Miguel1

Thank you.

@UnbornTao Again, I am not sure what is the problem. The idea of this forum is to live, learn and share experiences and lessons, and to discuss them. This is what I am struggling with at the moment and I am being vulnerable here with you guys, just for you to come play smartass with me. It’s alright, we do not need to continue our discussion. Thanks for your input.

Dating a girl, who requires you to offer her a great lifestyle / social circle, no matter how hot she is, is exhausting and unaligned with what I really want. And seems like that is what Valach also shares. There’s other things / highers things in life than dating the hottest girls.

This week I bumped into a new word: ”intellectual intimacy”. For me, that’s what I have always longed for in relationships. It’s extremely hard for me to be happy in a relationship, if we only explore physical and emotional intimacy, but not intellectual / mind intimacy, where two minds meet and explore together. It feels lacking, shallow and fairly lonely, if there is not the last layer. And we don’t need to agree on everything. Simply the openmindedness, the ability to think nuances and big picture, the ability to be in touch with Spirituality and discuss it. The more I mature, the more it feels like a prerequisite.

Hope you got back home safely

I don’t remember you being this hard to talk with, just about a year ago. I wonder what shifted in you. Anyway, I don’t think I ever expressed that I am somehow holier than socializing. On the other than, I have said multiple times that I need socializing and intimacy.

It seems go to in phases. I worked a lot in the winter, got tired and had to take a break. Started socializing a ton and now I am getting tired of all the social shenanigans. Perhaps I will take some time to do spiritual work, before getting back to work.

I appreciate that in you. And yes, sounds like Ulax needs to do that and exhaust it out of his system. I remember at my peak, doing it so much that it turned repetitive, boring and mechnical to the point I wasn’t even feeling her sexually anymore, as it was just ”work” for me.

Yes, at the same time, as you said, you have Todd’s program but not my suggested style’s program. So perhap’s that’s why. But perhaps it’s simply because people are wired differently. I would be lying if I said that one approach works best for everyone. As a way to measure how efficient your approach is, how much are you going out / approaching girls, and what are your results in terms of getting dates and sex?

Great to hear, thanks for sharing!

I have a bunch of friends, lots of them girls, they give me a ton of social proof. But to manage all of that requires a lot of manuevering and mind games. I am not deep down happy because it goes against my highest values, which is honesty, truth, integrity. So yes, the happiness is short-lived. It’s fun for a while but not deeply fulfilling. Also, I can’t see it being sustainable, so it feels like a whole lotta waste of time. I will lose / let go of this social circle that I have built sooner or later. And sooner than later, as my focus is on way higher things than playing social games.

I agree. But at the same time it is not easy to be completely okay with something that is like a basic need. It’s almost like saying: ”as long as you are okay with not having any money, then money will come!”

I deeply appreciate how respectful and mature your approach to the conversations here is. My counter-argument to what you said however is, that there is a way better way to do all that: be social with people, let loose and have fun, generate social proof, get in state, escalate, lead and close. These I believe are way more fundamental than focusing on lines and techniques, especially as a beginner.

Todd is a head first person. Watch some of the more natural styles like Owen. He can show full intent with words, while his presence communicates non-attachment. That being said, I don’t want to bash Todd. I’ve gotten a lot of value from him. But I would say his style works very well for people who are already naturally charming. Some great lines and techniques will just heavily highlight their charm and attractiveness. But most people getting into game, does so because they are not charming to begin with. Lines and techniques will get them stuck in their heads like no other. I know a few Todd students, and their game is awful.

No problems, you have not done anything wrong yet. I appreciate you trying to help me.

And as I said earlier, this is based on purely wishful thinking. Lots of people live like this and find no one. As a naturally ambitious and extroverted person, I like to be proactive and take actions towards what I want.

This thread is not just about me and my dating problems. How is everyone doing? If this remains just as my topic, then we will move it to the dating sub-forum.

Yes, good point. Todd V has some great technical stuff, but it often sacrifices your inner game, as you become too try-hard internally, even when you don’t show it outwards. And the fact that you have to also manage not showing it externally, fucks your inner game even more. The more I mature, the more I like to just go direct, while my body communicates ”interested but you gotta have way more than just looks”.

Probably 7-8/10. Where are you leading this?

@Wilhelm44 If my dream woman appeared in front of my door, I would receive her with open arms and love. I have dated so many people, during my whole adult life, that I would know how to fully appreciate a truly beautiful soul.

Ideally this is done with your presence, eye contact, tone of voice and body language. Playing these word games can get yourself too heavily in your head.

Don’t you think you are basing such strong statement simply in blief? You have no real proof that it actually is inevitable for most people. In theory it does make sense. For example, if I keep on focusing on building my conscious business and art, I am WAY more likely to find what I am looking for, than in the general socializing spaces of the mainstream culture.

I think this is too reductionist. Plenty of being wait their whole lives, and nothing happens. On the other hand, my natural extrovertness makes it very hard for me to just be passive and wait patiently.

Can you make this simpler to understand? What are you trying to say?

There are plenty of mature and older women out there that I meet and want to pursue dating with me. I can’t find them attractive, no matter how much I try (not assuming your wife is older).