Hulia

I imagined me going out of the house and walking one of the streets. The street was raising steeper and steeper till I made a round and found myself again in the bed. I tried again. This time I took another route. I crossed the road and while I was doing so, I met a neighbor cat Maya, she always crosses the road at this place when she is going to visit her neighbors. While I was walking past her, I´ve become a cat too. I proceeded my way as a cat and wanted to cross another road but traffic light was red, so I stopped and waited. The waiting distracted me, I think, I fell a little asleep and began to dream something else. After I´ve waken up to the junction, where I was staying, I wasn´t sure what I am. I fell on my belly in the middle of the road, because suddenly I´ve become a fish. I tried to cross a road as a fish swinging on my belly. But it turned out that the fishes are not good in crossing the roads. I decided that I am not a fish and looked around trying to understand what I am. The streets were perfectly empty. It confused me and my visualization was over. @Myioko like your drawings!

I can order them on internet!!! So simple.. Magic mushrooms.. I thought they are illegal... Ok, they might be illegal in my country and will be confiscated at the border. But I found close to me a shop which is selling books about magic shrooms. After lockdown I´ll drive over ther and look very deep in the eyes of the shop assistant. I have already found a music for the trip!

@Muhammad Jawad OK, I see 3 g shrooms is better than 5 g. Though chocolate and tea was a nice dessert for the last ones. But I still have no idea where to get them? Just to pick in the wood is too dangerous? What sort is it? The red one with white dots?

@Muhammad Jawad And I was beginning to think where I can get some shrooms or LSD. But... I would die of fear, if I had to go through where you´ve been. I can imagine it. I used to dream often that I am on the edge of the abyss. Or just on the edge, on some edge. Once I dreamt of the edge of 30 cm high, and was paralized by fear. And totally perplexed when awaken. I am not afraid of the monsters and corpses in my dreams any more, they are funny. But the falling perspective made me crazy. I´ve got even fear of height in a real life. Besides these 2 things: to get blind and to get mad are teriffying for me. I have always been afraid of getting mad. I´ve never thought about blindness earlier. But I do recently.

Rather kids than cats And don´t forget: nothing beats own example.

@SamC The main question is not how do you become this or that. But: WHY? Why did you want to be a special snow flake? ( I like this expression) Why do you want to become more ordinary now? You told something about suffering. What exactly caused this suffering? Probably you haven´t achieved the expected result and now you think, you´ll get it by being modest?

Yes, and that all is happening only in your thoughts. It´s like imagining 1 Mio $ on your bank account - it feels good. Then imagining 0 on your bank account - it feels miserable. But there is no bank, no accounts, no values to be distributed. They are all just thoughts.

@SamC It´s easy. Just look attentively around you. All people are suffering. The reasons might be different. But the substance of emotions is the same. Envy is absurd.

@seeking_brilliance NO, we are not really house shopping. We´ve bought already many years ago a house in reality. And very often in my dreams I ask me, why on earth we are buying another house? Especially when it is a big and run down house with suspicious ghosts inside

@seeking_brilliance I see, you spend a lot of your dreaming time indoors. Not the last night but the night before I dreamt also that me and my husband are going to buy a house. This time it was a small and modern house with a lot of glas veranda and light. We went over there to discuss the purchase details and what did I see? Another couple wandering through house and invistigating it for purchase! I hope it was not you with Michael. Because I´ve become a little hysterical.

Oh please.. Aren´t you from Russia? Aren´t you sick of all the propaganda about wickid Western World?

The negative impact of OWN corruption is much higher than the profit driven actions of the entrepreneurs from reacher countries. Leo, you don´t understand the psycology of the people living in 3rd world. They tend to see their poor country as a victim. "Make America great again" works everywhere perfectly (replace America with any country). And if my country is not great, the guilty ones should be found and of course they are not from my country, because my people, my country is special, is great. The other reason, why the guilty ones are always outside is, that the frustration and helplessnes are looking for the way out. It is safer to have the way out outside of own borders, because the 3rd world is not only poor but also mostly governed by dictators. You can live in 3rd world country and hate USA for your misery from the bottom of your heart and everybody will encourage you, nobody will inprison, hurt or threaten your survival. This way is simplier and safer than trying to change something in your country. BUT it won´t work. The people need to take responsibility for their countries / for the societies in which they live.

I dreamed, I was going to marry. There are always a lot of different traditions and rituals connected to wedding. And so the caring guests or relatives have brought me a bathtub. The ritual was to drive in a bathtub through the city on a wedding day. - OK, I thought, I shouldn´t do it in the same way as I do in the bathroom, if I put on a swimsuit, why not? - You really want to do it?? In the cold water? – told me the voice. This should be a guide, because this is what he is doing all the time in my dreams: nagging and making fun of me. I put my hand into the water, I saw also a duvet in the tub by the way, the water was very warm. But it might get colder till the wedding begins, - I thought and refused. And almost immediately regretted. Because some other woman snapped at the tub from me and was inspired by the perspective to drive through the whole city in it. Haven´t I lost a precious chance? Meanwhile a fiancé did his ritual. It was to make a whole round on the wheel of a mill. But he stuck with his trousers on the mill blade in the highest point and was hanging there helplessly.

Language is amazing. Isn´t the word "amazing" amazing? Because it takes its origin in the maze. This is what I see, when I say "amazing". A maze... and a mouse in a maze

Sometimes our yoga coaches (the female ones) tell us at the end of the exercise: "Say thank you to your legs, thank you to your arms, thank you to your neck etc. for a great support during this yoga exercise." I cannot open the well of gratitude either. It´s not a great deal to say thank you to your legs, is it? But I can´t!

I can see the expression without seeing the face, hear the intonation without hearing the voice. Sometimes "hi" is enough. What kind of gratitude are you seeking? Gratitude of someone towards you or gratitude of you towards someone? I understand that everybody is just you, you, you. But the question still remains: what part of you should be the receiver and what part - the supplier of gratitude?

This system has a great potential The systems in which we live are not statical - never (it would be the opposite of "live"), they are DYNAMICAL - always.

@PepperBlossoms My thoughts have made themselves independent. I don´t know, where they float and what they sponge. They surprise me!

I live with my thoughts in parallel worlds. I let them do their silent job. When they are finished I ask them. They answer in words.

Oh yes! I´d love it! I would probably change my name every day! ok, maybe every week.. And then Leo could play a game - use his administrator rights and give all of us the same name, for example "nobody". Just for a couple of days.. It would be fun to see a confusion!

I dream now long dreams with a bunch of events and characters. But I don´t remember. This is just a small piece, that I could snatch from the forgetness. There was a kind of guide, he gave me a pile of pictures, that I had to show to the peolpe in the elevator dependent on the floor they are getting out. I was simalteneously in the elevator feverishly trying to guess the right button for the right floor to get a nice picture and outside waiting for the elevator to stop and open the doors. The elevator stopped, the door opened, there were 2 men inside. I showed them 2 pictures of the hell. THey began to scream and retch. I found it funny that I could produce such a big show with 2 shabby pictures of moderate quality.

I think, this is this survival feature, which Leo always talks about, that hinders us from seeing beauty in everything. We cannot see beauty in the things which threaten our physical or psychological survival.

This is what the corrupted governments tell their people.

I could for example become "Wandering_about" and surprise everyone by seeking brilliance or I could proclaim I am "Seeking_brilliance" and upset everyone by wandering about. That would be fun.

I have no idea what I´d like to embody. There is no character trait that I would prefer. I think, I have phobia. Phobia of self-identification. Of course it is rooted in the childhood. My mother is never tired of identifing everything and everybody she takes hold of.