Natasha Tori Maru

There's something to this - we all just assume our thoughts are ours don't we?

@ivankiss You think there is much self left for James to feel attacked? THERE YOU GO, FOUND SOME MORE SELF RIGHT HERE

@Cireeric Straight to the playlist Everyone knows this - but there is NOTHING like the voice of an electric guitar opening up to relentlessly rend emotion into your soul. And your chest is shattered like glass as you feel it ripping open your chest in heartsong:

So, a limit?

Why the fuck did they turn Wendy into such a lazily written Mary Sue? Girl boss problem. None likes a women, or man, with a stupid amount of plot armour. Zero dynamics to the character. In fact the characters were what let this down. If I don't give a chit that they are being shredded by alien mate there is an issue... Episode 8 hit me like a limp noodle

@nerdspeak Yes this is important - one of the big benefits to following an established path is that there are structures in place to catch you when you fall. They have tradition that acts as a guardrail when really going deep. I think it's one thing they get right. Discernment is key.

I think it is more ones view, judgement, value attribution to a 'thing' when there isn't a priority placed on truth, but personal bias. Mostly I would say... I have to think some more. Beep bop haven't had coffee yet 🤪

@theoneandnone To be candid, some of my experiences of - realization? Not even sure I can call it an awakening. Such a loaded term... were pretty destabilizing. I am familiar with the looping recursive thoughts. The mind thrashes around wildly while it tries to grasp at immaterial thoughts/concepts/ideas. In the past heavy grounding is the only thing that assisted me. Engage in reality - movement is a big one. Walking, take a shower. Anything that forces your mind to pay attention to feeling perceptions can help if you are trying to integrate something. The only way out is through. One foot in too scared to jump is going to draw out the process. Your posts come across to me very loaded with a mixture of frustration, fear, anxiety, anger and worry - these feelings won't hurt you. The mind makes it feel like the whole world is ending and entwined with these feelings. But letting them come through you and fully experiencing them can release their hold. It might be helpful to know - if you are experiencing a feeling over and over and don't know why - it is coming from an unconscious thought. And that thought, at its root - lies a belief. And only by reverse engineering and exploring the feeling can you verify if this belief is true or not. It seems to me you have isolated the thought - solipsism - and are tied in trying to isolate if it is belief/truth. This can only be done by looking to experience in reality. The mind is very good at planting things in the unconscious parts - look to your experience. When you are a child you are fixated on everything in reality in wonder - the bricks, the trees, the sky - and then as you grow up you don't even notice that anymore because you need to go buy milk. Your mind blanks it all out to focus only on what is needed to survive. Otherwise, you would bumble off into the woods in distraction at the butterflies. It all gets relegated to the unconscious parts - which is why raising consciousness level is paramount as you see the truth of things. Shit man I dunno if any of this helped - I hope it did. Maybe even just the fact that I tried to help, helped <3

I've been a bit busy working 6/7 day weeks so haven't had time to paint - here are some sketch exercises to experiment with form and motion. Might use one as the base for a proper work later:

@Sucuk Ekmek Absolutely! Mastering the use of black came later in my work. I found it very difficult to work with as I needed a light touch. Which, incidentally, is rather like moderating this forum It is a shame images cannot capture the textures in our works Same! I remember learning this from my grandfather. You learn all the tricks the brain plays with the visual field - and how to work with them to render light, shade etc. I love how being an artist or creator forces us to deconstruct the appearance of everything

I would recommend always staying grounded by looking to your experience. Your thoughts and concepts cannot pollute the raw truth to be found there, as long as you prioritize clarity.

@Dodo I love this one from Rupert, always worth repeat listening as you follow the path

Oh damn, one I haven't heard - anthem to the afternoon 10k run - thank you very much

@ivankiss mate wtf are you linking me my Spotify rotation??? Syncopation and discord are my jam I think I probably have similar taste to you - Bohren and de Club of Gore gets thrashed 😁 Let the sun rise and it's rays burn your rage away

@Beans yeah she has some animalistic essence Who knew a bird riding a giant knife could invoke a FEELING: https://youtu.be/wwjlVlLAyds?si=gwdUYQPzIKhBwKbk

@ivankiss Ikr? Lady heartbreak That album got me through some evil chit Ice cold seduction

This pattern is repeated over and over. Obviously I am not going to go into any wild conspiracy conclusions, but every time there is a huge announcement it coincides with some other chit. Same with that comet people are claiming is an alien spacecraft. Controlled 'disclosure'

Solipsism is cope for consequences 😈 muahahah! Ngl though @Someone here's advice is best: recognise that your thoughts about solipsism are just a bad habit. Something you do automatically without consciously deciding to. That is all. You aren't plagued by solipsism 'oh the thought! It befalls me, oh no!'. It's simply a mind fixation - it's a compulsion exactly like OCD. A thought compulsion. You have control over it. In addition - you recognise it is unfalsifiable yes? The survival mind wants certainty. It craves it. So it can feel secure. Safe. Ensure survival. Solipsism is activating the amygdala into overdrive which is why you are obsessed with the idea. But please don't hurt yourself ❤️ As much as we all fight about this topic, we are actually all here because we share genuine interest in truth. Gotta love all the peeps here for that 🙂

So the answer is 'you already are' No wonder AI vomits up dump truck answers - it's the sum of the binjuice of humanities left overs 💀🤣

@Salvijus

You could look at all of the above... as mini 'deaths', no? If we take death to mean - end. Because I feel the same as you - only I consider all of that death But! I do not obsess about it. I am committed to its inevitability. It WILL happen to me. Knowing this dismisses a lot of the thoughts around it. If we are talking about just the end of the subject-object experience permanently? No obsession for me

Absolutely. I really try to figure out just how one can become more resilient to stress. I lead and train the team I work with at the office - and it is HIGH stress. A revolving door for people who cannot do construction from the back end and handle it. It is a big one for me - I can only come to the conclusion it is nature & nurture. I think by nature I am confident and resilient - toward the higher end of the spectrum. I always took this to be a product of my experience; I have seen some evil shit. Been through evil shit. And have a massive capacity for stress. I used to labour under the assumption this arose in me because of hard challenges in my past. Each horrible thing I experienced very much prepared me for the next challenge. And so on and so forth. Until I had such a high capacity for stress, I struggle to even comprehend it myself - especially retrospectively. And so, because I overcame so much and became stronger - I went through life assuming anyone who faced challenges could reframe and grow from it. Siphon out the positive from any bad experience and learn the lessons to be had there. I projected this onto others. A 'golden shadow'. I truly believed everyone could do this and boy oh boy was I HARD on people when they fell short. Then I begun working with my sister. She went through similar trauma as me, the same environment. She was exposed to slightly less horror I will say. But she has no capacity for stress. She suffers from anxiety attacks with only a slight push. She isn't able to see positive from past experiences unless they made her happy in totality. She constantly worries how she will be perceived. Worries for her safety - won't walk down the street in the dark. Worries about how a cashier will think of her order - similar to your friends pathology around going to McDonalds in the dark. Bit long winded - but in the example above, it illustrates how 2 family members can be exposed to the same trauma and walk away with totally different understandings and lessons. And our responses could not be more different - I have no regret and am stronger as a result; she feels she has had an unfair and bad life, and has been weakened. Our minds did totally different things with the experience... all in the mind. And indeed, how strange our minds are! I can tell you though - my sister lets our past define her. And define her future. I do not. I don't even think on it. Unless to reveal a story such as above to illustrate a point. I have no attachment to my past. I recognize it as a story about someone. It doesn't limit me. I have no attachment there... So I can see how spirituality has altered my mind and how I have been able to reframe my experience in a way my sister simply cannot. And she is not interested in spirituality, nonduality, inquiry - any of it. Looping back to @Someone here - I think he could be in a great position to tackle the stress of addiction head on, because he is in a relatively good position (from what I gather, I do not know all of his circumstances) to do so. He can build resilience to stress while he has stability in other areas. Because if there is one thing I know in life - it comes to fuck you in the arse with no condom in a sudden and shocking way. Your whole existence and way of being can be deleted at the drop of a hat.

What stood out to me here was the level of resistance to seeking out bread to eat (survive). I think with the removal of nicotine you will have to face that stress (as well all do) and then work on acclimating until it is a norm and not an issue to deal with. Easier said than done, I understand. But that passage was an interesting contrast to my own, as stress for me only arises when serious physical injury or sickness comes about. There was a time when I endured stress from situations you describe - but then life came and fucked me up so hard the reality check was brutal. I do not say this to minimise your struggle. Because the mind and physical addiction is up there. More as an observation that every small challenge you smash prepares you for the next 🙏🌱

@ivankiss Ha ha ha - you need to file a restraining order against that big brain boy. Alexa: If all my experience of everything is inside, behind my eyes, in my nose, in my ears - why do we think reality and matter is outside?