at_anchor

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Posts posted by at_anchor

  1. Posted

    Okay.

    I don't believe in God. I believe there is enlightenment, but there is no God. 

    There are just animals and aliens.

     

    I also have a strong opinion that the universe is a dangerous, sometimes very unfair and cruel place. 

     

    For me death is sometimes desirable, other times it is really scary, the pain of dying and living or the pain of maybe even reincarnation.

     

    I don't actually believe in reincarnation. It is hard to believe in it when the fact is that my body and brain will never again exist which makes it impossible for me to exist. I never existed prior to my birth and even then I don't really remember that much. I don't identify myself as God, creator of reality or whatever.

     

    For me Consciousness is a form of power that moves everything in existence. Everyone is predetermined and consciousness is not even aware, but it thinks it is. It's just some form of power that moves dreams and people in it. Or consciousness is the dream matter itself, incomprehensible, mystical and magical like the sea.

     

    For me being reborn in a worse reality than this is scary, but why? Why does the universe have to be so fucking evil? Made my life the way it is and is gonna make another one even worse? Why not believe in the possibility of getting reincarnated in a better reality? My wishes never even became reality so maybe it is just possible to let reality do whatever it wants without me in it. I don't want to be forced to stay in hell for no good reason.

     

    Lastly, I feel abandoned, poor, ashamed, unacceptable, stupid.

  3. Posted

    How to deal with some weird feelings of shame for basically publishing pics of your body on some dating app and getting kind of harrassed for it, laughed at. Also, feelings of just being poor and feelings of wanting to disappear, but not quite making that decision because you feel some kind of injustice or jealousy or whatever

  4. Posted

    3 things that I like that are happening in my experience:

    • Having the freedom to commit suicide.
    • Having the "privilege" of not being locked up and drugged.
    • Having a good nights sleep.

     

    3 things that I am imagining doing right now that I would like to experience:

    • Getting power.
    • Ordering their removal.
    • Sailing around the Medditereanean sea with a boat full of oats and $499,000 dollars on my bank account.

  9. Posted

    18 minutes ago, Jannes said:

    You can research my profile and make a guess. 

    Sorry, I researched a bit. You're good.

    19 minutes ago, Jannes said:

    You said short distances are hard.

    Yes, they are hard, almost impossible.

    20 minutes ago, Jannes said:

    Do "they" know you are on this forum and know your account name? Otherwise it seems like fear of persecution.

    Of course!

    1 hour ago, Jannes said:

    How is your status being withdrawn, withheld or stolen from you?

    Okay, so... I'll explain.

  10. Posted

    23 minutes ago, Jannes said:

    Can you clearly explain your situation?

    No I cannot. 

    Who are you anyway and how can I know I can trust you?

    There are bad guys like them working with them and then there are good guys working for them. How do i k

    24 minutes ago, Jannes said:

    How old are you?

    Yawn so I can tell you.

    28 minutes ago, Jannes said:

    Why are you not able to travel anywhere?

    This question is incorrectly assuming I can't travel anywhere.

    30 minutes ago, Jannes said:

    How is your status being withdrawn, withheld or stolen from you?

    There are certainly answers to these questions, but I refuse to give them to you out of fear of more gaslighting and humiliation.

  11. Posted · Edited by at_anchor

    3 things that I like that are happening in my experience:

    • My body and brain existing, making me unique and who I am.
    • "His" beautiful body, face and mind existing, rising a desire in me for connection and bare touch.
    • Intellectual stimulation and little improvements in my understanding today caused by forum members here. The kind of interaction I have with you on this forum is something that I like happening in my direct experience.

     

    3 things that I am imagining doing right now that I would like to experience:

    • Sex worth dying for.
    • Detoxing and finding ways of healing (trauma or whatever) for the improved mental and physical performance.
    • Living a life without so much financial constraints amd limitations.

     

    On 11/7/2023 at 9:29 AM, Princess Arabia said:

    After 7 days, which is today Thursday the 7th, it would be nice if you could give a brief report on how it's making you feel doing this challenge everyday. Just say what's on your mind about it, whether good or bad, because you have to be true to yourself. Do it once a week, every 7 days. The 7th, 14th, 21st and 28th. Just briefly.

    OMG I thought you told me to do this challenge once every week. Fucking sorry!!! Jesus Christ, this was such a big mistake in interpretation. I hope I can continue. This doesn't count. I missed just 3 days.

    Anyway, the report you wanted me to write: the challenge is not really making me any more hopeful about the future at all. It is fun and it puts things into perspective, it makes them clearer. If I started it earlier in life it would have been amazing. Right now I don't have the hope I need, the opportunities are stripped away so I have no way of succeeding, being happy, doing the things I love like outdoor activities, travel, meeting new people, sex, driving a car, talking with everyone, being entertaining and fun to be around, having a worry free life without psychopaths targeting me, etc. It's just not practical anyway. It's not solving the security issues I'm facing. But I recommend others, just not if you're gonna say "Oh, I like the big Mac, oh I like the ice cream, oh I like" the thought of, idk, "I'd like to experience shooting someone", although I'm not sure. If  you want to shoot one of my oppressors and abusers I'd say "You go girl!", "Take em down boys, take em down!", "Yeah baby, tear them limb from lemb!", "Oh no, don't just shoot them. They don't deserve that privilege! Lock em up in insane asylums and drug em to death for years! Do everything they wanted to do to me and actually did to me."

  14. Posted

    7 hours ago, Yimpa said:

    Physical appearance is not as important as one may assume.

     

    Well yeah, it's  easier for him to cope with his handicap in America, with all that support, love and a bit of wealth around him. 

    I can show you videos of non handicapped, beautiful people with circumstances that make it unbearable. Sometimes even wealthy people fall into life traps that make them suicidal and ultimately commit suicide.

    Congradulations to the little man going through this kind of a life. I'd support him as well if I could. 

    Idk what I want to say. 

    I mean, are you recommending I find a black boyfriend, hahah

    I mean, yeah, that would be great. Asian, black, I love em all. 

  16. Posted

    Are you enlightened and do you know God? Do you know infinity? Do you know what consciousness is?  If yes, then...

    What can I expect to get after my death or after death? Another life with amazing sex in it perhaps? Or maybe  power, wisdom, Truth and revenge?

    Can you expect to get anything at all from death except the ending of a bad life, a horrific story that continues on after you die but excludes your awareness of it?

    Do you become one with the whole again? Or do you become an omniscient and omnipotent  being  capable of, idk, affecting the course of events that happen after the body cases to exist in the future?

     

    Anyway, yup.

  17. Posted · Edited by at_anchor

    43 minutes ago, lizz_luna said:

    Go on dating sites but work on your self esteem, value, and outlook on life first. 

    Also get clear on why do you want a partner and what are you looking for.

    What value can a old mens cock sucker have with his nudes circling around the internet? Let's not even start with my value being withdrawn, withheld or stolen from me. 

    My outlook on life is not good at all, because if it was, I would have the guts to kill myself and stop being such a pussy.

    I want a partner because having a very attractive boyfriend for one day is worth dying for, baby. It's just not worth living life like in hell without getting what devilish sons of bitches have.

  19. Posted

    4 hours ago, The0Self said:

    if you’re looking for a passive/submissive bf that’s probably very similar to man-to-woman game, in which case just be confident and escalate… damn. Can’t imagine how much easier men are than women.

    I'd do it right now if I could. The point is that I don't know where to practice my game on guys here.

    4 hours ago, The0Self said:

    if man-to-woman game is to be any sort of template, just believing in your own self worth 100% (i.e. “keepin’ it 100”) is literally the atomic bomb that deletes all problems you could ever have on the level of “scoring love.”

    I'm foolish or something... idk. practicality problems, etc.

  20. Posted

    15 minutes ago, The0Self said:

    Self-limiting beliefs. If you’re worth it then you’re worth it. But attractiveness is of course important for this, so if this is what you want, then yeah improving your attractiveness and putting yourself out there would be fruitful. Don’t you already know this? Can’t see your gender. You are a woman, right? If not then never mind I totally missed the mark.

    I'm also a man. I'd probably only be a man if circumstances allowed it. I want a passive/bottom  boyfriend. What is not clear?  Some men are so ugly, but they have the money, the car, the right location and everything that they scam guys who would be happier with me to be with them.

  22. Posted

    33 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

    Then move cities. 

    You need a more liberal environment to do this. And, in less populated environments, you're not going to find men who will submit to you. Because the survival-conditions are harder, so the hierarchy-system between the sexes will not work out in your favor in these environments. 

    yeah, I know.... moving cities is a big issue

  24. Posted

    5 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

    Very easy. 

    • Figure out what role you have for a man in your life. 
    • Look for men who can play that role. 
    • Go to them and ask them for 'help'. For example, if you'd like a man who can lift you when he makes love to you, go to a buff dude and ask him to help you carry stuff. 
    • Thank him and give him a compliment as you do. 
    • If he picks up on the hint, you're set. 

    i'm looking for cute men I can dominate...