Loba

@zeroISinfinity Doesn't matter, this is what happened before where I had let go and wanted to do my own thing, and this only took me like a couple days to get over, I've been done with it from the near start - and this forum has a habit of dragging things on and then instigating a response, and I don't want to keep falling back into other people's nonsense. The moment I bumped into them bad things started to happen and so I really don't want anything to do with that person, I don't want their name attached to my spiritual journey, I have them blocked on here and on a blocksite - so stop. Also, I am not into that kind of stuff - it makes me anxious to see myself being misrepresented. What if people then start interacting with me expecting something disgusting like that? Had you genuinely looked at what I was trying to do? Nothing from that was positive; all of it trying to pull myself out of a horror show, why would anyone move towards the results of that?

I don't feel that way at all pertaining to cancer in the body. Little children get cancer, it isn't a good comparison imo. As far as future thought crimes or using AI, if such a thing exists then it would take into account the entire chain of thought and events - this would have to be put into the system. The only thing that would stop it is if people interfered with the AI being able to make an accurate judgement.

@Epikur I don't think cancel culture works, either. Then you just have mobs of angry people trying to enact justice on another and that doesn't often work. Maybe there just needs to be a chain of teachers? That all teachers should consider themselves students, even among students.

From what I saw - I don't like him, I don't think that way of teaching helps people at all. I think it makes it worse. I'm glad to hear he no longer teaches like that anymore. Few things are as messed up as trying to force your opinion on another person without questioning it and thinking that they have to take it. I think that people who want to teach/instruct others generally have underlying issues to be quite frank. You're already putting yourself in a position that you think you know better than the other person. I think people with issues with power and control like to gravitate towards these professions. Just my 2c.

@zeroISinfinity I don't know if I have an opinion on it, I don't know what I like only what I don't like

@Hulia Then it's not really cheating if she knows. People who like a lot of activity, noise and running around and being shoulder to shoulder with strangers I suppose. That's a shallow statement. I am working with it - but if you know this, why push people's buttons? When people act this way, and then do something different this tells me that I am talking to someone who is shifty. Everyone's intentions are usually good, but people have the ability to pick and choose what they will accept and what they won't and so even if your intentions are good, the other person still should have the option to choose what they accept into their bubble of influence for lack of better term. Of course.

I'll delete this in a bit because I don't feel good about posting in other's journals but I just wanted to let you know that I relate 100 percent to what you are going through and I want you to know I am rooting for you and hope that you are able to regain your health and find even greater levels of divinity within you, good luck. Have you spoken with @Michael569? He has a lot of knowledge on health conditions and might be able to give you some advice.

@zeroISinfinity Well if it isn't physical I guess, maybe, idk. Does she know? Poor girl. You do? I'm getting tired of cities tbh. Okay, then go do those things. Projection. You talk at people rather than to them, idk, I'm learning that this proclivity makes conversation convoluted. As far as others making me happy or not, I will never be happy, that isn't my goal and I don't care about others making me happy. I care more about them not making me upset than happy tbh.

@zeroISinfinity Never said I wanted enlightenment.

@BornToBoil Keep in mind this is coming from a guy who cheated on most of his girls and spent the summer making a public thread for everyone all about him. To z: You spent over a month wasting Galyna's time with your relationship crap - that woman was codependent and didn't have the heart to tell you that you are a self centered mental case - I have had more than one person message me, actually, about you because you are known for being a loud mouthed, abrasive ... kind of ... messed up in the head a bit, right... is that it, can't write properly, ect, you are also delusional, you had thought some things about me and it took a long time to get you off my back. You should learn your lesson. Don't control other people, what they wish to do. You should mention those things when you do this. Like how you kept getting into my journal and I could not get you to stop for a long time. And then made a bunch of other ones and I could not get you to stop? And then when I was talking to a guy here, posted something in the music section you did that... You're a legit crazy person. Look in the mirror. People read your posts here and laugh. You're a joke. How many times have you left this place just to comeback five minutes later? Leave her alone, let her like who she likes. Go eat some mud, friend.

You're attempting to embarrass someone who doesn't want to be involved in nonsense, if you're going to post rude things - keep it about me.

I have an idea, something that has been on my mind today. I need to raise my energy up into my heart, I only want to spend about 3-4 months here, until I move and then forest k.o. after pets are situated in the home. But I don't want my soul to end up somewhere disconnected, and connection via the heart might be the only way to keep this from happening. I want to grow by making really beautiful things, and to me, beauty is darkness, it is savage, sometimes brutal and I think that you have a very deep understanding of what that actually is. We get along well when we talk, both have an understanding of being wounded and do not have judgement towards this despite seeing it sometimes coming out. I was thinking about how I have a good ability to see into people, in a subconscious sort of way and when I looked at what was underneath you it was not disgusting and distorted, or cruel or savage in the wrong way - but put together just right. You don't hint at me with things that make me feel bad, and you are kind and supportive with your words and actions. I also admire things in your culture, like how the image of God is taken out and the video you showed me where many people would move together as one to pray. So my idea is this: each day, to every other day, I will work on my artwork - with you in mind and I will keep my emotions calm, loving, inspired - with the hope of freedom from something in me that was put on me in childhood, just like you. A curse. It will be in the spirit of connection, and to send to you positive energy for what you have done and how you have treated me - with the intent to help your soul grow and energy sent with, in mind, wanting the best in your life. And all that I ask is a prayer each day, oriented towards universal Love, from the soul - and I think this is how a social memory complex is created and maintained. And we could learn this skill, because it will be very valuable for the next life, if you believe in that. This is what I was initially shown when I was looking at the sky and the city lights and I was told I could keep my vibration in line with fixing childhood trauma, and while deviating from that to try to understand why I could not keep that state - I think that someone who has been through it and understands it, to send this energy to you would be moving in that direction. I don't know what will come from this art, it might end up being quite strange - I don't know what is locked in my psyche. But it will have this sort of quality to it: You gave me a new name. I will leave the idea open for a few days, don't feel pressured with yes or no, listen to your gut - what you wanna do. It's an odd request, after all.

@soos_mite_ah That is wonderful to hear, congratulations on your growth.

I always tend to get an extreme example with these things, I doubt it's at like 1. My opinion on it is that people are just naturally oriented in a certain way.

That movie messed me up, too. I thought I was the only one, unless you're kidding of course.

What do you want know about it? I have a lot of experience with hell realms. Please don't explore them; they are hard to get out of. If you must, explore just to recognize it in the outer world, but don't get caught in it.

Yeah, I had a friend who fell directly on his neck as a kid, and his mother didn't take him to the doctor - he was numb for a few weeks - and it created problems later in life and the symptoms you mention are what he had as well. He said something about being injured in the neck can cause those symptoms specifically as well, but I don't know much about it.

I have a twin flame. Everybody does. Long story short, your twin flame is not a single person - souls send out many parts of themselves all at once across spacetime. It is simply whatever you register with during a certain period of awakening and can change, just like any energy does. I have a whole journal from last summer that I might pull back up sometime in a few months where I went through the step by step process. It is basically just your "I Am" - and you find it by finding the opposite gendered energy within yourself - it is like a wave coming from within and also outwards. If you go up the food chain, that masculine I Am is pretty much just all men - Adam. And then all women, Eve. That is the literal "twin flame" or yin yang. This doesn't sound like twin flame. A least not conscious one. You have to use that energy inwards and just move and live as yourself. That connection doesn't sound healthy for you either, move on asap.

@Karmadhi True. I don't know what to say tbh. I understand though.

Energy needs to consume energy in order to grow and evolve. But it hits a tipping point where eventually you start to see and feel the pain of the animals that you eat, and that culture has conditioned people not to see animals as unique Beings. There is a shift, and it feels visual as well, when this happens. I think this happens when consciousness is unaware of itself and then autocorrects when it is. It's a level, I guess?

@Phyllis Wagner Maybe rent a room on the first floor and do them there instead if this worries you? Although, maybe jumping would be the best experience you could ever have? Don't do it, but what if you were in a really wonderful state, and you did, and when you crashed into the concrete, you would go right through it into an infinite singularity of love or whatever your beliefs are on the afterlife? And if you didn't, you end up with a deadly cancer?

@Karmadhi I have no idea, I was often the one paying in my ltr. (I'm a chick.) I didn't have to with most of the other guys I dated, and I was polite so they felt okay with it. Do you feel like it is more of a problem if it is a bad date? I guess it is dependent on what direction you want to go in. So you could, once dating someone exclusively, both write up a plan. This is who does what, when, where, why, how. And moving towards mutual goals, stuff like that. That would balance it. But during the dating process it does seem like men have to put in more work. I don't really know what to do about that. It's expected culturally, so maybe what is missing is that many people no longer date with purpose anymore so in that sense, men having to do more work, pay for things when dating multiple people - this is outdated but we have not caught up with it yet as a society. Generally expected but no longer needed. Maybe the solution is that if it is casual, then women should put in an equal amount of work but if you are dating traditionally, like, taking a decent, slow amount of time, then that would make more sense for the guy to pay imo. We just need to, as a society evolve into that new custom. But in the meantime, dating will be harder for men and easier for women. TBH, I had short relationships when in my early 20's and then a long-time on and off again 10 yr relationship that kind of left me feeling burned out, and so I am out of the dating scene. I don't understand a lot of what you guys do... especially now, like with tinder and online dating profiles and whatever else people do. It didn't seem so polarized a decade ago. You just sort of, went out with friends, would meet other mutual friends and if things clicked, that was about it. Don't people meet that way nowadays anymore? From social circles and stuff? (I know, covid, but before that) I guess I would need to know more about modern dating to give a better answer. I guess, for women, they have to eat well, dress nice, be clean, hair, makeup, work out, be feminine, ect. I remember putting time into getting ready, like I would make a day out of it, finding the right outfit, makeup, doing my hair nicely - and when a woman is doing this, it is for you. That woman has you in mind while getting ready for the date, so if you see a woman that has taken time to look good, then they are not just showing up, but that they value you enough to do so. They could just say "fuckit" and not bother.

The next song - I can hear my cat that was "stolen" from me. "Possession", negative social complexes and the being itself expressing itself, "We don't need your help." Came out today, snake eating its tail. Syndicate. I am being tested. Because I am/part of a negative social entity/complex, and I loved the cat quite a lot and I most likely won't get him back. I think my error is being too soft, perhaps the full extraction of love is an important component. I felt sad for a day, and I will keep looking for him but I am over it, I have almost fully accepted the loss and can move on. After my other two pets die, I will not own another one ever again. What's the point if you can't keep them safe from other people's bullshit? Maybe I could do service to Self in the afterlife and then service to Other if I somehow end up becoming a 6th density being, and focus solely on personal wisdom for this life? I could find it in the forest if everything works out well. God, Wolf, Demon, whatever, whathaveyou, what do you say? You seem to do something cruel every time I am about to transmute something important, something that is drastic and unexpected and always ultimately harmful and gets in the way, and so this tells me that perhaps, although the higher Self instructs it, that I am running a fool's errand. Give me a sign as to why this is happening to me, please. If growth is such an important component, then what are you hiding from me that requires that I lose so much? It feels like a gaslight. Going through death, coming back from the fugue and another bad thing, another misunderstanding, and yet I feel almost programmed to move in the direction of some form of understanding of this. I get it. You want to destroy me. You want to hollow me out and take absolutely everything and you think it's funny. That every awakening I have, that I think would be something good - "more than one way to skin a cat", you go and skin my cat. You trick me by showing something that seems good, and I can see God within it - I think, I hope - and of course any person would move towards that - because it is what we should do. And then you throw it in my face and expect me to love and live in the light, blah blah blah. Why stop now? Why bother dragging it out? Just get rid of me then, recycle my soul, burn me for all eternity, whatever. I don't care. You say, "You left the door open..." I hate you. It's not funny. There better be a decent underlying reason for it. "Lesser". Murderer. I was supposed to orient myself to something noble, and I chose ending child abuse - looking at the night sky, the earth, unified, interconnected... You can do that, because thoughts project outwards, if you are in that almost borderline manic state, it is feasible - I tried. I kept falling downwards, I thought that if I went through death, which it seems to show up when it wants to - if I went through sexuality I could bring it up - that the power from it would do this and you lead me down the wrong road. You bring the worst outcomes to every noble intention, and you plaster me with the intentions of those around me and it sticks. You're something evil. Can I get rid of you? Can you tell me what you are? If there is something else here, can you remove it? If there is something beneficial in the spiritual wilderness - I request that you line everything up awagin with truth and, like I asked before, keep the street empty. I am ready to move into the light, but you need to stop these situations from happening. Otherwise, will you explain to me my error? What is it that is causing each chain to create something worse? Notes: