caspex

I did a little contemplation on beauty and ugliness. While looking at pictures of dog poop(with parasites) and "ugly faces" on google, compared them with what I call beautiful stuff. All I can gather is that ugliness makes you uncomfortable and beauty makes you comfortable. With ugliness you see that thing and immediately refuse to have any connection to it whatsoever. You dont try to feel like it and be it while looking at it. There is resistance. While with something beautiful, you immediately start observing with great care, and become it and feel it. But what originally determines something as ugly or beautiful to then react to accordingly? I think it's a mix of, social conditioning(Which is slowly built into us and become automatic and feeling based over time) and survival(which is alr built into us and feeling based). Well, if this is the case, when looking at something you call ugly, should you try to look at it more closely and try to be it, feel it? Well I think this does work when trying to see the beauty in something. Becoming it, feeling it, and loving it as yourself. So beauty is love? And what is ugliness, but fear, in some sense. Fear is also just very contracted love. Then a new question arises, what is love?

Can't wait, feels like an eternity.... (lol)

For bhakti yoga you can try reading KRSNA The supreme personality of godhead by Swami Prabhupada.

How can you do 30 mins off the bat? Or have you been practicing? I can't even do 5 mins.

Wish I was old enough to try some myself! Lucky you.

When I realized no self, I had to tie it in with the insight that reality is also infinite, nothing and perfect. Then that I and everything is God, everything is one and eternal. Which is my true self. Then I felt perfectly Happy and content. Problem is, that I am pretty damn sure that ain't the deepest I can go. When I am in that state, I don't care to go deeper. But right now I do. I think I have realized my nature at some level, be it shallow or deep, but it did give me that contentment and happiness so I'd say the theory checks out. I don't know how to keep it at baseline tho. I figure that the answer is practice. I keep recalling that perfect happiness whenever I can.

Yeah if it existed back then it would have been done for stage blue. But it didn't. Rn breast implants are done mostly from stage orange. Is what I think the book is tryna get at. Chinese people tying foot is more tied in (pun intended) with tradition and dogma than a women choosing to get breast implants. Getting breast implants is more to stand out and tying foot as tradition says is more for fitting in and conforming to tradition. This, imo, is why that is said in book. I haven't read the book tho lol

Yeah it's selfish and biased, this is what you need tho. Don't feel guilt about wanting enlightenment. Non-desire and all that shit will really happen properly after enlightenment. You are selfish until YOU are not.

Scan with thin lines from above your head, slowly, until you reach your eye level or nose level, now adjust it until it feels like the scan hit 'you', from where you think 'you' look from. That is what atleast happened with me. I never knew I identified so strongly with that spot until I did the thing. So that's like discovering the ego without labels. What it essentially is, is identification with sensations. Now be it an actual physical sensation, memories of certain behaviors, memories of particular thoughts, an image, some sensation of an internal spot in the body, a compliment, an insult, some feedback, anything to do with language that you think describes you, etc. I term them all as a sensation since those are all either memories, imagination, thoughts or physical sensations. Memories, imagination and thoughts are really the same thing that just pop up, and that's a sensation too. Usually 'you' are rooted in a lot of stuff from tons of memories to tons of spots in the body. Hard to notice. So what does ''you' being rooted in these things' even mean? It means identifying with these sensations. But what is identification but yet another sensation that pops like all other thoughts/sensation? There is a sensation, and then there is another one that says that sensation is you. Well, how does that identification, or rather, sensation that says the other present sensation is you, say that? Say that, "This sensation is you". From what I can notice, it says that by feeling like "This particular sensation needs to survive, continue, and live on. It should not change." It's a strong sensation of wanting to maintain whatever sensation you identify as you. So who identifies? No one because identification itself is a sensation that just pops up. Btw, as I was finishing re-reading that, I just got terrified as I just realized I am nothing. fucking hell. I have never been so terrified in my life. As the thing I am terrified from is me. It's so close that it is me.

Definitely a yes from me.

Procastination This is the only flaw I am not working on.

If I do not exist then who is thinking? No one If no one is thinking and thoughts are just getting born in consciousness and God/Me is aware of those thoughts. Then why there are specific thoughts but not random. Who decides to think something specific? Isn't "The thoughts are consistent and specific" a thought itself? Consistency might be an illusion as you rely on your memories, but your memories also just pop up like every single thought and action. Are objects, thoughts, etc... are automatically and randomly getting born or coming out of God/Me/Awareness/consciousness? Or God/Me creating them consciously? I don't know about this but I think since God is prior to "Who", I think it's wrong to say that God is doing anything like a person would. But at the same time God is everything and pure being. Suppose if any specific thought gets born did god decided to create that specific thought or it just got came out automatically? As I said God is prior to "Who" so I think it's wrong to think of God doing stuff like person. And from my direct experience it all just comes up automatically and spontaneously, I really have no say. Since I do not exist in the first place. Each of these words and your thoughts while reading this and also after when you think on this, each and every moment of that thought came up spontaneously and automatically. All of this said tho, you have to see all these for yourself, this is just like pointers

i'd say to start of work on being able to toggle linguistics in your brain on and off. like become a baby and not know something is a word when looking at the text, and not thinking of names of the objects you look at, stop thinking in words, etc. A good way to do this is to let the inner voice play out as you see stuff and notice the voice and like let it go. Once you can do that, and turn of linguistics, focus on your sense of self and try to fully get aware of it and let it go as well. If you feel like there is no center or you, no such this as perception and only this pure being, that should make you conscious of awareness atleast on that level. This is how it happened for me and i brought in and mixed various realization to unknowingly realize being. I KNOW for a fact that it goes wayyyy deeper. And I am working on that, but you gotta work on reaching their first.

well from my experience, you always have a long way to go. ego, or atleast the way my ego kept on this path by thinking "I am almost there" in every awakening. If it truly knew how much work is required, it wont even go for it. Therefore I think you have had some awakening on a shallow level (still deep relative to your usual peeps) and still have ways to go

Sorry for not explaining but what the fuck? hahahahaha man how? what? i dont think i can ever understand this moment, but it's so amazing. Normal and mindblowing at same time. damn dude.... Ok I have calmed down a bit, I am sure many of you here already know what I am talking about. I just want to share yet another experience. I just drank a lot of tea, it is 12:38 AM and I honestly don't know anymore. It feels amazing and overwhelming. The present moment and being. Why is it so amazing? I feel like taking deep breaths like I just ran. Man I can't get away from this, it's literally everywhere, it's in me, it is me. I am not there. The ego is there, but not me. God damn. Man I want to cry. I just can't anymore. FUCK MAN. What have I been doing all my life. I should have been doing nothing man. Thanks Edit: I fist laughed then almost suddenly started crying. And now I am really really really really happy.

DMTea, jk. Just normal indian ginger chai.

Hey God, can God get a God of God?

gotta exhaust the urge

as in making IT my normal state. So I can start taming it. You guys in later stages, please provide me with some advice. Thank You.

@tsuki I have alr got some good pointers through the replies, thanks.

yeah i want more god/love videos in the future

well you cant trick yourself if you know you are tricking yourself.

I have had that a couple of times but they only lasted for a few moments

Damn, yeah. Ok I think it is starting to make sense, wow yeah, that's simple really. Fuck, I think I got it on some shallow level because now I am questioning why there should not be reincarnation. Reincarnation is right here, right now, it's not against my direct experience. my direct experience proves it. Damn.

Reincarnation. How? That whole idea goes against 'my' direct experience. Yet 'I' believe it might so be the case because 'I' believe highly woke people found it out. So how do I find it out as well? I as an ego am not. So I don't know what reincarnates. There has to be some truth to this. I wanna verify it through experience. If anyone has, please help me. I have 0 experience in this.