Natasha Tori Maru

My apologies - I did not intent for it to come across as this! I good friend recently pointed out I drive so hard towards solutions it can come across as if I have removed the human element from the equation - if I make sense? I meant to express that, if I were in your position, I would try to be aware and conscious of my own reactions in an attempt to understand their roots. But not as the primary driver for connection with your lady. Just something to consider if anything does come up. It is in my nature to datamine (if you will) for insights whenever I have an experience in reality. I tend to project this onto others also - don't mind me!

@theoneandnone Oh wow okay - well - this prompted me to ask myself: 'What makes one draw the conclusion of solipsism as a result of noticing the patterns of synchronization in reality?' I do not draw that conclusion - why do you, do you think? I do not draw such a conclusion because there are so many possibilities for an explanation behind synchronicities. To narrow it down to one explanation with an incomplete dataset to explain reality seems like a mistake.

Some individuals tend to have less discernment by default. Being aware of this can mean it is simply cleaner and easier to steer clear of problematic characters than can muddy the water (so to speak). Less energy wasted sorting the wheat from the chaff & more on application of clean principal. It can be safer to act in this way until one trusts in the development of their own discernment.

🎯🎯🎯

I get to look forward to some surprises generated in my experience, when visiting the forum!

This caught me - it is important to realise she is bringing this OUT in you. You have that within you also, she is just opening it up within you. You already have that capacity. This isn't always clear with avoidant attachment. In any case, I had a think on this while walking the dog. I think if you can maintain stoicism for a bit, it might be sensible to just observe as you have been. Draw no conclusions. But keenly watch, with discernment, how you feel yourself reacting to her. No doubt, that feeling is arising through a hidden belief or conclusion you have subconsciously come to, that begs to be looked at. Feelings point to thoughts and beliefs in a way. Sending good thoughts your way 🌱

@Jannes I understand. I used to be avoidant myself - I am not sure if you feel like this - but I used to feel like I was losing my sense of self around my partner. I felt the need to withdraw to gain that sense back. I had bad boundaries around this, so I never made it clear why I felt the need to withdraw to my partner as I was afraid of rejection. Ergo this caused a lot of confusion! And the familiar push/pull. You can heal attachment wounds with someone who is securely attached. If they can hold space and remain steady while you confront the hard conversations, it will act to help you understand there is no need to withdraw. Securely attached people will make you feel valid and okay for speaking about your needs and boundaries. Unhealthy or immature individuals will not be able to tolerate such conversations without feeling threatened - even if subconsciously. So having this conversation with her may act to reveal if she has some attachment issues (by observing her reaction) or of she is just genuienly an earnest and flamboyant woman 🙂 It is unfortunate that healthy, secure attachment appears 'boring' to those with attachment issues. The view of love is slightly off, thinking the thrill and adrenaline of it, and the sacrifice of the self and needs, is love. So one naturally dismisses a healthy individual as boring because one cannot recognise healthy love. I think having an open conversation about your own behaviour in reaction to her may be the only way to go. Which carries inherent risk. But any other path will lead to this issue not being addressed and becoming a pattern of interaction that leads to resentment

Ouroboros of Solipsism

Probably should have created a poll to capture forum users interest, so you don't have to sort through the silly negative posts. Like another user said, I am happy to make an appearance, but would need 6months time to plan ahead. Being in the down unda all that 💀 I think I would be less of an attendee, and present more within an assistive capacity; I've done my time with psychedelics, but know how to support those on trips. Happy to pay the fee, with no expectations for anything relating to my time. That is, if it would be welcomed Faciliated work is totally different to anything online. People are softer and nicer in real life - for those posters thinking it would be a shitfight. People only have a steel pair online in my experience. You would be surprised how lovely people are when body language, facial expression and unfiltered tone are in play 😀

By open up, do you mean talking about history, experience and feelings/emotions? Or just expressing emotions and letting them come through with authenticity? Curious to know, of she is opening up in a healthy manner with sense, as someone with secure attachment would. Or if she may possibly have some anxious attachment, which is characterised by opening up way too fast to see intimacy as soon as possible. Most people have some attachment issue - only 25% of the population (or hereabouts) have healthy secure attachment. I touch on this, because you mention her emoting causes you to 'distance' yourself (if I understand you correctly). I wonder on this - if you retreat - your lymbic system senses some threat or intrusion by her. This leads me to think you possibly may have had someone close to you with bad boundaries and intruded on you in the past. There is usually a pattern... If you have avoidant tendencies you will attract someone anxious. It is the nature of the animal. Not sure if any of this hit the mark, just some ideas based on your post (with a lot of assumptions!) 🙏

I have a huge weakness for musicians... SHHHH NATASHA, SHUT THE FUCK UP

You've got some testicle on you, I'll give you that ❤️

@theoneandnone Just through the forum - but Carl and I have experienced multiple completely unexplainable synchronicities. Posting the same things at the same time. Thinking the same thing - often at the same time, and then ending up with synchronised posts. Encountering similar occurrences in reality that cross over into online interactions. We often describe similar events in reality where we have picked up on thoughts from others. There has been no pattern to it. It just seems to crop up randomly and happen between us with no intent behind it. Now I just sort of wait, with mirth and benign curiosity, for it to happen again

A mutant more like it Seen any spiders lately? Last 4 nights I have dreamt of spiders - one dream in which you and I were creating mechanical titanium spiders. We were working on creating an articulating arm with gear system for lifelike arachnophobia deliciousness. Leo was behind a window yelling at us to remove our shoes....

*Awareness 🫠

'In the body' is the evil bit I could say - I perceive all external reality internally via sensation. So, what is external reality is really all internal via perception. So I am located wherever my awareness is currently. I suppose this is my loophole out of the 'in the body' bit!!!

Oh my gosh, are we surprised? Below a clip getting into the nuts and bolts (sorry about the presenters drone) - and another clip closer to the source - 2 students that were expelled speak on their experience. I felt some may enjoy the unravelling of the grift. https://youtu.be/xyV34eMdmIY?si=4ZPts2L-ttg147ta

It is an interesting concept and I do think on it a lot, because it is lived experience for me. I bring my dog to the office with me and she hangs here while I work. I enjoy the break from work while I play with her - and I realise this is because she removes me from the thoughts and dealings of the work day. Occasionally, I cannot play with her as I cannot disconnect from the stress of tasks. But I can force it if I tell myself that stress and world does not exist - if I do not pay attention to it. Effectively brainwashing myself to be present in the moment. Only me and the poodle exist - and the ball tossed between us.

I think I considered it as limiting my frame - narrowing down the scope of what I am dealing with using imagination as the 'barrier' that acts as deception. Thus facilitating 'play' via imagination. BUT! This would depend on if you determine self-deception as always having an unconscious element. And there are cases where deception is conscious - but only acted outwardly through action rather than an inward perception. I suppose that ends up being the difference between deception and imagination

@Leo Gura You need to teach how to activate self-deception after students have learned to deconstruct it. Instant make-believe activation into play mode through deception mechanism - gotta learn the system before you can break it

@Leo Gura 🎯

I have peace - which is beginning to feel like happiness. I think there has been some sort of reframe of what happiness is for me, as I have come to accept and allow all. Or, attempt to. It is not what I initially felt it to be. Within myself and my own practice - there was some hidden conflation of happiness and pleasure. I do say above 'I have peace' with the caveat of: I have peace, when I allow it. And don't deliberately trigger myself into turmoil. But the process of triggering emotion and coming into conflict is superb - it is revealing what I do not accept, allow and claim within myself. So in effect, it highlights where I am creating a duality which pushes me away from unity. Oneness. Love. When I feel rejection, revulsion, anger, frustration - there is a piece of this within me, yet to be claimed and integrated. So the peace I feel after coming into friction with reality is unifying with happiness through the process. Peace and happiness are being overlapped and unified in the face of integrating what I reject. Pushed into one. It is one of the reasons I value the forum as an assistance to spiritual practice. In real life this effect is catalysed through facilitated interaction, on the forums through conceptual battles

@Franz_ contemplation and self enquiry Look into the nature of who you think you are. Are we thoughts? Are we bodies? What makes you 'you'. If we are not thoughts - what is it that is aware of the thoughts? What is it that is perceiving a feeling or sensation? Might be a nice place to start 🌱

I see, I see. I suppose then it would become: What proportion of the population that is open to trying them, would be dissuaded by using being criminal? Compared to the stress on systems that society must maintain to process them in incarceration. There will always be those who are open and curious and seek drugs as an experience. Making it a crime will not stop them. Maybe a half measure would be decriminalization of use for some classes of drugs.

I do not think you have had any experience with serious addiction. People with serious addictions do not operate like normal individuals - their entire being is erased and supplanted with 'seek drugs to avoid pain of withdrawal'. Punishment, hard words and lectures around personal responsibility do not work, as to them, it is tantamount to saying 'just stop eating food'. Serious addicts have brains that have been totally altered and need a different system to assist them. As opposed to say - you or I, who are functional adults. Once the addiction has set in, their personality as you knew it is replaced by something else. My experience living with serious addicts. Associating with them and living in a suburb with Chinese triads. The largest heroin and ice centre for dealing in Melbourne. I implore you to consider that you might not fully understand the topic of addiction and its pathologies. These peoples brains have been permanently altered. Using is not a crime here (Australia) - but dealing and distributing is. I think decriminalizing use in the US is sensible - will relieve a lot of the stress on your systems. Prisons, taxes, and the criminal system in general. Resources could be diverted. I think dealing and distribution should remain a criminal act. Editing to add - I used to be more aligned with your opinions here - until I had personal experience.