caspex

Well, I can't do anything. It comes on its own. But the thing is, it only comes because there is a desire or intent to know. If it came without it, everybody would be god-realized.

I have been contemplating on what makes sound and movement different from silence and stillness respectively. But as I observe deeper and deeper, I cannot seem to find a difference between them. It's a mindfuck for me. When listening to music or someone talk, silence itself seems to define the sound. I couldn't interpret the sound if there was no silence. But I tried to focus on does silence actually follow the sound? And if silence does follow the sound, what is sound while it is happening. All I got when looking into this was a mindfuck. That sound IS silence, But then how can I differentiate between sound and silence if they are literally the same thing. I have no idea. It makes no sense, yet it does. Sound seems like a wave into awareness, that pops up and down in different frequencies. But even it is popped up, it is no different from silence. I have no idea how this is. Same with movement and stillness. Movement is literally just infinite amount of stillnesses. But even without that way of thinking, it still is equivalent to stillness. It lead me down a rabbit hole. I had to contemplate distance/space. I realized that I just imagine space/distance including the feel of it(Just like Time). And it's not just about me seeing technically 2D images through my vision. It's the fact that there is literally no difference between any sensation at all. Vision = Sound = Every Other sensation(Physical, emotional or mental like thoughts). And that vision and all sensations are happening at the same singularity which has no location and no dimensions to it. It's literally nothingness. I am imagining everything including myself, and the imagination itself is part of imagination. A strange loop. So it's not that everything is beyond space and time, there is literally no space and time. What the fuck?

I kid you not, saw this same type of flower bloom in my vision from top down during a very, very deep meditation into focusing on the "I AM". It was white and out of nowhere(literally), came this vision of it blooming. At the time I was very emotionally invested so I paid little attention. But I couldn't help but think "Some chakra opened maybe" which ruined the focus and I had to step down. But good to know that it may mean something nice.

Man I can relate with that experience. It feels like this is just it and you are done. It's a sudden realization which is multitudes higher than your current understanding and it fucks you up. For me it has been sudden breaks into the robotic flow of daily life and realizing, "."

Pure conceptualization but, what if you dont need to use the body to recreate a DMT breakthrough? What if Astral Projection works and you could achieve a big ass breakthrough through means of an Astral or whatever body in some other world your projected to? Just conceptualizing because I have never experienced psychedelics, nor proper astral projection at will.

Maybe contemplate on "How do you feel lazy?"

Will require a lot of responsibility and work to pull off, and the results may be that it might run fine until Leo is alive or still managing, but after that, it's almost guaranteed to go to shit. So I think this much is enough.

Just gonna use this post/occasion to show how grateful I am for you Leo. You literally acted as a Guru for me and probably lots others when it comes to spirituality. Many aren't fortunate enough to be able to find a Guru, but your guidance is very helpful if one has an internet connection. Your work has helped me tons. Thanks dude, and Happy Birthday. Edit: I don't think repeated Happy Birthday's is gonna do anything. Maybe show how grateful we are, maybe that could add to his day as a gift from us.

I have read the book and, I believe that what he says in the book is most likely true. However, it's just a belief I hold for now, and I am actively trying to verify those things for myself through learning astral projection(I need to first verify this too lol). If anything works I can share with the forum if you want. Imo all this shouldn't be of concern until you realize the true self, nor will it work before that properly anyways(I think). And after knowing the true self, it's all just for play anyways. Also what Leo points out. Self/God-realization is more important than occult things, relative to wanting to understand the truth. Because those realizations are so meta that no matter whatever reality or state you go in, it'll be true.

At this point in life I will lose my integrity if it's very painful. If it's a quick painless death, I might go through with it but, 99% chance is I won't.

I need help. I have no idea how to surrender to 'the ox'. I have no idea how to kill myself. I see so much of my egoic tricks and it's so fucking disgusting. But ofcourse then I realize, me feeling disgusted of my egoic tricks is also an egoic trick. I see that I am the reason for all suffering and I NEED to kill myself. I have been trying to understand myself by focussing on the one focussing so much but it seems to be getting nowhere. All my previous realizations were bullshit ego games mixed in with little bit of mystical experience and truth. I do not have access to any substances and I am too young for that. All I got is meditation and self-contemplation. I am also very impatient and I don't know how to deal with that. I need help. How do I die. Please tell some tips and advice. I'll keep on meditating on myself.

I usually enter this kinda thing self induced by sleeping 4-5 hours, waking up, spending about 30 -50 mins doing something that keeps you awake but still somewhat sleepy. Then go to sleep with full awareness. Basically wake the mind up fully, not body.

In rest of the stages you do meditation, but in mother stage turquoise, meditation does you.

I guess we have only gone deep enough to just realize it? I have heard stories of yogis being able to materialize shit. So who knows.

contemplate What's the difference between me then and me now?

I don't know how well this will work for you, considering it's pretty 'stucky' for you. But you could try seeing the feeling that she gives you when you think about her, the feeling that you cant forgive, as yourself. and when you see that feeling as yourself, love yourself.

You can go from 'I can't do anything, I can only observe' to 'I can't even observe, there is no such thing as an experience/perception. Because there is no observer. There's only being.'

Just had one. God-consciousness and all these states, are always there. You do not have to recognize any beingness or awareness or anything, it is still there blatantly in your face when you are in ego-consciousness. You create a distinction which is the only difference. You get rid of the distinction and you have that 'recognition' of God or infinite awareness. There is never a point when you are not aware of all that. As @WonderSeeker said, You are always tripping!

What is/are your most recent mindfuck/s? Please try to explain. if you can, because I want to have them too.

I would say that's a sign of progress. I think your mind is tryna work something out of you suddenly back. And well, as usual, just keep going.

Damn, it's 40 euros for the inner engeneering here in india.

I have this feelIng with many concepts too. That I can think on it for an whole hour. But usually I just procastinate on these thoughts. Come to think of it, that's just egos mechanism to prolong awakenings. Cuz usually when I start contemplating into these, I get a big mindfuck.

How do you register? What's the cost?

Ye p much. I think that's how the definition goes

First things first, this video is in HINDI. So, I wanted to share this here specially because I find this very valuable and I'll explain what he says here, in a model. I am not posting this in high consciousness resources because I want to talk about and share the model he is proposing. I had an awakening last night, the Self-realization(not God-realization) while listening to some music and reading the pinned post on enlightenment by Leo. Just after that, I found this video in my recommended. This video is basically confirmed by the awakening I had before watching the video and another one of God-Realization some weeks back. Now what he say about the chakras is different from whatever I thought about them previously. And also makes it easier for me because he straight up says activation comes through inner understanding of certain concepts(I might've verified this firsthand). So basically contemplating on things. Now, I don't think this 'activation' is same as accessing the 'holy shit' possibilities of the chakras that people like to talk about. Activation means like all blockages removed, and is reverberating nice and good. Like the video is more about how to attain the bodies associated with these chakras. Disclaimer: It may as well be that he is just associating chakras with these to get people to contemplate into these topics for 'powers'. Which is a good strategy ngl. This model isn't supposed to be linear because I personally haven't and most of you here also haven't experienced it linearly. Muladhar (For Material Body): Possibility given by nature(N.P) = Sexual Attraction, possibility achieved through sadhana/striving(S.P) = Bhramhacharya. So basically, through total understanding of sexual attraction, you'll become a Bhramhacharya. Osho throughout the video reputedly says to not suppress, but to achieve total understanding into the natural possibilities so they can be transformed into the striving possibility. An example he gives is, "You are on your path but you see a boulder blocking your way, you get all upset because you think it is an obstacle, but through total understanding of the rock, you realize you can go climb on it and actually the boulder allows you to go on a higher elevation floor like a stairstep. You realize it's not an obstacle but a possibility. The boulder is still there sitting like before, but you realized it's actually a possibility." Swadhishthan (For Etheric Body): N.P = Anger, S.P = Forgiveness N.P = Fear, S.P = Non-fear N.P = Disgust, S.P = Love N.P = Violence, S.P = Non-Violence Again he says here to not suppress any of these or you'll just be stuck in them forever. Key is total understanding which will automatically transform these. Manipur (For Astral Body): N.P = Doubt, S.P = Faith N.P = Conceptualizing/Mental-Masturbation, S.P = Actual Wisdom So, he takes his time to explain Faith here. He says by faith he doesn't mean Dogma or anything. It's something that arises when doubt turns on itself and doubts doubt. When it understands itself, it transforms into Faith. Anahata (For Spiritual Body): N.P = Imagination, S.P = Will N.P = Dreams, S.P = Vision Says these transformations result in psychic powers like looking through walls, telepathy, astral projection, remote viewing, long-distance communication. seeing spirits, etc. By imagination becoming will he probably means very powerful manifestation. I don't have much experience of this one so can't say much on it. Vishuddhi (For Soul/Self(Atman) Body) Activated by: Self-Realization So here is very accurately describes what I felt just before finding the video. Self-Realization, meaning you realize the True Self. You are in bliss and peace. True Happiness for the first time. You see your true nature. But, a person here might still say there are different Atman in different people. Infinite Selves. In this person's mind, they think he/she realized 'her/his' self only. So basically they do see they are one with everything and their true self is infinite and forever, but they still hold the idea of their being other selves in 'other people'. (Though I didn't have this delusion in my awakening last night.) Biggest obstacle here is the Bliss, Peace, Joy. One might stop here entirely and not go further because all this time the struggle was from suffering. Now they got out so they wanna stay there forever. If one's seeking wasn't orignally for truth but for bliss then they will likely stop here only. He says that it might even take several lives to get sick of yourself/ this bliss to then to go further. But it doesn't have to be the case. I think since we know this trap we can just bypass it. Another thing he says is, till Anahata science can explain, research is going on and we can talk about these with language pretty good, but after that, starting here, language starts to breakdown and reaches it's limits. He says science can even reach into researching this too. But not after this. Language can be used to describe this and the next 2 ones but, it's gonna be very probelmatic for those who don't realize it already. Language used to describe this and the next two are often contradictory and don't make sense untill realized directly. Language fucks up a lot and creates a lot of delusions explaining these. Agnya/Agya (For Cosmic Body) Activated by: God-Realization Here he says, one realizes "Aham Bhramasmi". There is no you anymore, there is only Bhraman. Only being. Pure being. One can see infinity. Also idea of an 'experience' or 'perception' also breaks down because there is literally only being. Biggest obstacle here is that this is so full, (since nothing can be outside reality), one doesn't understand how to go further. Basically you can't go more meta than this since it's literally everything, including nothingness. I, actually experienced this one first hand. So during the God-Realization, when I realized I was completely alone as well, I noticed I felt a very strong magnetic field permeating through my head with the center of head as it's center. I remember thinking "This might be the closest I have gotten to noticing the Agya chakra in direct experience and have activated it.) OSHO says that someone here will just straight up deny non-being, because by definition, it is not. However, non-being can also be understood and is infact the next realization. Sahasrar (No Body stated) Activated by: Realization of Non-being He says maybe till Agya you could explain a bit in deluded ways but here it is completely impossible. So he doesn't say anything else about this. Final remarks: I am sharing cuz i find it p accurate cuz of my direct experiences. Just wanted to share cuz I can not find an english version of this video and this just too valuable relatively.