Natasha Tori Maru

@Leo Gura hey boss... Christmas special video? Plez?

Yes my example was an acute scenario, I do agree. I suppose we would need to branch off into acute & chronic fear situations. I am firmly of the opinion any form of chronic fear that is leading to immobilisation and inhibition is a deeper psychological issue that I am unqualified to deal with. This implies that normal operation of the individual is not working - which is one of the criteria that one generally defines for a pathology, and formal diagnosis. I feel chronic fear of this type is not something that can be assisted by myself and requires a trained professional. But the topic of hard work - it is a perspective/belief issue. And I will always maintain that courage is the quality needed as a driver to push past fear. Hard work and labour are a matter of perspective.

Mic drop We cannot be our best for others without taking care of ourselves, first and foremost. As counter intuitive as that can seem. You are directed to put on your oxygen mask first in an air-emergency. Ouch - can relate. Been there (◍•.•◍)♡

It is always the presuppositions that lead to misunderstanding in arguments - the definition of 'intellect' is case in point here! And do we not think this also may tie into the blog post regarding meditation? Because there are many forms of meditation - and we again presuppose one form is being spoken of by Leo. If he is referring to a wider scope of all forms of meditation; then one cannot really have serious intellect without it. The deep enquiry into the nature of existence would mean we address assumptions and presuppositions... we approach our own thinking with such awareness as to go meta with our thinking. To reveal our own bias. Bring clarity and depth to anything we apply ourselves to. We would probably disagree less. Realize where the misunderstandings lie. Be more accurate in our thoughts, logic and derivations. Co-operate on a global scale more. Achieve things never before seen. And maybe, just maybe, we might have higher intellect

@Miguel1 I tend more to relate to your words. @Joshe Do you think attempting to address fear directly is the way though? In my personal experience, attempting to reduce fear or alleviate it does not work. In fact - modern psychology also tends toward this; trying to eliminate fear tends to make it chronic. In fact CBD doesn't 'make anxiety go away,' but tests the belief that fear means danger. You expose yourself with fear present. I have never been able to reduce my fear by attempting to address it directly; I have simply had the courage to act anyway, regardless of the fear. Security never relaxed my fear - for myself - it has been ever-present in one form or another. And simply arises and manifests according to the domains to which I may have some doubt. I allow the fear. I acknowledge it. I breathe in and JUMP, regardless. I challenge this. You can be psychologically stable with profound fear present. You just require courage to act in the face of that fear by radically allowing it. And courage is about permission. Not force. And deep trust. If the above were true - I would have been unable to act to save one of my close family members when faced with grave danger. I was 'psychologically stable' in that I was able to act with conviction and clarity. My grounding did not collapse under pressure. I was filled with fear and still had the courage to act. And assisting in the situation necessitated putting myself in direct danger - increasing fear. I simply do not think reducing fear is the issue; the real issue is the beliefs unexamined in operation behind the scenes. In the shadows.

Driving around at midnight unable to rest, the white line markings of the road slicing through the landscape in sloping lines... https://youtu.be/InFbBlpDTfQ?si=UsHHgsfYBao1G8O1

I was quietly going to point this out to OP 😈 The slapping of labels onto things to 'assist in learning about the self', or 'defining the self' is actually the conformist 'temple' attitude; OP would never ever know about these terms, or feel the need to label oneself, if they had not learned about this though some external frame. And that external frame in this sense is an idealogy not inherent to themselves 🤣

Your sexuality and how you express yourself is totally private; you never need to justify what you like to anyone. Let alone family. If you do not fit in the confines of the box others want to put you in, it will cause them to be perturbed. But recognise that is how they choose to react. You did not cause that reaction. Just don't talk about it. There are many things people in my life do not approve of about me. I just don't talk about it. I do not hold it against them. I let it be. Might be helpful to ask yourself 'is there ever a reason to disclose sexual preferences?' particularly around family. For me? No.

What else are you going to do with your time but use it? It might be interesting to ask yourself; would you rather waste time in bed, scrolling etc? Or waste time at some sort of goal? At least the time spend MIGHT lead to something. The thing I worry about with your mindset is; you are going to face hard shit no matter what. Be it work, health (physical or mental), wealth, people sick or dying around you. Disability... I might be assuming, but you sound young and unchallenged. Life is going to come for you. Quickly. And if you don't take it by the balls with work and applying yourself it's going to crush those nuts, making your feel like a victim. Like you are a ball stuck in the pinball machine getting fucked up by the paddles, without realising you are the paddles. I think the most important takeaway from your OP is that working at a passion doesn't feel like work. It is about perception. Toiling at something we hate stretches time out into agony. Injecting yourself full force into passion feels like no effort at all. This is what it is like for me when I am painting; time stops. But my GOD is there a lot of work and effort involved in art. It is just, I do not perceive it that way. Not like how I perceive my construction job to be work, regardless of how much I have mastered it. This points to something powerful; it is not the actual hard work issue - it is a perception issue. It is how you are feeling about it. Not the thing itself. How we feel about things changes all the time. I mean - thank fuck right? We want feelings, perceptions and emotions to be transient states. When I think on the last few threads you have created around this topic - I go back to the thought 'this user hasn't found their passion yet, their drive. Their reason to wake up' (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤

https://youtu.be/uCheMBE8hq0?si=qs4aPV-xbMFABg3s

@Lord Kadaver sometimes true love, and expressing love, can be asserting boundaries. It is simply that when we aren't mature, have trauma, or attachment issues, this version of love is misunderstood. But it is a higher, more selfless love. Just like a parent who must discipline a child to protect them from harm; the child doesn't see this as love. It is not received like this from the child's perspective - it seems uncaring, what of the child's needs? But from the parents perspective; they are protecting and helping to grow the child. Ensuring safety while the child lacks the wisdom needed to thrive in the world. They love their child, and will protect them at all costs - even if that means they have to have hard words that the adult dislikes doing. It might feel bad within yourself to cut off your ex - but it is a loving act for both of you. So you can cleanly close the door and work on healing. It might not be what either wants, but that doesn't mean it isn't for the best. An act of love - but not fairytale love. Real love that entails sacrifice, maturity and surrender. If you were healed and able to have a friendship with this women, I can tell you from experience, none of these feelings of confusion would come up. Instead, you would feel a kind, warm regard and welcome an old friend. My experience, my experience 🙏❤️

I think Leo has expressed a very detailed and conscientious reply. The only thing I may add to aid in overthinking; imagine a child as they grow. They learn to roll. Then crawl. Then walk. The child has no room for overthinking, or thinking about the walking. It just does it. And repeats until muscles are built, reflexes honed. The process happens through trying and repetition. No need to analyse with the thinking mind disconnected from the event - only jumping into experience and reflecting through that. In a way you are almost rehabilitating yourself to life. You will need patience and grace for yourself. It sounds like you have been through a great emotional upheaval - you have my heart and well wishes ❤️🙏

It will never be forgotten... 'Because I can' conformity mindset of the rich

(⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

@Breathe really hard to say, because I wasn't using it for spiritual reasons - just bonding and experimenting. I had it in small crystal greyish form and via caps. So a full cap would be typical for me. I would never have found it useful for consciousness work. Not that sort of substance imo. I had visuals from it also - which I don't think is common. I recall going to see Daft Punk on it. During Aerodynamic got caught on a giant checker board I couldn't get out of. Then I saw gold zippers all over reality and as I unzipped them layers of vision were torn down to reveal new scenes. I recall that being the most intense MDMA trip, but I took a lot. It was tested as pure also (I never take anything I haven't tested with drug kits). I enjoy the 'slide out' part of the come up (if that makes sense) but I hate the surging waves prior to the backside/breaking on the shore. The come up feels too much, then I am gliding on a boogieboard of love, rinse repeat. Had to use a metaphor because I don't know how else to describe it. Had the most fun on it with partners. But yeah, the malaise I felt for a couple of months after mean I wouldn't do it again 😊

YMMV because everyone reacts differently; I experience a day or so of afterglow. I normally focus on sleep following MDMA. Small super nutrient dense meals without persuing the 'full' feeling people chase (which is not the currect way to eat anyway). Sleep recovery is higher with small meals. The 2 months following MDMA use feel depressed and malaise-like. Slight fog in the mind. I find it quite neurotoxic so I do not touch it any more. Using another substance on a comedown would overload my system I think. I am glad you came out alright 😊 I personally do not recommend MDMA.

Brah no one saying you can't 🤪 Just that it's silly

I share this sentiment also.

Enjoyed it a lot many years ago ❤️

Dunno if it has been said - might upset some FUCKEN 'gamer' branded/styled PC shit. We talking seizure inducing RGB lights, mice with fins and bolt on car spoilers, keyboards with turbo cyborg looking cancerous growths of plastic lit up like a Christmas tree... that shit. South/north bridge heat sinks that look like aluminium cladding with fins bolted onto fins , cold cathode lighting, custom waterloops with piping that looks like spaghetti intestines

@Shermaningeorgia Yep, and venting is okay. Me being a moderator has nothing to to with being right or wrong. More correct or less. Better or worse. It is a job. I hope you gather enough experience and evidence to prove your current modus operandi defunct; making enemies of people for traits they have no control over is a severely biased view and one that runs antithetically to the general spirit of these forums. And spiritual development in general. I only hope, that you view all experiences with women in equality, and do not filter out the possibility of real love and connection. Because this is what you stand to lose of your own volition with this myopic worldview.

@Joshe thank you so much for the reply ❤️ I think I gathered that you had actively stopped on the path, somewhere along the line... Or I felt there was a change in approach from you. I dunno, but there was something I noticed. Tbh there's a lot of grace and courage in your above statement - respect 😁

Realizing/seeing through the illusion doesn't make it any less real. The moon shining light is an illusion - it's not radiating light from itself as source like it appears to be. But it still seems as such and we do well to work with it in that manner. Imagine being in outback Australia under the bright, illuminating moonlight from a full moon, exclaiming 'I cannot see!!'. Refusing to walk in the bushland because you won't see the ground because the 'moonlight is an illusion.' This is what you sound like. Not that Leo needs defending - but like, why are you following him around trying to poke holes in what you think are issues with his conduct? It reads like you are personally offended at whatever level of integration you deem them to be at. It belies your own incomplete understanding - which is why your questions appear so redundant. You have the weirdest patterns of posting toward him. Just my perceptions. Feel free to disregard

@Bjorn K Holmstrom I like this - thank you. The beauty of intelligent design.

@Joshe I had a long think on how this process I engage in works and how I understand it integrating into reality and making shit happen. Or achieving shit, doing, succeeding etc. Went for a run for 60 minutes with this topic as my contemplation I think you are caught up a bit regarding the spiritual path, its progression and what is to come. There was, for me - in my experience, a clear path; growing up, learning concepts, mastery etc. And then - disintegration. Deconstruction. A build up, and a tear down. A relearning of what I had forgotten. Or a forgetting of all I had learnt. Both the same thing. I think the next steps on the path for you aren't clear - and your fear could be wrapped up in the uncertainty of the path yet walked. The potholes and rocks you cannot see below your feet, still in relative darkness. You are attempting to use the logical, thought driven & conceptual mind to 'see' the next steps. To project future outcomes and how things may play out. Hey - I may be wrong here - but I speak only to this because this used to be me, also. And so, with that preamble out of the way. I might move toward - what is a thought in your words, and understanding? Deconstructing this and launching into terrifying enquiry really turned me inside out on the path. Because I reached a point where I realized this is all mind. All mind. And that a thought is simply a contraction of energy. A wavering of consciousness. I movement of awareness. That is literally all I could bring myself to recognize is as. I soon made the connection that a thought - being a simple wavering/contraction of energy/mind - was no different to a chair. Or matter of any type. The constituents of a chair, broken down; wood, material, atoms, electrons, neutrons, quarks - all energy 'wavering', 'contracting', 'vibrating' at different levels. All forms of consciousness. All the same. All in unity. All infinite. I distinctly remember suddenly being aware I had no claim to my thoughts. My thoughts are the same as perceptions. As matter. As any other part of the reality we inhibit. The distinction broke down. So when I operate from a state of claiming 'I just do' or 'The body moves and does as it will' I do not necessarily claim I am not thinking - because all is mind, all is thinking, all is matter, all is perception. It is all the same shit to me. I simply no longer make claim to any thought. There is no effort. So all appears to rise as an impulse or instinct within the moment. I just act on what is highest priority. But it is not a conscious thing. It is a being thing. There is no distinction between thought or any anything else. It is all the same. So, thinking happens. Perceptions happen. Achievements are had. But not by me. By the intelligence behind consciousness. God, if you will. This is where trust and surrender come in. I know we have spoken on this in the past. I recall a lot of resistance to this from you. I perceive it is your identification with your intellect and thinking mind that is the block. Surrender and trust are what put you in alignment with the greater intelligence and flow behind effortless power. Anyway, maybe none of this will hit home - I surely do not mean this as an attack or lecture - merely to try to use words in a futile attempt to explain something that really cannot be explained with words unless you reside in the state of being. To experience truth.