Natasha Tori Maru

Wondering why this topic was moved from the mental health subforum to this one? This is a pathology. It really doesn't have anything to do with women

Do you have any sisters? Women close to you? You are looking at this through a single lense. You will need to consider the challenges women face, else you will be alone for a long, long time.

I have a different way of dealing with stress. Previously, I required structure. Stress/anxiety fueled my tasks. I had to ensure time to decompress and disconnect. I allowed lots of free time to be used in this way. I no longer require any sort of disconnection to be able to handle stress. When I have a very full and extreme day, I always mentally list the items over and over. As I do this, I visualize and attempt to embody the feeling of already having accomplished the thing. I start the day & immediately begin this visualization process. When I can see within my mind the thing I am trying to accomplish (it helps I work in construction, as this can be seeing the rough in complete/structural steel erected/slab poured). The feeling of accomplishment (dopamine really) is so strong, I use this energy to fuel the focus I need to perform without anxiety and force, no stress. This requires a lot of organization & trust within yourself. So, to enable this process without stress, I would format structure: Plan/Prioritize > Schedule > Task > Visualize > Action. This is repeated for each action item on your agenda. I often visualize and swim in the feeling of each small action finished. The feeling of sitting on the couch at the end of the day, eating a great meal. It feels like daydreaming. Take a breath, imagine you doing the thing, release & execute. In this way you bring your entire being into the task. It no longer feels like effort. You fall in love with the act. Visualizing assists as it lowers the stress and anxiety of intensely focused tasks, as you are essentially brainwashing yourself into thinking tasks are done. I used to utilize anxiety & stress to accomplish what I needed throughout the day. The downside to this method was I needed to 'disconnect'. I have more presence, coherence & clarity with the visualization method. Energy is conserved, focus is like a laser

This - Nilsi nuking the thread 💜 Valid points regarding how you approach Leo & his typical responses (in another reply). Just letting you know I have witnessed this repeated over and over

I find many parallels between wanting, desire and my meditation practice. In the past, as I accomplished and satisfied desires, I often was left with a sense of emptiness. I disliked this, so I filled it with pursuit. I then began meditation. Accomplishing everything I want gave way to the same emptiness meditation presented. When I sat with the emptiness, the Divine really stepped in. All stripped away so I was ready to be filled with something Else. The trick for most: don't get caught in the loop of endless pursuit!

The use energy & create.

So are you saying you think optimism is a result of ignorance? Or dismissing negative aspects? Your anecdote isn't illustrating to me how positive thinking leads to a lack of epistemic integrity. I feel like you are saying delusion leads to a lack of epistemic integrity. Positive thinking doesn't inherently mean dismissing solid, logical deductions. Yet your statement is phrased in a way that implies positive thinking leads to this foregone conclusion. "Positive thinking leads to a lack of epistemic integrity" Are you sure you aren't assuming anything positive cannot be truthful, knowledgeable, unbiased & rigorous?

Please accept my gratitude for your vulnerability & passion! This took immense courage, well received Consider this me swinging an e-frisbee of positive energy right back at you !

All this confirms for me is Teal Swans ginormous shadow and ego. She may have clairvoyant abilities. The other side of this coin is their ability to also blind her to deception. Ego is a huge issue for her. If she had true and pure loving connections to all those around her, either herself or her followers would have intuitively known something and raised this. If they knew and chose not to act this points to misalignment in her energy/connection with those close to her. She has some fantastic things to say, but she is not enlightened. She specialises in shadow work, so it's no wonder she herself has this issue. We heal in others what we need to heal in ourselves.

I think it is a very positive development, these recent blog posts that lean toward empathy, understanding, compassion. These inclinations are higher energy, coherent & will unify all in a more positive way. Bringing us closer to amalgamating consciousness!

Agree with this. It aligns for me more as truth. My breakdown was just an attempt to put to words my understanding for any others who require a reframe <3

I completely agree. This is just so obvious when I enter coherent meditative states. It simply smacks you right in the face when on psychedelics. Because I view all as consciousness - even a tree - I don't accept when Leo says 'A tree is not a feeling. I don't know any clearer way to explain it.' This is why I raised the issue of feelings being defined and framed wrong. That humans have a limited view on what I feeling is. I raised in a previous post - I view feelings as simply forces arising from thoughts 'electrical impulses' in synapse, with feelings being the 'magnetism' that arises similarly to how electricity through a wire induces a magnetic field. I just think we haven't even tried to understand feelings in any other limited way than some wishy washy feminine crap. Feelings are just this force that induces coherence in a system. That system could be parts that give rise to photosynthesis of a tree. Or simply someone having the impulse to give another person a hug. To my understanding, it is feelings that create coherence in us, which is the tap into ultimate intention & creation.

Any-who back to the original topic at hand! I argue that feelings are a power source or propellant for self will. Anger over exploitation - take action. Affection for someone - action. Love - care & sacrifice. However I do feel that will can overpower feelings. You may break up with someone despite loving them due to incompatibility, or you're tempted to cheat but maintain honesty to your lover. So you choose to take a course of action counter to your feelings. This would be an execution of logic. However to break the above down further: the decision to impose self will to override feelings is the result of the feeling. To impose self will to override feelings is a drive to avoid a feeling. So there is a feeling behind the feeling. So what appears as a logical action, is driven by a feeling - avoiding the feeling of 'anxiety' that may result in lack of action. This is why I feel even logical acts are motivated by feelings. Cold logic in a detached way is an attempt to control, maintain order. Avoid chaos. Also an attempt to avoid anxiety “Reason is the slave of the passions.” — Hume

I guess what I don't understand is, your work is about Truth. This has to incorporate feeling in some respect. Unless you are saying, your work doesn't address all aspects of truth? You have a separate focus within truth? There is a lot of depth to the feeling aspect of existence that I feel is necessary to elaborate on. The only reason I drill down on this is I feel you haven't given a valid reason to omit this deep dive.

That's a shame as I think there is more to explore regarding feeling that is relevant to your work. But who knows, you may come upon how and why feelings weave into your work in the future. I just think you can't delete 'human relations' from your work without hurting the integrity of truth seeking. Agree to disagree

This does give you a rather crafty way out, as language is a framework we all agree to use to attempt to clearly define communications. We do not all agree to use your version of it. I know you claim corruption - I just don't see how that validates bastardising it. It also detracts from the meaning you are trying to convey. And most especially, I would consider precision in communication to be of utmost importance to you. Language isn't perfect, no one says it is. But there are many, many terms, words & definitions that can clearly enunciate any point you wish to make. I did not mean my above statements to express any negativity. I just think you should reconsider the hubris of altering the language you use to communicate as you see fit. I don't want to detract from the topic here (my apologies @integral) but if I am correct, you know Russian yes? So technically you up on me & many other forum users here - we only know English

Don't be afraid to remove all the 'stuff' that sits in your mind. That 'stuff' is going to scream at you that you need it. But you don't need it. Envision, now, its death throes! I promise you, when you remove it, something beautiful arrives in its place. You are preparing yourself to become empty - this is when the energy of the universe will come to fill you up. Good luck!

I think feelings are the base of self will. This has huge avenue for exploration. The fact Leo hasn't touched on the rich tapestry available here says to me he hasn't properly integrated/understood all there is to the feminine. I feel differently toward Leo's use of words (and I mean this as a criticism aimed at growth). I feel he lacks precision with his words. He often uses the same words to describe different nuances within a subject. Another sneaky behavior of his (on the forum) is to run in and state something not quite correct. Or he is proven incorrect by a user, and he wriggles his way out by making up his own definitions of words and language. I admit I often lose a lot of respect for him when he engages in this behavior. It shows un unwillingness to be humble or concede a point. But I digress here, this was simply stated to point out a flaw with Leo's communication (his wanton redefinition of words) that leads to confusion. Overall self-will & feelings, in my mind, are the same force. A vector that draws us to experience. This goes back to God simply experiencing itself, but to do so division must be present. This is also why I think romantic relationships are fundamental to us: the division of the feminine/masculine is meant so that we experience and learn more about each other through the friction of relationship.

Went for a run, had a shower, walked the dog while thinking on this feeling thing. Time is a construct that humans create with our minds. There is not time. All happens simultaneously. If this is the case, and the time dimension is removed, all that exists is each moment in absolute synchronicity. We all would inherently know the same. Meet up when needed. No clocks to check. Just know. But to embody this synchronicity, all must be one. So perhaps thinking through the above, feeling (and love being the highest and most powerful) act as a force to unify us. To push us to this synchronicity. When unified, there is no time. We are then, everything. You love, everything. You are God, and it is a living force in all. So you are God manifest, you are the condensed, coherent energy of God, made up of the very fabric of existence. Here to experience itself. But this can only occur with the construct of time being present. And inherent to this is the feeling dimension that arises. So, feeling acts to synchronize all to supersede time. All happens now, due to complete coherence & synchronicity with each other. Time is just God's creation to enable separation and learning. And feelings arise to push us to synchronize into one. Every evil act is therefor a division. Necessary to learn that unity, synchronicity, is the path. The polarity exists to learn that the more evil one enacts, the further they get from God. Bad feelings arise from evil acts. Divide. Maybe this is how feelings transcend pure survival, and also act as a conduit to propel us to God consciousness.

I do agree with your assessment regarding Leo's bias toward the masculine. I think his strength there is that he is able to translate these concepts and communicate them in a format that speaks to men, who often need to use 'head/mind' heavy concepts to deconstruct & integrate concepts. I am hoping his next step is understanding & integrating his current concepts through the feminine. I use metaphor and simile to try to understand concepts and how they integrate into a system. Because to be quite frank, I am frustrated by the limitations being a human has! But I am here to work with these limits. And learn. Often, I use mathematical concepts to try to reduce things down into constituents and substitute for x or y when I am too caught in undefined words. I do believe 'feelings' are an integral part of consciousness as experienced by humans, but the way I understand this is, they are just energy. Just vibration and frequency. All living things experience energy, we just happen to differentiate feelings out, and label them. Like the 'strong force', 'weak force', 'gravity', 'magnetism' etc If feelings propel change, as @integral points out, then they are a sort of force in space. Time is the frame. IE change = distance / time (much like velocity = distance / time). If we are all this 3 dimensional space, feelings are descriptions of length and direction with time. Making them a driver of reality. This metaphor has holes in it though, as we know time is an illusion and human construct. Time in 3d space is also not constant as E=MC^2 shows. Also, if we hold time as constant, reality breaks down into infinite realities where all things happen simultaneously. All outcomes happen. Can feelings be the force that can breach the boundary of each reality? That pull you out of one reality and into another? The frame is a huge problem for me!

He was sober for a short period before taking medication through a doctor. But his pathology was so extreme he had to do something, as his basic ability to function was bricked to all hell. I was his boss at the time in retail, and he was actively seeing shit on the sales floor when interacting with customers. Needless to say, I did spend a lot of company time and money orchestrating shifts and environments that wouldn't trigger him, in an effort to protect him so he didn't lose his job. He was very much hell bent on self-deletion from some heavy trauma. @CosmicExplorer I agree that alcohol and cigarettes are serious substances that can destroy lives, but the financial corruption propelling those industries is so large and systematically ingrained... the problem is huge and multi-level. No easy solution. It is intertwined with greed and personal prosperity at the expense of others. Not to mention how ingrained alcohol is in our culture. It punctuates almost every celebratory event you can name in the west. Alcohol is more damaging than weed, in my opinion, but purely because of how much more widespread it is. It is hard to say if both substances were used equally which would be worse. @Leo Gura's recent post is interesting. Personally, I do not think drugs should be criminalized. It clogs up the prison system. People should not be punished for addiction. They should be treated. My take will always lean towards compassion. Legalizing? Thats another matter. Unfortunately, the low consciousness state of most of modern society means drugs are more likely to be abused than used as a tool. It's like handing nukes to a child.

He didn't stop until he was well into visually and audibly seeing shit without any connection to another sound or object. It took a good month, me and all his mates, to convince him shit was cooked

Good conversation, good brain food. Much appreciate

Thanks, indeed you also! Your prose has excellent pace and structure. When you read it, the cadence helps illustrate your point as it has a pleasing rhythm Unless you are frustrated - then it is a staccato explosion

A fuckton, chronic blow-my-brains-out to escape life amounts. By the time he went chronic with it... consistently for 4-5 months would be my approx He was 32.