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About Lionhead

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  1. @AdamDiC Because I would rather do that than work some wage slave job. At least school can offer varied experiences, allow me to meet more people, and teach me a thing or two. Better than working at Fedex. It's not sustainable, I know, but I cannot really tolerate any more stupid ass basic jobs that I don't care about and don't like to do. There's nothing dignified about my way of life. It's another way of avoiding homelessness. I'm not some genius who's going to create some invention or business. I'm not intelligent enough to find a fun and cool way to make money. I'm not Elon Musk. I'm lucky not to be a homeless drunk.
  2. Well you are right. I feel vulnerable these days. I'm a sad person. I don't have the strength to follow my heart. Something is wrong with the way I live and make decisions. I hate it. The only hope is that it's all crumbling, the cracks have become fissures. I think I'm beginning to understand what the shadow is. I'm going through a lot of pain, the way I think, it's all to suppress the heart. Because I don't really believe I can meet my heart's desires, so I run away. That's when the false personality is created. But it's too painful, thinking about this just makes me want to cry. The worst part, these facts always elude me, but it's probably transparent and plain to other people. Thank you for that resource though, I've never used the emotional scale. I pursue spirituality to run away from my heart, but spirituality only leads me back to the heart. That's my situation.
  3. Auras are more superficial than skin? That's a new idea for the mind. I have always considered auras as a means to uncover underlying emotions and energies that are driving an appearance or manifestation, or at least, a perceptible extension of an object/ person's essence. Do you mean to point out that auras constantly change, and it is therefore unreasonable to make conclusions about something based on information gathered from the aura? Isn't the aura the astral body, the energetic signature of something? Also, I understand the difference between angels and demons. I'm talking about what these entities actually are in direct experience. When it comes to magick, certain terms are usually coded language meant to refer to something subtle and illusive. Angels are an actual phenomenon that can be observed directly, but I have no idea how to uncover this or where exactly to look, but it does refer to something real. Unfortunately I am forced to do that in order to continue constructing concepts and understandings about reality. I know that I'm correct but I'm not experiencing it or living it necessarily. In the rare moments that I actually experience the truth of life directly, I couldn't care less about any of this stuff, ironically. It's strange to think about. My heart doesn't give a shit about being a philosopher, but my mind does. You are right in that I'm off-track. It makes me sad if I'm being honest. Even if I know the truth of reality, it makes no difference and I still don't know how to be a human.
  4. I read about high magick and these concepts seem to only make sense in the context of Solipsism, otherwise known as truth or awakening. This guy Damien Echols is a great guy, he explains a bit how the Goetia is actually an element of the Solipsistic mechanics of the universe. So here is the real question. Are the teachings of high magick (including all books and organizations) actually the scientific study of consciousness or the universe, but in the context of Solipsism, when it is recognized that physical and mental realities are in fact one and the same? Is Enlightenment what it means to be initiated into the occult? I have learned to perceive auras, and I have realized that all objects have a distinct energy signature, or aura, and upon interacting with said objects, they will harmonize with my aura. Other humans have stronger auras than animals. Trees have powerful auras, even more so than humans. I have always perceived auras however, most of my life I was not conscious that these "feelings" when interacting with things was what an aura is. It was entirely subconscious. After learning these things, I became more interested in occult concepts, for I realized that many of these ideas sound fantastical, like "energy", "auras", "angels", or "blessings", but in reality, when it comes to the occult, these words are not referring to something mysterious and inaccessible or some religious or Hollywood-esque interpretation. These ideas are actually referring to things that are easily available to us everyday, things that exist in plain sight but we just don't notice them because they are subtle and we lack the terminology to be able to point at these things. Of course, High Magick supplies us with the vocabulary, we just don't know what they are pointing at. I have been considering the idea of actually experimenting with conjuration. The Archangels, and their demonic counterparts, must correspond with the underlying mechanics of the universe, and how this reality is generated. You could call these psycho-physical forces? These correspond to different psychological components of the soul, and must invariable each have their unique influence on the occurrences of reality. I have no experience with conjuring angels and demons, but I have some ideas about what they are. The proper way to interpret is to see that God is synonymous with me, myself. God created these angels to help him manage this universe somehow. Could these entities actually represent a finite number of souls, that manifest themselves as people? What if Archangel Michael is actually a person, but a sort of shapeshifter, becoming people at different times in my life, and because he is an angel, he takes the form of friendly, helpful people? Same with the demons, except when I encounter people who bring challenges, they could simply be one of these entities of mine, assuming a human form? In which case I have met these entities before when they were wearing human disguises. These angels and demons could simply be alter egos of God, manifesting as humans. This makes sense to me, for it's a simple explanation. After all, how many people do I ever have in my life at once? 10? 20 max? At the very most I will never really have more than 100 people in my life, so that corresponds roughly with the numbers. That is one theory. It could very much be wrong. There is something to this however, I would like to know what angels and demons actually are.
  5. I would say no. You do actually lose a lot of vital energy when you ejaculate. I kicked the habit and I never felt better. I don't see why you wouldn't just get a girlfriend rather than spend your body's vital energy nutting into a tissue paper, while watching other people have sex. I mean you are alive, you might as well seek the real experience.
  6. This is an interesting thread. As a guy, I do feel guilt because in the past I have always held a negative, incel view towards women. As I have matured, I learned that you shouldn't treat women as a means to satisfy your sexual desires. I have taken on celibacy (as in abstaining from pornography and masturbation) and that has changed my attitude towards women. I do believe men's toxic ways are rooted in masturbation and porn. Women don't want to be viewed as pieces of meat. The only reason that you (if you're a man) gets nervous when talking to women is because you're treating the conversation like a potential sexual encounter. It's better to take sex out of the equation and just talk to women like their just people, in a relaxed manner without an agenda. You just make friends and if it escalates into a sexual relationship then that's alright. Although personally I don't have much success with women at all in any sense. I'm just as much an incel as anyone. But I'm learning the proper ways of thinking. I'm a bit too strange of a person to be very attractive I imagine, in spite of the fact that I consider myself one of the best looking men I know. I love my face, body, and voice.
  7. I agree with Leo. Trump is a clown. He doesn't live in the real world. He talks a lot of shit but at the end of the day he is just a silly old man who has to be kept in check by the handlers that surround him. The fact he became president at all speaks less for Trump's competence and more for the idiocy of America. I can't see how any one supports him except out of humor.
  8. His cooking videos are all vegan. What gives you the idea that he isn't vegan?
  9. Self-honesty, is the key to maturation in my experience
  10. If wage slavery is humiliating to you, I doubt jail would be up your alley. You don't even have to work hard to be a wage slave. Just become a night-shift security guard somewhere, or work as a hotel clerk for the night shift. You'll be sitting at a desk all night watching youtube and chatting on forums. You can get seasonal jobs that provide housing. If your stuck in wage slavery, you can still do it smart and not have to work all that hard.
  11. The internet has changed a lot since then, mainly in the construction of echo chambers. They follow one right wing page after sharing a meme, and then they get suggestions from others and over time they become saturated in content that goes deeper into the rabbit hole of the ideology. What can start out as some benign right wing opinions (making fun of SJWs) will evolve into total nazism and radical ideology. Watch a steven crowder, stefan molyneux or PragerU video on youtube and a week later your feed is filled with alt-right content perpetuating conspiracy theories. At least on old forums these kinds of ideologies would face opposition from other members and wouldn't be taken seriously. Differing opinions were forced to harmonize with eachother to some extent
  12. This could be seen in a positive light however. I think this can result in more people taking notice of society at large, and many may become interested in involving themselves in the changes taking place in society.
  13. It saddens me deeply that people invest so much mental energy into these kinds of intangible fears. I have lost friends over this political right-wing nonsense. One of my old friends who spent a lot of time on social media slowly got indoctrinated into fascism. He legitimately believes that pedophiles run the country and that the only way to stop it is through violence. He would go on tirades about politicians kidnapping babies and eating them and SJW brainwashing and communist infiltration, race and IQ, the destruction of the white race etc. He called me an SJW and an apathetic hippie when I didn't express fear and indignation towards his imaginary super-villains George Soros and Rothschild and Mark Zuckerberg (even though he constantly used facebook). I simply told him that he should form his worldview in the real world, not on youtube and facebook. He cut me off after learning I worked for the Biden campaign. He used to be a level-headed, laid back guy guy, but now he is judgmental and high-strung, dismissing people for not sharing his ideology, and he is getting involved in alt-right political groups and these conspiracy theories changed his views on all kinds of topics, now he believes abortion is evil and gay people are degenerates and so forth. I have thoroughly studied this worldview myself, and I have concluded that even if it is all true, I would rather not live my life in abject fear, nor subject myself to being a social outcast in the name of this ideology. I feel I lack the knowledge and experience to be qualified to form these kinds of strong opinions toward the government and society, but maybe I am wrong.
  14. My heart is giving me an overwhelming intuition that this is not the right school, even though I have been enthusiastic about this school for months. At this point my research on the school has turned up some findings that cast this school in a negative light. Tell me, if I have doubts, would it really be worth it to commit even a semester's worth of effort (several months of debt, time, and opportunity cost)? My ambition in life is world travel, enlightenment and to make a contribution to the improvement of society, not to preach dogmatic views on spirituality. To contrast with MIU, Prescott University is another school I am interested in. They seem to emphasize values I agree with, and is something I resonate with. Of course, with the introduction of Covid-19 college in general seems to have been diminished in value and reduced to online courses. Which is quite frustrating.