twoosees

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About twoosees

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  1. Hi there I'm having a slight difficulty within myself. There is a tug of war going on inside of my mind with regards to me wanting to help my brother out. He flunked his first term and it's a somewhat important year to get his act together. I've introspect on the matter and it seems part of it is a projection of wanting control a narrative that should go right for him.. As I wasted my opportunity years ago only towards the end of the year because I was not handling trauma and emotional turmoil well enough in my teens He is sucked into the pop culture sensationalism like Tik Tok Twitter and Ytube. Sometimes I express my disdain but feel bad since I was time on social networks myself sometimes. We do laugh about what they show on these social media apps because I'm trying to be where his at in life. I notice parental tendancies coming out too. Part me wants to deny helping so he can help himself .. While the other part so wishes to advise him.. And not for it to come of as controlling... Fuck..
  2. @Raphael Glad to know that haha. its a little bit different on the bottom end of the world. Fortunate that we get to tap into forums nowadays. wouldnt have been possible some 30 years ago
  3. @Rilles "I feel like one with the moon but that is some other shit!" lol glad to know weve got similair music taste in this forum.
  4. a song idolizing marijuana as open relationship. a commited long term one at that Dom is a legend though haha. I miss getting stoned sometimes
  5. Just finishing of the video on How Ideology works.. Man, the mind, my mind our mind is quite the constructionist. I could say that I intuitively shared some discussion points on how being locked into what society programs you is destructive, but on the other end that could also be an ideology, you can make out of life. reflecting on some points I found out that our minds always try to ground us in intuitive notions of reality. more especially for the curious type who can not accept the bare facts of their culture. Knowing how dense the topics on actualized are, in some instances, it's difficult for me to see if I am making an ideology out of reality or rather if I'm being actual about the experience. eg) notion of the mind operating outside the physical notion of Self and body when I walk or experience the current reality at the moment, I feel that I am taking concepts and inserting them into reality( like that of nonduality, the shapeshifting phenomenon of God being in a 'limited' form but is infinite in reality). I also had the thought to leave the consumption of teachings as it gets too addictive to get into a rabbit hole of dense content. I did some years ago, then got back into it. Lol, love-hate relationship with this platform. Like it's like you want to make a cult out of your beliefs, to cement an experience, whether with good intentions or not... at this point this post might be mental masturbation but wanted to put it out to get a different perspective rather than 'ideology' lol
  6. @Jacob Morres Noted. Thank you for the breakdown of your points. I tend to express myself far too much now, but that is only because it is advised by some resources, but that is because it makes me more authentic. I used to think I'm selling my soul to frame myself in a grunt worker as I adopted this approach. However, I see the benefits of a solid portfolio. I really do not have anything to disagree on, except for paying for a referral.. is that not corrupt? . if it is rather I see sacrifice and willingness to do whatever it takes to get the job, but not sure if my concious is okay with that
  7. @Meditationdude Haha, thanks for the perspective. I mean yeah maybe for some jobs I should not be overly minded with these ideals of creativity, especially with manual labour and sales. bring it down to earth you know. but truth be told I am looking for a job for finances are in a sham, and I'm of the age to earn and move out. @Hello from Russia Thank you for this. I've sabotaged myself for the longest time by not making time to prepare a portfolio. what do you mean by brute force it? Just keep applying for graphic jobs till they can't deny me?
  8. @Wilhelm44 The cost and its culture have negatively affected me because it is not for everyone, especially the ivy league type. I was not focused that much, and the guilt of eating up my parents money on some informations and skills i can learn for myself finally reached a tipping point. They are too glorified, especially here in SA. When only a number of the people get what they want out of it.
  9. Hi to the board members I have an issue in which I am struggling to land a job for some time now since December I have not been called back. I am currently out of college. I do some freelancing design work like graphic design and illustrations, which has had a bit of a slow start this year. (Context: Living in South Africa, not attending college anymore) open to some aspects working in our economy since we are fairly globalized. I update my cv from time to time and planning to do so this week. TIA
  10. I have had that inclination/ feeling too. although at times it has more responsibility to hold accountable for critical thinking more than uni would. What i run into is my own sense of understanding and its not always that accurate as I'd like to imagine it would be. so I have to work hard to teach myself
  11. Hey there. So I felt agitated for the past day about what is happening in my country. We are having another one of the protests on free education because of the historical debt students have accumulated from the covid epidemic. but it is really not something knew that we have been fighting for some time now. I have been somewhat affected by it as I could not get myself to pay the thousands of our currency to go back and get my academic record. it is now my 2nd year out of varsity. I had felt somewhat guilty for the cost of schooling and how much time I wasted on the opportunity in some instances. I was enrolled for commerce then got into fine arts.. My agitation is with the school system be a saving grace, the way we see it in our country now is like such a scarce resource, especially for the research universities. I fell into the trap of wanting to go to these uni's , having been against it for sometime in my teens. I lost some of independent thinking and joined the herd. (didn't now better at the time) Questions in my mind arose as i thought about free education and its impact on how lecturers would get paid? is it alright to be reliable on the government to secure everything is it even right to be entitled to a free education regardless of your circumstance in life? we are in somewhat of a system that is quite orange, blue and green on the spiral dynamics level, being heavily influenced by western culture. historically and currently still the pyramid scheme-like system of higher education is such that a minority of the minority that got accepted into that system survive? To me on the surface level that seems futile... But then again. I guess you need the cream of the crop to prevail How is possible that other countries are able to make it work if it's been done before? what has been the impact of it? I would imagine it being somewhat economical but have to research further. I like to get to read the experiences and viewpoints on the matter from forum members
  12. Hey there forum members. I am 23 years old, and looking for resources on business, particularly for an artistic mind. I went to the library to get books on personal finances as I have flunked on them for a number of years, and even now sitting on an overdraft, and I am committed to making changes in that area. i did some freelancing graphic design last year, and other projects to finish by the end of this month or the next.
  13. @kag101 Thank you for the advice. I have the same history with recreational drugs such as weed. It has been half a year or since I last was into it. It might not be classified as a psychedelic, I can resonate with being to excessive about enlightenment, recreation and so forth.
  14. @Tech36363 I am watching the Cult Psychology series and in that way, the proof we're looking for is to cement our own understanding and grew it in what Leo says he in the videos. It is a self-deception to not admit our cult like tendancies