ted73104

I think everyone has been in the state where you totally think you suck, and that you just cannot accept the condition you're in. However you have to gradually realize how narrow of a mindset you're using to observe or measure yourself. There's too many conditions you've placed for yourself for you to be happy. Interesting thing is that the people who you think that have the things that you want aren't actually that attached to those things. They're not satisfied because they have those external things, and they aren't necessarily as happy as you imagine they are either. Most people are just okay with the circumstances they're in, and everyone has their own problems. To put it bluntly, even if you got those things, you may not be satisfied for long. Eventually when you normalize everything you have, you'll want to fill the emptiness within you with other stuff. And when you cannot do this, you will continue to project your inner issues outward towards the world and think the world is a "cruel and terrible place". Nothing will ever be as satisfying than being able to accept yourself for exactly who you are right now.

I have the exact same problem. The issue stems from the emotions we had growing up. We are used to those feelings being behind in life, unsatisfied due to various external reasons, not meeting average expectations, etc. If you lived many years during your youth with these emotions, then your body will be used to feeling this way. You can change the ideas and beliefs you have in the your mind very quickly, but the emotions still persists. I feel that it probably will take decades until I can get my emotions totally aligned with what my mind believes now. I also wonder if you're like me, where I would always dream very big when I was young. I somehow always wanted the very best in my student years, always thinking about what I needed to do to obtain this or that. These were mostly negative motivations, because I was left behind in most of my student years, disconnected from the "alpha" group. And I have this stubborness to be as good as those classmates were, refusing to admit defeat. Not sure if you also have this sort of feeling. It's very strange, because I've been learning about personal development and enlightenment for 6 years now and have changed most of my previous beliefs. And I still feel this way.

Although I haven't been in your position before, I have been stuck in life before. I used to be have sort of "holy" Christian personality, and when I realized the self image I was building was mostly smoke and mirrors, there was a time I was pretty depressed. I think sometimes that there isn't really anything you can do about the situation that you're in. Sometimes, only time can heal deep wounds. The only thing you can do now is to try and accept the harsh reality that you're in. Just live as a person with suicidal thoughts. When I left my church, although I wasn't really a bad person, but I thought I was an evil person (according to the church's standards). And there was a time I was very wild, I became a work-a-holic and chased money. I also went to night bars, spent a lot of money on drinks, buying drinks for girls, and fucking girls who were ten years younger than I was. I went on a lot of work trips as my company manufactured products for AT&T and Verizon. Took my colleagues who were with me in LA, San Franscisco, Dallas, or Chicago on vacation every weekend with the company paying most of our travel expenses (car rental, gas fees). I think the only thing you can do is just find a way to be your current self. Try to love and express your dark side. After you've understood and realized that you were supposed to be the way you are now all along, you will be able to accept yourself for who you really are and not think that you suck or have a negative personality. Then will you be able to move forward and grow your personality with lesser resistance. With self actualization work and help from many people, I was able to get out of the situation I got myself into. I also realized that the original views I had on having a "great life" were not as realistic as I thought. Many of my thoughts about how to be successful or happy or satisfied just didn't work in the long run. Once you gradually realize these kind of stuff, you will see that everyone is not so different. There is no reason to compare yourself with others, because we're all on the same boat.

Leo started his channel with lots of videos related to psychology. Have you tried watching those videos? Hope one of them may help you.

Is it possible that you strongly believe motivation and achievement are important factors on what a person is worth in life? When you say you feel trapped when you lack motivation, is there a sense of urge that you should have motivation to do something? Perhaps there is something you desire and you are pushing yourself too hard to obtain that specific thing. We all have a ideal self image on what kind of person we should be, however we may not have enough understanding on how to actualize that kind of self image. Many things are harder that we imagine, even if we wanted to change a simple habit would require lots of hard work. So you need to be easy on yourself on such things. Pressuring yourself is not going to achieve anything, although it does tell you how much you want that specific thing. What you want exactly may not be easy to figure out. You may have to go step by step, doing surface level things to satisfy yourself on the short run, but then contemplating on what you really want in life to prepare for the long run.

Do you know what has caused you to lose your motivation? Also, do you have close friends you could talk about this to?

I don't think Leo would talk about how conscious he himself is specifically, as that is .... not really important? The important thing is how conscious you could become and you would like to become . I would imagine Leo spans from levels orange, green, grey, and a bit of the next level (what was the color above grey? turqoise?), depending on what area. In intellectual, mindset wise, work ethic, and emotional areas, I think he is really on a high level. However socially and psychologically, I am not sure if he continues to work in these areas, but I feel theses are not his strong points, although he knows a lot about these fields. But it doesn't matter! Although Leo is the administrator here and he started this site, I don't think he considers himself the leader here. You are not here to follow him or believe in the things he says. You are here just to gain some information to ..... know more about yourself I would say. Leo is not the point, you are.

@Waken I totally relate to what you said. Facing your fears doesn't mean that you can always find some way to embrace them. Many people have told me to just don't think about the deep problems I have and rather to focus on the lifestyle that I want. This is basically the law of attraction, and from my experience, it does work to a certain degree. However I was too stubborn to just let go of trying to resolve my inner issues. So I spent a long time, 5~6 years, struggling with my shame and fears, struggling with my identity. Eventually I was able to feel into my deep emotions and be conscious of what was causing the pain. In this process, I found out that you actually need to gain a more powerful love than the "self" love. Because there is a lot of stuff in life like courage, compassion, various social skills that basically can only be trained when you're with a group or someone else. And it is the non-stop practice of fully accepting the concept of "other" where you can strengthen your capability to Love. When you strengthen your Love towards "other" events, things, or people, you also will gradually gain more awareness. This awareness will allow you to connect dots more easily and help you be more conscious about your issues than you did before. Sitting alone at home and just comtemplating about these stuff was important, but not enough. I was very fortunate to be able to identify and embrace my fears through a process that occurred to me mostly. Most of the stuff that happened and people I met which/who eventually helped me were not planned. However I know that stepping out of your comfort zone and obtaining more love for everything around you is the way to embracing your fears. This might be a very long struggle as it was for me, but I hope everyone who takes this journey is able to find peace in the end.

I think that a person's job doesn't really have to be something that person is passionate about. In reality, it should be about the amount of value you produce. Passion and profession don't always colide together. Most people aren't passionate about making a business out of the thing they love, because when you bring the topic of money and business strategy into your passion, things can turn sour sometimes. Survival is still very important in life, the farmer must always exist in order for everyone to be fed. But who wants to be the farmer? My dad used to work in a farm growing rice with my grandpa in the hot summer when he was young. And there was no air conditioning back then. My grandpa said to him, if you don't want to live this way, then you better find a way to get into college. My dad eventually went to the US and got a computer science degree. Of course we now live in better conditions and have a lot more room to choose what we want to do professionally, but that still doesn't really mean we can do whatever we want. I would say you need to first get a job and be a wage slave of course to get a certain lifestyle that you can accept. All jobs are boring in the end, so it doesn't really matter if you are passionate about your job. Then if you are able to raise your consciousness to a state where you want to create something that works for society and maybe become an entrepreneur, then you can go create a business first as a side hustle. Then when your business starts generating stable income that is enough for you to quit your job, switch full time over. To be passionate about a business requires more consciousness. Until you gain that level of consciousness and are okay with the lifestyle which is required to create that business, maybe you could just do some more personal development and just continue living the "good" life. The life of being employee is not bad anyways~

There are some very good responses above, but I'd like to add that there is a possibility of your issue being a mental mechanic issue. What I mean is that this is an issue that occurs in where the mechanics of your emotions or mindset functions, and it can still occur even if you fully love yourself. For example, even when you fully understand yourself and accept yourself, you might still not be popular among your peers, you still might behave awkward in some certain social situations. And if your mind is aware of how awkward you are in those cases in this example, you might react in some way or try to evade those situations. You don't want those situations to occur. Connecting the dots is the key here, sometimes you know all the points, but it is actually very hard to connect the dots and realize the totality of your inner psychological situation. However it also might be the case that you've connected all the dots, and you're still experiencing these anxieties. In this case, you should know that human thoughts can change quickly. You can learn and understand an idea very quickly, but the emotions that you have about these ideas change very very slowly. So there is a training process where you have to train and learn how to express a new emotion to the thing you fear. The process is slow at first, but the change gradually gains pace. I think to fully love yourself, you eventually have to fully love your surroundings and everyone in it. Only when you've found love for the world can you gain a love so strong to defeat your inner negative emotions. This is not easy, but I hope there will be people around you who you can talk about this with.

I feel you. What you are experiencing is a very deep emotion that cannot be altered by any logic reasoning. People like us felt this kind of depressing emotion for a huge chunk of our childhoods, and so this emotion has been deeply embedded within ourselves. Basically there is no fast remedy. I don't think there is a quick way to get rid of this emotion. Rather, I think we should find some time each week to be alone and feel into this emotion very deeply. Sort of just let yourself feel sad and deep into the emotion. Following some of the logical suggestions here, like you are not defined by your mom, doesn't fully resolve the situation, although it does help. I personally think the only way is to be able to formulate a very strong love towards something to combat the negativity. And don't try to pursue divine love directly, that is just not possible. Find love towards something like a hobby, a group of friends like yourself, or a boyfriend. Something that can distract yourself from your current unhappy emotions. Then try to build upon those new emotions and improve your love towards for example one of your close friends. Make your relationships or your work more meaningful. Only by obtaining a much stronger love can you defeat the old hatred.

Farewell, may you find a more suitable sanctuary for yourself. Best wishes to you!

There is no good or bad, only the mind makes it so. TV shows are not bad, there isn't a should statement where you need to do more. And so you can enjoy the shows as much as you want. What is interesting to know is why you have guilt when you start watching TV shows. To what image or lifestyle are you comparing yours to? Although there doesn't exist a perfect standard or the correct way/attitude to pursue life, you yourself have internally created a standard or a set of core values. These core values should be fun to identify, and you only need to find effective ways to actualize them one by one. However, I think these core values shouldn't be pursued using negative motivation, because that kind of motivation doesn't last very long. So you should try to accept your current habits/lifestyle and then try out some changes that will bring you closer to what you really want internally.

Hsin-Chu, Taiwan

I think the direct answer to this question is that you as a human will die and cease to exist. That part of you is finite for sure. What we don't know is whether if our consciousness will awaken after it "leaves" our body. We don't know if there is this other part of us which is not a part of our physical form.

Hey, everyone belongs here. No one is a fraud in the realm of God. I think for most people, there is always an external reason that drives people to pursue self-actualization. For example, it's because you want something that you can never get in your current state, or you are in some ditch that you desperately want to get out of. For me, I was always obsessed with this sort of "be a good Christian" notion, because I wanted the type of lifestyle that some of the more "successful" Christians had in my previous church. I wanted to be successful in my career, relationships, and a beautiful loving girlfriend. However my standards were way too high relative to where I was. The harder I pursued, there seemed to be a negative backfire within my mentality, because I was pushing myself too hard using strategies that did not work. I was eventually depressed and judgemental about myself. Then by chance, I was introduced to post modern philosophy from a Christian friend at the church interestingly. I hated the stuff initially, but eventually I was fascinated by how some of the ideas really opened my mind up. I eventually started to question everything the Church taught. Then I got into therapy, as I began to suffer more from the backlash I got from my church. I saw a few therapists along the way, and one of them told me that there was no standard cure for my problems. The only way I could get out from being depressed most of the time was to find my own way, and that everyone else could only hint at how I could formulate my own method. I started searching for ideas online. Initially I found guys like awaken with JP, Tony Robbins, which were great but didn't really work for me. But then I found Leo and Teal Swan, and things started to change...

Hi Everyone, Ted here from Taiwan.

I actually have other questions: 1. How do we differ our ego conscious from our God conscious? Is our God conscious even active right now? 2. Also, if our ego conscious depends on our brain, wouldn't our ego just die after our brain ceases to function? How would we "transfer" into our God conscious then like Leo describes in his videos?

Yes, you really need to see a therapist and get your inner issues resolved. Totally agree with @Bojan V on that. This is a lot of work, you will even need to find the suitable therapist for yourself first. But I hope you go see a therapist soon, because the longer you leave these internal issues hanging, the harder it will be to resolve them later on. Life to us is very personal, and I think it should be. The problem though is that sometimes we take it way too personally. The world and everyone else is basically totally fine with what kind of person you are. I mean, really! It is only you who cannot accept how the world and other people react to you. You have a very strong desire for something. The desire is so strong, that when the world is not able to give you what you really want, you suffer inside. And yeah, life is brutal in this way. You have to strategically engineer and create the life you want. All that takes a huge amount of effort, but is absolutely doable no matter what position you're in. People look down upon themselves too easily. They prop up others very easily too, when the truth is that everyone is very very ordinary. If you search really hard for the objective truth, there is nothing special about anyone. No one is better than you, everyone would be exactly the same as you are if they were in your shoes. Life is ultimately......... a game. It is just a fucking game. And if you didn't know, it is your game. We are all just the characters that you've projected outwards. On this stage, you've branded yourself the coward. But since this is just a game, doesn't really matter what kind of character you're playing. I mean, if you think you're a coward, then that's great. Just be the coward. Try to accept yourself for just what you are. There is a lot fun being the coward. Embrace the coward! How do you become the hero if you don't know what the coward is like? How do you become the hero when you can't even love and accept the coward? After you've learned to accept from a wider perspective, go whichever way you wish. What you really want in the end, is not anything external. It is not this shiny heroic image that you imagine you should be. It is just love. A deep love and connection with everyone including yourself. True love. I hope you have the courage to find it.

It really depends on who, because there are all kinds of people in the church. The stage you're on actually depends more on the people who actually brought you up, like your parents and family, or maybe your teachers at school. Your pastor or the people who you attend service together may have some influence, but not too much. So there are people on all stages, but of course most people are on stage blue or even red in my experience.

Hitler was a German hero in his time. People who hate Hitler just aren't able to the get into the context of that time from Germany's point of view.

If you embrace the "darkness", you would be free. You wouldn't be doomed as you think in the long run. After that, change would become more likely if you pursue small goals at a time. What you don't know is that although it takes time to evolve, you are not actually that far off from where you want to be. Another thing is that if you maintain the same survival mentality that you have now, you will still be depressed even if you got the partner or the type of lifestyle that you wanted. Rebirth, that is the way!

I am quite curious on why you think you are not worthy and what type of partner you would like to have.

Do you think your low self esteem has to do with your performance in the classroom, meaning studying and passing exams? Maybe if you could add a perspective to how you observe and measure yourself, you would understand and feel better about yourself?

It would seem like you are not happy with the current situation that you're in. However in your mind, you think that it is way too hard to change the circumstances in your current state. So there are two forces at play here, one is you have a strong urge to change and transform yourself based on I would guess a very negative motivation. The other is a strong resistance of pain, because you've already worked so hard to get this far. Maybe you realized you went in the wrong direction at some place in your life and now you're so tired you want to rest, you just don't have any energy left to work on the transformation you want at the moment. These two forces create a big conflict and it is very normal to have conflicting emotions as well. On the surface, you desperately wish you could change something about your life, but in the inside you actually want to avoid the pain of "loss" or behaving in a way you deem "unworthy". This is probably why you are avoiding positive emotions, because once you express your positive emotions, there would be more room for you to feel more negative emotions, the emotions you want to escape right now. Your deep consciousness seems to know that there is a huge amount of work you need to do in order to get where you want to be. However you want to avoid thinking about that, because the Truth is sometimes unbearable. You need to know the greatest transformations in life always starts with realizing how "low" or "bad" your current state is. Sometimes external accidents even, to force people to realize the Truth. If you are able to find peace with yourself right now, you will embark on a new journey towards a higher level in your life. What you need to do now is to very slowly identify where the huge pain is in your emotions. Clarify the points that are causing these painful emotions and gradually feel in the pain very consciously. Normal people would just keep on evading the pain by distracting themselves non-stop. This would only bury the pain deeper and deeper until they've lost touch with the source of their problems. Then I would suggest talking with a very close friend, someone you could say anything to and is willing to listen. Express the kind of negative emotions your are experiencing right now, and what are causing them. Do this until you get very conscious about what you don't accept about yourself. What you need right now is rest, the conscious type of rest. You need to stop trying to change and just simply be and observe yourself. Feel in the pain and let the source of the pain be your future motivation to achieve greatness.