Natasha Tori Maru

I guess what I don't understand is, your work is about Truth. This has to incorporate feeling in some respect. Unless you are saying, your work doesn't address all aspects of truth? You have a separate focus within truth? There is a lot of depth to the feeling aspect of existence that I feel is necessary to elaborate on. The only reason I drill down on this is I feel you haven't given a valid reason to omit this deep dive.

That's a shame as I think there is more to explore regarding feeling that is relevant to your work. But who knows, you may come upon how and why feelings weave into your work in the future. I just think you can't delete 'human relations' from your work without hurting the integrity of truth seeking. Agree to disagree

This does give you a rather crafty way out, as language is a framework we all agree to use to attempt to clearly define communications. We do not all agree to use your version of it. I know you claim corruption - I just don't see how that validates bastardising it. It also detracts from the meaning you are trying to convey. And most especially, I would consider precision in communication to be of utmost importance to you. Language isn't perfect, no one says it is. But there are many, many terms, words & definitions that can clearly enunciate any point you wish to make. I did not mean my above statements to express any negativity. I just think you should reconsider the hubris of altering the language you use to communicate as you see fit. I don't want to detract from the topic here (my apologies @integral) but if I am correct, you know Russian yes? So technically you up on me & many other forum users here - we only know English

Don't be afraid to remove all the 'stuff' that sits in your mind. That 'stuff' is going to scream at you that you need it. But you don't need it. Envision, now, its death throes! I promise you, when you remove it, something beautiful arrives in its place. You are preparing yourself to become empty - this is when the energy of the universe will come to fill you up. Good luck!

I think feelings are the base of self will. This has huge avenue for exploration. The fact Leo hasn't touched on the rich tapestry available here says to me he hasn't properly integrated/understood all there is to the feminine. I feel differently toward Leo's use of words (and I mean this as a criticism aimed at growth). I feel he lacks precision with his words. He often uses the same words to describe different nuances within a subject. Another sneaky behavior of his (on the forum) is to run in and state something not quite correct. Or he is proven incorrect by a user, and he wriggles his way out by making up his own definitions of words and language. I admit I often lose a lot of respect for him when he engages in this behavior. It shows un unwillingness to be humble or concede a point. But I digress here, this was simply stated to point out a flaw with Leo's communication (his wanton redefinition of words) that leads to confusion. Overall self-will & feelings, in my mind, are the same force. A vector that draws us to experience. This goes back to God simply experiencing itself, but to do so division must be present. This is also why I think romantic relationships are fundamental to us: the division of the feminine/masculine is meant so that we experience and learn more about each other through the friction of relationship.

Went for a run, had a shower, walked the dog while thinking on this feeling thing. Time is a construct that humans create with our minds. There is not time. All happens simultaneously. If this is the case, and the time dimension is removed, all that exists is each moment in absolute synchronicity. We all would inherently know the same. Meet up when needed. No clocks to check. Just know. But to embody this synchronicity, all must be one. So perhaps thinking through the above, feeling (and love being the highest and most powerful) act as a force to unify us. To push us to this synchronicity. When unified, there is no time. We are then, everything. You love, everything. You are God, and it is a living force in all. So you are God manifest, you are the condensed, coherent energy of God, made up of the very fabric of existence. Here to experience itself. But this can only occur with the construct of time being present. And inherent to this is the feeling dimension that arises. So, feeling acts to synchronize all to supersede time. All happens now, due to complete coherence & synchronicity with each other. Time is just God's creation to enable separation and learning. And feelings arise to push us to synchronize into one. Every evil act is therefor a division. Necessary to learn that unity, synchronicity, is the path. The polarity exists to learn that the more evil one enacts, the further they get from God. Bad feelings arise from evil acts. Divide. Maybe this is how feelings transcend pure survival, and also act as a conduit to propel us to God consciousness.

I do agree with your assessment regarding Leo's bias toward the masculine. I think his strength there is that he is able to translate these concepts and communicate them in a format that speaks to men, who often need to use 'head/mind' heavy concepts to deconstruct & integrate concepts. I am hoping his next step is understanding & integrating his current concepts through the feminine. I use metaphor and simile to try to understand concepts and how they integrate into a system. Because to be quite frank, I am frustrated by the limitations being a human has! But I am here to work with these limits. And learn. Often, I use mathematical concepts to try to reduce things down into constituents and substitute for x or y when I am too caught in undefined words. I do believe 'feelings' are an integral part of consciousness as experienced by humans, but the way I understand this is, they are just energy. Just vibration and frequency. All living things experience energy, we just happen to differentiate feelings out, and label them. Like the 'strong force', 'weak force', 'gravity', 'magnetism' etc If feelings propel change, as @integral points out, then they are a sort of force in space. Time is the frame. IE change = distance / time (much like velocity = distance / time). If we are all this 3 dimensional space, feelings are descriptions of length and direction with time. Making them a driver of reality. This metaphor has holes in it though, as we know time is an illusion and human construct. Time in 3d space is also not constant as E=MC^2 shows. Also, if we hold time as constant, reality breaks down into infinite realities where all things happen simultaneously. All outcomes happen. Can feelings be the force that can breach the boundary of each reality? That pull you out of one reality and into another? The frame is a huge problem for me!

He was sober for a short period before taking medication through a doctor. But his pathology was so extreme he had to do something, as his basic ability to function was bricked to all hell. I was his boss at the time in retail, and he was actively seeing shit on the sales floor when interacting with customers. Needless to say, I did spend a lot of company time and money orchestrating shifts and environments that wouldn't trigger him, in an effort to protect him so he didn't lose his job. He was very much hell bent on self-deletion from some heavy trauma. @CosmicExplorer I agree that alcohol and cigarettes are serious substances that can destroy lives, but the financial corruption propelling those industries is so large and systematically ingrained... the problem is huge and multi-level. No easy solution. It is intertwined with greed and personal prosperity at the expense of others. Not to mention how ingrained alcohol is in our culture. It punctuates almost every celebratory event you can name in the west. Alcohol is more damaging than weed, in my opinion, but purely because of how much more widespread it is. It is hard to say if both substances were used equally which would be worse. @Leo Gura's recent post is interesting. Personally, I do not think drugs should be criminalized. It clogs up the prison system. People should not be punished for addiction. They should be treated. My take will always lean towards compassion. Legalizing? Thats another matter. Unfortunately, the low consciousness state of most of modern society means drugs are more likely to be abused than used as a tool. It's like handing nukes to a child.

He didn't stop until he was well into visually and audibly seeing shit without any connection to another sound or object. It took a good month, me and all his mates, to convince him shit was cooked

Good conversation, good brain food. Much appreciate

Thanks, indeed you also! Your prose has excellent pace and structure. When you read it, the cadence helps illustrate your point as it has a pleasing rhythm Unless you are frustrated - then it is a staccato explosion

A fuckton, chronic blow-my-brains-out to escape life amounts. By the time he went chronic with it... consistently for 4-5 months would be my approx He was 32.

Yes I agree, it's just a model I currently use to try to understand feelings as a process and system. They exist, they have an energetic pattern to them, yes. Are they useful for survival? Absolutely. I feel there is some confluence & coherence between feelings, their purpose, and God. But I admit its just something I purely intuit. I need to think on this more

Yep, they stabilized him enough to begin coming back down to reality. Around 8 months of anti-psychotics and abstinence from all drugs They absolutely TRASHED his body though. Destroyed his muscle mass (wastage and atrophy) and he put on a profound amount of weight.

Do you think maybe it would be better to define the act of observing beauty as not the feeling itself - but your response to it as the feeling? IE observing the beauty is the action, and the feeling of joy and pleasure is the feeling 'reaction' ? I think I am caught trying to understand you as beauty isn't a feeling to my knowledge

Tracking back to the schizophrenia topic directly - this is my anecdote from my experience with my ex who went through it (if any are interested): It started with hearing odd things within sounds, and progressed steadily from there until experiencing full auditory command hallucinations. So, as an example (which he commonly reported), the sound of a drain gurgling. He would often ask me 'did that sound just like, say something? It sounds like children laughing when the drain empties, can you hear that?'. He would fixate on listening to the specific sound, analyzing it every time. It went from 'laughter sounds' to 'someone mumbling' to 'someone talking'. Right before he went to speak to a professional and start medication, these 'sounds within sounds' had jumped out to be independent voices telling him to do things. Checking the windows and blinds was a common command hallucination where the voices told him there were people about. Constantly opening and closing the blinds. Interrupted sleep to check the blinds.... The above was a similar story regarding visual hallucinations - where he would catch something in the corner of his eye. Soon he was seeing cockroaches flitting about. Shadows turning into animals - which in the same progression as above, moved to an animatronic dog that spoke to him constantly. I had no idea how to deal with this other than to be there with him, and constantly repeat 'I know you see that L, and its real for you, but I want you to know I am here also, and I don't see that'. I don't know what his full direct experience was like, but these were how his symptoms manifested and grew until they interrupted his ability to function. By the end he was terrified he wouldn't get his sanity/normal brain function back. It didn't help his doctor's answer to the above was 'We really don't know, some people recover, some never' This was from cannabis.

For myself I think of thoughts as an electrical pattern of energy, a nerve pulse that has a frequency. That frequency in the brain creates a field, which gives rise to the emotion. I use the analogy of an electrical toroid wire with a current applied: we know a current passed through a wire induces a force called magnetism. So in the above example - the thought 'electric current' arises, which induces an emotion 'magnetism' that has a polarity. The magnetism or 'emotion' in the body has very real effects: blood pressure can rise or lower, heartrate, breathing etc. This emotion will effect your state, and what you draw or push away from you. As I cannot clearly define a thought or emotion, I find this analogy to work so far to understand the mechanism of feelings as a system. By understanding these emotions are like magnets, they will attract me to what I require through their polarity. God wants to experience itself through me, as I am the fabric of existence. So love, as a feeling, a magnetic polarity, draws me to everything, connects. I am in love with existence, so I draw the entirety of the universe through, and of me. The feeling is the connection. To be so in love with the moment and existing as to feel all, have all emotions. Embody God. I should add that lesser emotions that do not have the same power level of love, as they do not always unify, definitely have a role in survival, as our existence is a system

They are clean in the sense of being sterile, as infection control is an entire department that comes in and assess areas we fit out as part of commissioning. But clean in terms of smells and scents as per @integral's definition in relation to his triggers? No way. Smoking is a huge example - many mentally ill people still regularly smoke in acute adult mental health facilities. The nurses hold onto their smokes and dispense them at regular intervals under struct supervision. It's rather well known nicotine assists in keeping these patients stable as it is a powerful dopaminergic drug. I have witnessed these conversations almost every time we have been to these facilities. 'WHERES MY SMOKES, I NEED MY SMOKES' On the floorplan of a big refurb we did, there is an outdoor courtyard dedicated to this. These patients walk straight back into the ward, carrying these smells

No, love is a feeling and an emotion to embody

@samijiben It is a disservice and insult to Leo's work to engage in trolling like this. ignored

You haven't given my proof any thought

Haha, It is more that I find maths useful to clearly and logically express a deduction in reasoning without any fluffy language that can be misinterpreted. I still think what I wrote is true, and I am very open to it being disproven. I don't mind being incorrect

I'm trying to understand. Truth =/= Feeling Love = Feeling Love = God Therefore, Truth =/= God

Keen to hear the answer here also. Mainly because I experience all as vibration, frequency, energy. So I can integrate feelings into this experience easily as they are another frequency. Confluence & coherence are the reasons for matter arising in this reality, all lit up with the energy of god. So making something happen is a matter of increasing coherence of a system. So god is everything, everywhere. I am merely the manifestation of this coherent system of energy, frequency and vibrational alignment. The energy of the absolute creating my experience is made up of the very fabric of reality itself. Consciousness gives rise to matter in its slow, concentrated vibration.

Are your cuticles fucked up and brutalised? Dead skin build-up and overgrowth like an evil fungal infection? I've got the treatment for you! Step 1: Soak with Blue Cross cuticle remover Step 2: Gently use cuticle sticks to push cuticle and rub away dead skin Step 3: Moisturise with Jojoba Oil I have tried many different ways of managing cuticles, this has been the best by far. I learned this from nail-techs & advice from online. I did go through a phase of literally cutting them down with a v shaped tool, however all this did was cause them to return like fucken weeds with dragon armour. I do my own nails as I enjoy the process so much, I never pay for it to be done. This works great for feet also! The Cuticle Remover is basically a depilatory, so it will dissolve any dead skin and leave a renewed surface.