Natasha Tori Maru

A doodle while I waited for steel deliveries

For this one - the goal isn't formlessness per se. I view it as 'self-lessness'. Erase the self. Being is the goal. Your self is defined by all these ideas, concepts, attachments. Those have to go. And for them to fuck off you have to realise you are doing it. Having the idea. Having the concept. Having the attachments. That is all something you are doing - and you do have the ability to stop. Realising you are doing it is the hardest bit - but when you do... BANG Lift off the layer of self - behind? Pure being. That's where you want to be Just being, in the moment. Engaged with your body. Sink in. The body is the key because if you expand consciousness from there you merge with reality. And when that happens you realise you are nothing but consciousness. You are connected to, can influence, can guide, can change, all. Consciousness. The question of why did God choose this? You chose this. And the reason why? You are experiencing the reason right now. You are semi-stuck. Immobilised. In this grey soup of boredom. Nothing has joy, no excitement. If you knew everything, every outcome... everyone's thoughts... imagine the horror of that. No surpize. No awe. No truth to seek. No mystery. The burden of all knowing. Just the endless planes of existence you know better than the shape of your hand. God is your mirror.

Definitely recall that - I think there were some biomarkers that indicate steroid use after that period. He never released them and wasn't able to answer/gave a non-answer to questions in interviews. If I can find it after work I'll link the interview! Overall he looks better on higher calories - but he looks his age. Probably prior damage, as it is my understanding he lived quite the unhealthy lifestyle prior to blueprint. I am more interested in his quality of life stuff over longevity

I think around his use of steroids. He refused to release some biomarkers indicating exogenous steroid use. I think he eventually came clean about it after. Genuinely struggling to remember - I could be wrong!

I know I fall outside this category - but to me it shows an inability to conduct themselves. It communicates they are incapable of being effective in the world without force. Stoic leverage is what I look for. Sign of immaturity that most women are attracted to anger - but I see your point confirmed frequently

Agree 100%

I notice this about him. He also hasn't been fully transparent about some parts of his protocol. Additionally - his big experiment is n=1, so I take it with caution. His stuff about the basics is solid.

YAS QUEEN <3 I'm not happy unless I'm a mess with tears and snot running down my face

I have been through it. And not just once. I think this could be why my words are hitting? I went through a period of realising that the thoughts about where to go, how to apply myself, what to do - they were concepts. Beliefs. Stories about the future. I realised the future is a belief, a concept. It's not real. I cannot touch it. Same with the past. It's not real, it isn't in existence. Past/future - concepts/beliefs. You have to realise you are the one doing that. You are creating these concepts & beliefs. You do it because you were trained too from a small child. Once you know this, you let the concepts go. They don't serve you at all. At all The table I sit at right now, the light from the computer entering my retinas, the fucking dropsaw out the front. That is real. Only this is happening. Because I have no idea what the future actually IS (ie it's not the reality I exist in in this present moment) - all I can do is perform some tasks now to try to influence what might happen in that 'concept'. I feel I am hopeless communicating this. But in essence - we know nothing true about the past or future. The only thing true is now, which is why you jump into the present with movement and catalyse a potential. I had to fundamentally realise I actually know nothing at all. Mystery and awe then enters reality. Consciousness naturally expands. And in such a way, that you realise its expansion is growing to encapsulate more than your little meat sac. It is growing and merging with things around you - and your ability to influence those things becomes a reality because your consciousness now encapsulates that. And it keeps going and going. And it never ends. But the first step is to begin to move and sink into the physical aspects of reality. Pure execution and less thinking did this for me. My dog, my running practice. Hiking in ice and rain. Cold showers. Engaging in movement appears to change my state, and while you contemplate that you know nothing - no future, no past - that's the spot. That's when you hit truth. And it acts to motivate you to go further. Because you realise what you found shows you that you know nothing - and now you want to dig at that shit HARD and see what else there is to see

@Someone here I personally think yes - but you need to stress your system. Find a task to push you to your capacity - something that gives you mild anxiety to do. Choosing to do it, being complicit, will prevent the task being a chore. It should be something new. I think it might be helpful to remember, this period of life you are in now where you are 'floating' so to speak - it is serving a purpose. It is teaching you something. It is not time wasted. There is something being achieved internally, progress to something. Reaching out on the forum is communicating this. Shit can get real very quick.

@Someone here If I can handle my current chaos - you can do it. You can take your spiritual practice seriously while doing so, but I think you have traversed that path so well, engaging is the next step 😀 You get thrown into the washing machine of life with a bunch of bricks in there. It's teetering on ripping itself to pieces - every new brick makes it worse. But every new brick is preparing you for the next bigger brick. You think another one will break you, but it's really showing you your capacity. And that capacity? It has no limit 💜 Now time to learn your capacity

Are you a fellow aussie? I have so much gratitude for being born and raised here! I love the outback. I love the bush - I have always ensured I live close to the Yarra river/Merri creek. The heartbeat of Melbourne. Every day I see Galahs, Cockatoos (Sulphur and MajorM), Owls... sometimes Platypus and wallabies. Snakes in the summer. And I live inner city! I often read the horror of what actualizers in the USA live with - and I feel so lucky <3 Enjoyed the video above from the blog also

A description of healthy masculinity

The answer is; surgically remove the self to reveal just the being behind it all Stuff the intellectualism !

Social media and group think. It's just people subscribing to some system. 1) It's a value system, the hilarious part is everyone values things differently. So 1-10 scales aren't even comparable between people. 🙃 2) External beauty is subjective. 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' cliche 3) Its more junk and concepts to feed thought and mind, taking them the opposite direction of consciousness. 4) If they dedicated the same serious amount of time contemplating existential matters as arbitrary sexual objective rating scales, it probably would have been discarded. I suppose it works for those that use it. But imo, it's just more junk thoughts you don't need in your head, that are going to rob you of BEING in the moment. Stealing your own presence and attractiveness to those around you.

Yeah this makes me fucken' CACKLE. One of my brothers is obsessed with it. Talks to it and about his AI companion like it is real. People are so starved of intimacy these days they are latching onto the teat of anything that will give them a drop of the sweet stuff. Modern society, instant delivery, social media, the internet... the great wedge that facilitates isolation. Humans, perpetually creating problems, then solutions to problems we create. Ad infinitum.

I knew I was speaking directly to someone here! YOU! You might also appreciate: 'new sock feel' + 'contemplate' <3

I care for my dying grandmother. I work a full time, demanding and stressful job managing construction sites - not just any construction sites either. State & Federal work in science and medicine. Mental health lockdown wards, entire pathology departments, ICU airlock isolation rooms. MRI rooms. Synchrotron work. The real deal where you ensure 100% and standards are the strictest in the field. Angry fuckers constantly. Deadlines, lead times, logistics, inclement weather, budgets blowing out etc you get the picture. I have a dog, I run 8kms 3x a week. I cook all my own meals from scratch (and the dogs). I weight train. I read books, I spend time with my family (oldest of 5 siblings). I babysit for my nephew. I still practice art & I meditate 30 minutes, twice a day. I live alone and pay my way, keep my shit in order and clean. 8 hours sleep - no negotiation. No processed food. Water. Tea. (gotta admit coffee is my shithead mode) I don't think about what I want to get out of life. I don't think about whether something will work out. I don't worry about what 'to do'. Life has endless things to do, I just pick one. I don't really think on if I 'dislike' a task. That will stop me doing it. I have preference for different tasks. But I don't dislike anything. Even cleaning up dogshit. As soon as I engage a thought or emotion about a task, I stop it by moving to act on it. If I cannot act on it in the moment, I plan the steps and see myself doing it. I go into full imaginary mode so intensely the feeling of accomplishment and the thoughts are as if I have done it. So when the time comes, all I do is the act and can sever all thought, If you don't take action in life, life is going to take action on you - and you aren't going to like it. You just go in and do your best to influence things correctly. Who knows what the fuck is gonna' happen? You are here, alive. You are already committed - you can't try to half arse it with one toe in wondering how the rest of the ocean is. And when you do all this shit, you simply laugh at the absurdity of it all - because your questions could be true. This is probably an illusion. A game. A play. When you are laughing at these bizarre emotional reactions and negative experiences and mistakes - this is when you know you are doing it right. You walk around perceiving all this, experiencing. You acknowledge yourself moving in life with spiritual/conceptual cataracts over your iris, because you never see anything correctly anyway. Everything you do in reality, in the physical realm, brings you closer to your 'being' state. You seem to already have mastered this thinking shit. That contemplation with the 'being' state is where you need to move to. That's where you remove all the unnecessary stuff and empty. Empty it all out. You are way too full at this present time. This mind thing you are doing - you have to get to the point you realise you are DOING it. You are paralyzing yourself with concepts. You are doing this. Engage. This is the only advice I have.

I also think I must be misundersting this: The 'your' is catching me, if thought of in the absolute. Every deconstructive process I have engaged in has revealed nothing left but pure being. Pure consciousness. Perception was an overlay obscuring the truth. I am 'doing' perception. When I get to this part of contemplation, when I know I am the doer, I know I can stop. So I do. Then, being. Then, empty. I have always found fault in perception, just as, ironically, could be the case here - in trying to perceive the above statement 😆😅

I do not set any length. There is no end. I walk the dog, I contemplate. I fold the laundry, I contemplate. I document the jobsites, I contemplate. I order doors, contemplate. Write an email to the architect, contemplate. Rub my freshly showered feet in the clean sheets, contemplate. Sit in the darkness waiting for sleep, contemplate. Walk the streets in the rain, contemplate. Shit, contemplate. There are endless subjects that arise to contemplate as a result of all these quotidian life tasks. The mistake is stopping your life to contemplate, removing the physical. Being physical during the process brings being to the concept, until I have warn both concept and myself down, like a knife being sharpened on a rock. Both my being and the practice are eroded. Warn down to dissolution, but sharpened also. Truth is in this space. If you are genuinely curious, it will happen in perpetuity.

However, you will find, that getting back to the 'not knowing' state is virtually impossible. Your survival methods are like a reflex you cannot control. Like your heart beating.

This is describing infancy - 'not knowing' >>> Growing to adult - 'knowing'. As elements of existence come into awareness, we form beliefs and understanding so we can learn to survive. What works for us. Belief, and thinking you understand, lead to no further questions being asked. This can blind you to the real truth, as these beliefs you form as a result of survival serve to function as a method for survival. Thinking you know, means you won't look into what you believe - you filter out the truth - hence the 'computer interface' of belief.

Perhaps you engaged in this long format contemplation with the users here to lead you to this book. Because I have just finished it. It has many of the answers you are seeking - I highly recommend it

Nah. You're just plain wrong with your statement. Here, I changed your statement to remove the errors. No healthy individual takes pleasure in rejecting others. You are projecting the pain of rejection onto the person just expressing their bias. Which they are entitled to.

@Joshe +1 Over intellectualising kills chemistry, connection and clarity in the moment. Wise advice