Natasha Tori Maru

@Someone here It could simply be that as you grew out of childhood you developed expectations and had expectations projected onto you. I think in regard to aging up, you have a point touching on the complexity: we seem to trade one set of problems for another. We are less able, but more secure. Know what we want 'clarity', but don't always have the energy to pursue it. Master various parts of the world, but loose openness to knowing. Retire and have more free time: but with a body so broken we cannot enjoy it. Value others more as our social circle shrinks: only to have them die on you or battle debilitating illness. 'Youth is wasted on the young' My advice to you is you cannot possibly conceptualize or try to imagine how you will experience aging. Just like you cannot conceptualize enlightenment. It's another one of those 'experiences'. I look back at my 30 year old self and almost pity her narrow scope of understanding. And knowing how ignorant I was makes me even more aware of how ignorant I am, now.

I hope you are just saying this in isolation and not applying it as some life philosophy. Because this is really a crossroads of ego and meaning talking. If you are chasing greatness for something in return - it's all ego. The moment you don't get what you want you are left with a hollow feeling. When you choose greatness it is because excellence feels like alignment: it is who you are. The truth is you don't always get anything lasting 'in return' for being great. You become something from it. That is the real transformative transaction. The process is where all the good stuff is.

You might be surprised as the breakdown of the body can reduce your capabilities and independence. That autonomy loss must be greived, accepted. Relearning how you live as you go. Not to mention you do/can end up with lots of physical pain. Little things.

Starts with Shakespeare quote, ends with total obscenity 💀

It is a sort of madness trying to fix something internal and intangible like a samskara with something external. Like trying to reshape a concrete block by yelling at it.

So much misunderstanding 🙁 Trying to understand is the issue

Show us on the doll where the European cities touched you @Twentyfirst

Hell yes. Once you get to around 40 it all settles down because you know who you are and what you want.

And INFJ is supposed to be the rarest type - but people often get typed as it. It could speak to the amount of trauma most people carry or it could simply be how people answer the questions in an 'ideal' way they WANT to be, not how they are. And therein lies one of the huge flaws in MBTI testing as it is self reported (online testing that is). I believe @Emerald is an INFJ and comes across as very integrated and healthy. The way she writes and her life purpose scream INFJ to me !

I did! I actually discussed this back and forth with @Joshe as I expressed a lot of doubt with my typing. His questions helped me work out the areas I had issue with and where I was misunderstanding how I was making decisions and acting in the world. I can't be 100% certain, but I suspect I typed INFJ a lot longer ago due to some significant unresolved trauma causing hypervigilance (paying so much attention to community, harmony, others emotions so that I was safe from wrath). This led to me thinking I was a default Fe user. I seemed to have picked up on social queues as a way to survive bad situations with violent people. But the process was extremely draining. I am a project manager in construction... so I think I was blind to where I was using Te. I like this role and I am very good at it I think this highlights the issues with the Myers Briggs tests. I remember you being ENFJ thought

ROFL I mean, yeah. 100% Fully taking a dump on the sports guys, made me laugh

@ryoko So you are indifferent to the concept of your death?

Anyway to answer OP - if I am within physical presence to someone I can alter their feelings. Remove bad feelings and alter them into something useable.

@ryoko Good answer - so it is others death you are primarily indifferent to?

@ryoko Do you think you are indifferent to your own death? I would argue that - you haven't experienced it. So being 'indifferent' may be a conceptualization and not reflective of our real response to the experience. It could merely be a cerebral thought that 'I will be dead, so I will not know the experience, nor care' Are you indifferent to dying? I would consider that different to death itself.

Fucken sick soundtrack

As far as I am aware personality type in MBTI is reflective of the cognitive functions behind the 4 letter type: Ne, Ni, Se, Si, Te, Ti, Fe, Fi Each 4 letter type code has a different order and set of preferential functions - your type remains the same, but as you grown and develop you tend to develop each of the functions in stages. So for example, I type as INTJ - Ni, Te, Fi, Se. Ni comes natural to me as a default: I know no other way to be. Te, Fi, Se have later developed and I recall stages of broadening each, making them feel more dominant at different times. I view MBTI as a frame - I use it to understand certain ways people (and myself) take in information and make decisions. That is all it is - a way of describing how we perceive and make decisions. It is important not to let it limit you as all frames can. I find it useful as it means I can find a way to better communicate to someone IE some people prefer lots of details prior to understanding the overall picture (don't like to assume or read between the lines) - some prefer the general idea before they can nail down details (comfortable with extrapolating on incomplete data). By scientific standards MBTI is pseudoscience. There is no solid empirical backing, it isn't as strong as a predictor as say, big 5. And it is based on Carl Jung's work which is more philosophical introspection than scientific experiment. That said, I find it useful. Many others do not. I would operate from cognitive functions and not type codes: the j vs p (judging, perceiving) Myers-Briggs uses isn't needed, and causes a lot of confusion IMO.

I think the rise of the online dating marketplace, social media and covid causing face-to-face isolation has created some of the fixation on external attributes as the only green flags for attraction. It is difficult to quantify charm, ease, playfulness and an unburdened demeanour without being with a woman in the flesh. And text? It lets you craft a nice version of yourself you can control, serving to soothe ones own anxiety around perception, but doing nothing to convey who you truly ARE. Robbing yourself of real connection. This online bubble causes half the black pill issues: my looks are out of my control, genetics luck social hierarchy, this is out of my control. I have no power to change this so why try? People develop a belief of 'I am hopeless' and black pill serves to enhance that cognitive bias. The only way out is action in the real world to build up evidence that shit other than looks matters. But this doesn't always help does it? Because if you have the black pill cognitive bias you will actively disregard all evidence to the contrary and use intellect to cement the belief further. Looks/status can certainly serve to attract, but women will always look for the emotional connection as the lasting one. If you can create emotional connection, hold space, and encourage your prospect to engage in her own healthy expression of emotions, this will be enough to get results. Women thrive on emotions, just as men thrive on sex. In general. I just feel so much compassion for men on apps. I think the apps can fuck off.

YUP. Only half the story.

To explore experience without judgement

@UnbornTao Yeah I loved that Dune scene! Not strictly a movie (Battlestar Galactica series remake) - but great oldschool space battle:

Calling @Joshe for some advices

Not sure if pet ownership was on Leo's list - big one Guilty