Natasha Tori Maru

Merry Christmas ❤️(⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

Do you think you have any choice or agency in how you act to influence change? I want you to see how this can feed into victim mindset.

So you are saying we have no choice in the matter - regarding how we react?

@Hojo is a man. He has revealed the bias you have.

Are these women responsible for how they look? Or responsible for their actions? This is a distinction you need to be clear on, to break free of the burden of these judgements.

I do eat rice occasionally! I forgot to add that Wheat seems to give me joint pain. I suspect this is genetic as my father gets this symptom from wheat products. I feel it terribly when I run. I do eat pasta, bread and rice on occasion. It is just rare - and I do get mild bloating from these products. Hard to say if it is from the extreme processing, the type of food, or just some other human alteration we make to it that is the cause... So I find it cleaner to eliminate mostly

I'm gonna sound elitist; while I have nostalgia and love old games (and new) - I find the younger gaming generation aren't very resilient, persistent or able to seriously use games as a problem solving learning platform. Maybe it's just anecdotes, but every one of the genZ and Alpha bros I play with get frustrated and stuck. Turn shit off or immediately look for walkthrough or cheat codes. They won't stick with a problem long enough to engage their brain - they just want to get rid of frustration as soon as possible. Could just be a certain type of gamer I am seeing more often these days though. I never had any of that shit available - walkthroughs/tips would come from a book or hearsay. I think gaming back then actually improved my brains ability to work with problems and build resilience....

And then you get the peckerhead mates who cheat, staring at the split screen in multiplayer https://youtu.be/qoWCB8AUiP4?si=yBc_p5BgLA8KKHLK

Thank you for you contributions all! (⁠*⁠❛⁠‿⁠❛⁠)⁠→❤️ And thank you fellow moderators and Leo, for the free help, support & assistance running this place 🙏🙏🙏

Gut checked - yup 👍 I have many digestive issues (intolerances). In general; simply always been slightly nauseated in the morning. Fasting through has always suited me. Like yourself I enjoy the cognitive benefits 😁 Why does this seem so feral to me? I am picturing kangaroo milk being manually churned into butter... Imagine the taste. I've totally lost my appetite

Fuck breakfast 😈 I usually throw up if I eat within 2/3 hours of waking. I raw dog the morning

It might be worth it to sit and write out your beliefs - there are many here in this passage alone. Begin a really open enquiry into each one. What is it, where is came from. How does it make you feel? What happens in the body when you think about these things? You are somewhat anthropomorphising God - as Leo raised. Look into that projection 🙏

Ah! Okay - I am familiar with this. Prior to - shall we say - the 'resistance' to judging of experience, I used pressure to create solutions. Which you could supplant with 'friction required' - as you coin. The impulse I had previously came with an element of force (pressure, friction). And a latent, ever buzzing anxiety would hum in the background of my days at work. I bounced my focus of this anxiety to come up with creative solutions to problems that arise in the moment from the active construction site, and to planning builds with many latent conditions and unusual build phases. Hypervigilance was used to accomplish this. One day I had this experience of total stop. I guess a cessation? Experienced stopped having a center. I didn't seem to have experience - suddenly experience had me. I stopped judging experience. And with that, all resistance was removed. It seemed when problems arose on site (I work commercial construction as a project manager/estimator) I naturally attended to them, then returned to my previous task. I simply trusted I would be able to find the solution to any changing event. I looked at sequences and made changes to hopefully get to an outcome. I trusted I knew exactly what to do when a certain set of variables lined up to influence a positive outcome. Now that is all I do - watch and act to influence the outcome I need. I no longer get anxious about the outcome - I feel it is out of my control. The attachment to the outcome was removed which produced an equanimous state even at work. Because I stopped feeling as if I was the center of my experience, I no longer looked at some tasks as good, bad, fun, boring. The tasks just got done by the body. I had no where else I wanted to be. If I had to wash the dishes or file some invoices - it was an experience free of judgement and so, welcome. Having said that, I operate from that state at work 90% + of the time now. It feels like I am not doing anything - like I do not make a direct decision. My hands just type the emails they need to. Take off quantities as needed with the mouse. Call those who need information. Order on such a date so as to hopefully have materials on a date. There are times I slip out from this state back into a distortion of experience back to my force driven way of being. But these are less and less. And when it does happen - I backtrack and pay attention to what put me in that state as a way to identify where in my process I am contracting. I 'work' (dissolve?) these contractions. But not dissolve ego. After all - even if the ego is an illusion, we cannot kill something that didn't exist in the first place I suppose ego is like the moon - it is illuminated. But it is an illusion that appears to have light. The light is from the sun. The moon is present and shines in brilliance - but it is an illusion. I suppose the above answers: Most of the time - yes! Especially in estimating where not only do I quote large medical refits and science facilities - but gantt charts for the construction programs. And due to the nature of my work (medical construction) the program wins the bid in many cases. Operations and downtime are usually the top consideration when the work is state/federal. Money isn't as much of an issue. So creative solutions are how we win bids. I think I used to fear that without my ego I would not have the compulsion to achieve. But seeing through it arose effortlessness that enabled me to achieve and do so much more without the mind wasting power that came with resistance, anxiety & force. That energy now goes to the feeling of the body just - doing its thing. I digress and I may not have answered directly.... I enjoyed your question and the answer process though

May I ask - what it is you are dissolving, or think needs to be dissolved? I have not lost agency in my process. On the contrary - the body moves. Tasks are done. Deadlines met. Sleeping happens. Body eats. It all happens when it should, just as it should. But with no resistance. Effortless power. All resistance to experience is lowered - flow and ease are restored. Like there is no centre. I still accomplish a lot. More than many.

Overthinking, overanalysing - seperates the body from the mind.

Do we think others help us, or is it that we help ourselves? Maybe we can recieve a push that causes a stumble and realignment - but it is *us* that does the realigning. In my experience

Yeah I eat starchy shit - potatoes /pumpkin are my main carbs. I run in the morning so without the carbs I would bonk HARD. We ain't talking rabbit food - I don't find that sustainable at all.

Yeah of course: carrots, zucchini, potatoes, eggplant, bell peppers, beetroot, pumpkin, cauliflower, broccoli, yams, green beans, avocados etc etc All the good stuff 😁 I don't life off shrubs or anything lol

If you cannot taste the incredible variety of flavour in raw unsalted nuts - you are a victim of overseasoned or processed food. Or you smoke. I think combining foods is also something to pay attention to. @Sugarcoat fyi the majority of my diet (70% +) is just from vegetables 😊 been eating this way since 18yo.

Vegetables, fruits, eggs, fish and small amounts of red meat on occassion. Cottage cheese. Tea, coffee, water. Some nuts added in. I am very lactose intolerant and have fructose malabsorption 🥹 so I have to avoid foods containing those in large amounts. I don't eat bread, pasta, rice, processed sugar. I basically avoid anything processed / artificial. Most people cannot eat this way. But it is easy for me, because if I eat badly my spiritual practice is shit, my work is poo, sleep is not good and energy / happiness is reduced. I just happen to be very sensitive to the effects of foods, so it makes avoiding very easy ☺️ Wheat gives me joint pain as well. Some sort of generic thing I got from my Dad. @Sugarcoat

I eat clean so rarely pass gas. And when I do - zero smell. I tend to go to the bathroom if it does happen. I can make them soundless no worries. Good control But if one slips out accidently it doesn't bother me - no shame Burping I am okay with - no smell, less chance of offence. Some of my tradie mates can make that shit resonate As with anything... balance. The middle way !

I always tell myself; it's reality showing me what I still haven't accepted and integrated in myself. I usually only feel okay judging others for things I haven't claimed I do myself. Otherwise I wouldn't be comfortable hating it. If I did, I would have to hate myself.... Some more ego to see through 🙃

In some way or another, since I can remember being aware of things outside of me. 'Natasha! Stop asking why!!' 'That is just how it is, stop asking' It helped I was a talented artist, and the compulsion to create satisfied a lot of the persistent existential crisis of my questioning 😊 It always seemed just - wrong - that everyone around me took reality, and their understanding of it, for granted.

@VioleGrace he was totally uncompromising in making what he envisioned. He had an idea and wouldn't let it go. And it was an overarching concept that he applied to all apple products, not just anything in isolation. He wanted a totally integrated ecosystem that emphasised beauty & pleasure to use. He was pretty combative in persuing this vision. And the detail that went into his vision was impressive: it went so far as to focus on font, typeface, balance... He wanted technology to be beautiful as well as functional. That sort of top-down wholistic view meant that the products he created were always cohesive and high standard. The drive and lack of compromise are worth witnessing in his interviews for inspiritation 😊 He TOLD people what they wanted that they didn't even know they wanted.