, and test them in my direct experience and connect the dots. There's still a lot to learn and grow. But you gotta start somewhere. But the main question I have is - why do you think that you need to debate? What's the drive? Are you here to try and prove other people wrong and show how they aren't doing the real shit, or are you here to have cool conversations with people, asking questions, sharing about yourself and maybe inspire people? I am not that well aware of the dramas happening here, but here and there I see your posts and you seem to have some great understandings that you share. After all, no one here really knows how the users behave irl outside this forum. But why the hell would you want to fight them??? LMAO 🤣 🤣 🤣

@mmKay What do you mean? How would you know what the video is gonna be? Are you working with Leo or something?

Ok, so I've actually been thinking for a while already to post about this topic. Do you know who the Kung Fu fam are? Apparently they are a family in London known for doing Kung Fu while integrating Dragon ball themes (they dress and behave like they're in that anime). They are literally acting as like their in a movie (an anime, for those who understand) and they seem to be living such a cool life. The father is like this Kung Fu master and his wife also does Kung Fu and they have this son which the father raises like a master and a student dynamic with lots of love. Here's a recent video the son uploaded, to get you a taste of what I'm talking about: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C607o1LolH4/?igsh=MTVqMWFpMGMwbnZmMQ== You can also view the Instagram of MJ, the modern Shaolin warrior @iammatjane. Ok, so basically where I was going with all this is that I get this bittersweet feeling every time I watch their family dynamic, like some kind of envy. They are so fricking cool, but I wish I could've also experienced this upringing, like wth?? This is what I'd define as an "in the movies" upbringing. Like I wish I had a dad like this. This dad has some virtue, focuses on growing, young in spirit, mentally strong, such a great person overall. A few years ago I flew with a friend of mine to London and we went to train with them. I still remember the feeling of seeing him first time in real life, exactly like on the social media. Yeah, but I really do wish I had this anime-like upbringing. Seriously, this is how raise a son with love and instill in him self esteem. Seems like a much better option than being raised by my super neurotic father. While comparing my father to him, I also wish at the same time to have the confidence to be a father like him. Not necessarily the same anime style, but just being a cool father who is wise, charismatic, and overall enjoys life to the fullest. Yes, if it isn't clear by now, he is definitely a role-model for me. One of the role models that give me inspiration. https://www.instagram.com/p/Ce5pqOmodXj/?igsh=MTZtcmdxc3N4MW9pZw== https://www.instagram.com/p/CXtBnZyI6ry/?igsh=MWJ5bXBpem13M2Z4dQ== https://www.instagram.com/reel/C1esGf2oeYo/?igsh=cjRudDVobnF1eHNr Father son Duo: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C2uv5qNIPbr/?igsh=MXhoYzA0aHN0OHMycw== But overall you should check out MJ's ig: https://www.instagram.com/iammattjane?igsh=MXg3c3p5bzY1d2ptcw== I'd like to hear your thoughts 🙂

@Leo Gura Thanks man

Wait wtf? How come before I saw that lots of my posts were deleted and now I see them back again? Hyeeeeewwwwww I'm glad they're back Never mind

@Schizophonia I got something for you:

@Nemra Totally agree. If you have the direct experience then you can be more flexible in the way you say those spiritual ideas + the whole idea is to be scientific about it (good epistemology) by taking in lots of sources and adding to it your direct experience. Going after 1 or 3 gurus that talk about woo woo does not make you more 'awake'. It's really about being in the "I don't know" zone and trying to REALLY understand in a scientific empirical way wtf is going on in this life. This also requires action. I am not implying to be of high understanding, but I have been humbled once (mental masturbation on Leo's more "advanced" topics and then got so frustrated that I left the forum for a while), and now I'm dedicating the time to study the foundation (in the Start Here category of the website).

I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE Everything got deleted😢 I had some posts I created that I was hoping to review in a later time period because I loved the way I described the insight. Fuck... But I guess there's a lesson to be learned: Nothing stays for ever, and also it can be seen as a new beginning. Maybe it can teach us not to get very attached to our posts?🤔

I watched Leo's introduction videos for self-actualization, which I think are underrated. I found them very valuable and super foundational before any of the more advanced topics. I am now really trying to approach self actualization with a scientific mind and really see for myself and understand empirically/experientially how all the dots connect and as a result to refine my big-picture understanding --- knowledge vs. wisdom. Here is a word document I compiled of the 4 intro videos: (probably at the bottom of the post) So I understood the value of vision - the thing that moves you into actualizing your life. So the journaling part about being aware of your current life and where you're headed, what do you want, obstacles, fears, availability - bringing more awareness about your life thus creating more 'room' to think differently and play with your thoughts to align better with feeling great, and here you have it - the vision. I did some of that journaling a few days ago, and now I continued it, but I've noticed that I don't have much motivation. Like eh... just did some journaling, but I'm not in the state of mind now to start thinking big and being all ambitious about life, which makes me believe you really don't need to be like that 24/7. It also made me believe that perhaps it's just a matter of time of observing my experience to better realize what I want and thus refining the vision. So perhaps it's ok after all not to be that motivated and that it's just a good thing I'm starting to be aware of this topic. What are your thoughts regarding journaling and vision? What does it mean for you to deepen your vision? What self-actualization techniques do you use? What are you currently focused on? You can also share part of your vision. I for instance just do 15 minutes meditation every morning and focused on calisthenics, reading and recently on actualized.org. I do often get distracted with youtube, anime, or simply daydreaming. intro.docx (I added some things that relate only to me above what Leo said so notice that it is changeable 😂)

@Ninja_pig I just copied what Leo said in his video. It's mostly for inspiration, but I get you on that having a smaller list can keep the vision more clear, and I might also need to edit it once in a while. Yeah, developing small healthy habits. But they derive from the vision first and foremost. Of course, because they are very unique to you, and we are all very unique and different from each other. But how did you come up with a vision? Did you sit with a journal and go through this similar process like in the word document I attached (journaling where you are currently in life, have been, are going, what you want, what are the obstacles and fears...)? Did you just make time to sit and do nothing but reflect on your life and 'poof' - a vision? Or something else? Curious.

@RendHeaven Oh wait shit, dafaq?? How did I forget who you were? Bro... I was just scrolling through some old thread of the faces of the people our of curiosity and then I see you but for some reason I forgot that this is how you named yourself. That totally makes sense that you watch him lmao. Wait, just in order not to confuse you with someone else, did you also say you watch anime?

It's been a long while since I wrote something. Hello again! I ask please not to judge me for this. For a very long time already I've had this plan in mind to: 1. Buy a certain course about social skills, and in order to do that I need to go open a new credit card (which means ordering the card through the nearest bank) and then paying for the course. Also to finish going over all the newsletters I've been getting from them. 2. To finish and be up to date with anime reaction videos (anime I've watched already on my own) of someone I am subscribed to on Patreon. He keeps releasing new videos that I just enjoy watching, but I realize that when I am excited watching him react to something that I found very cool I am basically wasting time I could have anything watched a new anime myself - which I really wanted to do and catch on already. So almost every day I check if he uploaded something. Now I'm making an effort to watch his reactions just to ONE anime. 3. Start investing money. I have FINALLY gotten the trading app for my phone, a comfy one. My goal for this year was to finish watching a playlist of like 70 videos of someone explaining about investing. I have stupidly rushed into buying some QQQ stocks because I think it might be good but mostly because of FOMO and that I am not managing to invest time to learn about investment. 4. Get back to watching anime. Boy oh boy, you don't have to understand this one much' but I haven't watched anime in such a long time, because instead I've been watching reactions to anime. I really want to get back to it once I make myself psychologically available from all the previous stuff. I know this is just a psychological problem. 5. Get back to music. This has been so long lost that it isn't something I think about anymore. I haven't touched the piano really for like a little over 2 years (basically when I started my job of serving the country). This has been a long lost dream, really. I don't have much emotion now writing this. The only reason I felt like writing it is because I really like to whistle and I know that I am musically gifted. Ok, so as you see, I believe I'm trapped in some sort of matrix. I have my focus in different places, not accomplishing anything, nothing useful about that. I keep having this fantasy of managing all of those together (like "once I finish this, then I'll finally be able to focus on getting on with the others"). I am really stuck. But you know? It's been a very long time since I've been here. I've ditched Leo and all this stuff behind thinking it is all delusional and mental masturbation. But after reading Yuval Noah Harari's first 2 books, and stumbling across Leo's video of Understanding Survival Part 1 it all started making more sense to me. Nothing fluffy about it. It was practical from the beginning to the end. And so I continued getting back to him, rewatching some stuff I saw a while back. I just don't want to fall into the mental masturbation and fantasy land making it a distraction for my problems. I am also thinking of planning the episodes I'll watch. Too information overload. With all that I can still proudly say that I'm satisfied with where I am in terms of workout (calisthenics), and that I can understand some basic Japanese from a podcast I'm listening to. Wow! Feels like a long time I haven't said anything. It has kind of a feeling to it... I hope to keep learning and growing. This whole awareness and survival game is really peaking my interest. I guess growth isn't linear after all, very far from what I thought.

Guys let's stop debating these trash forms of exercise. The true king of all is CALISTHENICS.

I must say those were probably one of the most profound videos I've seen so far (Understanding survival part 1 and 2). It's a super foundational concept that plays a very major role in life, if not the most. I've been on a long hiatus from actualized.org because I saw it going too spiritual for me and it didn't mean much to me so I just threw it away for a while. Relatively recently I've read Yuval Noah Harari's books and it gave me quite a good basic understanding of human survival but especially collective society survival and how humans rule the world with the use of myths and fantasy. So then I stumbled on my recommended on Leo's Understanding Survival Part 1 video, and I thought to myself I can give it a shot, and my god, I was amazed. Ok so the first problem is that while watching it I was like "Damn, totally right! Makes sense... I see!" or "What? No. Hold on Leo what the hell? Ok, without judgement, let's prioritize understanding it really." But now as I finished also watching the second part I don't think it will be so easy for me to explain to someone what is survival. Like, I did follow on what he said in the videos but he also said in the second part to re-watch the series because for sure I might've skipped over something. I'm trying to get to the deepest understanding, but without rushing, so that questions arise at their own time: Why does the brain divide that skewed line between what is me and what is not me, assuming (the brain, apparently) that what needs to survive is a 'me' (fantasy) rather than this body structure it's connected to and in control of? I want to assume that Maslow's hierarchy of needs plays a big role in it, which wasn't mentioned in the videos really. Caring about self-confidence and community come only after basic needs are met (like breathing, shitting, eating). But then still how come people would die for their self-identity when basic needs come to first priority? How can I clearly identify a survival strategy (in my own behavior and other people's behaviors) and the way it helps survival? So when I finished watching part 2 I was ready to go observe my dad. I walked downstairs and as usual I saw him sitting on the couch in a slouched position with some snack in front of the TV. In most cases this is just his usual unhealthy lifestyle, but after seeing a video of actualized.org, especially like this one, I really felt bad for him. I didn't say anything, but it felt bad how some people are doomed to living such lives because of their ignorance because of their upbringing and what they were exposed to. I am damn privileged, but I just know my father isn't living happily, and he is very neurotic and I know he will very much fear his death. I'm sure more people can relate to me.

I've just went today to a Japanese style massage spa and got the regular oil massage. She was really not the best and not worth the money, but I noticed something interesting: She could very quickly and easily recognize when I'm tensed/relaxed, which made me realize that my emotions can for real be mapped on my body. Ok, so I knew this already in my mind that emotions are actually physical and are running through the body, but when she quickly noted it to me to relax it was as though I was easily read, and more than that - many times my body just automatically got tense and a little shaky without even meaning to, and I believe it to be tensions that were stored there unresolved. What do you guys think?

💀

@Princess Arabia What self-actualization/consciousness work are you doing? Currently I'm doing 15 minutes meditation every day but it doesn't really feel like I'm getting anywhere, and my social media addiction is very great so this basically is an obstacle. But I'm still not getting into life purpose and business and all that stuff. Currently I want to get those addictions handled, build momentum with a vision... It's funny how right now this is all happening - the momentum - as though speaking and being aware of it brings you to a higher place. This is cool and why journaling is cool. I just don't always self reflect (journal). So yeah... Awareness might be key for real. As I see it, we are a biological machine, just like any other thing here on earth, and sometimes I'll need an external knock on the head for looking inwards and building momentum.

@Princess Arabia Apologies for the attitude. I just felt also somewhat like you're trying to speak from a higher place and trying not to get into deep shit

This already isn't the right question, because then I can tell you likewise "I can touch a pencil, can you touch the sensation in your own finger?" Look, I really don't care about all the spiritual wisdom that resides in your head. I'm trying to be practical here so let's keep it at that. I won't even begin to dissect this one and leave it at that. The only thing I'll say, though, is that it is still energy responding to energy. Again, I'm trying to be scientific about this issue. You can have all your esoteric understandings of life as you want. But I rather not hear something like "all is energy", "all is imagination" and take it for granted. The best understanding will be from a place of genuine self observation and inquiry with no arrogance at all (why should there be?). Thanks for answering though

I find it immensely difficult to get off distractions, especially on days when I oversleep, wake up late, and on my phone for a long time. I always find some new addiction whether it's youtube, instagram, or just mindlessly consume self help for the high. I don't have a strong enough motivation to do something else. It's hard to quite the mind and lower dopamine levels once they are fried.

@Princess Arabia Emotion is physical, or else it's just your imagination. The energy isn't contracted, the muscles are. There's no me to be meaning to do anything because I'm a sophisticated biological machine that responds to stimuli and my inner biology. Have you had experience with spa massage? If so, what do you think about it?

@Leo Gura What is 'core personality'? I believe your personality is connected to your strength and values, but which are connected to your DNA. And so what do you mean by blossoming my personality? Is my personality not good that it needs fixing? Maybe your personality is set in a certain way like I said, but then doing consciousness work like journaling and observing yourself can help create new ways of thinking and more playful with beliefs, thus changing your worldview, beliefs and habits for a more better experience. Does that what you mean? 'Core personality' as in authentic self? This implies that currently my personality is highly affected by the way I act from beliefs and suppression, rather than natural flow.

@Leo Gura I know this might seem a bit ridiculous to assume you aren't thinking about your forum that you created and part of your life purpose. But I notice that you attract many people who just come here to argue. And really dumb down the forum a lot by arguing, criticizing, judging, calling names, who is more "enlightened". This is really not to talk down on you and what you've created, but I think it's something very valuable to consider and hopefully you won't hate me for saying it. After all, you can learn a lot about yourself from the people you attract. Coming in peace brother. If I said anything inappropriate then I didn't mean to.

@ZenSwift I am familiar with this issue. It's like a loop of always looking for another technical step... Suggestion: Get off YouTube, social media, phone or any other distraction. Pull out a journal and make a quick assessment of your life - Where are you currently in life, where have you been, where are you going, what do you want, what are your biggest fears, what have you tried... And when you start journaling all of this your life becomes more in the front of your mind and you think about it more, and it is just natural for creative thoughts to rise among them because being aware of your life brings more 'room' for thinking in new ways about all of that... You start feeling more empowered... And naturally more thoughts about what you want will arise. Really, don't try to force thinking about what you want. Focus on observing (journaling) your current life - that's all, and that's great and empowering in itself. As a bonus you might very well get a new vision for your life. My small take