at_anchor

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Everything posted by at_anchor

  1. @KanddleThanks, maybe I will do that soon. I just don't know how to explain it yet. I'm actually hopeful now because I heard a video from Dr. Gina Sam MD from New York and about her Emma product. We'll see.
  2. Life is work, lunch, dinner and sleep. If they take that away, and health, it's over.
  3. If I eat, again, I will not be well and they will frame me for being crazy. Ppl, ?
  4. They obviously break into my room undetected and sabotage my property. How is it not possible that they somehow gas my room or that they did something about two weeks ago to make my stomach incapable of digesting food without ducolax, it scares me. I can't go hungry and die, they would just frame me and I would be easily irritated and incapable of speaking normally, like I'm crazy. No digestion plant or tea helps me. This is something else. This was poisoning or continues to be poisoning, maybe regular visits at night. Now, I'm gonna need to seek help from a doctor sooner or later and then they will connect it to what I wrote here. It's a way to hunt me down on their territory.
  5. Those who control and decide what is gonna happen to me iare responsible for my health problems. Is anyone here interested in comforting me before going through a long and painful journey of something like being nailed to the cross for decades and losing it all. I don't need comforting words I guess. I need a job I can fulfill requirements of and first of all, a safe place for my body to be in amd to live. Denmark I guess, or something else. I just can't go there. sos.
  6. They will be taking me away probably next week. I am giving up on my phone and so this is the last thing I will be writing, probably. I don't want another one to be stolen. I hope my family will protect it. So that is that. People have destroyed my life, my family will demonize me and say that I'm crazy, that i am not well because I don't eat well which is wrong. There will be no way out. No one to save me, free me. I will lose my health and be tortured. I don't know what advice I can give except that if you live in a third world country, get out asap.
  7. You don't accept defeat, you get defeated. I don't know how I can respond. I'm all basically tied up here and can't escape anymore. Responsibility is about how you can respond.
  8. Today I am feeling worse and tired. They limited my communication over SMS messages again. I have a runny nose with yellowish stuff, probably a temperature as well, I have a total blockage, constipation. I don't understand how did they doo it now when I'm not taking those shit pills. It appears that cruel history did not pass and is still happening in the world. I wish I had people around me who could protect me and heal me, but it appears that I will have to man up and accept my locked away and tortured future with loss of every hope. I wish my past was better and that I had what I have now for education, but without health and freedom, education is not possible. Life could have been amazing really. I could have achieved financial independence and become sophisticated and so forth. It was really a tough journey with hope and many different directions I could take in life. Now that journey failed and I'm forever lost to the biggest scum there is in this world.
  9. I am saying it wrongly, she's just ignorant and appears to not care about being careful.
  10. They will lock me away in a cell with crazy people for the rest of my life and I will suffer there for years. I can't man up for that. It is not the same thing as going into battle with swords or guns, although I'm not sure I'd be a man enough for that either. I probably would not fear getting shot or sworded to death as much as this.
  11. I have been poisoned by smart and powerful people from *. My digestive system doesn't work properly anymore. They are all making a fool out of me, including my mother who actually doesn't care if she messes my life up and just wants to push me off the cliff. I am blindly obedient to her, and she never listens to what I say. She shushes me up and threatens to leave me if I am negative.
  12. This is coming from someone who has probably had a loving fathet that cared for your wellbeing, not a selfish sadistic brute who loved to torture you, who abused you, enslaved you, crushed your chances for independence, allied with bullies and everyone who does you harm, while trying to sabotage your relations with the right people, a psychopatic monster that probably also is the one poisoning you if not somebody else he knows. A father that wants to take away your sanity, freedom and dignity so you never are able to open your mouth against him if you even cared to, but mostly because je doesn't want you good. No, I don't think this is victim mentality, it is reality. See, I'm gonna be gaslighted and treated inhumanely to the utmost degree for years to come. I will lose my mommy to my father too. She is, I don't know what to say. I'm not having victim mentality, I am a victim. Now, we are all brothers and sisters so tnx for calling me brother. It's just that there are really amazing brothers and abusive brothers. I had a lot of abuse in life and will have a lot more. Especially if my digestive system doesn't heal. Why now? I bet someone poisoned me somehow... PS: Guys, please figure out how someone can poison you and make your digestive system stop working.
  13. This is great advice, but people are preventing me from getting one by destroying my stability by the method of stopping my intestines now and by gossip and law. I eat a lot but I'm unable to have my basic excretory need met. I don't know, I didn't try going to Asia or Africa, but I guess a ticket would cost around a thousand euros. I can't help my family. They are alright without me and have someone else to protect them who would come any time for them and give them asylum if need be. Other than that, I really can't open my mouth and speak anything that would be of help to anyone. I don't want to interfere and mess things up for myself and others. I don't have any power to change the world for the better, i guess. I could try YouTube, but not in a bad state. I could try finding a job, but not if my excretory need can't be met and food just stays in my stomach, rotting there and turning into poison which affects my behavior and then it gets blamed on my head because I have no evidence.
  14. I don't know how to change my attitude nor what actions to take to be free from these chains and people. Thank you for reaching out. I don't think I will have control over my body and my actions soon anymore, which is a big concern I have. The only thing I think would be wise to try, but I know it would fail, is to flee, run away, go to Africa or Asia, cause I'm afraid I won't be able to go to the west. That's the only thing I can think of. I would end up a starving man, but at least maybe free and I would die younger, not old and tortured for years, sick and in extreme pain, with a lost mind.
  15. I will end up in a psych ward for the rest of my life. My body, my property, land, children, everything is taken and will be exploited and destroyed. My body will soonbe tortured because I give up. I will give up. You ruined my life. Are you satisfied you all morbid morbids? Here you go, you've been devouring me for years inside and out, my body. Stinks smelly thieves and selfish. You disgusting beasts from ***** spying and all the other accomplices. Stinky bastards. Here is my body and my apartment and my land and my children and my cottage, so destroy and use it all you beasts. Here is this site as well. It is obviously not gonna be my personal development tool.
  16. How is working in the office easier when you don't know how to do math, science or programming? Anyway, does anyone know how I can build an online business that targets a global audience? Is it possible to give value to the world as a YouTuber one day when I'm not too old? I wish I could put my basic knowledge of English to use and connect with many countries. I'm afraid private businesses won't have a man like me onboard their ships, while it is too late for government jobs that require college educations. I wish I could build something one day, but I'm not ready. I'm still too inexperienced and very unintelligent. I'm not a good philosopher, nor anything else. So what can I do? Preach about diet and exercise? Be a massage therapist maybe? If I was able to master consciousness and meditation, I would make it, but that is really hard. But if I was, then people would probably follow me. Yes, basic self-help too, but you can live without it. Emotional mastery and consciousness.... PS: Can anyone help me start writing essays to improve my writing and vocab and understanding of the Bible? I don't speak very well, and I want to improve in the areas of socialization and communication.
  17. I wake up fast and have trouble going back to sleep since people messed with my chem. I didn't sleep for 8h normally for a very long time. I lose strength over the day. In the past I was strong enough to work the most demanding jobs. Now I feel incomplete and incompetent even for the lowest of the low jobs. Is my future to be a homeless beggar or imprisoned patient? What can I do with my life?
  18. In which countries is suicide allowed? Where is it not punished by some psych ward or something? I ate some bread, it was delicious but not good. Having problems with my digestive system. Anyway, which countries even encourage suicide? Are there even such places on Earth? I'm sorry for my negative thinking. I just need suicide. Does God accept it? Is there Karma to be paid for it? Would I have a better life after suicide if reincarnation was true? Please help leave and escape what I got myself into, please.
  19. Please God help me learn computer science, I beg you. Please take me out of this place and protect me from bad people. Heal me. I know I am asking for too much now. It is too late. I am in danger and lost all my resources for acomplishing this goal. I was so stupid. I had it all and was capable of making my dreams come true. Now it is too late. There is no God or Universe that fulfils wishes or there is and it is fulfilling wishes of other people who want to destroy my life and torture me. I am not afraid of death. I am so afraid of hurting my heart to escape the inevitable. I don't understand why. I guess because it would hurt so much, yet I would ask someone else to do it for me if I could. But no one would pierce my heart and put me down humanely. Is there anyone here who can help me make a job online? What can I do to earn three thousand euros a year online? There must be some kind of value I can bring to people. Businesses often hurt people and make money off of it, why can't I do something small and make money from not giving a lot of value?
  20. I'm not that short, but I am weak,get tired easily, lose focus and concentration, weak communication skills, I have small hands and not that long arms as well! So I have to find a job anyway. What would suit me?I'm not beautiful and smart either. I'm not brave I think. This inability to find myself in something and actually get a job and keep itcreates a lot of suffering in my life. So I will make a short list of things I know ecist out there and put an X where I think it impossible for me... Captain X Pilot X Lawyer, Economist X Programmer X Brick layer (maybe) Electrician X Painter X (have to keep in mind my rep is tarnished and I can't) Baker X Nurse (maybe, if only I knew math and science) Athlete X Trainer X Monk X Truck driver X Train driver X Conductor X Gardener X Trash collector (maybe) Cleaner (maybe) Roofer (maybe, I don't have big hands and strength and brains for it) Carpenter (same as roofer) Plumber (maybe) Welder (a hard job, dangerous. I don't know if it is for me) Cop Xxx Professor X ??? Can you help me solve this problem?
  21. I don't want rich and powerful from my country people to torture me for the rest of my life. Why? Why was I so stupid? Give me back what I had. I didn't realize the value and importance of it. Forever lost so much. Now only constipation, and there will be torture and I will lose my mind and bang my head locked away. Can anyone please help me go away and get to safety?
  22. Please help me commit suicide before it is too late. I beg you. I beg you. I can't go through this for 50 years more. Disease and poisoning and so forth. I beg you people help me pass away. I will be sicker and lose more and others will feed on that. I will be tortured. Help. I need to escape my miserable destiny. Can anyone help? There is nothing good left of me. I can't survive without having to suffer so much till the end.
  23. I should open up about everything I can say, but it appears I will be quieted in pain. See you in heaven. I don't want to get out of heaven once I'm in it, never. I'll swim and enjoy the sun, I'll explore nature and feel amazing on a all fruit diet. I'll be with good people and see no problems in society at all. It will be so good. I can't wait to die. Heaven, please don't leave me outside your gates for longer than 25 more years. I can't take it more than that. Even that is too much.
  24. I am afraid and always was of opening up about myself and what happened to me and that is why my actions seem unreasonable and I insane
  25. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5378484/ I found the above link about Lieke. I have a hard time believing it is true, but if it is, if an old woman can stop eating and drinking and die peacefully, why can't I? Of course I can't because others are preventing me. But I really wish I could do it and die peacefully starting now. I don't understand how she can justdecide to stop eating and drinking and then not become so thirsty and hungry to reach for a cup of water. How is that possible? I thought I would have to lock myself somehow to do this, but this woman did it with people around her and didn't change her mind in any moment. She died peacefully. I want that for myself too. I don't know how to live anymore, how to survive and be free and healthy. Life became too scary for me. Bad people can poison and frame you and get away with everything. You lose more and more until you lose it all and then suffer around people, not in some jungle or desert all by yourself. It is better to be vulnerable around a pack of hungry lions than where I am. Lions eating me would hurt, but I don't see it as something bad anymore. Better that than from poisoning over a long time. How much I'd like to die, you have no idea. I also want the opposite, but for that I need to be smart and healthy, and studious, which I'm not. I need to be a meditator but I'm not. The world is so amazing for traveling and living if you can, but if you can't, it can get like hell with human hyenas all around. I don't know what to say anymore. I'm handicapped for life. This brain and body and circumstances are just gonna get worse, not better. I can't study. It is aweful. I have hemeroids and constipation and fatigue and so forth, and so many social problems. Let me dehydrate and starve. It would be nice to die and move on to better pastures.