Natasha Tori Maru

E - X - A - C - T - L Y One hundred percent This applies to so much of life. Bias. Even when having a discussion with someone - they aren't truly listening to the information presented. Most of the time they are listening for the parts that will confirm what they already know, or that conform to what they believe. Clients I work with walk away with a completely different understanding of what was discussed, as an example. It is rare that someone can hold empty space for an idea or experience free of context that may contradict their views. We need to approach everything from a deep place of not-knowing. Openness and curiosity. Clarity. Ignorance flows from certainty. Great post - appreciated!

@UnbornTao Was going to link this myself but you beat me to it - interested in the counter argument

@AudibleLocket Very, very difficult and heart-wrenching situation - my compassion <3 Been on both sides. Also have gone on a 'break' to reassess. This never worked for me. I should have just cut it clean off as it prolonged the pain, anguish and grieving process. When a relationship is ending, or you are considering ending it, it is literally as if something in your reality is dying. What you had may end - that is a death of your existence as you know it, so it does feel like your guts have been ripped out of you. One really important factor in my opinion - what is she actively doing to take responsibility for her pathology? Being brutally honest - it is just not enough to use pathology, anxiety, depression etc as an excuse for any sort of poor behavior. This can include not living up to responsibilities and commitments, or treatment of you directly. It sounds like she is on the right track - meds - but medication is NOT a magic bullet that fixes shit, or enables one to not work hard in therapy and creating a structure to support you while you recover. Serious mental health issues require commitment to overcome. Most relationships can move through this, but your partner needs to take full responsibility. Make no mistake - I am not saying anything is her fault - it is not her fault at all. But it is her responsibility to herself, to you, and to the relationship to be doing everything she can do get better. It sounds like enrolling in another course is the wrong move - that energy needs to go back to her rehabilitation. If she cannot hold down a job, how will she be able to handle college? That being said - I do not know the full circumstances around this, and the job loss may be due to things not connected to depression. In addition, people with depression often need many avenues for support. It does both of you no good if she relies on you exclusively for this. Fundamentally, is sounds like you are growing and she is stuck. The above question is the one to think on. If she is really going hard at self-healing it will be worth sticking around to assist her if you feel there is a lot to salvage - do you think you see this commitment from her? I write this having been through some serious mental health issues myself - being in her position directly. I did not take responsibility for my healing - and I hurt all those around me for a long time.

@Schizophonia Hmmm you strike me as quite aware and interoceptive. I try to give my perspective and advice knowing I have a different way of doing things. My personal bias is toward experiential work and testing for real feedback in concrete reality, as a way to confirm insights I have had. I think for your unique brand of human - your current attention is on interception and pattern recognition. Concepts, frames, ideas. If I were in your direct shoes I would be attempting to empty this out and really jump into society, work, and interaction with others. I would be testing out these insights every day in contrast to my direct experience. Obviously I have some views and frames on anima/animus and integration - but I feel you have a nice little addiction to concepts you are feeding. So my advice might be to just strike out into the world with as much authenticity and lowered fear as possible. You need to experience the direct friction that arises with in social domains - because that friction will be the area you need to investigate to integrate any shadow you currently feel is coming from you. Pay attention to when you are feeling something intensely in a situation - there is self and ego there, attachments, shadows. I could be wrong - maybe you do get into societal domains for hours every day. I do very much approach the world having loved and immersed myself in concepts and philosophy. But I had to throw it all away and jump without fear. Sort of like learning the system, then going out and checking reality so you can get direct feedback - and then with that wisdom knowing exactly what rules can be bent or broken with little consequence... Anyway not sure where I am going with the above - shooting in the dark really I would start with throwing away all beliefs - go out in a state of not knowing - because those beliefs you have are like a cataract over reality. They will be completely inhibiting you from seeing the true message needed to be received. Also - are you really clear on what you are seeking/trying to achieve at this present moment? If you are unclear about what experience you are chasing - you hamstring yourself

Holy crap - the following is no lie ( @Carl-Richard @Carl-Richard @Carl-Richard ) There is a small bench along the river I walk along each morning. I do a 15 minute moment of focused presence (on my experience: feeling, sensation, sound, light and colour) here, each morning, before the insanity of engaging in society takes over. Today something cold and wet flung out at me (it is very windy in Melbourne, Australia at the moment) Initially I didn't register anything, but then a strange, moving, cold and clammy wiggly sensation was perceived near my neck. It was this bastard (below) - so I actually came directly to this thread to post: 'I sat on a bench on a nondescript day, and my experience was one of wild frogs being flung at me while meditating, under gumtrees by the river ' ... only to find a frog already waiting for me!!!

Where tf is this self being annihilated? You cannot annihilate shit that doesn't exist. /end thread

Most I found was pirated and on Napster/ LimeWire - that was if you wanted a soft copy locally stored But there were small amounts of streamable videos and music / audio you had to wait to load 😭 The worst was when you went to a website and it had images/banners all over it - rip cup of tea return in 5 minutes 😅

@Eskilon My earlier posts rap a bit more - unfulsafiable, philosophical dead end and... Look at the current shitfight that happens with this topic. I strategically tap out because it's a waste of time. It's just my personal preference at play.

@UnbornTao Agree, good insights! I tend to think with subjects such as these - whatever side the user appreciates is based on how this makes them feel. This also explains the, ah, fervor, expressed, when engaged in verbal jousting

I feel the same because it is unfalsifiable I think people get fixated on it because of implications

@Leo Gura To kick this example out to reality - triangles are also the most structurally sound shape in construction & engineering 🙃

@Inliytened1 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💀 I could be jabbering to myself right now - lucky I have the dog to pretend like I am not just talking to myself. Nice little delusion

I just find it unfalsifiable even if logical - its a dead end to me

@Carl-Richard That one was too easy with my reference - just got home from the walk Yes, turds were had:

@Inliytened1 Oh no I am not being lured in - nice try Just remarking on how heated and prolonged the discussion is. There's no fight in me! Mercy !

Solipsism Ouroboros: the never-ending pooping of turd arguments only to be picked up after itself like a dog More power to you with the endurance battle here haha I would have tapped out ages ago, lest I put my face in a lawnmower

Hmmm could be a few things. Could be you are naturally gravitating away from the 'fun' of the thrill and adrenaline, and seeking more peace (very natural on the spiritual path). You might begin to feel the consequences of actions being out of alignment with personal truth ( a big issue for most, as the consequences aren't as apparent as they would be, like if you stuck your hand in the fire). This fractures your integrity (you are more brittle and less resilient) and spoils experience. Could be some attachment to self & ego - worry about how you are perceived (outside our control really). Loss prevention is interesting though - I love profiling and body language reading. I used to work managing big box multi-million dollar retail stores. It was a big deal. When confronting people I did begin to get that horrible 'rising throat tension' in anticipation. Do you get that also?

I think you nailed it All distinctions dissolving and the fear of it. Unwilling to surrender

It has gotten better the last couple of days It is a free site so I am grateful nonetheless. I still remember fucking dialup taking the home landline. Screams from family members wanting to make calls... Opening a link to a song, leaving to do some shit, and returning later for it to be loaded

@TheGod Are you feeling the illusion of the created self slip away - like a familiar environment - as you move into a state of awareness without a lot of distinctions? An alternative could be a lot of repressed emotional stuff coming up - before the self can be transcended it needs to be completely embraced, accepted. You need to go into and through it - and that can be rough

I work as a project manager in construction. The moment I try to use force, or think I have any semblance of control - it all goes to shit. I've completed maybe, 6 new medical centres, 3 bunkers for nuclear experiments (synchrotron) and countless smaller refits and extensions. The project is totally out of my control when live. I had to realise this before I had any success: inclement weather, logistics, contractor scheduling, sickness, approvals, deadlines, cost blowouts. The whole this is a nightmare of constantly shifting variables coming from the reality of the actual jobsite, the clients and stakeholders and a bunch of mistaken beliefs. I always always ALWAYS have the most success by surrendering totally to the flow of the job sequence, keeping a very keen eye on progress, and simply acting to move some element or apply my energy when the probability of success seems greatest. And all I do is just gently divert my awareness - like a spotlight checking over it all. I engage with the flow and let it take me, and simply act with wisdom when I see opportunity. But in the end I have ZERO control. I've has some miracle like shit line up to make a deadline.

You will realise you WANT to be right here, right now. You will realise there is nothing else more filled with wonder, awe, mystery and surprise than the present. Just right now in your current iteration you have completely forgotten

@Schizophonia Essentially do I take the overall question to be: 1) Let go of all the toxic masculine traits / habits (higher effort) 2) Stay in the same pattern that is more natural (lower effort) to achieve attracting a woman?

Hmmmm if you are familiar with AI - it spits out lots of fancy examples but dances around the question, with difficult topics such as these. I see patterns 🤣🤣🤣🤣💀