Noahsteelers34

Don't think about anything, dont worry about trying to accomplish anything

Just try and have fun and enjoy yourself. Let loose.

I have been struggling with indecision. I’m currently seeing a few different girls, and have found myself constantly chasing girls that are “out of my league” and not that interested in me. I’m just done with the games. Constant flaking, and being stressed out over the girls I am very attracted to. on the other hand, one of the girls I’m seeing is really into me. I’m so busy chasing these other girls, I’m not worried about her at all. At the same time she really likes me for who I am and doesn’t play games. I find her attractive and we have fun, and she is chasing me to a certain extent. For context, my last relationship ended because I was so indecisive about wanting to be with her, so I took her for granted. My main issue with this girl is the culture difference. She is from Indonesia, and I am from America. I am worried that those cultural differences will get in the way down the line. But she is the kind of girl who I can say anything around, and she doesn’t care because she likes me. She is always down to see me and doesn’t play these stupid games with me. my question is how do I know when to actually commit to a girl, and get over my indecision of always wanting to find someone else.

@flowboy I’ve only been seeing her for 3 weeks. Plus I don’t even know what classifies being in love with someone.

@Raze @Hojo it’s called post nut clarity hahaha

@NoSelfSelf I’m not sure I’m following what you mean

Hey I can definitely relate to your post for certain periods in my life. I went through a period of being super disciplined, feeling like my habits were perfect, and then still being miserable. Then falling into binge eating episodes. I have largely conquered this to a certain extent. I stopped doing things to get somewhere else and started focusing on finding the things that I love doing in and of themselves. The key word for me is balance. Finding a way to make the most of your situation, while focusing on finding exquisite balance. Not overstraining myself, but also not being too lazy. Creating alot of structure by having an abundance of activities to occupy me. Not just thing that strain me but also activities that allow me to unwind and relax even if that means just lying on the couch and staring at the wall. What are the things that make time disappear for you? What do you actually enjoy most about life. Seek the answers to these things. Find hobby’s, something to work on mastering, not for any reason but because you enjoy it. I would work out at the gym, mediate journal, read books, but it was all because it was all because someone told me that was what I was supposed to do. I now focus on doing the things I really enjoy, that are also win win. also focus on radical acceptance of things as they are. Seneca said “a man is only as unhappy as he has convinced himself he is”. Obviously you can’t just accept a terrible situation and be totally happy, but there is something to be said about just enduring suffering with no resistance, knowing all will pass at some point.

@pablo_aka_god Im not saying don’t talk to new girls. I’m just saying the whole paradigm of “cold approach”, does guys more harm than good. instead be a social guy. Pick up turns getting laid into some complex puzzle. I’ve also never got laid thru social circle. I got laid thru being social, and being natural. yes be highly social and talk to new people, but remove the paradigm of pickup.

Why do you think the guys who are actually getting laid don’t need to do thousands of “approaches”. It’s because there is no such thing as “cold approach to them”. Any time I’ve gotten laid, it was never from going out with the intention of “cold approaching” women. It was much more natural. this is what I’m realizing about dating. I was focused on cold approach, but that is completely unnatural to approach thousands of girls. go to party’s and socialize. Do social activities that are social. Talk to the person next to you in line, elevator, bus. If you feel called to say hi to someone say hi. It should feel light and natural, with a small level of tension. the other day I did this. I ended up going on a date with her, then taking her home and sleeping with her. All of this dating content is doing more harm than good, as your interaction with a women is completely natural and intuitive. You don’t need to force yourself to go to a mall just to cold approach women.

Can you give some more context or backstory. I know from experience that people don’t just randomly scream, pull guns, or call the police. I approached thousands of people at my sales job and only had the cops called once. How are you approaching these girls?

@flowboy How about a strategy where I am social with everyone, aswell as approaching girls? Being more indirect when I approach "Hey I know this is random, I just wanted to come say hi and meet you", and then going for the date if I can tell she's into me, if not I dont push for it, but just say "i throw parties at my place, you should come. Bring a friend". We already throw lit parties at my crib, but my roommate is the organizer who invites everyone so I don't get laid from it. Its hard because we only throw these parties once a semester because we get the cops called on us, and it makes a mess out of our place. I would probably need something else I can invite people to. I need a strategy to meet all these guys and girls I will invite to these gatherings. There are 40k students here, and hot girls everywhere and it feels like a waste if I don't meet them. Just meeting people in my classes or extracurriculars is not a good strategy for me either, because the volume isn't there. I simply lack the experience of flirting with girls and need more exposure. I need a way to direct this relentless drive I have to approach and talk to shit tons of people, and use it in a way that I am just known as the social, extroverted guy, as opposed to it being weird.

I spent the last 3 months doing hardcore door to door sales as my college internship. Knocking doors 6 days a week, sometimes 10 hours a day, selling smarthomes for vivint We used extreme techniques including knocking the same door 20 times thru the week until someone answered. Knocking when it was pitch black, aswell as pitching people until they basically told you to leave. I talked to thousands of people. By the end of the summer I was an utter savage, and had absolutely no fear or hesitation to approach and pitch/ small talk anyone. By the end I was on fire, where in the last week I was the top rookie salesman in the office. There is so much transferable knowledge. you have to be very confident, social, lead, aswell as be very assumption and escalate. On top of this I saw how how I turned from a terrible salesman to a bad ass salesman within my months just through shear experience, repetition, and persistence (knocked on 600 doors before getting a deal) I returned back to college, yet still feel like I can’t approach women. It was easy in sales because I had permission and I was in Colorado where I didn’t care what anyone thought. I feel if I could apply my sales skills to approaching It would be insane but I just feel stuck. My approach skills are insane, but it’s just a completely different context and situation. I feel it’s weird for me to approach on campus and that I’m not allowed to. I'm at the point of saying fuck what everyone on this campus thinks is me, and just approach whatever girl I want, even if I develop a reputation.

I went through a break up recently. The most important steps to take are to get yourself back to an emotionally attractive state. Take a dance class, or boxing, or something that you enjoy that challenges you. Get proof that other women are attracted to you. Meet new people, have new experiences. Gain optimism about your future with other women. Get over any delusions that she was special or the one. List all of her flaws and reasons she wasn’t right for you. Make a list of all the reasons you are value. Approach new women.

I’m looking to go into business. I feel I may have a very good business idea, but lack the knowledge on how to make it tangible. I want to escape the realm on having an abstract idea as fast as possible and start to take massive action to make it a reality. I just feel so inspired. Like my mind is being flooded with thousands of ideas, and it’s all I can think about. I really think I can take this idea and provide a lot of value to people, but again lack any solid business knowledge and I want my business to be very deep rooted and build on a solid foundation. Right now I’m in the domain of naive optimism, but don’t want to be just another kid with fantasies that never become actualized. does anyone know of good courses on bootstrapping a business?

@hyruga @Michael569 @Dauntment Thank You!

@Schizophonia thank you

answers any below that you can White or brown rice? is raw ginger good for you? is kombucha good for you? what are the most important supplements to take? best book to read on nutrition?

@Schizophonia this a a pointless response that provides no value, I asked the questions for a reason @Ajax thank you very much

@Kalki Avatar I met her through college in one of my classes. I broke up with her because we couldn't have sex for health reasons she had. I also just felt like I am still really younger and want to date around more, and she was the type of girl that would have just married me. Your right, she had many sides to her, she wasn't always super sweet and kind, but I'm just talking overall. If you're looking for a perfect girl, you will be looking for a while. I generally believe there are multiple versions of the same girl, and if you are maintaining the relationship properly you will get the best version of that girl. That's just how life works though, you will lose your girl of 10 years if you stop doing the things that make her feel loved, and you stop showing up as a man. Arent we all?

@BlessedLion I definitely agree with that, the only thing is when I’m tripping alone I feel like it’s easier for me to go to a dark place then when I’m with people. Same thing with being outside versus just cooped up in my room @M A J I Ocean city is definitely not the first thing I think of when you say “secluded” haha

It's been almost a year since my last trip, and I've been waiting for the perfect time. Me and my best friends are going on a trip to Ocean City New Jersey right after our semester ends, and my friends insisted on taking them together on the beach. I feel like it would be nice being out in nature, and also tripping with my best friends, but at the same time am not sure if its a good idea to do them outside. does anyone have experience tripping outside or with friends? the most I've done is 1.5 grams and am looking to go deeper and have a mind blowing experience this time. I was thinking around 2.5 grams.

I'm currently going into my junior year at college and I know what its like to feel like schoolwork is pointless and you aren't interested in it at all. I started to almost treat it like a game. How interested can I be in this? I also see it as an opportunity to develop my focusing abilities. Your ability to be lazar focused and productive is a muscle that you grow by exercising it. make it a challenge to be genuinely curious and feel appreciation for topics you feel are boring. You'll find that almost any topic can be engaging if you put all your heart and attention into it. I started taking pride in my work, performing at the top of my classes, genuinely learning the material, and even going above and beyond to ask questions. you can start to take pride in producing excellent work, even in subjects you aren't really interested in.

@M A J I i did a 21 day water fast with Loren lockmen. I was promised by the end of refeeding I would feel amazing and my body would be detoxed. I was promised I wouldn’t be hungry and my back pain would be gone. All promises were empty. I was constantly hungry on the raw vegan diet. I felt terribly depressed. I was promised the fast and the raw vegan diet would hydrate me, when I reality I got terrible rashes to the point my skin was bleeding, and I was actually dehydrated. My friends all said I wasn’t acting like myself, and I looked like I was dying. maybe I quit too early, all I know is it was hell and to me not worth it.

I ran into actualized when I was a 17, and started binge-watching a ton of his content aswell as a ton of other creators. I was honestly was so obsessed. I was addicted to weed and vaping and was very undisciplined and unmotivated. Im not attributing any of my growth to leo or his videos, and I don't identify with Actualized.org. I have since unwired all of my addictions to substances, and am a lot more disciplined and focused. I started working on my dating life, as I was an awkward virgin with no hope. I spent thousands on dating workshops, and pushed my comfort zone socially through my first years at college. I started going on dates, and had my first relationship. I made a ton of friends in college and became much more social, and confident. I also developed my sense of humor a significant amount. I learned how to discipline myself, and have self control to where I can be very productive. THe problem I ran into was that I achieved a high level of self discipline, and was still unhappy. I could be doing everything I thought was "right" from the moment I woke up, until I went to sleep. Taking cold showers, meditating, reading, journaling, going to the gym, etc. I even ended up doing a 21 day fast, and ate a very strict diet afterwards. Im now going through a process of self discovery, finding out what it is that makes me happy and that I enjoy. I thought being very disciplined and doing all the things a self help book told me to do would make me happy, but it didn't. I will say I had to spend a lot of time unwiring a lot of the toxic mindsets I picked up from self help. After all, some of the most developed people I know don't read self help books. At this point I'm really just trying to relax and enjoy my life, and try and find the things that make me happy.

Even though you don't want to do manual labor forever, can't you just use it as an intermediate step? Sure the living situation might not be ideal, and it may not be the job you want, but I feel sometimes you have to go through a period of doing things that aren't 100% optimal to get what you want. Do you think moving to Holland would be moving you more towards where you want to take your life?