Bronsoval

Here's where it gets tricky. To even identify as a person is false. There is no you. The "you" that you think you are does not exist. So this entire transgender thing regardless of conditions or reasons must be a play of the ego to protect itself. Maybe?

I have these episodes also I think. Sometimes I feel like all I can do is observe and I am not able to respond. Not only lack of speaking or being motionless, but a lack of concious thought entirely. Like a catatonic state. I wonder if it is my subconcious coming through to my concious state that causes this. It happens rarely, and I am not sure what causes it. Maybe journaling would help to see if there is a pattern.

I can not speak from personal expierence as I am not transgender, but I do have friends who are. I knew them all before and after the change. The thing they all have in common is that they were very clearly one gender (not an effeminate man or a masculine woman) and they sought out to make themselves more like the other sex. The order they did this in was the same. 1. The way they act changes. They suddenly become more confident and have a sense of purpose 2. New identity. They start dressing differently, change their name, etc. 3. Hormone therapy. 4. Surgery. 5. Deny "old" person ever existed. Every single one of my friends struggled with depression before the change. I think for many of them, it was more of a rebirth, and a new lease on life. I have no idea of their motives or their inner thoughts obviously, i just know what I have observed and I think it is interesting.

You can get rid of your ego by doing hard physical labor for most of the day. Focus on the methods and master each practice until it becomes second nature. Then help others to learn the physical labor. Do it for no other reason then because you are able. Not for pride, or for show, or for posterity. Do it because it needs to be done. This is the basis behind Shaolin Kung Fu. "Kung fu" translates to "hard work." Google "Shaolin monks"