Natasha Tori Maru

I am a female and I don't understand myself in the slightest. All I know is its pretty twisted up in the Tash universe. I think there isn't much self left to understand >.>

@Judy2 I have a lot of experience with eating disorders through the pervasive nature it has afflicted the women in my family. My sister, mother, grandmother - it goes back inter-generationally. My sister went from extreme anorexia to uncontrollable binging (as you describe), to bulimia. The body is smarter than your brain and the binging is a rebound from the restricting. Grelin and leptin hormones do this. They are more powerful than your executive brain function and will totally override rationality in an attempt to survive. This will result in action compulsions (eating). Thought compulsions also tie in - fixation on calories, clean eating, counting, macros. It is part of the eating disorder itself and feeds it. Enhancing its grip. Can I ask if you attempt to restrict after overeating? Eating disorders are more complex than they seem. Part of the issue is the brain is in a semi-malfunctional irrational state where it cannot rationally realise 'having bodyfat is okay'. This is caused from malnutrition. The brain is mostly fat - and fat has more calories than carbohydrates and protein. So it is usually restricted and impacts executive functioning. Do you have OCD? These go hand in hand - a common comorbidity. It's about control. All my love & healing to you - I am happy to DM <3

@Bashar Do you mean craft? All the stuff I find is hearsay so I don't bother posting it here. Very difficult to find any real facts. A LOT of conspiracy. I personally think there are real UFOs and government ones held with the big weapons manufacturers. Pure speculation.

TBH I dislike Corbell also - its the way he comes across. It is like he doesn't present findings in a clean, calm and professional way like George Knapp (who I rate). He is quite fanatical with his delivery which I find off-putting. Unprofessional. In addition, his stream of consciousness rants are difficult to digest because he is adding parenthesis on top of parenthesis. Digressing into the next fucken dimension! I get it, it's passion. But it makes me think the guy has lost touch with reality. De-lulu Whereas Luis Elizondo I genuinely think is a disinformation agent. He comes across as much more professional but less trustworthy. Constantly hiding under hats - lowered eye contact. Closed body language. He is extremely controlled and unnatural in his videos. Makes me distrust him. Hiding in sight. Adding my disclosure this is based on my subjective cold reads across multiple videos.

@Salvijus You beat me to it, you scoundrel! But I have MORE TO ADD So, this clip you linked above is for the 2027 'object' that's been banging around recently. Interestingly enough - I remember when Jeremy Corbell made a statement about a 'lie about a ship coming in 2027' - conversation below Could be nothing - could be a direct link and reference. Jeremy Corbell "Your government now wants you to know one truth, and that truth is that UFOs are real. They've already done told you. Sometimes, when you want somebody to know a truth, it's so you can set them up to believe a lie, and that's coming. I have zero doubt that lie is coming." Producer: "What is the lie?" Corbell: "Specifically, you want me to say it right now, for real, real? On camera, to be put in the show?" Producer: "Yes." Corbell: "Okay. Problem with that: If we tell the lie before it's told, they can adapt. That wouldn't be wise. I'll tell you privately, but I would really think about if you want to put this in your show. For real. That's a real thing I'm telling you. So, will you think about it before putting it in your show?" Producer: "Absolutely." Corbell: "Okay. So UFOs are real, and they've been here a long time, and that's the truth. But the lie is coming. All indications, like ALL of them, is that that lie is going to be that there is a craft slowly making its way to us here on Earth. And that is the lie they're gonna want you to believe. "It's nuanced, how they explain that, the nature of that threat. But that 100 f**king percent is the lie you are going to be told. You even got a date. People been whispering a date for a long time now. I know where that lie comes from. I know, specifically, what document from the 70s initiated the idea of that lie. A classified document. That is the lie you will be told. You're gonna be told that there is a craft on its way to Earth. That's the lie. "Maybe I'm wrong. Hope I'm wrong. I sent you two texts today with a year (Messages showing 2027 are shown on a cell phone). Not from me. Nope, I'm not gonna propagate that lie. I'm not gonna be part of it, I'm not going to say it to the camera. Everybody knows. Just start paying attention. And they'll change the date - especially if they see this - things will change. Because maybe I'm trustworthy, maybe I'm worthy of your trust, maybe I've told you the truth the whole way through it and now and you can verify it. If that's the case, then I'm f**king dangerous. "You've been told the truth about UFOs for a long time now. It's been pretty orchestrated, it's been pretty clear, and it's using people that are telling the truth and wanna tell the truth. Ultimately, they want you to know something. They want you to know UFOs are real. Thank God, we're finally there, we're all there now. They want you to know the truth. But why [do] they want you to know that truth now. I hope I'm wrong, but it's terrifying. Think about it "Maybe it's good to get ahead of it, call it out now, before they do it. I'll be called crazy. That's okay."

I've read the Book of Not knowing twice over. Re-reading juices these books for more every time...

Yes! I copy in external ones - like SO! 😈 But to do so requires my phone's assortment or searching + ctrl v, ctrl c

DUDE YEZZZZ That book was great. It's not just about sexual seduction - it applies all over the place. I use techniques from it in all facets of life. Great recommendation

OP have you seen anyone die a natural death? Underneath the ego is consciousness. God. There is no ego becoming anything - the ego is just survival. When you pass away there is no more need for survival. So the ego sloughs off. The body comes into a state of being as brain functions slow and cease. You witness this ego dissolve, and a state of pure being shine out of the dying person. Unmistakable presence of God. It's the same in the birthing process. Have you seen that? I saw my little brother being born. The big flaw in your post is that you think when the ego ceases there is still this 'thinking' 'concepts'. There is no thinking going on to 'convince ego it is God'. That's gone. Honestly seeing someone die a natural death with show you in a way no words can. How do you even know you are in your body? You just assume that. Your consciousness under the ego could be located well outside the material containment of your body. You're all backwards here. Upside down and inside out.

Now now now. The real important question is - would we fuck the robots if they had a temperature controlled, self-lubricating fleshlight installed... where it counts?

@Xonas Pitfall The funny thing is - baboons are actually violent and terrifying. They are well known to rip the skin off people's faces...

Haha man the whole spiritual community is choking on his cock at this point - they tried and now it's all too much Every time I go back to YouTube the algorithm vomits up more

I find it very difficult. It has been getting easier when engaging in more prolonged meditation practice. Half the issue is the rapid nature of thought. My awareness of the thoughts is slower than the thoughts themselves. It's a constant attempt to bring the speed of the two together. Again it comes down to what I want to get out of the practice - because I have 3 types I go between: dreamstates/hypnagogic work, sessions where I want to stop all thought, and sessions where I just want to witness and keep up. To be honest I only make headway when I go HARDCORE. Like no stimulus. No music. Sit and stare at the letter A for an hour until everything is moving like a mirage. Until I don't even know what the thing is I am staring at. My concept of the letter A dissolves. Awareness and being is then raised to a level I can witness the ping ping ping of constant thoughts like notes. When that happens the thoughts are perceived as slower - so I can sort the wheat from the chaff, so to speak... This is why trying to sing a song or recall a song in my mind is good fun - I can't really think at the same time I play the song in my mind. Too many thousands of notes. Like the thousands of thoughts... I think of it like a dog's sense of smell... they live in another world. Humans blind to it. Something there we simply have no sense for - OR - have we just not refined the sense enough? OR - have we not removed enough of the cataract of survival to perceive and sense?

@Emerald I can say I am more solitary than most. And I have had periods in my life of no contact with others - a month at the maximum. I was only able to endure it because there was a goal and meaning - making solitude very tolerable. I need depth of connection. So quality shits on quantity for me. And it only needs to be one person. In lieu of that - most of my casual social needs are met through going out alone. Art shows. Jazz clubs. Conventions. Taking the laptop or sketchpad to a cafe. People watching in large energy spaces with little contact. Just witnessing. These acts satisfy much of my social needs when I am more isolated. I don't need to interact per se, just witness.

Yeah hell, yeah I mean, I agree here totally. I am good enough at reading others - they broadcast intentions through actions rather than words. I really appreciate when someone uses leverage for that effortless outcome. When a man takes charge and I am comfortable I sink into playful femininity. Otherwise I am taken out of that element which reduces sexual tension and play - I want the masculine/feminine contrast in that situation. I don't want to be a boss bitch any more than I have to (I don't even enjoy it at work, but I have to put on the red stilettos for that role. Again its just a roleplay to me and I switch off immediately when done). In fact, skilfully navigating someone to sex - the final act is a nod to masculinity itself by consummation. A confirmation by action that skilful manipulation was utilized. Provided both parties are mature and aren't approval seeking that is. I use the term manipulation here without any negative associations.

I get around it. I am similar in mindset. You're method, I imagine, would also serve other purposes. My diet is simple, structured, regimented. I don't need to think about it. I just do it. It frees up an unimaginable amount of time and energy. No thinking. Just being and doing. Better on the wallet. Honestly most people just have NFI how much time and energy they spend on thinking about food. What to have? The next meal. Using it as a reward. Cooking, shopping... etc. All related to decision fatigue. Endless options. You might not be like this. People don't understand how I do so much with my time. But it comes down surgically removing anything that wastes energy.

I want to see how you are doing at 35-40. Only because youth can carry you hard, and at the above ages the body changes quite suddenly. I've done lots of diet changes to address Hashimoto's. At the moment I only eat meat, eggs, vegetables, black coffee and green tea. Some cottage cheese added in also. I feel amazing - but boy oh boy people cannot stand someone so disciplined around food. Even when you don't push anything on others.

I feel like I am witnessing the dialogue of my own mind when I attempt to shred up understanding and juice reality for more truth...

I was thinking on this and the process outlined. You would probably naturally screen out more mature woman by using force to orcastrate sex. But again I think the overall aim here is to obtain sex, and this will get in the way of that aim. The women who are inclined to sleeping with men who push would be naturally more likely to take risks - and be less mature. Also perhaps less self assured and able to advocate for themselves ( lower self esteem ) - due to many woman prioritizing harmony at the cost of sovereignty. Alcohol also lowers all natural inhibitions. Higher chances of crazy. I think if you slowed down as you say - you may be more likely to find a woman who would sleep with you, and be a long term prospect. But if the aim is sex I can see why you would use leverage and some measured force to jump the logistical issues. That push would be seen as a red flag to mature woman so naturally filter them out - which is what you want if the aim is sex only. It makes sense living close to a club or bar would help you pull successfully. I saw this living 10 or so minutes from the biggest mecca for indie bars and clubs during my 20s (in Melbourne).

@Leo Gura for sure - duly noted

Rofl post some animals n shit. Kittens and puppies. Sugar glider cuddle puddle But knowing Leo it will be like a lion vs a black mamba vs eagle survival face off

Yes, we see you lurking - invitation to play Come to have your worldview expanded (or contracted, should you so choose.... ) + stay for the BANTER

@Leo Gura Overall I really actually value these perspectives - I essentially went 40 years completely blind to the troubles men face, and the difficulties balancing their sexual desires with life in general. Because I see this from a female lens, I sometimes get tripped up digesting what is said when I am (as a woman) being pushed into a frame when it doesn't always apply. I think in a broader sense I want other women to realise the plights men face, so I want them to be able to listen without any knee-jerk reactions. Palatable truth I appreciate!

My intention isn't to try to undermine any of your points here - as I think they are valid. I ask for further nuance because there are many users reading this - and not just them - many, many lurkers who also read these forums. Your statements carry weight so naturally others listen. The burden of power. When you lump all of a gender or definition into a category you limit it. I think it is valid for me to point out more nuance is needed. You must admit your statement was black and white and without refinement could be viewed as myopic. It's not an excuse to push away this as 'If I have to state instances/nuances where this doesn't apply every time I would be here forever' when just ONE word 'most' changes the entire message of the statement. Precision. All I wished to do was prevent people from misinterpreting your statement. Nothing more.

No comment on the testing. I am saying there needs to be a distinction that this might be the case for most women in that environment. But not all