Miguel1

There are plenty of mature and older women out there that I meet and want to pursue dating with me. I can’t find them attractive, no matter how much I try (not assuming your wife is older).

Yes of course. This is just not supposed to be a fix-it-all thread. Just a place to be a bit more vulnerable and open, than usual.

For me, dating is extremely hard because I am used to the best looking girls. And for the past 5 years that I was in a relationship (and did hardcore actualized work), I grew my emotional and psychological age like 10-20 years at least. Now that I am single, you could say that my emotional and psychological age is of an 40-50 years old’s. Yet, I don’t get attracted to older people, nor younger ones that are not that physically attractive (I am used to the best). So, not only my emtional age is way higher than the girls’ I am attracted to, but also the girls that I am attracted most likely haven’t had to develop themselves psychologically too much (due to being spoiled). Despite all this, my brain is wired for deep intimacy and human connections. And like Natasha said the other day (paraphasing): she needs someone with whom she can have meaningful conversations with. For me to have a proper connection and intimacy with a girl, I need to be attracted to her physically, but also intellectually (to a certain degree). So as a 31 years old, I am looking to find someone who is 24-28 (ideally 24-26), is emotionally relatively mature, doesn’t have much baggage and traumas at all, has secure attachment style, is overall a good human being with a good heart, is capable of relaxing into her feminine with me, and also is wise and intelligent enough to have some meaningful conversations with me here and there — and oh yeah, is also physically quite attractive. If I find a girl who has all these qualities and is ”8/10” attractive, it would be a dream. But it feels like trying to find a unicorn. What makes it harder is how do you attract such a girl? Do you apply your best game to her? Or do you lower your game as much as possible to screen for this girl, because a girl like this would appreciate mature, conscious behaviour, right? At this point in my spiritual and psychological development, applying hard game is exhausting as hell because it is purely dishonesty. My brain chemistry is so wired for honesty and being truthful that going against it feels like pushing a huge rock forward. - - - - - Sorry this turned out to be my release thread. But please, this is not just about me. Feel free to share how is it going with you all? Are you aligned in life? Get in touch with your heart and me know.

Human games. You have been on this forum for over 5 years, you should know. There is a reason, attracting girls is called ”game”. Because you are playing mind games, rather than being truthful and honest. There is a reason why the wisest and most conscious sages are alone. They are not interested in playing human games.

And assumptions ”You seem like you are a squirrel”

@LordFall The problem is that life is too hard to maintain frame all the time. If you date a superficial girl, you cannot offer her perfect life and perfect frame 24/7. A mature girl understands this, and she will appreciate the human in you. Immature ones will only like you for your surface.

Well said. I am happy to see the maturity you express. Dating a woman that is stuck in hypergamy is exhausting and a short-term game. What happens when a ”higher value” than you comes along? And there will be plenty of them. Wasted energy and time.

Hahaha what in the world am I reading. You talk like it’s your first week on actualized.org.

This. Turning girls in finance/crypto spaces into serious consciousness work? We can do better than that with our understanding of human mind.

As Jith pointed out, I am talking purely looks, not personality. I couldn’t even appreciate real beauty by girls, before I matured, and got more abundant with girls.

They are more rare than unicorns. But my God if I had a genius conscious hottie as my girlfriend, escape to live in the middle of nowhere, raise a family and practice spirituality together. Tantra at night. Now this is happiness.

MY GOD, someone fucking said it! Whenever I bring up the topic of me needing my partner to be able to discuss some depth, guys here be like: aS lOnG As sHe iS femIninE, WhT doEs iT mAtTer!!!!!

That’s quite the plot

My requirements for beauty and hotness changed all the time. As I got more and more results with girls in my youth, I constantly remember realizing ”that one girl 6 months ago wasn’t hot at all, what was I thinking”. Also, simply maturity has changed my taste for looks. The more I mature, the more I like natural beauty, elegant, and classy. But I also like artsy and different looking girls, as long as it’s done with taste, and not gone overboard. So yes, my taste definitely has changed a lot throughout the years.

This is a much better place to discuss them more in-depth than the comment section on the platform, naturally. But let us not forget to comment and like the posts so that the algorithm pushes his posts. And for the sake of your own algorithm. I suggest we start the discussions here by first naming the Reel (Leo titles them in the thumbnails in a very cute way), and perhaps even link it, cuz it seems like there will be plenty!

@UnbornTao Alright brother. I’m gonna move on. Cheers Hope ya’ll have kept the quality of the forum going on. Be civil! I won’t be able to be too active the upcoming weeks. Will just mostly read the blog.

I am not sure if Tarion is talking about intelligence here when he talks about smart (haven’t watched the video), but try becoming so intelligent that despite being charismatic as hell and having lots of people in your life, yet feeling more lonely than you have ever felt in your life, because people feel like alien species to you that don’t even speak the same language. Try develoing such emotional and empathetic intelligence that you feel the pain that other people’s unconsciousness creates for themselves.

@UnbornTao Where do you want to lead me to? I am lost.

You are a fool if you don’t see the immense, priceless value of the work here. I haven’t been following what you guys have discussed about cult, as I have been busy with life. So I am out of context, but your comment sounded like it’s shit thrown at Leo’s work.

I’m in tears. The amount of pain I have had to go through since doing Leo’s work seriously (from 2020 onwards), and from facing so much of my own self-deceptions, lies, devilry, manipulation, selfishness. Facing how much pain and hurt I’ve caused in others. In people I loved and held dear. It’s been absolutely devastating. I don’t know if there is a word to describe the pain. And it is still going on. I don’t know if it ever even stops. Every year the quality of the pain deepens. Not only that. My mind is wired to be a people person. I can see how people will get themselves in so much pain because of their unconsciousness and lack of this work. I can meet a girl romantically, be safe for her to be vulnerable to the point she open up to me — and me being vulnerable to her — her crying in my arms.. then leaves me for an unsafe, exciting fuckboy. I can see (and feel) how much pain that will cause her. How badly she will be used and dumped, how worthless she will feel, and how badly she will be hurt. All that makes me feel extremely sad for her. And she is just one of many. And finally, the loneliness this work creates is.. agonizing. Deep.. existencial, pain. I want great people around me. I am the total opposite of an introvert.. Nonetheless, all this deep pain is worth it. It is what is True. It is what will eventually take humanity to a better place. Thank you Leo for the work you do. Without it, I would still be a full-blown spiritual devil. I would probably just have doubled and tripled down on it throughout the years.

I was 17 when I did my first serious mediation retreat. I remember being physically in school but always just meditating. Going home, meditating. Meditating while taking a shit. Meditating to fall asleep. 3 months. I don’t think I’ve ever been anywhere near as happy (blissful) as I was during that time. Eventually my youthful desires and urges took over as I had repressed them for too long, and then went on to conquer those. Ever since then, I’ve had a few of those phases like for example, during covid (it was half-forced tho). I am looking forward for the next phase of that. Perhaps this time I will be able to push it to 6-12 months.

I’ve had over 100 partners. Way more if we are not being humble. Never had any STDs. Not a single one. Instead I got things like angina which was fucking hell for me. Anyways, when I was younger, I even had some sex without condoms that I should never had. Sometimes condoms also broke. And I had too many blowjobs as well. The point is, if you use condom, and basic measures like don’t fuck a girl who looks like they’re full of STDs, you are fine. That being said, I might have something that never just got activated, like herpes.

Since I spent a lot of time writing an answer to a question from @BlessedLion , I decided to copy-paste the answer here as well. Original question: From: My answer: Thanks for asking. This will be a more in-depth answer, simply because I am very passionate about it + I am not fully 100% clear and articulate about it, so I will probably be analyzing somewhat as I write. Short version: I can't, at least yet, put it into a short sentence. But it is something to do with the combination of art, dance, beauty, film (including acting), story-telling, insights, deeper thoughts, philosophy, writing & speaking. ---- Long version with examples: I want to touch people deeply on an emotional level. Inspire them like nothing else. And get them to FEEL deeply & contemplate deep stuff about life. For now, I want to keep it relatively relatable for the mass, so that I can get traction & traffic - but later as I am financially well off, I will go hard into the deepest stuff (as well). The vision is such that I will be at my peak in like 20-30 years, perhaps even later. My dancing might not be as good then anymore but I believe my peak level dancing will be in my 40s, so in a bit over 10 years - so maybe in my 40s and 50s, I will be doing my best work, since dancing will be a huge part of it (as I see it now at least, because that's the unique thing about me that separates me from the rest. More on it later) Here are some examples to get an idea: https://www.instagram.com/p/CygMx_etst5/ For some reason, the music is out of sync when you listen with headphones on phone, but on computer it works fine. On phone, if you don't use headphones, it is better in sync. I hate adding the music on the Instagram app but I have no choice if I want to use copyrighted music. Notice how on Instagram I can use pretty much any song I want without being copyright struck (Instagram music library, which is pretty much Spotify). And I can also write in the caption somewhat in-depth. On YouTube, music usage is very limited (which is probably 50% of my art lol. Need to think more about how much it really is). Plus, writing on description box / comments just doesn't have the same feel as writing on Instagram post captions. Here are some other raw stuff I shot lately: Watch these cuz they will probably be taken down here soon (copyright music) These raw stuff (emotionally & no edits wise) don't have anything else but dancing and they're shot inside. Shooting outside is probably my main thing, that's where probably my best work will be shot (altho I can def see that there's a ton of beauty to be created inside where you have more control over the environment - just require more budget). One problem with shooting inside, especially in my living room lol, is the limited space. As a dancer, the space I have is way too little before I run out of the camera frame. But just to give an idea what my dancing and music choice alone can affect in this vision. Include the rest ''the combination of art, dance, beauty, film (including acting), story-telling, insights, deeper thoughts, philosophy, writing & speaking.'' - And I believe at my peak in a couple of decades, I can create something so hella beautiful, I can't even put it into words... -- Also, I wanted to share these cuz they were shot the other day so they are my most recent dances recorded. Listen to the music carefully, while watching me dance, otherwise you miss a lot of beauty. use headphones & watch full screen, ideally on a bigger screen than phone like laptop & 4k - my dancing style is very subtle and has a lot of details (I wish I had a couple proper moving videographes to catch all the details of my dance), unlike breakdance which is all about big, power moves: ''And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music - Friedrich Nietzsche'' Keep in mind that my dancing & art is a very different side of me that I have not shown on this forum at all really. (I'm glad you asked me the question so that I got the chance to show this side of me as well, which is where I feel most at home... With philosophy & art. My dancing is mostly freestyling / improvisation (more about it later). And it's definitely a bit rusty, since I haven't dance much the past years (more about it later) but I still think it's very good. I can't wait to get to my peak form and especially to my peak dancing abilities. The next one is RAW. Might require some attention span, depending on who watches, but if you want to see me RAW... it has a proper, slow build-up (like any good stories) - and isn't this Instagram straight to the crazy high energy hooky kinda thing. This next one I love so much simply because of the song being called Line of Sight (by Odesza). And look at that damn line of light / sight in my window! So much fucking meaning and beauty in that connection. Last one. This song always makes me emotional. Not that the other ones doesn't. This one has a softness in it. The first, third and fourth videos are music by Odesza. The second one is by a smaller artist called BleedingXHeart. --- As I become more successful, I will have more resources (money) to increase the production level, by a lot! CRAZILY A LOT! Some key points about dancing: My dancing is a style that I've developed my whole life. It is unique to me. The style is very subtle. It's not like breakdance where you have all these big, power moves. My dance is all about the details. It has a bigger picture to it of course but the details are what makes it. I mostly do freestyling. I find it most raw. That's how I can express the most raw emotions. I hate choreographies because after repeating the same ol moves a hundred times, it has completely sucked the emotion out of it. Heck, even repeating it 3 times gets dry. But I do often have like a structure / idea / outline in my freestyles. And definitely something / some message / some emotion that I want to express. Finally, dancing is extremely effortless for me. All these clips were taken in an 1 hour freestyling session. Meaning, I didn't spent any time preparing any choreos for it. And keep in mind, my dancing is rusty, since I've been busy experimenting with other stuff the past years (more below). And I am also nowhere near my peak dancing ability. Perhaps in 10 years. This is why I would say that this is my most unique strength. Or an unfair advantage if you may. It also doesn't hurt that I look beautiful The Instagram post that I shared first is definitely much closer to the vision than these raw dances. Since it has elements of the other parts as well like speaking, writing (both in the video but also in the caption), an insight that I'm sharing, somewhat deeper thoughts in the caption, editing, story etc... But it lacks for example film and acting, and it's very short.. This vision / life purpose is in a way fresh / new for me as I have been spending the past years exploring other stuff like coaching, public speaking, teaching, pure philosophy (too much influence by my past teachers like Osho, Owen Cook, Rupert Spira, Leo etc. & honestly just a lot of spiritual & self-help brainwashing But I've always been deep into this ''fresh'' vision of mine, as you can see in my dancing skills. I have always been into film and beauty as well. Ever since I was a teenager. I just took a break from all of it for the past 3 years to explore the above mentioned. Now I have been able to deconstruct (thanks Leo) so much spiritual & self-help brainwashing that I'm fully ready to get back into it. Feels like I am finally going back home. For example, I used to think that my emotional side was wrong because of spiritual brainwashing. So much beauty and depth was taken away because of it, especially as I am a very emotional being. I used to think that my ambitious side is wrong because desire is suffering!! I didn't even realize how creative I truly am until recently because of all that. Sorry about all the neglecting... my life purpose. My heart is with you fully this time! Don't get me wrong tho, I have learned a ton of wisdom and grown (to a level I would have never been able to without the teachings) from all of the teachings, that I'm going to be using in my vision and life purpose. The issue was that I took the traps of the teachings to my heart as well. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to write all these and share it with ya'll. I have wanted to but I haven't been sure where - also just haven't been this clear about the vision as well. Honestly, I kinda want to copy-paste this and make a whole new post sharing it somewhere so as many people sees, but I don't know if I can really do it anywhere. Perhaps in the Life Purpose sub-forum. Maybe as an Inspiration (excuse ) for others. But actually, it kinda can be very inspiring! --- --- --- I'll be updating ya'll in this post as I get more material & thoughts! I guess I'll turn this into my Life Purpose Journal!

@MarkKol Leo’s main focus is God and Consciousness. Nothing comes close to it.