Natasha Tori Maru

As a man, do you feel this type of coddling is negative/detrimental? Almost a reward for zero effort. Participation trophy. On the one hand, it can be very powerful to be validated just as we are. We are allowed. No pressure to DO anything. Achieve anything. In some ways that can be a relief of pressure. Feminine love in overdrive. Life gets boring & stagnant very quickly without challenge. Complexity is the element we can do away with. But a challenge feels like the sort of pressure most men crave as a path to feeling valid within masculinity. Just my sleepy thoughts

Incorrect.

This is closer to it than my rap

A touch too much vulnerability for me You might laugh given the forum - TRUTH Being honest. Authentic. I learned to call my loved ones on their shit - when appropriate. It is the more loving act. Fear is actually a total deception. You need to surrender to truth, because you owe it to your loved ones to care for them through integrity. Before, I surrendered to the needs of another - but to be free from fear you need to surrender to truth. Even when it is hard. Truth really is love... Truth should never be wielded as a weapon. But it is the avenue to true intimacy. I recognized my own self-deception - that I was twisting myself into something else in an attempt to get a mans love. Lies to get something. You always lie to get something... but I fractured my consciousness when doing this. Split myself. Broken. So, this truth acts as a natural filter now - anyone that isn't mature, secure and authentic just cannot last in the face of it. I no longer attract any of the previous men I would due to this. So I found the nature of love and truth within the terrible friction of relationship. It made me realize there are many paths to the truth

100% agree regarding Ralston. This is the read I get on him through body language & facial expression/tone (as opposed to words). I don't view him as threatening or angry - just authentically expressive. My personal view is most attractive women ride on privilege they are unaware of. Sometimes they are though and abuse it. They don't have to invest in themselves. They are somewhat carried through life via appearance. 'Beautiful women die twice' Once when their beauty fades, and the other when its dirt nap time. I have (had) this warped pathology going where I was insecure in my intelligence and capabilities in life. I assumed any opportunity offered to me was because I was young and attractive, and not based on merit. I saw the privilege of attraction early on. This made me sick. So, I flipped and invested into my attributes that had nothing to do with appearance, determined to prove to myself. I went the complete other direction. I don't think this is normal though. I just naturally valued my intellect and capabilities over anything appearance based. Imposter syndrome drove me to work on myself even more-so. But I was always concerned with existential matters since I realized what death was - around age 11.

I didn't leave him because he showed vulnerability. I left him because he wasn't able to see the issues he thought were between us - requiring couples therapy - were only stemming from him. He was blaming me for issues I had nothing to do with. Which, after he healed, he fully acknowledged. I left because I realized I was the block to his healing. In retrospect we were incompatible. Again, have some awareness regarding what you are saying - misappropriating behavior to gender. Man/woman in your statement can be flipped and it still be 100% valid.

I've personally been through and healed from some pretty bad attachment issues. Most of the time when you have attachment issues - you will attract someone with the pathology also. Anxious, ambivalent & avoidant attachment all gravitate to each other due to being 'triggered' to what they perceive as love. Due to the attachment issues the person doesn't actually have a clear understanding of mature and secure love. They are drawn the the type of love they are familiar with as conditioned by infancy. And it doesn't take much to cause these issues in an infants development. Any display of inconsistent care and affirmation from a caregiver can cause it. The smallest things... If you have these issues - you will naturally screen out securely attached people without even realising it as you won't be familiar with the love and affection they give out. You tend to attract instable individuals. Essentially - what you think you want ISN'T what you need. You feel love is the rush. Endorphins. For anxious attachment - people pleasing your significant other and hiding parts of yourself to make them feel safe, loved. Needing constant connection. Or you are avoidant and feel swamped from too much closeness. You feel your sense of self dissolve away... so you withdraw. Or you are ambivalent attachment - you sway between anxious (constantly needing reassurance, closeness) to avoidant (withdrawing feeling swamped). It's a horrible thing to have to heal from - my life has been filled with a constellation of people with this pathology. Needless to say attachment issues go hand in hand with poor boundaries. What healed me? A narcissist stomped my boundaries so hardcore I snapped. I just lost it. He made me realise how much I wasn't vocalising my needs and trying to please him. I was exploited - and I was to blame. I was complicit. I recognise love now, and I recognise I was not qualified in the slightest to know what I needed. It took a long time to trust that who I was attracted too was what was good for me.

@RendHeaven He's like a wild animal in expression. It makes for watching his talks fascinating

Oh yeah enjoy Rick - seen many of his Youtube clips

Do you think it is corruption? I ask because you can admire others - and simultaneously acknowledge their shortcomings. It is just more typical for people to erase the reality of their idols shortcomings As long as you are aware

I agree with the above - I do think he is showing a lot of bravery proceeding with the whole 'business as usual' for his podcast. Even trying to publicly heal. I view anyone in the public eye as having some kind of dragon armour. The anonymity of the internet shows you the depravity of what people are capable of given no consequences. And they go hard at the soft, vulnerable underbelly.

Unfortunately, it is a good case study for integrity. He stuffed himself up internally very badly. At the time I think he viewed what he was doing as 'acing it' as you phrase. But he walked away with extensive issues. After he went through the above I dated him for 2 years. He was quite committed during this time & honest about it. But he wanted to go to therapy with me a year in - which I wasn't interested in. I didn't realise it at the time, but he was more committed and invested than me. I viewed him within the frame of previous history as a bit of a womaniser. This actually prevented me from engaging more deeply with him. I do regret this deeply, as I recognise I was holding his history against him instead of seeing the man before me. Truly, as he was. I bounced after the therapy conversation. He's a fireman now, married with a kid to a beautiful woman. Life goes strange ways

This one is Vylanas PR stunt. It's to wave the flag of empowerment. That she is 100% complicit, empowered and equal to Aubrey

There's talks of baby Marcus' and relationship constellations not 5 minutes in Fucker hasn't learned a thing. Only a nail gun to the head will alter his reality at this point 😜

@aurum breakfast 😈💀 IM GOING IN

Some of the shit Jim Carrey spits makes me think he has had an experience also

@Ramanujan My real life work is all people, meetings, phonecalls. Deadlines, project cost blowouts, late deliveries, yelling clients. It's very stressful for most people. The forum and dealing with issues here is like a happy break believe it or not... People used to be more of an issue for me. With time you will develop better skills with them 😊 Once you realise everyone just wants something, and you learn to quickly work out what that is - you have the choice to give it to them or just turn away. Most people just don't stick with the problem long enough to find a solution or develop mastery

This is a good assessment. In my 20s I saw lots of this dynamic - within my social circle one guy was very attractive and sought after by the women. He fucked it all up by banging with them all behind their backs. Basically, shit in the paddle pool. My girlfriends at the time all wanted this guy, and all seriously thought they had something special and individual with him - they were all hiding the fact they were fucking him from each other. Mental. I think there is a huge hurdle for incels that is almost insurmountable. Social isolation and the insular way modern society is structured enables reclusiveness to an extreme degree that can retard social growth. And without the social rapport with women the only draw cards are flashy qualities like looks, charm, humor etc. Clubs, bars. My perspective is limited because I always operated in social circles and saw sex and dating from that lens. I only stopped being in romantic relationships by choice. I decided to work on myself for a while. I actively dropped my social circles as they no longer served me. But the fact *I* made the choice is the difference between currently feeing content - and feeling like I have no control and operate from scarcity. Being on this forum opened my eyes to the plight of men who aren't as socialized out of consequence.

I don't have a limiting mindset with this tenure - I look at as a way to assist with the growth of others on the forum. Overall contribute here to raise the collective consciousness. Sometimes you have to be the arbitrator of consequences to achieve a goal - in this case moderating a forum to create an open peaceful environment to explore reality. Maybe actualized.org will reach a critical mass... singularity to swallow itself into infinity😈 Plus, I'm the oldest of 5 siblings and work in construction. I'm used to giving it to people ... with padded gloves of course! But I don't hesitate to call you on your shit. I know I can be prickly, especially when I don't have any rapport with the person. But I feel I am fair. Managing a business taught me that. Also, it's a nice way to pay it forward to Leo, who's many varied perspectives have assisted me along the way. Even though I don't always agree

Yeaahhhhhhh hell yeah all thank you There are other female mods I thought? I appreciate! I try to present alternate perspectives. But mostly I'm all about action... action action get it DONNNNNEEEEEE

😈

Literally and metaphorically CRUSHED IT ! From the not knowing comes effortless power

Yes I cop immense shit for not drinking. People attempt to shame you 'Oh loosen up' 'Have some fun'. It's basically because your teetotalism shames THEM, so they project back onto you. They feel you are morally judging them when no. I just don't want it. Simple. It's about me. Not YOU. Plus, aussie drinking culture and construction go hand in hand... its fever pitch over here...

Well said and to add on - a lot of the cerebrilizing the whole issue and trying to form a system/frame to understand ends up causing limiting beliefs. Excessive 'thinking' try to resolve the issue FEELS like action - when in actuality these men aren't out socializing. There's a lot of psychology behind talking about things feeling like actually taking action and triggering dopamine. Don't feed that system with talk. Act. You overcome fear through action. Not thought. Exposure therapy aims to desensitise one to fears. That mechanism works to reduce fear so you can build state. I highly suspect many of the red pill men just aren't socialising enough. And that is evidenced by lack of anecdotes with detail from memory. All based on vague observations and pilled content designed to disempower and sell you something. Preying on vulnerability.

I understand this. I raw dog reality now - no substances (unless you mean coffee which is almost a psychedelic to my system it is so potent). Bourbon turns me into a fucken demon. I have permanent injury/scars to my ears from getting into fights with women at clubs. Think me poking people eyes and getting thrown out. I lost most of the integrity of an earlobe because my fighting partner got to my dangly earing... Wine makes me sloppy and sleezy. Gin makes my giddy, hyper and focussed. Tequila I black out quickly. Needless to say you can see why I quit....