Jirh

@Stick😬🤫

@Miguel1 You are a difficult person.

Whoa! That's a lot of misunderstandings, all in one post 😅 I'm not a pickup guy. All of my relationships are from social circle, platonic and romantic. I've never done pickup seriously. Did a few approaches here and there and failed every time. I never said spin multiple girls. I said interview them. Be clear that you are seeing other girls. Dating multiple girls for me is not about abundance or scarcity. It's about finding the most compatible partner in an honest way. I don't vibe with casual dating. It's never been my thing. You came here asking for a perspective. And instead of opening your mind, you're being defensive. Playing "holier than thou". Again. You mistook my perspective for some pickup dude. You misread me as some pickup douchebag. But I am not into pickup, nor am I looking for female validation. Companies interview tens and hundreds of people, and it's definitely not because they are looking for validation. The same principle applies here. It's not about insecurity. It's about maximizing the potential of finding the most compatible person for the position.

@Leo Gura 💯

Honestly, this reeks of neediness. And it's not how human relationships work. But whatever works for you, I guess.

That's the problem right there. You don't want them to do anything they don't want or be anything they aren't. You're just discovering who they are and whether they're aligned with you or not. You shouldn't try to force a relationship with anyone. Just hangout and see where it goes. If you are compatible, you will spontaneously and effortlessly gravitate more and more towards one another. If not, you will drift apart. It's very simple actually I'm finding it strange that I'm having to explain such basic things.

Exactly! 💯 Acting is an example of performing authenticity. We enjoy it, even though we know it's fake. (I know it's loosely related to topic, but it's an interesting example)

@Miguel1 The girls you're dating are not life partners yet. You haven't decided where they belong in your life yet. They're just friends with benefits, until commitment. Think of it like interviewing multiple applicants to the position of life partner. You don't owe anyone of them commitment until they're hired.

I don't see a problem with dating multiple people at the same time. It's not very different from making multiple friends at the same time, except for the sex part, which is objectively just a deeper layer of human connection. Date multiple girls, and if you naturally gravitate more towards one compared the others, then you have a clear sign going forward for who's more compatible with you.

No, you don't get it. You have a dogmatic belief about this topic. Authenticity is not performance, and it will never be. Authenticity is something you'd do regardless of what other people think or say. You'd do it for free, just because you enjoy it. You'd do it when you're alone when nobody's watching. Hobbies are clear examples of authentic activities. You're doing something for the sake of it. Not for other people. Unless you find a way to twist hobbies into means for social approval. Work can be authentic, even though most people are not working authentic jobs. An authentic job is something you'd do for free, but you're happy that you're getting recognized and paid for it. Motivation is the main differentiator. The difference between an authentic job and a performative job is that you'd still do and enjoy the authentic job even if you lose your job, you'd still do what you like doing for yourself, for free. Notice, I'm not saying it's easy to distinguish for others. There are a lot of cases where people seem completely authentic in their performance. But that means nothing. Deep down, their motivation is social approval. That's what performance essentially is. Someone who performs for an audience. But it's easy to distinguish for yourself when there's no audience. An eagle hunts not for an audience, but for itself. That is the compass. The motivation behind the act. "Are you doing what you're doing because that's who you truly are or because that's just a role you're playing?". That's the question.

It is the easiest thing to distinguish for the one doing it. You are aware of yourself and your actions and motivations. You know when you are being authentic or performing. That's what matters, not what others think. The fact that you argued this suggests that you're frequently performing for others.

@aurum I don't think so. I think truth is authentic, and authenticity is the opposite of performance.

Most people in politics exhibit a lot of effective frame control. It's a pillar of diplomacy. It's a way of dancing around difficult topics confidently without offending others or openly/directly opposing different points of view.

What a load of nonsense! Last time I disagreed with you was about the burdens of leadership. Those burdens are not consequences of truth, they're consequences of performance/lying. Truth is light, almost weightless. The opposite of frame control. A truly dominant person who's not performing will not be burdened by leadership. They will feel aligned and at home.

1. Most pickup dudes aren't looking for long term commitment. They just want to have sex as quickly, frequently, and cheaply as possible. Frame control is perfect for that. 2. Frame control is the masculine version of shit testing. They're both toxic strategies that guarantee your partner is a desperate doormat. 3. I don't think it's always performative. Some men are naturally dominant, and it fits their personality perfectly. 4. I appreciate you looking into this stuff. It's refreshing reading from an intelligent woman instead of douchebag men.

@Olaf Great job, man! Very inspiring!

@Inliytened1 You seem horny, bored, and possibly drunk. That is a killer combo, and not in a good way.

💯🤝

That's not the mind of a man. That's the mind of any horny + unhinged creature. I don't normally think or talk like that. My friends aren't like that, either.

@Inliytened1 Is that you? 😂

😂 Seriously, what is the matter with you acting so unhinged? Are you normally like this?!

@Miguel1 Nice! I'm a bit like that too. Otrovert -- Predictive text didn't recognize it 😆

OMG! 🤢 What's the matter with you guys? Thank God I'm not a female on this forum.

Early cringe of the month 🤢