caspex

this is the word of God

This is exactly how I'd have replied back then if someone wrote the same reply to me. But I will take you on your word. Even then, the spiritual arrogance you mentioned in your op isn't that isolated from what I am talking about. Mine certainly stemmed from what I have described, and dissolved massively when I got rid of the overall 'arrogance' in my nature.

I had the same problem until a few months ago. This was the case for basically my whole life since I had developed some sort of superiority complex from my academic achievements, which only got stronger when I got into spirituality. I always had a suspicion of my 'narcissism' but it was never as bad as what was said about it online. So I thought to myself, "Hey I just like to be very honest, am comfortable with saying no, and possess a strong personality. If that comes off as narcissism then the others are mistaken.". Turns out, behind this surface level idea of who I thought I was, I was much more manipulative, to the point that I didn't realize it myself. See, it's very easy to come up with a defense for anything, I am speaking any opinion, viewpoint, or lie. Having a strong defense doesn't mean it's true, but to me at the time, it was "If I can defend it, it must have some truth to it!" "If I can convince the other that they were wrong, I was true!". I used this deception to often misdirect the blame away from me. This worked because if you know how to defend something, unless the other is really great at dissecting arguments / is great at deconstructing, they can't do shit to you. Not to mention that most others who would call you selfish, don't have great articulation, so even if they are speaking truth, you can easily fuck them over by confusing them of their own intended meaning. Or using some cultural pattern/rule/moral to make them admit they were 'wrong'. When I read about others describing their problems, specially regarding this topic, even if I had the problem directly, I would think while reading, "That can never be me.". Notice, are you doing that right now? I said to myself I was one way but was actually another. Every person has a pure side and an impure one. What I did was I looked at an idea of the pure side, thought that was all of me, but continued to be the impure devil I was. My friends found me to be selfish, narcissistic even. But I chalked it all up to "I am just bold." I legit couldn't bring myself to help my friends if they could do it themselves. "Why is this guy so lazy? Get a grip!". This also manifested in me as me giving unwarranted advice. Even after I fixed that, I was still very very selfish, and overrated myself. In fact, I believed that I had to respond to everything. I couldn't just accept someone telling me a fault of mine. You know realizations about "I am so selfish and full of shit" were almost always just me trying to 'achieve' this realization like others in this work. It was almost never genuine, and only showed me a little part of me that was selfish, not affecting my overall facade. The most fascinating part is that to me, I didn't realize ANYTHING. I felt as if I was the most normal, with no problems. It's not like I had the problems in my experience, I was just ignoring them. No, I was blind to the problems and processes at work. This reply makes me sound like a selfish monster but this was only one of the major parts of me at the time. I also had good parts, selfless parts that all formed the purer side of me. I thought THAT was really me, but I acted otherwise. Judging by your post and reply on this thread alone, you feel like the past version of me lol. I hope my reply helps you in some way.

I'd say trying to actually find a guru is a big part of the 'need'. Imo this tantric stuff seems the most exhilarating but dangerous.

Here's the hole, the insight here doesn't eliminate all regret. The insight here is about owning up to who you were and are. Regret is the resistance to change your image and owning up. But, regret is also resistance to adapt to new circumstance. It could have nothing to do with you or your choices. It could be that life was going good, and you get news that your son passed away in an accident. You would still feel regret and anguish. "Why did it have to happen?", "why did it happen to me?","I wish it had never happened" It's the same emotion, just not directed at you. This regret will not go away if you own up to who you are/were. It will go away when you own up to what life really is. See, this kind of regret happens when you have a certain image of what your life is like. So the regret here is the resistance to change you image of what your life is. It's the same thing as before, just that it's about changing an image that you projected onto 'life' rather than 'yourself'.

Yup, it's an excuse to bypass the thought-labour required to deal with wrong choices. Even though "I should have chosen the right action." sounds like taking responsibility, you are shying away from who you are/were. See the difference between saying, "I should have saved her." vs. "I didn't save her, I wish now that I had.". In the second one, you own up to who you are, in the first one, you assume you'd 'usually' save her but for 'some reason' you didn't. Owning up to who you are also nullifies regret to a big degree.

Well, if we are speaking at the level of God then there is most definitely no reason for pain other than that it is perfection. Why is it perfection? See, "why" assumes that there is something else, a cause to the effect. When we ask why, we say "Why [Effect]" with the answer being "[Cause]". But what if something is it's own cause? Then the answer to it's 'why' would be itself. So, Why is pain perfection? Because pain is perfection. This 'perfection' or 'God' or 'Being' is the bedrock of all questioning related to causation. So to answer your question of "why does God design pain the way he has" the answer to it is "Because God designed pain the way he has". Pretty much, there's no meaning behind it. We humans want to find meaning/cause in everything, which is the proper thing to do for survival. But this right here, is meaningless. Which infringes on our survival, so meaninglessness seems threatening, impractical, useless, unfulfilling, irrational, and "not a real answer". In reality meaninglessness/causelessness is perfection. The only way to grasp this 'causelessness' of 'why God designed the world the way it has" is to simply grasp it. Although, to be able to simply grasp it, you need to free yourself of delusions and stuff which requires work and contemplation. All the other reasons, imho, such as: Pain is there for growth. Pain is there so we burn all resistance, ultimately moving towards God and becoming one with it. Pain is there because before we incarnated, we chose this life to grow in specific aspects. Pain is there because we did bad things in past life. Pain is there because you are weak. Pain is there because you do not understand what it is. Pain is there because you resist it - are all relative reasons, that may be true, but are not their own cause. I'd say the purest answer would the one I provided, but it's definitely the least practical.

I appreciate your post because this is likely on many women's mind. Thanks for bringing it to my attention. The solution is to not be attached to the life that good looks bring you. You idealize the life where you are hot, therefore see more value in that, rather than your own life. To stop idealizing, understand that you'll still suffer the same amount as you do now, being hot will not reduce your suffering. This is because suffering depends on how you process life and being hot will not change that for you. You'll suffer different things, but it'll still be the same amount. In your current life, if you suddenly become hot, many of your issues will be solved, until new ones emerge depending on your new looks; and trust me it'll be just as bad as it is now, only in a different way. Moreover, what you desire is not to be hot, but to not suffer the suffering that comes with not being hot, which you can solve in this life, you do not have to magically become hot to solve that problem. The answer is simple, the work, not so much.

If your habits are coming back that means you are re-identifying with your old identities. Make sure you say NO to these identities, To say No you need internal strength and power of will in your gut. What more you need is an unconditional feeling of safety in your heart. These two things will give you the energy and protection you need to combat relapse. These are very literal sensations in your gut and heart respectively. You can go about the logical route trying to contemplate your problem, but it will eventually lead you back here. Problem is of inner strength, not of understanding. These two things develop when you integrate and master spiral dynamics stage Blue. Although by mastering Stage Blue, these only 'develop', to reach their peak form, I don't know yet.

You want some humor? Here ya go: @Leo Gura

It's not just trauma healing let's be honest here. Most people are traumatized by events in their individual lives, so healing those would already put you above most people, but you know what? That still leaves shit thrown on you by society itself, that we consider a normal part of being human because we don't know any better. That inner strength in your gut and in your heart, and that clarity in your head, the typical society robs you of all that and promotes actions that weaken these. Humans can be immensely strong internally, yet they are fragmented by trauma, and even when not, still not as strong as they could be. You see in stories characters with unbelievable integrity and will power... THAT'S a natural human being. THAT'S really normal. That is so rare because we do so many things in our day to day lives that weaken our hearts. I'll tell you a few insights I have gained from personal practice and exploration. The power of your gut is that it eliminates procrastination, gives you energy to keep your word, and be able to carry out anything you are capable of. The gut is the seat of willpower. When properly cleared of all blockages, when properly settled into, you are not in your own way anymore. Which is what is normal for a human being. And it's sad that it isn't for most of us. When this power is there, you want to LIVE, you want to EXIST to the fullest extent of what it means to exist. When someone interacts with you, they realize you are not an NPC, you fucking exist. The power of your heart is that it eliminates all fear, gives you a sense of home within yourself, a sense of utter safety that is unrivaled by anything external. It gives you the courage to carry out the tasks that you need to. While the gut is there for actual action and consistency, the heart is there for trust and assurance to eliminate all doubt and fear from your task. It gives a certain sense of sweetness amidst all this power. If everyone and thing in the world is against you, your heart is a home you can always go to. If there is no place for you to go in the whole world, this is the place you can go to. This is the ultimate thing you can rely onto for validation and safety. The power of the heart is fucking crazy. When you actually clear this place out and live from it, you become for other people what your heart is for you. In the words of Rengoku from the anime series Demon Slayer, THIS is setting your heart ablaze. You feel certain about your actions. You have trust and faith in yourself, simply because of this power you feel in your chest. The power of the mind is that it eliminates all fog from your perception. Meaning your mind is clear and your focus is absolute. Your mind is what discerns what action it needs to perform. Your habits, patterns and ego doesn't interfere anymore with your decisions and perception. There is a natural state of no-self. You feel whole and empty in your head, you don't feel fake. Your head feels like a clear pond of water or a polished mirror with no specs on it. The Gut makes you unstoppable, the heart makes you immovable, the mind gives you direction. The Gut is raw power, the heart is a solid rock, the mind is clear water. The Gut is fire, the heart is a humble mountain, the mind is a coolant for them both. All of these work in tandem to create a human being PERFECT for survival both for his/her physical body, emotional needs and mental needs. I am serious. This is the default. Nature made us this way. Because we exist to survive on a structural level. Why would humans only be good enough to survive on a physiological level when they have other structures such as their emotions and mind in place? Wouldn't humans be built for the survival of those as well? We have the capability, it's just so fucked over by the blind society. Look, I am not speaking out of my ass here or some book. I have learned this from my own direct experiences. It's a state which is very very powerful. It's a whole experience, not just an imagination or a feeling in your head. This is how one should be naturally! This is where spirituality REALLY begins. Up until this point you are just working to become natural. Spirituality is going beyond survival, what's natural for a human being. It's going beyond human.

here's one of my favorite delusions

I agree with you. Awakening is INTIMATE. It's intrusive. It's not gentle with you when it gets intense. You're being pulled in. The intimacy is crazy. 'Oneness' is the ultimate intimacy yet on shallow levels, oneness doesn't even feel that intimate. When looking at someone, you are becoming them, it's like you are being pulled into them. It's repulsive.

He addressed some of the main points + didn't sound too arrogant so I take that he read alteast some of it and took what he needed. I could reply to each of his points again but I can't be bothered. I already said all I had to say. I'd just be restating my points.

I see. Thanks for the clarification.

1: The "You" is a part your experience that usually remains constant. 2: You cannot confirm whether the rest of this post exists or not, because even if you read the rest of it that is in the axis of time. Experientially there is only the present moment. If we are speaking by pure experience, right here right now, it's obvious that the experience and the experience are the same. Any thoughts and ideas seem to be only on top of this pure direct experience, which also form part of the experience once they appear. 3: What I meant is that you need to include the body, your senses, your ego etc. within what experience is. Right now it would look like a word game to you but if you detach from this sense of 'experiencer', it becomes obvious that what you currently consider as being not part of the experience, is also just pure experience. It's qualia without a witness to witness it. Even the experience of free will is just an experience. 4: Since the experiencer and the experience are one, it's the same as saying there is no witness or experiencer. First you have to detach from your sense of self to realize that the sense of self isn't experiencing anything. It becomes obvious that 'thoughts' and the 'self' are dead, just like a rock laying on the ground. You cannot think then anymore, only observe. What we truly consider alive is this consciousness/awareness that is actually aware. Then once awareness finally becomes aware of itself, it has to make a leap in awareness once again, and realize it is one with the experience. That it's not aware of something, but that the something is the only thing there, and that the awareness was a construct on top of that raw experience.

My name's Swarnim, and am 18. From India. I am very interested in the different AI developments and love to speculate about it. Been into spirituality for 4 years now, but more properly 3. I think discussing with someone who is both into AI and Spirituality will be very fun because that opens up the conversation to stuff like souls, reincarnation, consciousness, karma and all that stuff in relation to AI, which mainstream AI discussions usually avoid(except the consciousness part, but they have done such little consciousness work that you might as well omit that LOL).

If I was correct then remember this, you DO want to live, you DO desire to do MANY things. You DESIRE to EXIST. You WANT TO fucking EXIST to the FULLEST extent that you can. This is at the core of every human being. You don't feel this because that vitality is being sapped away, it's all being used in maintaining all the fragments, all the facades within oneself, it being sapped away by all the patterns and habits. And it's possible to become one again, it's definitely possible to become integrated into one giant mind that you are. Just take baby steps towards it, it will happen.

"Judging" means two things. 1: Analyzing and forming a conclusion 2: Not accepting someone. You don't want to do the second thing, but it's good to do the first. Judging(1) someone to be toxic is quite fine. But judging(2) someone for being toxic is not. You get what I am trying to say? To accept someone you just have to see them as your equal. Then, see yourself in them, and 'allow' yourself as them to exist. For example: Person A is pretty toxic, I hate them. But I should to something about this hate. Let me do this. I am that person. I am toxic. But I don't hate myself for being toxic. I allow myself to be toxic. It's ok to be toxic... Now with this, you won't hate them anymore for who they are. The reason you hate someone is because you'd hate to be them. (Except in the case of jealousy, where you'd love to be them, but hate to be you in relation to them. If you'd love to be them, and also accept who you are in relation to them, that's admiration.)

Hey davecraw, thanks for posting. Let me address each of your points. Right now this section of my post is in your clear experience, but the rest is in your periphery. When you get to the rest of the post, this part here will become the periphery and only a memory, but that whole state would also be part of your experience. "Memory" is also experience. The experiencer knowing stuff that is not in his experience anymore, is also part of the experience. The key insight here is that "past" and "future", as you think of them, are also experience. your senses, cognitive functions, and physical abilities are not beyond experience, but are an integral part of your experience. Try to imagine that there is nothing beyond your experience, your experience right now, is all that exists. This can completely be possible. I am not saying it is, but it could be. So after this thought experiment, do your senses, cognitive functions, physical abilities disappear? No they don't. The key insight here is that using your hand to taste the food, is all part of the experience. The user, the used and the using, all forms part of the experience. Experience is not mere visual field in the present moment. As explained earlier, expand your definition of 'experience'. If I have to explain this action according to "experiencer and experience are the same", then it would go like this. A part of the experience(your sense of self), decided that it will control another part of the experience(closing of the eyes), to effect another part of the experience(the visual field). To understand the sameness between the two, you cannot use logic like you tried to present in your post. I invite you to do "neti-neti" or the "I AM" meditation practices to completely detach from your sense of self. It's a state where you feel, quite literally, that there is no experiencer. This state is where the argument "experience and experiencer are the same" originate from. If you wholeheartedly feel this statement is wrong, then please try to achieve the state mentioned above, it's quite real.

@Razard86 I need you to reply to what I am gonna say here. I need you to read this. Understanding the final answer requires understanding of many, many smaller concepts. Another way to look at is, to get the final answer one needs to first unlock all the locks that prevent you from understanding the final answer. People have different amount of locks, with various degrees of difficulty to open for each lock. To awaken someone, you need to pick these locks, only then the person can understand. This is what Leo does with his entire Youtube channel. You need to be patient and realize this. Leaving the forum because 'people don't want to understand' is stupid. That's like bursting into a 4th grade classroom, trying to explain calculus, and when no one understands (and kids mess around because they don't see the value in calculus), you say they don't want to understand and leave the classroom. The reason I pointed out in my reply earlier that most people won't understand "You are music" is because them objecting to that makes your entire argument fall flat for them. You assume either too highly of the readers, or too wrongly. You should care more about the efficiency of your argument if you really care about awakening others. People misunderstand, judge, not even read your whole post, stuff like that... they come in with made up minds, they are not open, they fuck around. But you have to take responsibility for that. Don't blame it on the reader for not wanting to understand. If you don't care about awakening others because it's too hard then there's no need to develop this skill. But if you want to develop this skill then you have to take responsibility for all of that. Obviously there's truth to what you say, but you are not taking responsibility. I too get annoyed, when I write a massive post and people reply without even reading half of it, missing the point completely, and nitpicking on something ignoring the entire context behind it. But that's just people. That doesn't mean I have nothing to learn from trying to teach these people. You always seem to post here with the energy "I KNOW EVERYTHING, I HAVE NOTHING TO LEARN FROM YOU BUT YOU HAVE EVERYTHING TO LEARN FROM ME. IF YOU OBJECT TO ME YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY WRONG OR MISUNDERSTAND." Look man, I am sure that's not how you actually operate, but you can't get through people with that kind of an energy. You may think you have the energy of cutting through bullshit but you just come off as arrogant, not someone who cuts through bullshit. The "coming off as arrogant" is your responsibility, don't say "well it's because I am showing people their bullshit". You can show people their bullshit without coming off as arrogant. You can seem energetic without coming off as arrogant. You can cut through bullshit effectively without coming off as arrogant. It's possible and you won't reach their if you keep blaming the readers.

@WeCome1 Why does the second quote say I said it lol

I think most people would object to "You are music".

Bro. "Happening" is a relative word. Depends on how you define it.

@Razard86 The problem is that they think psychedelics induce hallucinatory logic and sense-making. Sure, you made them understand the state they call soberness is subjective, so what? Now instead of sober being a state, it becomes a spectrum of more sober and less sober. But to them psychedelics take you off the whole spectrum of sober, into the spectrum of hallucinations and illusions. Is this true? No, but that's not how people who argue against psychedelic awakenings think. To them psychedelics means an entire different spectrum that has nothing to do with truth. Do you think convincing them that sober is subjective will convince them? You assume that they think psychedelic states/logic-making exists on the same spectrum as "sober". You argue how we already hold substances in our body altering our 'sober', so how can one argue against psychedelics? But you never proved how psychedelics alter your states to make you bullshit LESS than 'sober'. Look, I agree with what you said, I am just saying what you said is not gonna convince most people who argue against psychedelic awakenings. You have to convince in other ways, like how you just did with "you could argue with the right dosage that psychedelics could IMPROVE functionality.". That's how you start to convince them.