Natasha Tori Maru

Hehehehehehe The raw majesty, awe, wonder & delight of the substance generated between the interaction of subject & object

Non-duality is only half the story - think of it as a step on the journey. Endless journey. I mean - not a bad place to be ⊂(◉‿◉)つ

@rd5555 ^This We might need some more details to assess. First question - are you attempting to mentally think or reframe your way out of something with a process to fix a mental process gone awry? Taking a wild stab with the above - but a big mistake many make is trying to think your way out of a problem only taking real world action (ie physical or applied) will solve. In any event, we may need a couple of concrete examples to dissect to offer up a solution

Only If I take over 5g in one dose - so I tend to split it up. I notice greater thirst but not bloating. I drink around 3-4L of water a day, not including from the vegetables I eat. The water retained is experienced as intramuscular rather than the typical water retention you feel when it is in surrounding tissues. Hard to describe - I feel fuller and more powerful! Still going strong at it

Precisely - and that surrender is so freeing. I fiercely engage with life because I know I can always make it happen and it will be okay - until it isn't and I die No need to worry, it will come as it comes. I do feel lucky to have not had any indoctrination at an early age. You see all over the world - even these forums - individuals who have their reality challenged, by psychedelics, near death experiences - and they default back to beliefs instilled in their developmental stages. It speaks to the hidden beliefs we all have underneath our conscious mind. Beliefs never really looked at or questioned.

Yes - deep sleep. No object. Death - no object. But aware.

@Jehovah increases Do you live in Perth? Ice hell hole that incinerated me in summer - but I may have been in the sketchy areas! I never went clubbing or checked out the nightlife I will admit - I have in Melb/Syd. I figured the OP wanted a larger city. The shit double standard is I get in everywhere free

To answer OP: I don't know - unknown experience. So no belief - just not knowing. Total uncertainty. I wasn't raised with any belief system, thank God. So nothing to default back to (which seems to be a really common occurrence, and mechanism of the subconscious mind). I was only raised with 'You create' by my rather weird artist grandfather.

Sydney / Melbourne 100% Bit harder in the smaller cities - forget Perth/Adelaide

BLASPHEMY!

On psychedelic use for spirituality - and not to derail, more to bring some awareness to misunderstanding. I have extensive history of use. I consider myself retired - the following is my experience. Psychedelics, used correctly, should be breaking your false beliefs - lifting the cataracts off your iris - to see with clarity. They are not to be used for a simple state change in a recreational manner. Used correctly, they will shatter the false self - the illusory self/deception & assumptions - in a similar way self-enquiry, insight and then integration can do. Just as with self-enquiry, integration of the insight must happen after the session. They can show you the nature of your experience without the self - ego construct - in the way. To me, if they aren't being used to disintegrate false beliefs, deception & assumptions - they aren't to be used. Not everyone requires the force of psychedelics and can deal with how extreme they are. Some only need the self-enquiry scalpel to remove the cataract. Some need the psychedelic laser eye surgery to force clarity. Some people respond to a simple push into questioning for their illusions to shatter. Problems arise in the interpretation of the experience & whether or not we are taking our ego into it. And, unfortunately, without proper guidance and intention, users can often form up a bunch of new beliefs based on the experience, instead of look to what was removed and revealed by substance use.

Christ guys don't shit in the paddle pool. Behave with some integrity. So disappointed with the interactions here (not everyone). If you have a lot of charged emotions just empty that shit into the journal section. Learn stoic boundaries instead of having to crush opponents. It speaks to YOU having been crushed in the past and not knowing how to handle it with stoicism, thinking retaliation solves it. And that means standing your ground without the need to smash the opponent. ' No. ' will end someone more effectively than giving them juice to fight back with nasty words. I hate having to hand out corporal (so to speak) punishment but it will happen if this continues.

My apologies - I did not intent for it to come across as this! I good friend recently pointed out I drive so hard towards solutions it can come across as if I have removed the human element from the equation - if I make sense? I meant to express that, if I were in your position, I would try to be aware and conscious of my own reactions in an attempt to understand their roots. But not as the primary driver for connection with your lady. Just something to consider if anything does come up. It is in my nature to datamine (if you will) for insights whenever I have an experience in reality. I tend to project this onto others also - don't mind me!

@theoneandnone Oh wow okay - well - this prompted me to ask myself: 'What makes one draw the conclusion of solipsism as a result of noticing the patterns of synchronization in reality?' I do not draw that conclusion - why do you, do you think? I do not draw such a conclusion because there are so many possibilities for an explanation behind synchronicities. To narrow it down to one explanation with an incomplete dataset to explain reality seems like a mistake.

Some individuals tend to have less discernment by default. Being aware of this can mean it is simply cleaner and easier to steer clear of problematic characters than can muddy the water (so to speak). Less energy wasted sorting the wheat from the chaff & more on application of clean principal. It can be safer to act in this way until one trusts in the development of their own discernment.

🎯🎯🎯

I get to look forward to some surprises generated in my experience, when visiting the forum!

This caught me - it is important to realise she is bringing this OUT in you. You have that within you also, she is just opening it up within you. You already have that capacity. This isn't always clear with avoidant attachment. In any case, I had a think on this while walking the dog. I think if you can maintain stoicism for a bit, it might be sensible to just observe as you have been. Draw no conclusions. But keenly watch, with discernment, how you feel yourself reacting to her. No doubt, that feeling is arising through a hidden belief or conclusion you have subconsciously come to, that begs to be looked at. Feelings point to thoughts and beliefs in a way. Sending good thoughts your way 🌱

@Jannes I understand. I used to be avoidant myself - I am not sure if you feel like this - but I used to feel like I was losing my sense of self around my partner. I felt the need to withdraw to gain that sense back. I had bad boundaries around this, so I never made it clear why I felt the need to withdraw to my partner as I was afraid of rejection. Ergo this caused a lot of confusion! And the familiar push/pull. You can heal attachment wounds with someone who is securely attached. If they can hold space and remain steady while you confront the hard conversations, it will act to help you understand there is no need to withdraw. Securely attached people will make you feel valid and okay for speaking about your needs and boundaries. Unhealthy or immature individuals will not be able to tolerate such conversations without feeling threatened - even if subconsciously. So having this conversation with her may act to reveal if she has some attachment issues (by observing her reaction) or of she is just genuienly an earnest and flamboyant woman 🙂 It is unfortunate that healthy, secure attachment appears 'boring' to those with attachment issues. The view of love is slightly off, thinking the thrill and adrenaline of it, and the sacrifice of the self and needs, is love. So one naturally dismisses a healthy individual as boring because one cannot recognise healthy love. I think having an open conversation about your own behaviour in reaction to her may be the only way to go. Which carries inherent risk. But any other path will lead to this issue not being addressed and becoming a pattern of interaction that leads to resentment

Ouroboros of Solipsism

Probably should have created a poll to capture forum users interest, so you don't have to sort through the silly negative posts. Like another user said, I am happy to make an appearance, but would need 6months time to plan ahead. Being in the down unda all that 💀 I think I would be less of an attendee, and present more within an assistive capacity; I've done my time with psychedelics, but know how to support those on trips. Happy to pay the fee, with no expectations for anything relating to my time. That is, if it would be welcomed Faciliated work is totally different to anything online. People are softer and nicer in real life - for those posters thinking it would be a shitfight. People only have a steel pair online in my experience. You would be surprised how lovely people are when body language, facial expression and unfiltered tone are in play 😀

By open up, do you mean talking about history, experience and feelings/emotions? Or just expressing emotions and letting them come through with authenticity? Curious to know, of she is opening up in a healthy manner with sense, as someone with secure attachment would. Or if she may possibly have some anxious attachment, which is characterised by opening up way too fast to see intimacy as soon as possible. Most people have some attachment issue - only 25% of the population (or hereabouts) have healthy secure attachment. I touch on this, because you mention her emoting causes you to 'distance' yourself (if I understand you correctly). I wonder on this - if you retreat - your lymbic system senses some threat or intrusion by her. This leads me to think you possibly may have had someone close to you with bad boundaries and intruded on you in the past. There is usually a pattern... If you have avoidant tendencies you will attract someone anxious. It is the nature of the animal. Not sure if any of this hit the mark, just some ideas based on your post (with a lot of assumptions!) 🙏

I have a huge weakness for musicians... SHHHH NATASHA, SHUT THE FUCK UP

You've got some testicle on you, I'll give you that ❤️