Natasha Tori Maru

@Elliott Stop responding to everything a moderator says as if their response is an attempt to moderate you or the discussion. We are users as well. A moderators opinion is just that - an opinion or addition to a discussion. It is not a corrective measure. Corrective measures are explicit for a reason. Would love to speak to you in real life.

Yeah and I am contributing to the discussion - highlighting that there are issues you cannot foresee until you are in the role. Do you want to give it a try?

There are many assumptions being made about moderating going on here. Just be aware until you have moderated a forum, especially one such as this, you won't really understand what you are proposing. This is all just theory, ideas and concepts. Reality is far, far different.

Slippery slide mode or there some traction on the paws? My girl is terrified of aluminium - the sound gets her

Heh heh heh The simple value exchange of a toilet. Deposit my goods, takes it away. There when I need it, where I left it. Performs a function in my life. When it's needy though. Oh boy. We need external assistance to service the bastard, just to deal with its (cough) shit!

I hear that - 100% with you Been a very similar process to my own. I am not sure if I could ever claim to have transcended shit. It would just be self deception if I spoke of overcoming all the cumulative conditioning I have gathered through life experience.

I think you aren't necessarily disagreeing if I understand the above. 'Awareness is the first step' as they say. Key word there being FIRST. And the movement would be toward healing. We can be fully aware of our issues and still be dealing with the brains maladaptive mechanisms operating like a reflex. Or a program. The brain is weird with trauma and experience in general. If only it worked in probabilities - instead it works in extremes in isolation. If we have one bad experience we tend to totally hone in on that ONE experience and extrapolate/find meaning there. And our behaviour and thinking is formed from the extreme experience. Instead of looking at all the different versions and outcomes (probabilites) of the experience that were more benign in nature. This seems to me to be a survival mechanism; pay attention to the lion chasing you after you and remember it always, and not the pebble in your shoe that finds its way in on the gravel road you walk down each morning.

I am intrigued over how we all conceptualise love and marriage. I view it as a dissolution of the barriers between two people. Bringing raw authenticity and truth to the surface of each partner and how they view each other - and accepting. And not in a way that degrades boundaries; more about seeing the truth of the person as separate, and experiencing what is created between them - love & unity. Romantic drive appears like a poor man's human way of attempting to reach the the sublime threshold of God's love through another, in union.

Nope - that's not guaranteed. Where you hold and put on fat is genetic. 100% focus on more important things. It's not so black and white 'I must do this OR that'. Do this AND that. Be a metrosexual, its fine. Hardmaxxing is not. But do not become attached to appearance and looks. Build a solid foundation of what you want to DO in life and how you can provide value (if you want to participate in the benefits of society ie medical aid, roads, electricity, delivery, gas, water, then you have to give back in some way). You're going to end up old and saggy - and that's fine. Looks fade. There is nothing wrong with aging or not being super good looking. Build something you can base your life on, not something that is going to disintegrate.

Its all G I learned a while ago when in brainstorming or design meetings at work that shooting someone's idea down isn't good. It can polarise them against you, or just demoralize em'. It is much better to try to find a way to make it work with adjustments or proposals and build from there. The best ideas always form this way. Of course there are times when a total slap-down happens - usually when there is some rudeness or impolite shit necessitating boundaries being drawn in how the idea is expressed - but that is different entirely. Or when the idea is really not grounded in reality and totally unfeasible. Occasionally it is also difficult to address an idea that is so so wrong it isn't worth the time going into just how many which ways it is crazy! I haven't ever seen any sort of problematic stuff from you anyway, fwiw. Just the AI use, but that is totally different to this discussion.

I don't mean to be rude - but this could be a 'you' thing also. Rules are there for a reason - but they can always be bent and broken. The whole gig of moderating is flirting with this grey area (for me anyway). You could ask @Leo Gura for his opinion. Ultimately as much as we would love for this to be a democracy - Leo gets to call all shots. And he can break or make any rule he sees fit. We just arbiter them with best judgement. You could always ask Leo what he looks for. Dunno! I mentioned emptying as a possible way to incorporate @Monster Energy's idea. I did not 'keep talking about' emptying. And this does not mean I missed the point. You have no idea what I understood as to what you are talking about. Non-acknowledgment doesn't mean what you think it means. But you are wrong in your assessments of what I quoted. Take care.

Unfortunately trauma and its longstanding effects are often not conscious. Even when thoughts regarding traumatic events are not in the conscious mind, or when we do not think on the past, this does not mean they are not influencing us in the moment. We cannot truly assess ourselves for trauma. People build maladaptive thinking / coping / action mechanisms rooted in trauma that remain within the psyche long after memory of the events have faded. This is why we often need external friction from reality (ie a person, loved one, therapist etc) to show us the 'lumps in our gravy' that need to be worked on. It is also why chatGPT is a shit therapist because we often require being challenged by an outside source to reveal these mechanisms. And LLM's can be sycophantic bastards

@Monster Energy I am curious - do you think if we stopped moderating the drama would detract from the discourse here? I would just genuinely be concerned that users would build grudges and flood the forum with back and forth. Burying the good stuff.

@Elliott Your theory on how this site would function with zero moderation, and your projection of your own bad boundaries around acceptable behaviour, are combining to perpetuate a delusion. Overall, as a person and not just a moderator, I worry about you. You can perceive this as an attack, but I assure you it isn't. You don't even have to care.

I would love this!

There could be a slight point there regarding authenticity outside of a discussion around arguments. Especially as your initial use of the forum was heavily filtered through AI - which can be a tool to attempt to manipulate how we are seen. Heavy AI use blocks genuine connection and authenticity.

rofl 🤮🤮🤮

@James123 it's not about knowing what we are talking about. It's about moderating to keep the place cohesive and constructive.

@Monster Energy if you are after a place for emptying, you could propose a free-for-all subforum with no moderation. My only concern with that - there's a solid possibility a lack of rules free-for-all area may bleed into the rest of the website and degrade dialogue. Personally I would empty into a journal Are you afraid of being banned? Afraid of violating a rule and having a moderator attend? These might be questions to ponder. Overall of you want to see an example of heavy moderation where disagreements of opinion are moderated, rather than just poor behaviour - Reddit lol

No. Not personal attacks. Attack ideas not character. Growth comes from pressure, not things that can constitute abuse. 'this forum isn't supposed to be that' - while I agree, this is an ideal. Ideals sometimes do not measure up to reality. Just be polite and respectful to others. It really isn't hard. If you feel triggered egoically empty that into another medium, return and address the points raised. As soon as you devolve to character attacks its a no. You will learn how to manage emotions and feelings as you grow and gain more experience in life.

🎯 We would have to ask Leo, but this isn't a therapy room. @Monster Energy you are touching on the concept of 'Emptying' which can be useful, but I do not think is the intent of the forum. Genuine expression doesn't constitute shitting on someone else. Authenticity is not a justification for feral behaviour. Explanation can slip into justification when boundaries are unclear or not respected.

It sounds like a beautiful concept! Unfortunately awakening, enlightenment and 'higher consciousness' individuals do not transcend incentive structures and genetics. Some of the most profound words can come out of a user, followed by the most offensive attack on someone else. Everyone has their conditioning they are progressing through. Humans are very strange. I would be nice not to have moderators. You guys also don't see all the beneficial stuff the moderators do. It is human nature to fixate on the negative and amplify it.

I think this points toward the limits of intimacy that can be achieved through a large social platform with some degree of anonymity to it. Radical honesty would be used against Leo imo. Which is why it is understandable there are some levels of intimacy never expounded upon. Anyone in Leo's position would be wise to never ever reveal anything deeply personal through online mediums. Obviously this will lead to some level of disconnection from users / followers. + Isolation for Leo (to a degree). The caveat being, it may dehumanise him in a way and justify some harsh judgement from others. From another pov it could be looked at as professionalism. On the flipside, this means we only have his choice of expression to judge - and this topic is highlighting some of the worst of it. And it is not professional.

Compassion doesnt meant tolerance. They get lumped together quite a lot. Tolerance is allowing a behaviour or situation in your space. Compassion is recognising another's suffering and caring about it. You mess up personal boundaries when the two concepts are conflated. Similar to explanation / justification. Explanation isn't justification but one slides into the next for many people. Landing them in situations that shouldn't be tolerated.

Dude this is just your opinion. And your opinion doesn't mean anyone else is a liar. It is just a bias. Sadia as an individual appears shady & slimy - yes. But stop with the wild discrimination against attractive WOMEN. I never hear this claim from you about attractive men - do they too deserve to be treated like pieces of shit (as you have intimated on previous occasions)?