Heinrich Faust

Let’s discuss the spiral stage of some European far-left parties! I’m especially interested in Die Linke, Sinn Féin and some left-wing populists. Some general comments on terms Since this is a thread about European politics, please avoid understanding and using "liberal" in the American sense as "social liberal" or "modern liberal" (like "progressive"). Please think of and use "liberal" in the British sense as "classical liberal" (like "capitalist"). The same goes for other terms that carry a slightly different connotation in America. Also note that there are several right-wing "Liberal Parties" throughout Europe, which might be otherwise classified as conservative or nationalistic. I use "communist" only for stage blue entities. Furthermore, I call the whole Eastern bloc "communist", even if the self-description might be "socialist". Please keep in mind that some abbreviations can refer to various parties in different countries. I’ll try my best to avoid misunderstandings. Europe’s general political constellation It’s quite easy to group the array of political parties to an international family of sister parties: Neo-fascist parties (blue-red) E.g. British National Party, NPD, Fratelli d’Italia, L’SNS, or Jobbik. Traditional Nationalists (blue) E.g. UKIP, RN (former FN), Vlaams Belang, FPÖ. Usually trying to represent the man in the street with a quite socialistic vibe, but not clear to distinguish from the following.. National conservatives and right-wing populists, often with a liberal economical manifesto (blue-orange) ACRE, Dansk Folkeparti, PVV, N-VA, AfD, SVP, Lega, Fidesz, Czech SPD, PiS… These parties can also attract red and orange people who actually aren’t that conservative. The typical conservatives (orange-blue) E.g. EPP, the Tories, FG, the French Republicans, Forza Italia, PP, PSD, New Dimokratia, PNL, PO. These are often big catch-all parties with a wide range. The best example would be the officially conservative CDU in Germany with Angela Merkel, who is quite green. Classical liberal parties (orange) ALDE, Lib Dems, LREM, Ciudadanos, FDP… Some of them tend to open up towards green, while others try to attract blue voters, too. Social democrats and socialists (green-orange-blue) SPE, Labour, PD, and lots of parties containing an S. Usually, they have a long history all the way back to the working-class movement. Some still preserve blue roots. I find these difficult to classify because to me their programmes seem to be much more progressive than most of their voters. Also, many of them seem to have fewer reservations towards blue parties than one could think. And not just towards left-wing blue, there are popular examples for coalitions with right-wing blue parties as well, e.g. in Austria (SPÖ-FPÖ) or in Slovakia (Fico and the SNS). Especially in Eastern Europe, there’s a lot of corruption going on in centre-left parties and many of them have strong blue elements, too. The most remarkable example is the very blue BSP in Bulgaria, formed directly out of the ruling party of the communist era. It’s mainly the Western European social democrats and socialists which are green-orange, and even they often have blue shadows. The Green Parties (green) As green as their name, and usually the only parties with a mainly green electorate. The far-left (green and blue) These are the parties we want to talk about here. In a conventional, non-spiral approach they are often considered to be similar and many of them are part of the GUE/NGL in the EP. They are usually just distinguished on how left-wing they are, but never if they are pre-capitalist (blue) or post-capitalist (green). Even themselves usually see all far-left parties as comrades and sometimes have hard times understanding why e.g. their Greek sister party forms a coalition with the far-right. All far-left parties tend to be attractive for stage red voters who want to milk the social welfare state. Blue examples include most communist and working-class parties. A good green example are the Scandinavian leftists like Sosialistisk Venstreparti, Vänsterpartiet and Enhedslisten. Some interesting case studies Die Linke After the cease of the Eastern bloc (stage blue) one-party systems, most of the former ruling parties didn’t just vanish, but instead tried to integrate into the new democratic system, some more successful than others. E.g. the former BKP, now BSP, is still dominating Bulgaria’s political system. A similar case happened in the former GDR, where the old ruling party SED changed names to PDS and became part of the party spectrum. Over time, the old communist politicians became less, the name was changed to Die Linke, the party established in Western Germany as well, the content became more stage green, and now, the party is turning more and more into an equal part of the progressive part of the spectrum building coalitions with the Social Democrats and the Greens, similar to the habits in Scandinavian countries. It’s also helpful to observe the relationship to and evolution of smaller allied parties like Austrian KPÖ or Federal German DKP. So on one hand, there’s lots of stage green stuff going on within Die Linke. On the other hand, there are clearly stage blue elements, too. First of all, the voters! Many of the politicians and members might be intellectual green people, the electorate tend to be more stage blue. Another thing is the ongoing missing of distance to their history as ruling party of a blue dictatorship. There’s still a lot of sympathy for the old SED and both, the elite and the base, having issues to acknowledge the GDR as an Unrechtsstaat. Of course, this alienates some truly green people who otherwise might be attracted by the modern socialist ideas. There’s also an ongoing support for Putin and Russia, like in most European (both left-wing and right-wing) stage blue parties. Sinn Féin At first sight, SF is a quite stage blue socialist, nationalist and Catholic party. However, they integrate more and more modern stage green elements as well, e.g. green energy. For me, it’s hard to tell, whether they’re just focussing on blue topics to attract more voters or they actually are that blue with some random green peaks. A similar case are the Basque EH Bildu. A different, but also interesting, case is the centre-left Scottish Nationalist Party. Southern European left-wing populists Let’s take a closer look at parties like La France Insoumise, Podemos, and Syriza! Movimento 5 Stelle is also a remarkable player in that category, even though far too liberal to be considered as far-left. I would rather call it a centre-left populist catch-all party which is mainly stage orange. However, there are obvious similarities to other Southern European left-wing populists, and maybe we can find an answer whether M5S is more orange-blue or more orange-green. The main green aspects of all these parties are their fight against corruption, and commitment for ecology and environmental protection. Common blue aspects include their EU-sceptic, anti-globalist, pro-Russian positions. We should also mention the pan-populist coalitions with the far-right (Syriza with ANEL in 2015, M5S with LN in 2018). These are some of my thoughts. I’m looking forward to reading some opinions on this topic. Please share your insights and knowledge about the European far-left, and let us all together elaborate a profound picture of such parties and their spiral stage. The Far-Left outside of Europe While there's a bigger or smaller far-left party in most European countries, in other developed Western democracies (Israel, US, Canada, Australia, New Zealand) far-left parties never established. This might be accidental; there might be a reason for that. In East Asia, there are small far-left parties like the Japanese Communist Party or the Minjung Party in South Korea. Both seem quite stage blue to me. If someone in here is familiar with Japanese or South Korean domestic politics, please feel free to share your views on this as well.

5th Trip Report (75 µg AL-LAD) Like usual, I took half a blotter of AL-LAD at 15:05. However, everything else was quite unusual: I hadn't deeply meditated for quite a long time, and I was quite stressed. So this trip was more a try to calm down my mind. Also, I felt a bit urged to take a trip after a whole month break. I didn't manage to take a whole day off for this trip and after postponing it 2 times, I just decided to push through anyway. I had a subtle headache that day. Afraid of a heavy hangover, I ate an extra portion of ginger. The previous 4 trips, my visions were quite cosmic. If you've tripped before, you probably know what I mean. This time, however, the pictures entering my mind were far more terrestrial. It just felt like a brachiosaurus.

Well, only if you live in a fitting stage blue environment. Practising blue spirituality in an orange or green environment is rough, too. Actually, it is the last week of the Christian Lenten season right now. Even one day water fasting is an achievement and healthy to the body.

4th Trip Report (75 µg AL-LAD) Setting Yesterday, I was fasting. Just water and a little ginger water… When I went to bed, I felt totally knackered. I woke up 2 times during the night, and the second time, it was hard to get back to sleep. My body felt really uncomfortable. When I woke up late in the morning, it wasn't much better. Actually, I wanted to take the AL-LAD on a totally empty stomach. Since I felt like a ghost and hardly could move myself out of the bed, I gave up on that idea and blundered to the kitchen instead. Frozen vegetables with a curry sauce. And some ginger, of course! After my meal and some coconut milk with blueberries for the desert, I felt better. It was far from great, but I felt kind of okay. At 15:29, I took half a blotter of AL-LAD, still feeling kind of okay. This time, my flatmates were at home and talking, so I decided to get a musical backdrop. I sat down and meditated nearly half an hour. It was easier than usually during the trip. Goal I'm a recovering perfectionist. Some days ago, I watched Leo's amazing video on that topic: The day before yesterday, I was standing in the middle of the shopping centre and something was dragging my thoughts back to the video content. Why couldn't I just accept reality as it is? Well, why indeed? I never thought about this. So, could I just accept reality as it is? Um, why not? And so, I just accepted reality as it is — just like that, from one moment to the other. I never imagined, that could be such easy! It was like a little awakening. A pony enlightenment! I could relieve lots of tension, too, both bodily and mental tension. So, my main goal for this trip was to brace that acceptance. I finally want to break free from this djävla perfectionism that sabotages so many parts of my life. Procedure My body was still weak, so I spent most of the trip in my bed. There's not much to report. I drank a cup of ginger water or two, hence called the bathroom twice, and I'm pretty sure that I nodded off for some minutes. This time, I wanted to concentrate on the experience, instead of trying to remember a lot. Insights It somehow must have worked because I don't remember much. The music was kind of shamanic, and I imagined myself being in a village in the rain forest. I tried to live through the life of a young man in some third-world country. Later, my body changed its appearance into all kinds of other people, mainly women. I zapped through random life events and tried to see them all from a perspective of acceptance. Coming from my past memories, I ended up in my future plans. There's still something inside me skiving off finding a real life purpose. The trip took me back to my past. However, my background changed. Now, I was this coloured, non-Germanic immigrant boy trying to find identity. Would my life have gone differently? Better, worse… hard to tell. And hard to stay focused… A cute girl's face appeared in front of my mind's eye. First, I didn't pay much attention to her. But she stayed there. Unless most other visuals, she didn't just disappear. She stayed for several minutes, constantly looking at me. I wanted to open up towards her, but there was an inner block. Unfortunately, I failed to identify this block. I just know that removing this block would drastically improve my relationship to people. Highlight Actually, I'm not that much into the deep stuff yet, like “What is reality?” But I started to contemplate a bit, just for fun. I knew the answer from Leo's videos. And then, I also could feel like everything is just consciousness. Even half of my body was gone. It just stayed for some moments and I even forgot about it later. So, this also illustrates to me the importance of writing down these experiences. Come off I was hungry as a horse. I also wanted to avoid a headache due to lack of nutrients. So, just after 6, I got some healthy food, mainly fruits and coconut milk. And I couldn't stop devouring all these tasty things… When I finally finished, I was pigged out and still a bit hungry at the same time. After cleaning up the kitchen, I went for a little walk. I had a minor stomachache. Anyway, I blame the fast-breaking for that, not the AL-LAD, because I didn't feel nauseous at all. So, thanks again for the ginger tip! And thank you for reading, and I'm looking forward to my breakfast tomorrow.

There are so many articles about free radicals on the web, e.g: https://www.livescience.com/54901-free-radicals.html

@Eren Eeager They ship worldwide.

@SgtPepper I would stick with a fluid vitamin D supplement. Cod liver oil usually is contaminated by environmental toxins from the sea, like mercury. In addition, it's rancid. This is not just disgusting, the rancidness are actually free radicals. And if you take too much of it, you risk a grave vitamin A overdose. That's not a funny thing: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypervitaminosis_A

Any interim results so far? I'm curious to hear your recommendation.

Hi, psychedelics community! And big thanks to all the great information shared! Without Leo and the other experts and trip reporters here, I wouldn't have discovered this field for me. So far, I had 2 trips, both on AL-LAD (50 resp. 75 µg). Comparing my experience to trip reports on this forum, I'd estimate, my body has an average tolerance, however, I'm not sure about this. Both trips had roughly the same course: The 1st hour, the trips began very smoothly and subtle; the 2nd hour, the substance took full effect and I felt great; the 3rd hour, the trips slowly flipped; and from the 4th hour on, I just felt dizzy, ill, and sometimes nauseous. After sleeping, I felt quite normal again, however, there was a sensitivity staying for a day or two. I was more sensitive towards disturbing noises, uncomfortable body sensations, and overeating. Since I've never stumbled upon such a thing in the trip reports I've read, I suggest that this is not normal. I'm thankful for any opinions or advise you can share. You can also find the full trip reports in my trip journal:

I think, they mostly review the average supplements which are not very bioactive and stuff. Additional to the points already mentioned, you have to take into account the special situation in Germany. I don't know any other country where it is so cheap and easy to source supplements like in Germany/Austria. You have these huge chemist's chains (DM, Rossmann, Budni, Müller, BIPA) with literally hundreds of supplements at ridiculously low prices. That itself is a nice thing. E.g., in Sweden, you get such stuff only at the pharmacy and pay five times what you would at a German chemist's. The downside is, most of it is not of the best quality, and most people probably have no clue what they actually need and consume whatever sounds good to them. And, of course, nearly no-one takes into account various interactions of different supplements. Btw, here's a German article on that: https://www.pharmazeutische-zeitung.de/inhalt-03-2004/pharm1-03-2004/ It's rather old, but it explains some pitfalls, and why supplementation often fails for the average punter.

And they'll naturally become stronger with the growing stage yellow electoral in green countries like the Netherlands or Germany. Btw, let's build an Actualized.org Party! Who's in?

11:19! VVD, D66, PvdA, GL, Volt — that would be the most progressive coalition ever.

That's mostly due to the American winner-takes-all system. In the Netherlands it's quite easy for small parties to win a seat or two because of the proportional system: You got 2.4 %? Great, 3 of the 150 seats are yours! In Germany, it will be much more difficult for them because most German parliaments have an election threshold. In the federal elections, parties with less than 5 % of the votes don't get any seats. However, Volt already won one of the German EP seats in 2019 and has seats in several municipal councils, mostly in cities. In the councils of Munich, Cologne, Bonn, and Münster, Volt is even part of the government coalition. Last week, they got 7 % in Darmstadt. That's 5 of the 71 seats, which is the biggest electoral success so far. I don't know anything about Volt in Hungary and didn't find anything, either. Are you maybe talking about Bulgaria? They have some scattered seats in Bulgarian city councils and are going to join a coalition list for the national elections. So, there's a bit of a chance to get a seat there, too — which is remarkable because Bulgaria is quite stage blue.

Have you watched all of Leo's Spiral Dynamics videos? If not, go and do that first. (You can skip the stages more than one above your current one.) I think he explained very well what to integrate on every stage and how to transcend the same. When you've detected a particular field you should improve yourself, go for it and learn more about it. When you've mastered every piece of a stage, it may be time to target the next one. Also, make sure that you've fully integrated the lower stages purple, red, and blue.

Congratulations on your wedding! And congrats that you could make such a grave decision! After reading your first post, I understood you like that you were just breaking out of the social or cultural bias which marriage is to most people. After reading your second post, I'm wondering whether you want to get rid of the concept of a relationship, or if you have the feeling that men and sexuality in general are redundant baggage on your way to your life purpose.

3rd Trip Report (75 µg AL-LAD) After my previous trips both ended with a serious hangover already in the middle of the trip, this time, I followed Leo's advice taking ginger pills beforehand. I just substituted the ginger pills with… well, ginger. At 14:23, I put the blotter under my tongue. Five minutes later, I risked laying down on my bed and nodding off. I'm not sure whether I really slept, but I did awake with a start at 14:39. The trip was about to begin, and I tried to meditate a bit, first sitting, then lying down. But the more the AL-LAD took effect, the more I got lost in the trip. It's hard to reconstruct what happened the next 2 hours. While I spent the past 2 trips mainly with lying about, I was much more active during this trip. I was swaying, I was dancing, I was thrumming. At one point, I even was hopping about on my bed. I was in an avant-garde nightclub and moving in time with the music in my mind's ear. In my past 2 trips, I had songs I listened to before stuck in my head. This trip's earworm, however, was a melody I've never heard before and which I can't remember any more. While dancing, my appearance changed. I turned into a woman, then into another and another. After some time, I noticed that I turned into women and queers only, never into men. I tried to turn into a man on purpose. Didn't work. Interesting! Speaking of women, there was also an occasion I could switch how I looked at women, either judging on their looks, or not. The interesting thing was how heavily I could feel the low energy of myself looking at a woman and feeling the need to get close to her just based on her looks. This “night out” definitely opened up my horizon. I've never been into going out, loud music, dancing, alcohol and drugs. If you met me in a club, then either picking up girls, or being bored out of my brains. Now, I could relive what the party people seem to experience on the dance floor. Also, this broadened my empathy towards queer people. At some point during the trip, my feet needed some stimulation. The best thing would be to walk barefoot over gravel. I put on my jacket, didn't put on my shoes, and went down to the curtilage. In want of gravel, I walked with my bar feet over the grit that was still lying there against black ice. After a minute, my feet began to freeze, and I went back inside. I still enjoyed standing on the prickly doormat. After a while, however, I went upstairs into the flat because I didn't want to meet any of the neighbours at that moment. It was 17:07. The party was over, I thought because judging from my past trips, I would start feeling sick soon and fall back to earth. I had even planned to join an online meeting to get myself distracted. So, I turned on my phone. 1 unread message(s)… My friend had to cancel the meeting due to a tragic occurrence in his family. Wow! I didn't know what to say… On AL-LAD, it's relatively easy to ponder over death. I imagined my own death and my mother's death, and it all felt very easy. I wished, I could share my calm state with him. It was getting close to 6. I was continuing my trip and no signs of sickness… Thank you, ginger! I was lying prone on my bed and wanted to encourage my body to heal itself. My thoughts were muddled. At 18:18, I was exhausted and hungry. I had some prepped food on the cooker. But when I turned on the hob, I felt like eating some fruits instead, and postponing the meal. I wanted to get out of the flat, so I decided to go for a stroll between fruits and dinner. It was already after 7, when I left the house. Right behind of the building, there are stairs up to a hill. And, believe it or not, all the months I lived here, I've never ever gone upstairs and checked it out. But now's the time! And there was a magnificent view over the harbour up there. Some guy was sitting there and talking on the phone in a foreign language. First, I didn't notice when he suddenly started talking to me, and unintentionally ignored him. But he was trying hard to get my attention. Wow! It doesn't often happen that a random guy interrupts his phone call to chitchat with me. I guess, we can accredit this to my AL-LAD aura. (The next day, I got approached by some youngsters on the street again, by the way.) While continuing my pootle, I was trying some walking meditation. It was easy to become present, and it was easy to get distracted, too. When I came home, it was nearly 9. I turned on the cooker and considered what to do while eating. I needed some distraction. One of Leo's videos would be too much to digest in that situation. A film, on the other hand, might be too unsettling in that state. YouTube recommended me a 2-hour-talk between Sadhguru and an American neuroscientist. Great! That's lagom, as we say in Swedish. Thoughts on future trips During this trip, I also thought about how to deal with psychedelics in the future. At the moment, one trip per week is lagom. In the midterm, however, I'll probably downgrade to a trip every other week. I just don't want to risk becoming tolerant to these substances. Therefore, I'm also going to introduce more psychedelics soon. Alternating the substances should help to prevent a tolerance. Moreover, this rapid heartbeat for hours doesn't feel healthy, either. I've read threads about micro-dosing, too. Considering the concerns above, I don't want to try it. The next time, I'll rather continue with weekly or biweekly medium-dosing. And, of course, some ginger before, during, and after the trips!

Well, it's just important to get a real understanding for the different stages. This thread will hopefully help to get a better understanding of stage red.

Alexander is a great(!) example for stage red. Also, his empire fell apart after his death. That's typical to stage red. A blue empire would have a firm infrastructure and a hierarchy to find a new leader. Another interesting feature of stage red: killing bearers of bad news.

Let's canvas "discipline" a bit more! You're using it as "perseverance". That's a very red virtue. However, the stage blue definition of "discipline" is more "restraining oneself". And there's no such a thing in neither red, nor purple. Stage red and stage purple people just didn't cultivate the ability to check themselves. When they get angry, they become aggressive. When they get horny, they become molesting. Both, Saddam Hussein and Alexander the Great were very purely stage red. When they got angry at someone, they just killed him. Stage red keeps itself in power through violence. Stage blue keeps itself in power through law and order.

It's kind of the only party with a significant portion of stage yellow.

Spiral stages of Dutch parties from my point of view Green-yellow: Volt Green: GL, PvdD, De Groenen Green-orange: Piratenpartij Green-orange-blue: PvdA Green-blue: SP, BIJ1, U-Buntu Connected Front Orange-green: D66 Orange: LP, Henk Krol, DFP, Modern Nederland Orange-blue: VVD, CDA, 50+, JA21, Code Oranje Blue-orange: PVV, CU, Denk, FvD, NIDA, TROTS Blue: SGP, Jezus Leeft, Partij van de Eenheid Blue-red: Wij zijn Nederland

Religion and nationalism are often a good match because they both attract stage blue people.

2nd Trip Report (75 µg AL-LAD) I finished my big breakfast before noon, so, when I took about half of a blotter AL-LAD at 16:25, my stomach should have been empty again. I reminded myself of the intent of this trip: to become a more loving being, raising my empathy, just becoming more stage green. From what I heard, AL-LAD should be a great choice for that. At 16:48, I felt the trip had begun. I strolled to the sitting room to settle myself on an armchair and meditate a bit. Remember my flatmate? I've neither talked to him nor seen him for 5 days, since my last trip. And just at that moment he entered the (dark) sitting room to restart the router! He didn't want to disturb me. It was much more me who felt like having a one-minute small talk. I felt very sociable at that moment. A little later, I wanted to lay down and returned to my room. The AL-LAD was really kicking in now. The visuals became a bit stronger and much more volatile than what I usually see during meditations. I wanted to help my body getting rid of several chronic psychosomatic issues I'm dealing with and started some TRE jerks. I got some disgusting visuals from time to time and tried to surrender to the experience anyway. Since I wanted to become more loving, I tried to honour everything with love. The following hour was more intense than my first trip. I felt a quite consistent love, everything else, however, was swirling: thoughts, visuals, feelings, movements… I couldn't even take oath that I didn't have blackouts or crashed out in between. Even though, I don't remember everything what happened, I remember my favourite experience during this trip. There's a girl I met last year who is kind of my dream girl (or, at least, I wanted her to be). Long story short, I over-egged the pudding and lost her — even 3 times! So, as you might be able to relate to, there's still this needy hope inside me, there could be a 4th chance for some future between us. And this is not just annoying, this is also the biggest hindrance for such a future. So, during the trip, I wanted to challenge myself and see if I can accept this situation with love. I could. I totally could! There was a stylised bird, black and white, rising out of my chest, looping around me, and flying away. This was such a cathartic event. I felt totally liberated, redeemed and light. Of course, this state didn't persist in a whole, but even now, 2 days later, I still feel less contraction regarding that topic. I checked the time at 18:18. The trip was still going on, I was still lying on my bed, my shoulders were still jerking. I was exhausted and just wanted to have a rest. Just a one-hour break, you know? At least, I tried to relax my body and stop these jävla jerks. I failed. Vad fan! The past two hours were a jolly good time, but now I felt more and more between a rock and a hard place. And I got hungry. Well, I yielded up to my fate and tried to continue with my trip as if nothing was going on. But soon, I didn't just need a lavatory and something to wrap my laughing gear around, I also became dizzy. Då så, let's start with the lavatory! Finally in the bathroom, I was thinking about my dinner. I hadn't even prepared something because I wanted to eat fruits only. But I was hungry. Fan också, I really felt ill. Cutting some fruits at the kitchen table, I felt like bearing the tea break of a Vipassana course: haggard, hungry, only allowed eating fruits, and still 5 hard hours upcoming. At least, my jerking shoulders were calming down. There's a little bit of breakfast leftovers in the fridge. Why not? At least, they didn't make me feel worse. My other flatmate came home and entered the kitchen. “You look a bit ill”. Well, if it's just a bit… Back in my room, I decided to hit the pillow. I brushed my teeth, put on some Reiki music and sank down on my bed. Jag är alldeles slut. Slowly, I fell into a little meditative state again, got some visuals, and experienced even a very interesting feeling of lying in pure nothing for a moment. I couldn't sleep. It took some time before I noticed how oversensitive I had become. The crackle of the loudspeakers was hacking me off; my flatmate's TV was hacking me off; the street was hacking me off. And I constantly had to change my lying posture because there always was a part of the body feeling really uncomfortable. A minor tension in the upper back even managed to prevent me from sleeping for more than 2 hours. I finally fell asleep shortly after midnight.

1st Trip Report (50 µg AL-LAD) I brought myself in a good state first. At 15:37 I took around 1/3 blotter AL-LAD. I expected to feel the first effects after 20-30 minutes, so I started a playlist of 25 minutes inspiring music and did some meditative practice. Already after 10 minutes, I felt like being in the middle of a huge Hippie festival surrounded by hundreds of friendly-minded people who would accept me however I'd be. Fifteen minutes after taking the blotter, I shed some tears of joy. It really felt like I'm going to visit Heaven. Expecting a potential bigger kick in, I sat down when the music turned off. I tried to meditate, but it was hard to focus on that. The feeling of joy and love was gone. My mind was kind of unsettled but apart from that I didn't really feel anything special. My closed eyes could see various visuals, I often see through meditation as well. From time to time I could see some unpleasant pictures as well. I think, I got a subtle glimpse of what a bad trip could be like. Since body and mind were unsettled, I gave up on my try to meditate, and started walking around the flat. What do you actually do during a trip? However, I felt better and better. Everything was… just beautiful. I somehow felt a 10-minute-nap might be a good idea. I have quite vivid dreams during naps and was curious how the AL-LAD would affect that. And it was mind-blowing! I just remember falling around between different states of consciousness several times (probably all part of my dream) and waking up and checking the time at 16:48. Obviously, I was awake by that time, but somehow it felt like still in a dream. I was totally stoned. I was just lying there and laughing. It took several attempts to get up. I got the spontaneous feeling, I should potter with lucid dreaming in the future. When I attempted to take a note on that, every letter to write became a little challenge. I was totally stoned. I traipsed to the living room and marvelled at different objects just enjoying reality. There was one object that caught my attention over everything else: my flatmate's little Orthodox eikon. It was not the Holy Mary who attracted me, but the elaborated frames surrounding her. In my psychedelic state, they became a quite trippy appearance — I doubt that's an accident. My mind became a bit philosophical on the similarity to Hindu eikons. I was hungry. I didn't eat much that day because I wanted my stomach to be empty when taking the AL-LAD. Although I had prepared a huge salad in the morning, I suddenly hungered after an orange. So, I sat down at the kitchen table, next to my salad, and started to peel an orange with my shaky fingers. (I think it was wise to do without a knife.) While dealing with this piece of fruit my otherwise quite taciturn flatmate bumped from his two-week-holiday directly into the kitchen and began some small talk. One minute later, he left the kitchen and I suddenly felt like eating that salad next to me. While eating, my trip became weaker and weaker. Usually, I would have eaten the whole bowl, but the AL-LAD kind of stopped me from stuffing myself. But my body wasn't satisfied yet, and craving for some fat. So, I quickly prepared a desert out of coconut milk and blueberries. Already while eating I felt more and more sick. Furthermore, the tripping feeling was nearly gone, and I was kind of back in my everyday me. After some more spoonfuls, I finally convinced myself to put the remaining desert into the fridge instead of my stomach. I laid down on my bed. It was not just this bellyache… my head became giddy, too. It was 18:30, all elation was out of the window, my body was feeling ill, and my mind was starting to hack me off. While lying there, I was getting more and more uncomfortable being in the flat. After some back and forth, I put on my shoes and took a walk to the shopping mall around the corner. The shops were just about to close. I was spooking around among the last customers and trying to detect, what was actually going wrong here. I went next door to the train station. In front of me rushed a girl with heavy shopping bags. She was cute, and I was curious about how she would react to that guy who just came back from Heaven with stomachache. “Hi!” I think the way she looked at me was confused. I got confused, too. “What are you doing?” — “Nothing.” And she went off to her train. Surprisingly, my bellyache was gone after this failed flirt. I sat down on a bench. I was changing at ten second intervals from good to normal to nauseous. For a better meditation atmosphere I moved to a bench in a quieter area of the station. And for the first time since I took the blotter I succeeded to get into a meditative state, and meditated from 19:15 to 19:35. Then I went home and prepared this report. What to try next time Higher dosage (75 µg) Having a good breakfast before the trip and during the trip just fruits Eating very consciously Some plan what to do during the trip Feel free to leave your comments!