Loba

On another note "CIA Spy on MBTI" is super catchy to say out loud.

You seem so sweet. Oh, if only you knew - they're single handedly the most narcissistic and psychopathic personality type. I'm not making that up or over-exaggerating; understanding their own, let alone another person's emotions is nearly impossible for them. Much like the INFJ, they're an over-idealized personality type - "The Mastermind - LOL" - but to be honest with you, INTJ's chew up and spit out IXFP's. They're cold, abrasive, sarcastic, arrogant and when it comes to direction in life, they're super wishy-washy and all over the place in many respects - not usually very stable people. They're aloof and also expect a lot from people. An ENTP could handle a person like that because they wouldn't be able to get away with shit, it would be seen through and called out on. But an IXFP would easily become a doormat for this type of person who would grow bored and resentful. A lot of them are very bitter and secretly harbour feelings of hatred for the world not being at the same intellectual capacity as they are, and they can't "bond" emotionally to people like normal humans have, so they end up becoming like aliens, always on the outside looking in. ENXJ would be a better match for an IXFP - stable, reliable, if they're feeling type - then sweet and attentive, if thinking type, structured and orderly - actually in the real world. An ENTJ will take you into their life like a little pet, an INTJ will take you in like a small boy that peels the wings off of innocent bugs and then views them with the eyes of an unfeeling surgeon about to cut into a slice of someone.

From my awakening experiences, I was given an intuitive kind of structure into how this worked. What it felt to be, was kind of like getting off of a theme park ride - it was outside of spacetime and I could feel what people would call time ever flowing forward, while I was stationary, kind of like being on a wave machine. I could feel every other soul that ever was or will be, dead and alive and future, all connected to a source that was at the end of this wave, like moving us all ever closer towards it. We were made of this material, but our experiences were punched out, like bubbles of awareness, made of nothing at all, partitioned by nothing at all, but still a multiplicity - simply made from the same material - while on this wave, riding it with everyone else, I realized that time didn't exist in the way that I thought it did, and I realized that I had always been there underneath what I call my life, that death and birth were never a thing - that everything had been choreographed so that it could be stripped away from me, to be seen for what it was in that moment.

Maybe they're super awesome people who transcend cognitive function limitations and see the value in one another despite being so different? *wiggles nostrils*

@thisintegrated What's your perfect INTJ wife in this scenario? "Let me tie you up tonight, and plan over the next six months - in great detail - your unsolvable cold case murder."

*takes a look around disheveled bedroom* Ahem. *sniffs* I'll do it tomorrow. Martyr's mantra.

Maybe it goes to show that we all have our preferences at the end of the day. Sometimes you need an intellectual sparring partner, sometimes you need a sandwich maker who remembers to wash your underwear for you.

Honestly, I think these things should just be used as general guides - most people will get along with each other if they try. Imagine finding someone really great for you, then using this system and dismissing them? They can be used to help guide people in the right direction to finding people that are more compatible, but on further inspection, one can indeed get too militant with MBTI. Balance. It was nice talking with everyone here, but I've had my fill of MBTI for a while so I am going to bow out.

Dude, that's great! I am super happy for you. I plan on starting a morning routine next week as well and if this thread is still near the top of the line in a month I will report back on my results. I'm trying to work on feeling better about my appearance, to care for my body a bit more and to try and ground myself in a routine. Keep it up! All the best.

Ni-Fi's don't actually generally ghost people. They observe you first, then speak with you. They'll ghost you before speaking to you, but once they reach out - this isn't a trait they often have. It's usually Fi-Ne users that ghost others, and sometimes Ne-Fi. I don't know much about the mating habits of sensors to qualify to add anything here.

It could be a Fe thing, I used to have more of that when I was younger - but I learned that the way I love tends to be based more on fantasy, than seeing the person for who they are - I would get these really wild crushes that had more to do with expectation than anything else. Now that I am older, I take a step back and try to take my time. There's always this knowing in the back of my mind that my love isn't entirely based on who they are, but what I perceive them to be and I don't like that when that happens to me, so I try not to do it to others. ENTPs are more grounded in reality than INFPs are, so what you see in others is probably more indicative of who they are as people than what I tend to plaster over others. This only happens with crushes, though, with just the general population I have a pretty good sense of who they are and what they are about. I have not met too many in the real world, my dad is one and we get along well. From what I have seen online and past acquaintances that I had, they are very adaptable to most situations. Oh that's sad, generally one can work through these things with a partner if they're already established. Maybe she didn't want to put that burden on you? Yes, this has been my experience. Which is fine, I realize that they tend to live in a world of possibilities and that this can conflict with the reality of a situation; in my own way, I can be the same in not knowing what I want, vacillating a lot. It does lead me to question why people pair them with EXFP's, who are very chaotic, also don't know what they want and usually are not very grounded. Upon further reflection, a grounded, in the real world ENTP would work well. I'm just being sarcastic, I don't think a fanatical EXFP would be a good choice, either. I've had many, many ENFP friends and they don't lend for long term stability. I agree with you there, I can't imagine that someone who has my functions, but turned upside down would have enough in common with me to make anything work. Fe + Fi is great but Fi + Fi is generally butting heads unless they both have the same values, but values can change over time, whereas Fe just kind of rolls with it.

Bahahaha! I'm cracking up so much right now. I would still be laughing, too, if someone was stuck with that label, every time they'd post it'd be such an 'lol' Let's just slap toxic on 'em and be done with it. Someone ask Yarco how he feels about that.

A bit of both. Some days I feel very depressed and there is a lot to work through - so I do - and then this gives rise to better days where I feel more happy and carefree. It depends on how much shadow work I have done on myself in a particular area. I could be happy for many weeks, do some work on myself, hit a brick wall and need to backtrack or look into some things to understand why I am not feeling my best. Times like these, I feel very despondent, like nothing is going my way, I start to think about death a lot and it feels like my options begin to whittle down. I often start to lack in self love, self care and don't do a whole lot, but this usually gives way to a more energetic cycle where I accomplish a bit more for a time - just to start the whole process over again. There are many things in life to be happy about, but at the same time there are many things in life to be sad about and it can be hard to merge perspectives to find the right balance. Especially if you are a sensitive person, little things can really blow up into seemingly big disasters that need to be tackled. If something doesn't go my way, or if I can't find the immediate solution, my go-to is to either feel very frustrated or very sad. But I think, with more continued work on myself, more awareness on my emotions and trying to seek understanding, that I will be happier for longer, with little bouts of sadness in between. Right now it's about 40 percent happiness, 60 percent sadness.

I don't think people should be silenced for having differing opinions or beliefs or experiences, but that seems to be a common theme on this forum. A lot of really nasty behaviour is gleaned right over, but if someone has a different way of viewing the world or a different set of opinions, they are often thrown under the bus - even if they aren't being particularely forceful about those beliefs. I think it can be a problem to stifle people, especially if there is a crumb of truth from all sides, you inevitably get an echo chamber with everyone repeating the same sort of things to one another, and you ultimately do end up throwing the truth out of the window when you do this. Silencing and suppressing people honestly doesn't work, but having a thought out well-meaning conversation where two people may not see eye to eye, but can at least find some area of mutual respect, this does work. I see people with bad attitudes, spreading cynicism, abuse, manipulative personas, intellectual ego wars that are designed to go nowhere... - but as long as they speak with the same general nomenclature as everyone else, they fall under the radar - while someone who is relatively even tempered, but doesn't have the same political position as everyone else is ousted and marked with a permanent label by their username. Honestly, I think a snarky, bad, haughty attitude is more of a collective problem then just someone who doesn't believe in the same things I do. Someone with odd beliefs is just ultimately delusional and that can be relatively harmless as long as you don't get sucked into it, but someone with a holier-than-thou stick-up-their-butt chip-on-their-shoulder kind of an attitude that they foist onto others is always going to inevitably try and transform you with their worldview, or at the very least try to dominate your mental space with their crappy, opinionated nonsense.

I don't believe in marriage. I feel like the most loving thing you can do for a person is to allow them the option to leave if they want to and marriage is a barrier to that. I understand it is used as a ceremony to cement two people's commitment, but I view it as an outdated thing that is still common in this day and age, but it doesn't need to be. On top of this, these ceremonies are not unique, they have a certain structure that you have to follow that don't give the couple much room to even explore what their commitment means to them. I don't like the idea of having to stand up in front of an audience of people and recite my vows, kiss them, put on a ring and eat a slice of expensive cake. Speaking of expensive, weddings cost money. So do divorces. And people change over time, you can't be assured that one person isn't going to outgrow the other one. It's not easy to stay on the same page, and being expected to do that for a lifetime sounds horrible. I would rather know that someone is with me because they choose to be and not because they are forced to be. Just as I want an out if it doesn't work, I want them to have that as well. That said, I like the idea of collaring ceremonies. Like wearing a thin gold band around the neck and doing something more intimate and private. It would mean the same thing, but without the legal system getting in the way, and if the relationship fails, just take the key, open the lock and set them free. The idea of 'belonging' to someone, and having created a unique and personal experience of that means more to me then following the social script. But you know, some people are really into that and they make it work so more power to them. It all just depends on your personal preferences and in some cases the culture you are raised in.

If I love someone, it starts with a feeling in my heart and gut that I take note of and they might be on my mind more often than usual. I'll feel a sense of warmth in my heart area and butterflies in my stomach when I think of them or are around them. I will feel especially shy and might not know how to strike up a conversation. This is just the beginning stage, though, a crush. Usually in this stage I try to mind myself and to not pay too much attention to them, I'll try to reign in my thoughts of them and will try to come to understand why I am feeling the way that I am feeling and if it has any merit or if it is something that I am just playing out in my mind because of a frivolous attraction. If I manage to start a conversation and it goes further, I won't flirt, I am not good at it, but I will push forward; I will feel very, very flustered, embarrassed and self conscious. I might start doing more, like working out or wearing makeup more often. I will look for reasons to be around this person, but I won't let on that I like them unless they tell me first. If it is mutual, then I notice I am more energized. I feel like writing poetry and working on art, taking care of myself better and will try to come to understand who they are emotionally and psychologically, as deep as I can go. I will try to predict things that they need from me and will try to give that to them. Sexually, I am very sweet, warm and snuggly and I will look into their eyes a lot, kiss their face, rest my face in the crook of their neck. I like to be the big spoon, though. It's more comfortable for me, but occasionally I will let them hold me and snuggle me up close. I might feel more of an urge to drink in order to overcome my feelings of shyness, and when I do, I've been told I am good at "seeing" into people. Generally, I know I love someone when I start wanting to make positive changes in my life for them. It honestly takes me a while to fall in love, I don't just "fall into it", I need time to mull it over and decide on if it is something that makes sense to me. I used to rush headfirst into things in my youth and what I noticed is that I didn't take the time to get to know the person and so I created a false narrative of who they are, and knowing that I have the proclivity of doing this, I am much more cautious. Love can be tricky. You can love a person, or you can love an image of a person, and it's important to get that sorted out before making a move.

Woman here - I used to feel this way about pick-up, too. It played on a lot of insecurities that I have about myself, but then I did some digging and tried to see it from the other point of view. If a man does not know how to talk to and manage women, and he was never taught, where is he supposed to learn this stuff from? There comes a point in time when a man gets too old to start learning the basics, and he needs to get that skill right while he's still in his early to mid twenties. What happens to these men who are never taught how to get laid? They become bitter, resentful and sometimes aggressive and a lot of them can become murderers and rapists. A large portion of the young male population who acts out in aggressive ways does so because they were not properly socialized. Pick-up allows men to also bond with one another and it allows them to hone in on their natural hunting instincts. Yes, women do want love and pick-up isn't always ideal for finding this, but who's to say that the nerdy shy guy isn't also looking for the same thing and this is why he is practicing talking to women? It's assumptive to label all men who practice this as guys who just want to pump and dump. I think pick-up is fine, it is certainly better than having incel or red-pill ideologies - I mean, they're taking action to change something in their lives and this is admirable. I think a guy can take it too far, though and that there needs to be a balance and I am sure most of them find that. It's a select few that turn this sort of thing into a lifestyle and these are the sorts of men that women need to be cautious of. I don't agree that we are conditioned with the idea of love from movies and so forth, I think it is just an instinctual need that women have - it doesn't even have a particular story or anything behind it - a woman's love is just a series of warm actions that she takes towards her partner. It's clear that movies are not indicative of the real world in the same way that men don't take action movies seriously. They're just entertainment. As for me, what do I do to find love? Not much, I'm just here or there. I'm going to wait to lose some weight, see how I feel about myself then and go from there. If it is something that is still appealing to me, then I might take action. It's hard to know, because single life is so free, and I appreciate being able to do what I want to do when I want to do it, and relationships are like taking care of a pet in a way, you have to make sure you nurture it every day. To wrap this up, I wouldn't knock pick-up. If it helps you find that love, then go for it. Do what you have to do, just do it responsibly.

I don't know if I believe in aliens... I used to... But... I'm not so sure now. I think if they existed that they would in some other completely separate place from ours. We might exist in similar places, but completely crisscross dimensions. If a species is going to advance, it will probably do so with the grace of the universe and so they wouldn't be like physical, they would be something different, not easily understood or accessible by normal human consciousness. They would be closer to gods in their own right, I don't think they would mix or interfere with humans much at all other than to express love. But I am also very skeptical about this subject, as I was going through a lot of weird things when I "experienced" aliens. I think, the closest we could get to them would be non-localized personalities/souls and stuff. I don't know what to make of UFO's. Like with anything, there are a lot of explanations out there for what they could be, and if they exist, then why have humans not been able to - not once - get decent footage of one? What would they want with our crummy world anyways? It seems to me like moving through the universe takes up a lot of energy, if an advanced lifeform is going to visit a planet, it wouldn't visit our miserable, puny little species. We aren't interesting. I think it rests with the human desire to be observed and taken into account by a higher life form and you can see this with the mythologies that we have invented as well. Maybe a deep need to be seen and catered to by a parent? Who knows. On another line - a lot of people do experience strange beings when taking drugs, I guess the question is, can you believe someone who is in an altered state like that? As someone with a mental illness, I can tell you, the brain can trick you into coming up with all kinds of conclusions and scenarios, and they can seem so so real, but are ultimately based on a lie. As much of a self affirming lie as the one that anyone bases their current existence on. Truth is, in actuality, very illusive. I think that with these things, we need to go in with a lot of skepticism. To see things from as many angles as possible before deciding that there are UFOs or aliens out there. Maybe there are. I could be wrong. I genuinely do not know. But the evidence is lacking in my personal opinion for physical beings, and for the psychological ones, I don't know if the mind is to be fully trusted when encountering odd phenomenon.

I think you are "real" in that you are a soul, a partition, a bubble of consciousness connected to the main source that we all are - that your experiences are valid, that you of course live your own life. But the ego, the memories and experiences that make up the story of who you are, are not real. They are figments created to give you a sense of reality so that you can make your way through the world. In my experiences, God made itself - but it split itself into an uncountable amount of different consciousnesses, all existing within nothing at all, but connected to the main source. So we are all one, but we still have our own bubbles of perception.

I think they probably are the best at a lot of things - ni-te is a super power for sure, and thinking back on my female friend - she put in the effort to be the best at what she did. In everything in life, really. Once she got over her high school struggles, she turned into a completely different person, driven, and always excelled at everything she put her mind to and I really admired her for it. We got along perfectly, there was something very similar about us, but also very different. She was someone who I could say actually genuinely deserved the good things that happened to her because she put in the work and smarts to accomplish what she dreamed in life, and ended up with a loving family, a beautiful house, a great education and a good looking husband, too. It certainly wasn't the stereotypical "hot girl gets everything she wants in life" - she was really beautiful, too, but she actually worked hard and made things happen. I can see how a lot of them end up orange, for sure, constantly striving for success in different areas and also excelling at it like a total boss. But if you don't have high fe and your fi is in the third slot it can be hard to develop the love and warmth that feeling types are able to obtain. That said, though - once they do, they move onto yellow pretty rapidly. I don't know why they would want to be INTP's. I have had some INTP friends, most of them had autism, but they were really wonderful, interesting people who also did really well in the academic field, but they had a harder time diversifying themselves in some aspects. INTP's are so smart, like, the one I knew had three master's degrees in different areas of mathematics, but when it came to understanding people, he really struggled. I think the difference is that he wasn't cold at all, he was awkward, but warm and super sweet. I never get the impression though that an INTJ wants to be anything other than itself. Despite what I've mentioned, and there are a lot on this website, too, they seem to really value being who they are and don't really try to be anything other than that. I get you and agree, if it doesn't fit then the love doesn't matter. I used to have a different outlook on love, but I've been through blind love followed by incompatibility and it can be just... errrr! Everything needs to fit, if it's just love and nothing else then you don't have anything to work with long term. I guess I was just thinking of the ENTP's desire to be loved by people, and an INFJ generally has a deep, deep love that is almost completely unmatched by any other type of person. No, I get that completely. I feel that love and respect are the same thing, just different ways of expressing it. But... I guess also not, in many ways. I can dislike people, but still respect them, and visa versa, I can love someone and not respect them at all. There's always a bit of cognitive dissonance with that, because although they are different, you want to love 'and' respect people instead of just having one or the other. As an INFP, generally I respect most men. While loving them actually takes time. I don't just "love" a person right away, I like to assess them a bit, see what they're like and if I do respect them, then the love 'might' follow. Sometimes though, I do act disrespectfully and it does feel like a skewed dynamic. Generally this happens if I can tell that the guy doesn't have my best interests at heart, then I will bite them. I don't know how ENTP's are with this, you guys generally seem to always have a good nature about you. You do your best to be as objective as you can in most situations. Boulder CO, but maybe under a rock, too, I hear Colorado has a lot of rocks. You could probably find a yellow intj, they're probably not that rare. What's rare is finding a woman with that type. What was incompatible about her, besides orange, that made you break up? Maybe you could have worked through the orange? Yes, I know this - but only if fi values line up - if they don't then they lose interest just as quickly, as I learned with the ex. They like to fantasize about INFP's, but once they get to know us it's a no go more often than not. They genuinely, truly need ne to be happy people, fi isn't good as a long term investment. I could see though, maybe if fi values did match, that it would be a decent relationship, both would be working towards the same thing, but I don't see that being a very common thing. I think that the INTJ would expect more than the INFP could offer and that it would end up with a very lop sided dynamic. They should probably just give up the ghost and stick to EXFP hookers.

Well if you're looking for arrogant, they are that, why you want that, only God knows. INFJs are sweet, good people. I like them. I agree, well rounded, genius level in a lot of the things that they do. I had a close INFJ friend growing up and I loved her a lot, she was really good at organizing parties and I met a lot of people through her. Don't you want someone to love you back? My experiences with this type - I've dealt with three of them in my life, they're super rare. One, a female I grew up with, we always got along really well and she ended up getting a PHD, starting a family with her long term boyfriend, now husband and moving to Boulder. I miss her. I like the female ones, they are pretty chill, the males are strange. She started off doing really terribly in school, but I always remember her having this genius level ability to put things together, like she was always making things and playing with rubix cubes and she had a strong sarcasm about her that was very endearing. Because we grew up together, I got to see her softer side, and she was so innocent and childlike and curious and when we would get drunk we would run around the city and make monkey noises at people. The second was a guy I dated for a short while, he had a crush on me for like a year and I quickly learned that he fantasized about me too much and when he met the real me, he was subtly trying to change aspects of who I was. Also a drug user. Shy. Cute, though. We didn't really have any sparks when we had sex, he thought I was bad at it and expected things to happen right off the bat that my body wasn't capable of and really, I'm not bad, but I just didn't feel it with him, so I couldn't be warm and snuggly with him in my own way and after I realized he had these expectations that were subtle but starting to show themselves, enough that I could see a red flag, I broke up with him. He was sad about it, but got over it and found a nice girl about a year later. That was when I learned that intjs are weird people who don't live in the real world and that they are too dry and cold to really bring out my warm side, and so sparks never get started. I always felt kind of guarded around him, like I couldn't really read him very well. Third was a dude I met on a website, we argued a lot. I thought he hated me, but he reached out, and then right after that told me he didn't feel I should be talking to him for some reason, but I said I didn't mind. We talked for a week or two. He was going through things, and sending me a lot of mixed signals, kind of seemingly attempting to rebound me and I took offence and wrote something a bit over the top at the time. I was drunk. If I wasn't drunk, I probably still would have said something, but not quite so cruelly. As it turns out, his response to me was denying some of his mixed signals, falling back on some initial statements he made and I learned that he had a scathingly accurate picture of every one of my weaknesses and insecurities, like probably more accurate than I could paint a picture of myself and it made me question if this person was talking to me allthewhile just keeping note of every flaw I ever had. I regret saying such mean things to him, though, and I think if he had just kept it casual and hadn't been so weird that I wouldn't have minded him. I admire their ni - te though, from those that I have seen, but I don't know what to make of their arrogance, lack of humility - even if they are intellectually advanced, the hierarchal nature of viewing other people below them, coldness and inability to be in real-reality kind of pushes me away from that type hardcore. And then on top of that they are so fragile underneath it all, like they have no problem analyzing all your weaknesses and in the case of the ex, weirdly fantasizing about you for a long time, and then expecting you to fit into a mold that they've already created in their minds. They view people based on what is wrong with them, assessing their vulnerabilities, allthewhile acting cordial to you, and I don't like that, and you can't call them out on their shit because they'll find reasons as to why you're wrong. Too argumentative. But maybe your type would work well, I could see your type being less sensitive and something sarcastically playful taking off, for sure. So, with that said, when you mention ENTJ being a good match for INFP it worries me, because they are like the big brother type, and I couldn't handle the little brother type and I feel like the big guy would just steam roll right over me. I've witnessed ENTJ's in love and they offer Te solution after Te solution without really seeing their partners for who they are, or connecting to them on any deep level. It's like "just do this and everything will be fine", but it's like, maybe the INFP just wants a more vulnerable partner. This is why I root for the ENFJ's.

I can see that, but I personally have a stubborn streak and I feel like I wouldn't be able to trust their leadership. But in a long term relationship, I tend to be the person that prefers "to-do" lists, or I just generally do nothing or don't know what direction to go in in order to move the partnership forward. So yeah, that does make sense now that I think about it. I would just do my list, cross everything off, then go about with my own little adventures, followed by an evening of snuggles. ENFJ could work if both people are healthy, but it is very hard to manage if either one is unhealthy. I guess I just love the idea of them, thinking about them and their warm Fe + Ni makes me feel squishy inside. You have an intj fetish for sure. I always thought that each type did better with a feeler, though. You with an infj and them with an enfp. I can see you in particular with an intj though: maliciously humorous, arrogant, sarcastic and elitist, with zero feels - like two robots connecting at the wires, it would be an interesting dynamic.

I'm not sure what I am, I'm trying to figure it out. I don't think I want a relationship, but the thought of one crosses my mind pretty frequently and for whatever reason, I find myself getting triggered at some of the topics on here - and question if I am too old at this point to have one, if maybe it isn't the desire for one in the moment, but the realization that I can't have one even if I wanted one later down the road, if that's what's causing this bitterness. I'm still not sure if that's what is making me bitter, either. I think after a few weeks I'll be able to let it go and this terminology "incel", stuff like that, it won't bother me much. I just hit a snag in my development because I looked at some old friends and they were doing well in life and I got to see what I was missing out on, and while I am very happy for them, it was kind of a slap in the face that I didn't expect, and so I'm left just trying to understand how I was so blindsided by these negative emotions that I honestly had no idea that I had to the extent that I did. Basically, I just want to feel content no matter where I am at in life and to not have what other people are doing affect me at all, because it doesn't matter. They are them, and I am me. I don't want to end up being middle aged and snappy and resentful, I want to accept whatever comes my way, even if it wasn't what I expected, I want to be okay with it and to allow other people to have their moments and to shine without feeling like I am losing out. I want to be mutually happy for other people's happiness, and also come to terms with my own life, but to see the gifts that I have been offered as well that I might be blinding myself to by having the wrong mentality. As a woman, I can tell you, it's true, we have an easier time when a man leads - it is much appreciated when they do, because we are taught to generally be the ones to follow, if you don't lead it can create a situation where the woman doesn't quite know what to do. I don't know if I feel hateful, per say, as hate doesn't often enter into my system, but resentment can sometimes come up. I also agree with you that when writing things out online it can come across a bit more terse from all sides. In the real world, I am a very sensitive, soft spoken person who doesn't cause a lot of mischief, who is quite well mannered and nice - but the stream-of-thoughts that writing can take can make me appear to be more bold, more aggressive and less empathetic than I actually am. Sometimes a computer screen can really be a problem for sure, when communicating with people. I've looked into those communities before but they don't interest me because they are people who are bitter and unhappy and want to stay that way, and I recognize bitterness as a soul disease that spreads and so I don't want to be infected with it or to infect others with it. People that get too deep into the incel rabbit hole become very depressive, they don't do a lot of self reflection and I just don't relate to them, other than the possibility of no longer being a viable partner for someone - the main difference is that I don't plan on forever feeling "woe is me" about it - I plan to take action and to grow emotionally. Thanks for writing me, I hope you have a good day dude!

@Yali Hi Yali, I have met female ESTJ's and get along with them pretty well, but I just don't think that a male one would be able to give me the emotional connection that I crave in the way that an ENFJ would. I don't mind if there are different values, I just like the idea of being in a feelsy, warm, snuggly and happy relationship - granted, I think my fantasies about such things are not indicative of the reality that genuine couples face, but I've never really been able to "feel it" for thinking types, for whatever reason. They just seem hard-nosed, logical and it's hard to break the shell to see what's really in there, while feeling types often wear their hearts on their sleeves. I also think that a thinking type would get worn out by my emotions, I have a lot of them, granted they don't just bubble out of me like a geyser, they're still there. If I did find the right ESTJ and we seemed to click, I wouldn't shun them for having an MBTI type I wasn't interested in, I've just taken note of a common theme with the people that I've met. More often than not, I have found a lot of temporary compatibility with ENFPs, but they tend to need to move on to the next thing very quickly, they need someone to create a sense of stability for them, and I find they often try to do that for me as best they can before they just can't help but get fixated on the next big, future endeavor. I get along well with INFJ's as friends, but we are very, very different in how we view the world, I have noticed, it could be similar to the ENFJ that you mentioned. I did date an ENFJ for nine years, but he was unhealthy. We never did see eye to eye. It was like, there was always something that could have been very beautiful right below the surface, but we could never properly connect in a way that gave either of us what we needed. But I could see the potential in it, if he or I were healthy people, then the relationship would have been very different, but neither of us were completely sound of mind and our problems played against one another. We would often take year long breaks, come back to it and feel it could start again, only to begin fighting very shortly afterwards. ESTJ... ESTJ... I guess, I just don't see it. I feel like my laziness would get on their nerves. I'm a homebody and quite set in my writing routine, I think they would be happier with someone who has higher Te. Basically the really structured, busy types kind of put me off because I think they would tire me out, and I would inevitably bore them. I could do 'more' for a time, but I would eventually get over stimulated and need to retreat, and then the lack of emotional connection would play against it.