Striving for more

Feeling competitive now. Psycho time. Zero sum game. Only those supporting me i'll support you too, Everyone else, you're competition. You're gonna lose bitches. Time to conquer the fucking world.

AHHHHH IM NEARLY IN MID TWENTIES. SO MUCH POTENTIAL DOWN THE DRAIN LAW OF FUCKING ATTRACTION, MANIFEST MY DESIRES. I'M TAKING IT I'M TAKING THIS PLANTES RESOURCES, I WILL BE THE 1%, I'M GOING FULL ALPHA MODE.

I feel ashamed about being an incel - whenever I tried to do pickup in my head there's a voice saying "you're an incel you suck!", she knows you're an incel ... why else would you randomly approach her .. Look at you you fucking loser, just accept it you're not a stud, you're socially awkward, she's outa your league" Then any time I got rejected, tested or dismissed this voice would get even stronger & then I'd give up for a few months For this reason I wonder if "fake it till you make it" is good advice. And also If anyone knows how to drown out these voices Also i'm currently not that focused on dating yet as I have health and financial priorities, other self help stuff. But I feel this ongoing pressure due to societal shaming that I am an incel loser, I have even been called this by women before too.

I am praying that I have mercury poisoning and the ACC mercury detox will fix my brain, ... because if it doesn't, I'm fucked. That means I'm genetically useless , OCD, poor memory. If it doesn't work i'm fucked. I need to not have bad cognition. I need at bare mimum average cognition. Anything less and I'm basically an ape with a human body. I am terrified that my cognitive issues / sleep disorders / mental issue are due to bad genetics. I know someone who was born into szychophrenia, nothing she could fucking do. She's been fucked for 15 years. Severe Syzch & she never did any drugs, no trauma, just genetics. Either this thing gives me a good brain, or Im fucked & Life dealt me the wrong card

@Michael569 Why don't you eat eggs or fish every day? Because don't we need to refuel with choline & EPA/DHA every day to be optimal? I currently eat tinned sardines every day as it's cheap & i'm getting my EPA/DHA

Ethereum IMO is the best coin you can invest in. You can also stake it & earn 7% interest, which can turn into compound interest. Just take partial profits gradually & don't leave it all in there because eventually the price surge will collapse after a year or so.

@Rinne Give me a DM & discuss what you want to do & what your goals are. Currently struggling with procrastination. I'll see if we are a good match. It may depend on personality type, interests, gender ect..

Have been dealing with fatigue again today. Took 50MG modafinil, but didn't notice much, was probably too little. Woke up too late, I need a peaceful morning routine > Good music + walk in nature. Was feeling tooo tired at 4PM after procrastinating all day. Had to drink more green tea with dark chocolate & chia seeds + Rishi mushrooms. This actually worked, I feel more energetic now, unfortunately I probably won't sleep till late. But oh well there's a cost to everything. It's annoying because on the one hand i'm like a night owl, but on the other hand waking up early is really good for my mental health (if I can sleep enough) because I can evade the loud busy hustle & bussle of the world & my family. I am VERY sensitive to everything. Sound, light. Mediocre people. My main reason for earning money is so I can live in a cool place (Not a big house). I mean a place with nature & peace. There is no balance for that in the UK. I'm still way too "right brained". I need to be more organized, conscientious, always slacking on my to do list. Bills going unnoticed. Losing money here and there. Getting distracted & addicted to stuff. I need to force productivity in me. I need to squeeze it. It doens't come natural. I'm naturally pretty chaotic & all over the place. But I must ground myself. I always write out a to do list then just forget to look at it again. Sigh. Ok focus on 1 thing at a time. I need that dopamine hit. Small wins : the winner effect.

& still I do agree with Leo that crypto should not be an excuse to avoid developing yourself or working hard to build true wealth! I do not think my investments will make me rich or build sustainable wealth ... But they are helping me have more hope in paying off my debts & moving out & hopefully doing some travelling this year.

Fully agree with the first 2 points. Kind of disagree with the last point. If you are learning & getting your predictions from the right sources, not just some clickbait youtuber, then you will succeed. But it is always a good time to invest in crypto, because in the long run it's gonna go up @tsuki Have you not studied the bull cycle & "the halving" ? Because we're beginning a bull cycle right now, the coins are going up & up & up ... The halving occured May last year > therefore bitcoin became more scarce as miners have less BTC to sell out. So the price increasing. Multiply the cycle with the fact that everyone's terrified of the economy, jobless & wants a way to get some good ROI, the exchanges are getting better, on ramps are so much better than last cycle, so much easier to buy. Way more use cases for ETH & DEFI movement. It is the future of money. I'm lucky because I get all my information from 1 guy who I know & trust & who is a total expert at all of this stuff. I copy his portfolio & bought his course. The investment has already earnt me back far more than I've spent, & if it weren't for his investing strategy, i'd be in a much worse place right now as all my savings would've been eaten up. Just keep an open mind but make sure you listen to the right people. I have left out all the youtube hype, I have my guy, I trust him because he is always been right on his predictions year after year, that's what expertise does.

Crypto is a get rich slow scheme & a get poor quick scheme. If you try to get rich quick, you'll get broke quick. But don't rely on crypto, you need to increase your income so that you can put more in to it in the first place. Do proper research. Do not trade or use leverage unless you have some experience & can control your emotions. Hold for at least a year. You can take partial profits along the way, but don't get afraid when a correction occurs. By the way, if you want to learn from the best, I know a very reputable guy.

(Just responding to your first post here) : Great post, How did you improve your OCD? Do you ever use law of attraction to help you achieve your business goals? Asking because I am considering it but not sure if it is worth trying.

A mix of self - doubt & distractedness & perhpas lazyness is making me lag behind on my tasks today. This has happened 1 to many times before. I want to feel proud this evening. Going to workout for 30 minutes with meditative music. Only 30 minutes, I need the energy but must not over do it or It will stess me.

Just rewatched leo's video on "how to stop comparing yourself to others" ... & "how to stop caring what others think" I thought I had got over these, but that was a niave thought. I must work with what I have, try to accept my limitations. Try to accept I am not James Bond (even though I want to be lol). But ultimately I am me. I am the unique idiosyncratic composition of cells & all the trans-physical elements that make up me. From now on I will ONLY look those I "envy" as inspiring ... although I can't swap me for them, I can achieve some of the good things they have. This is the stage yellow way. & This year I want to care less & less what others think, I want to embody this in every situation in life. It's funny how rare this is. I remember my dad saying he never did yoga because he would look shit. Most people care about the stupidest tiniest things... I want to not give a fuck about the most scary things, I like waking up to a girl in front of her whole group of friends, being willing to mess up & look awkward, but doing it anyway. This is the fundamental reason I want to do pick up (although it is not my primary focus right now is on finances & brain health).

@Average Investor This is true ... Eating a "healthy diet" may not be enough. I need to do more tests. Check for allergies, check my gut. @Star Yeah Probiotics sounds good. My main obstacle with supplements/nootropics: is logistics & knowing which brands are best, effective/ not ripping me off. There should be a thread dedicated to the best brands of nootropics & supplements for each country. (I'm from the UK). Anyone tried Alpha GPC? I feel like I should try this.

Diet hasn't worked for me. Modafinil is the only thing that actually works. But it's not really solving the root issue. I also have to wake up 4-6AM to take it so I can fall asleep before 11-2AM

Feeling so tired & foggggggggy ahhh. People would think I'm just lazy. Slept 8 hours, took supplements, fish. I feel so fucked. It's making me angry AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCKKKKKKKK It's easy to succeed when you're healthy. People talk about being "stage yellow" blahblah Nah bro you're just fucking healthy. You have the energy & cognition to read books, start a business. SIMPLE. LUCKY FUCKS.

I have a really dark room due to bad electrics in my house. I can't change the bulb. I am trying to save money but I need a good lamp or something that will fix this. I'm always not able to focus & this 1 reason why, so annoying. I've already spent $100 on 2 lamps for my desk, but the room still just feels way too dark.

I need to start using google calendar & actually being specific with my days !! I got the best part solved : finally found beautiful productivity music > = Right Brain Handled... Time to get left brain stage yellow > Time to get organized., Clear list tomorrow > With TIMEFRAMES.

LOVING your journal bro ! Currently just reading your first pages ... Man I needed this in 2019/2020 ha, I wanted to go do pickup but I pussied out all the time, kept telling myself I "shouldn't be a creep" seeing someone else pushing it, with the bools to go out alone is so valuable & admirable.

Man this forum's a fucking goldmine. I was "into self development" for several years... But I wasn't really into it. I used to listen to leo's vidoes sometimes, often stoned, often at 4AM, listening to them randomly with no purpose, not connecting the dots, not really taking it in. Even worse I became a useless self help junkie, listening to shitty clickbait youtubers, "Hey, No FAP, Hey watch this 10 minute vid you'll forget an hour later, hey here's how you do your to do list.. BULLSHIT. In spite of all my flaws, I have definitely gotten better at learning : learning what is relevant to me, learning from the right teachers, not fake 10 minute YouTube learning. Deep learning, watching, reading, discussion, reflecting, connecting the dots & finally ... applying. APPLICATION still needs some work, still not practical enough, not active enough.... I MUST NOT become a self help junkie again. I MUST APPLY EVERYTHING I HAVE LEARNT ... Or I didn't learn a thing.

Man this music is so fucking beautiful, helping me concentrate too. Gonna have to share to the forum. Man I love music, it's a shame good music is so vacant in this day & age. One thing that got me real miserable was that my fake friends would always listen to shitty popular music, & i'd have to go along with it cos I didn't have the guts to be authentic, they would told me to switch it off anyway. I dunno what I would do without music, I wouldn't be able to write right now without it. This is why I used to love weed so much, despite all its drawbacks, it amplifies & synergises with music so well.

Fucked up my health the other day, drank too much wine before bed. Switched up today, making multi veg smoothies now & Only eating fish as a source of meet. Cognition feels slightly better. Mental clarity & organization still fucking sucks. I have written out my to do list multiple times, yet I still haven't barely done the top priorities, One of these priorities is so fucking important, it means I might not lose $10K. It's a shame I feel I need modafinil to have any sense of mental clarity & structure to my day, it's like without it i'm running a car without gasoline.

Listening to beautiful & inspiring slow beat instrumental music, a work of mastery that has finally settled my ADHD Brain into a semi flow state. My intuition told me to write, I'm not doing this shit for attention, I'm doing it for myself, but if my writing ever becomes half intelligible & somewhat insightful, I hope it falls upon a curious eye who gains something from my thoughts. Need to slow down, always feeling like life's a race. I failed my youth, was miserable in my teens & pissed away my early twenties. Feel so much pressure to jump ahead, always trying to get rich quick, just need my basic needs sorted. I need to be able to focus & I need more self - control. I just need connection. I just need, I just I need to be able to work without modafinil, can't be relying on a clutch. I need superior intelligence, not (completely) in a narcissistic way, but I want that intelligence to channel into creativity, mastery. I have the passion, not the intelligence. I can't lose all my money, I have to switch up this week. It's hard to sleep when I put all my savings on the line, not even secured yet, someone could hack me today. If I lost it all I'd be behind again. I keep oscillating between positive & negative energy, 1 day I feel so much love for life & the planet, the next day I feel envy, anger, for those who got ahead before me, "Look at their advantages, they had the right friends, they met the right people" Time to stop this chatter, time to go on more walks.

Why would travelling be a trap. Just Do it ... Stop overthinking it. If you're able to travel, don't waste the opportunity. I've been saving up for a while just so I can travel, & now I have to wait for corona. .. I literally can't wait. Travelling is IMO is the pinnacle of self actualization. What else would you remember when your on your death bed other than the diverse beauty of the planet.