Natasha Tori Maru

Do you personally feel this is true? Pure curiosity. I've been in several romantic relationships with men that were staunchly anti-monogamy, only to have them 180 their stance. Maybe it just takes the right women. A concept, perhaps, one doesn't want to entertain hope for. I've always felt the craving for sexual novelty leads men to want things open. I have to think in reality here though - it would take a lot of energy to juggle multiple women. As you age that energy seriously dwindles. Most woman are going to experience some... extreme consternation... at the implication above

@Eskilon Deep sleep. Hmm. I had a think on this during this mornings run. To be quite frank I have a deep - not knowing - of this. These are my raw, unprocessed thoughts (subject to further refinement, lucky I don't give 2 shits about being wrong. I am wrong all the time! Well... my thoughts are wrong...not, as we shall say that *I* am wrong :P) Deep sleep = consciousness alone. There are no distinctions present. A pure state, absent of objects, but not absent of being. Mental activity is gone, but consciousness doesn't go away. To me it seems beingness persists, but there is no process of registering anything. I am alive - but there is an absence of self-awareness. No memory. No narrative. Could we look at it as a state of pure potentiality of consciousness? Perhaps so, if we look at waking states being a kinetic form of consciousness. I must admit I have tried to perceive my transition into or out of it. I haven't pushed sleep states to this realm but it's making me want to feast into that experience. The boring or mundane experiences of life are the best ones to explore as they are the overlooked. Writing this all out makes me now question: What's aware of the absence of consciousness? It's possible to go into self-defeating loops here. I am not about that as I don't think we can come to solid conclusions. There is meta-awareness that suggests some continuity - before, after and absence in between. We sort of carry this meta-awareness over the boundary, like beadcrumbs... Overall, to my thoughts: we don't go unconscious during deep sleep. We stop identifying with experiences due to the breakdown of distinctions. The awareness that knows nothing is still aware... Just not of objects. All this is relative. Not Absolute. I don't like to scramble my own eggs by trying to pull the 2 domains together in these sorts of mind abstractions. They can feel like you are making progress, but detract from the reality experience

@Leo Gura I think this is a very astute observation. As much as I have compassion for another beings suffering - this is an example of lack of integrity (lying to oneself in this case). Essentially Vylana is deceiving herself this is something she wants (with a spiritual, false narrative) to get the candy - or the cock, the lifestyle, the luxury - in this example. The lies are always to get something. The corruption and lure of luxury and status. Power. Obviously, this is complicated by the fact that Aubrey went back on his word wrt monogamy. But Vylana is complicit here. She is choosing this. She is causing the internal split between what she wants and her actions. This is causing that fragile state we see where she is triggered to tears and internal unrest so easily. Again, if she was not stuck in this weird performative spirituality, and knew her own, real truth - she would have simply cut things off with Aubrey when the new puss was introduced. When he went back on his commitment. Again, the lure of wealth, status and power. She is breaking her internal state to attain these things.... I think there is a big pool of internet reaction that isn't holding her accountable for the choice she is making here. Obviously some people are innocent and ignorant and get swindled into these situations through total lack of awareness. But when we add in all Aubrey is offering (money, status, luxury, power) this is a huge factor. Do we think she would have stayed with him, if he was low status/homeless, as an example? Would she have compromised her own truth then? This whole situation is so ... ANTI-TRUTH. Very glad you based the most recent video on it.

@Sugarcoat Thank you for the link - Appreciate appreciate You (actually many users here) may enjoy this lecture - the gentleman speaking is a great orator, which always helps with the digestion. He goes into genetics, to body systems, to the mind and consciousness. Breaks down how they interact and how the mind generates emotions we experience through narrative (real/imaginary - makes no difference). It gets linked back to survival's maladjusted mechanisms that are active in the world today. We are doing these things we think we are plagued by. Things we are under the impression are external. The key is meditation. Cease all thought. Not knowing. Our consciousness is capable of much more than we know:

@Sugarcoat Much of my experience mirrors yours 😊 During all these strange happenings I can see my body altering it's rhythms through data. During dreams breathing rate, body temperature and heartrate are elevated. The dream consciousness is powerful enough to alter the state of the body. What else can our consciousness do to control body states? Huge realms of unknowns to explore. Assuredly pain can be controlled - I have experienced this. The brain paralyses the body so we don't act out dreams. If you freeze your body and do not move an inch, resisting the urge to move (which is the brains check method for sleep) while slowing breathing you can trigger lucid dreams. I can control the reality there and do quite often. It's very seductive so I have to actively stop myself from spending half the weekend in dreams. Sleep paralysis events also - your consciousness engages with some form of reality but the body is still paralyzed. Overall the common theme is to go in actively managing and mitigating fear. I take the fear state in with me (my experience) and it's never good. The dream I had last night with you and carl 'We are at Monash Medical centre. The passive firewall I built doesn't terminate at the roof slab and there is an opening. Carl and Sugarcoat are on the other side of the wall. The fire door between us is locked. To complete the junction of the wall and the slab we need to levitate the balloons above the firewall. Small red balloons are rising up and above and falling to me. Carl is teaching Sugarcoat to first make them rise and fall, then move vertically to reach me. 'then, let go, it will fall to Tash on the other side'. The dream shifts and we are levitating all colours of balloons back and forth. Carl sends one filled with M&Ms that explodes on the floor. Infection control come in and lose their shit' That's all for that one - if you were curious 🙃

@Eskilon or... What I -do not- know about it 😈 🧩 This topic is like a hammer to the brain. But first - is the question pertaining to the entire state of consciousness that is sleep, or, the phase of deep sleep in particular? I've done the most -experiental- work in the hypnagogic states, lucid dreaming (more akin to dream state). I will regurgitate some words based on the answer to the above ☺️ I can tell you it is a state. To experience a state, or state change, you do not need to think. I experience sleep as the most contrasting state. Self is 100% out the door. Ctrl+alt+delete process stopped. However I still experience narratives relating to a self, but it's not my waking sense of self there. In hypnagogic states or dream states - there is certainly experience happening. You can experience feelings in these states, recall colours, words, sounds, textures. In fact I had several dreams last night with Carl-Richard, aurum, rendheaven & sugarcoat. I have a dream log, and I dream every single night, 6/7 distinct dreams. I know these users had a form in the dream, but I noted them on the log as appearing as a flat image avatar with a name above. Additionally I track my sleep with a Garmin and note what it collects on the log. So I keep a long term systematic log of fucked up states to be able to look for patterns. Also I intentionally induce hypnagogic states and lucid dreaming once or twice a week as am exploration exercise. Deep sleep with no apparent experience is another state entirely. Anyway I digress and didn't answer. To sum up - the question pertains to the entire category of sleep? 😴 😜

@SageMind for myself, personal journey: spiritualities purpose was not to end suffering. I experienced it as a byproduct 🙃 well, should we say, a 'lessoning' of suffering @Davino if you really sit and contemplate this list - everything you listed is a fear. Rooted in fear. Questing for certainty. To my experience, fear is always the block. The only block.

💀🤣 Keisaku inc

Mandala while listening to music - half a Saturday afternoon, permanent felt tip pen on acetate

@Sucuk Ekmek I really like your stuff my man - in particular your use of colour. I sense practice and experience combined with a keen eye for observation. It takes skill to render an image without lots of BLACK for shade. Which, to me, is a novice mistake

I agree with this take. Theres that saying that floats around 'You're not ugly, just poor' Money or time-poor. Same shit here. However, these guys just may not be your (or my) taste.

I am just embellishing - bit too flamboyant with language. I understand what you are about (mostly... as much as anyone can through text)

Fucken bingo. I just walked the dog and listened to this - thanks @aurum I picked up on that as well. Audbrey went in and upgraded the model. Sort of like when a woman turfs a man who doesn't earn as much for a man that is wealthy. It's a brutally savage blow to a woman who is aging to deal with being dumped for a younger woman. Aubrey just wasn't able to dump Vylana outright due to his commitment to her. Youth is coveted by society. You see a lot of older women approach their 50s and turn into complete c*nts to younger women. And resenting men who are attracted to them. They cannot let go of the value they placed in their appearance, and suddenly experiencing what it is like to be invisible is traumatic. Their 'self' they built up for decades is being destroyed before their very eyes. They had no idea of the privilege they were existing with. It's so sad to see. But if many women had any awareness at all they would realize this - and really invest in mastery in other realms. Most realize too late. And half the beauty industry is aimed at targeting these women and exploiting their fear generated due to loss of identity in appearance. Fuck though the end was weird. It felt so fucken rude man, Vylana suddenly inserting this guided orgasm experience out of nowhere. I'm being told about cumming and loving myself while watching my dog sniff another dogs arse. Reality don't get any more puzzling.

Fuck me, I didn't know this part. Going surgical dissecting this fiasco. SHRED LEO, SHRED. You have a barbaric way of investigating subjects. This is just the topic that keeps on keeping on. Ceaseless fractal deception He should have just made an official statement proclaiming he changed his thoughts. That his inner voyage revealed more internal truth that he was living a lie trying to live monogamously. He won't though. And wouldn't - that would require humility! Because as you illuminated, he stands to lose business and - worse - take a hit to his ego. And as a man being effective in accruing assets is a huge part of self-validity - the business hit IS an ego hit. Honestly the dick rudder here has led to this mess. His cock smelled some young puss and all sense went out the window.

Effortless force

Actualized Quote #257 I love this one. It's the ultimate maturity filter. You are highly conscious, you speak and do truth. Integrity. Authenticity. You watch as the immature or low consciousness beings retch and bulk at your words and conduct. Truth overload for them. And you watch them naturally recede away out of your existence (due to their own judgement of you). It is the effortless filter. Effortless action. No need to even tell them to fuck off - they fuck themselves off! NB: This runs against your natural survival instincts 'wanting approval'. As humanity evolved, being part of a community meant survival - being cast out could LITERALLY kill you. Cooperation and tribes are ingrained in our evolution (they catalyzed it), this is why to be cast out feels so terrifying, like you are dying. It runs so far back in evolution it is a core fear - the fear of rejection. You will have to confront this - realize that it is the 'self' you want to remove that overlays your experience of joy, wonder & awe in reality (thereby polluting experience). Just thought I'd add that for anyone struggling with rejection, the blog post made me think on it <3

That's the insidious part isnt it? Even the best of us have some serious flaws in thinking and opinion/action. Just because we are right about one thing, doesn't mean it is invalid because other actions/opinions are wrong. You see it all over the forums. We all agree on some things, then in the neighbouring thread simultaneously shredding each other's ideas. Nothing left but sad ribbons of dead ideals, hopes and dreams .... The rolling tumbleweeds of the forum I take what's good and chuck the rest. Although I must say, I am deeply fascinated when someone is blind to how wrong/deceived they are. Cognitive dissonance is what fascinates me. I dig into it trying to understand, semi horrified I am doing the same somewhere. I just try to make that 'somewhere' not harming others (aliens/psychic/remote viewing) etc. I have some insane thoughts and experiences but I keep the insane inside... Or, I try to! Otherwise mods come with Zen-sticks 🙃

I'm undecided - I feel like any pinned posts don't get looked at. Unless we mean like - featured all on one forum?

Not.... The best anecdote 🤣🤣🤣 Unless the paper can talk back..... Give ideas back. Maybe that's your experience of the writing process. Certainly not mine!

HAHAH! His testicles - the final embers of his EROS - expire, two shriveled walnuts quivering gently on the bitumen

Creation is the birthright of humanity. I personally feel AI can be abusive in this process. Causing a retardation of creative thought and ability. I go to school with 18-24 year olds. They are stunted in some ways - especially linguistically. Not one of my classmates works without AI use. It is definitely a tool and can be used well. But it is almost like an intoxicating substance that needs to be regulated at this point. I find myself tuning out if I read a passage formulated by AI, or if prose has been run through it. I love the pace and flow of real prose ejected from the unfiltered thoughts of a human. Not to mention - the destructive environmental damage it is doing that no one seems to heed. The amount of processing, power and water consumption the process requires is going to fuck us up if not mitigated.

@MuadDib Have you only just discovered this thread? This is absolutely DAMNING. Just got through it. Obviously, it has the Dr. Phil drama music and spin, but Gafni is grotesque. The way he doubled down. Totally removed from reality. I want to stand on his balls with my stiletto heels until they pop like tomatoes.

@Leo Gura Pleasure pleasure - thanks for the blog tag!

This made me laugh - bias biscuits for all. Because there couldn't possible be a reason for independent tribunals right? RIGHT?