mandyjw

Well, in our exploration "psychological death" is sort of the objective, not the avoided possible outcome of the exploration. Or rather, it's the thing we already suspect but wish to verify. Like Rupert Spira's analogy of the asshole tyrant who lives upstairs that you're a servant to. You've never seen him and you spend years serving a master who doesn't even exist, but you're too terrified of him and too busy doing his bidding to question his demands or to go up there and even confirm his very existence. The exploration, the going up the stairs to confront the asshole seems terrifying, but there's absolutely no risk whatsoever, because he doesn't exist. Connection is a reflection of non-separation. However (again, stealing Rupert's analogies ), the screen has no relationship or connection with the character, as well as being intimately one with it and allowing it to be. Your TV screen doesn't fall in love with the character Noah from The Notebook and keep Ryan Gosling's face on display in the corner for the next month or two while you're trying to watch the weather report. Although, a TV like that might be kinda fun...

I never liked that though, "do the best you can". After a cross country race I'd ask myself, "did I do the best I could?" and no I didn't ever do the best I could, even if I puked my guts up after the race. I could always convince myself that I could have run harder, I could have run so hard I couldn't even walk back on the bus to go home or compete in next weeks race. I don't regret from those days of competitive running not doing the best I could. If I regret anything it's not enjoying the whole experience more than I allowed myself to. Consciousness is not a judgment looking back at itself. A thing looking back at itself in judgement will always find itself falling short because it has to split the already wholeness of itself in order to do just that. In its intuitive remembering that it is actually Whole, it finds itself lacking. It's a hilarious strange loop. The problem is itself the solution. It's the "difference" between self consciousness and Self consciousness.

Another angle you could take is that you could also learn to speak from the heart and only truly listen to yourself when you are and those who do the same. Sometimes it's easier if we don't actively try to avoid something but instead get very intentional about how we use it. Go with the path of least resistance. Sometimes the path of least resistance is going cold turkey or exploring what happens when we do, other times it's realizing that what you thought was an addiction or a personal flaw was an unnecessarily imposed self-judgement.

How could you recognize incredible, brilliant or beautiful if you didn't have it in you to see it?

If you believe you're a human body, and that states are dependent on that body, THAT belief is your governor, not the body.

Love Bashar, great compilation. No one state is desirable 100% of the time. I think sometimes we overlook this, that we don't actually want one state, but we want the fluidity of them. State means your standing, and comes from the word root or idea, stand. Like the word exist, meaning "stand out". Like the Queen song, "Who Wants to Live Forever" What is the background of which it's possible to experience states or the background of which it's possible for things to exist or stand out. If you go direct to that, all states are accessible or no longer states anymore. I think sometimes some beliefs of ladders and striving get carried over from the personal development realm to color over the wonder that what we're now wanting to explore is pure Accessibility, Itself.

It helps to realize that they don't really HAVE true colors, the same way that WE aren't always our best selves. Sometimes when we see people in the best possible light, it feels amazing, but if there's any sort of insecurity of needing them to keep being that way, we get sort of stuck in that. We believe that our positive image of them defines them, until something happens that shows us that what they are is much more fluid than we thought. Any thought and judgement about people is always a snap shot in time. A snap shot often seems like a good representation, but it's never the person. The reality is fluid, always changing. This can make us feel insecure and so we double down on trying to get a snap shot, surrounding us with people we believe that we can trust, and that only makes us feel even more vulnerable and insecure. As you get more unconditional you start to get in touch with your own power. It's like mother nature, sure, she is gentle, nurturing, and it's easy to see that on a nice sunny day. But you don't expect her to be that all the time. When you are more unconditional you can appreciate the sound of the pouring rain and the thunder, instead of being caught in it unaware, surprised and feeling betrayed because you know that's just one of her many forms. Then if you're there after it clears, appreciating Her at the right place and the right time, you might see her true colors, the whole spectrum of them in a rainbow.

You are the Master Baiter.

Ok, so it was deeply ingrained in my head that I needed a man for salvation/enlightenment to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Little girl steals the Sesame street people from her sister several times and gets told she needs Jesus or she's going to hell. Then I found Leo, let go of Jesus, found Eckhart Tolle, realized what Jesus was actually, gravitated towards a couple men on the forum, had an awakening, and looked around with eyes of wonder and beginners eyes like a baby bird, and what did I see? Men. Every Tom, Dick and Harry, minus the Dick and Harry, Tom x2, one alive, one dead, cause Thomas means twin, so obviously your need two of them. Such a spiritual whore you are, Mary Magdalene. "I will make her male." JESUS! Universe, why you set me up like this? If you believe you're a woman, you'll believe you need a man. I just didn't realize that this was still happening! Yeah... it's not. I swear to God, I'd forgive you for this if it made a good story, but it doesn't, I mean it's just sad and confusing. You're the story teller. Tell a different story. This song keeps going through my head. Alright so what? This isn't exclusive to me or to women. We mix up need with love. We think being told we're needed is sweet sometimes and gag worthy other times. We try to avoid being needy. No one needs each other, everyone needs each other. We're back to the previous subject of boobs, and cookie monster, and my love of nature. Love the thing, don't miss it when it's gone. Cause it's not gone. Woah. I just remembered the name of a kid I was friends with in grade school and he was an athirst but his name meant Christ Needy. I just spelled atheist as athirst. Oh God. I've just been creating this, creating the need and creating the solution. I can stop doing that. What do I want to create?

Inner Being/God/Mother, I have a bone to pick with you. All these Princes you've sent to rescue me from my tower have been a disappointment. I sent you a ton of strong women today though. Yes, you did. It was quite something actually. You created that. I did. Am I lesbian or something? No, but I am. Oh, right. Ooooo...! thunder. I've really had a very fun day. Some old thinking patterns, yes. Some problems I want to solve, yes. But just like I realized last night with the nature thing, a love is a love, not a problem, and yes I do want to realize that. I can't believe how blessed I am. I can't believe how much I have and how much I can never lose. Funny how when we get what we really want we say "I can't believe it!" I can't believe it. A love is a love. "I had some big belief busting experiences within a short time frame, the problem with describing them is that it almost always seems like it comes out as sort of like a bad and misleading representation. My dad describes a similar experience when his father passed away, I presume that there's window that opens during that time that is truly stunning if you're the slightest bit open to it. Makes me think of the curtain being torn after Jesus passes away in the Bible. The curtain being torn symbolized that ALL had free, clear access to God, and I think it just hit me why that was so significant. Great topic, thank you. " Wow. For some reason I started to write a poem today and wrote down words I was inspired by. Veil was one. It was the one I gave the most thought. And the song I loved so much by George Ezra, I listened to it again a few times today has the lines, When I dance alone, and the Suns's bleeding down Blame it on me When I lose control and the veil's overused Blame it on me What you're waiting for? What you're waiting for? WOW. Synchronicity with Jesus's death. Talk about being sold a Prince come to save you story. And really he just came to tell everyone that they didn't need saving. Oooo... the thunder! I love the thunder. I suppose a lightning bolt makes the sky look like it's torn in two. Ok Inner Being/God/Mother. I take it back. I'm not disappointed at all, just forgot mine own power/love for a moment. Didn't forget, you just thought you were somebody who needed rescuing. rescue (v.) c. 1300, from stem of Old French rescorre "protect, keep safe; free, deliver" (Modern French recourre), from re-, intensive prefix (see re-), + escourre "to cast off, discharge," from Latin excutere "to shake off, drive away," from ex "out" (see ex-) + -cutere, combining form of quatere "to shake" (see quash). Related: Rescued; rescuing. Alright, before i get the impulse to sing Taylor Swift songs... too late It's time for bed.

@BipolarGrowth Thanks! I had some big belief busting experiences within a short time frame, the problem with describing them is that it almost always seems like it comes out as sort of like a bad and misleading representation. My dad describes a similar experience when his father passed away, I presume that there's window that opens during that time that is truly stunning if you're the slightest bit open to it. Makes me think of the curtain being torn after Jesus passes away in the Bible. The curtain being torn symbolized that ALL had free, clear access to God, and I think it just hit me why that was so significant. Great topic, thank you.

If I had a short time to live, I would be SO excited about planning my funeral and picking out my casket and what I wanted planted on my grave. I know just the spot. Ohh... and the poems I'd want read and the music. Best f-ing funeral you ever attended. I'd also write a book about enlightenment and living your truth for my kids. And spend time with them obviously. Trip to Hawaii. Would leave some cool hidden shit all over the place for people to find mysteriously for a long time after.

Funny that the "deeper" you go down the rabbit hole, the simpler and simpler things get. Amazing how much you can explain with a rubber band.

Sometimes I buy name brand clothes and sometimes I buy clothes from Walmart. Sometimes you want one thing in the highest quality you can get, and other times you just want four of something. Also very often, the younger the woman the less jazzed she'll be about the Walmart scenario. But all women are unique. Just let her like what she likes. For God's sake it's her closet, not yours or Leo's.

There's such a crazy surprising element of ass backwardsness to spiritual "progression". It'll make you laugh/cry. I guess it's just the unwinding in a belief of progression and progressing. time. It's already it, right here, always was. The winding up movement created the tension and the sense of movement, but it's just spinning, the movement not there. I think that's why trying to grasp one's progression drives people crazy. If there is true movement, how could you grasp it AND continue to allow it move at the same time?

? You could say that it's just realizing what's already the case, that emotions and minds already have no separate borders. There's a component of love and connection with someone that can be an opening to it. I was doing the practice of tonglen for a while and innocently did it the night my Grandmother passed away and that's when the giving/receiving duality really collapsed.

Until you wish to perceive it differently. Outwardly, until enough women refuse to move to the back of the bus and enough police officers arresting them for their refusal to move to back of the bus realize that they feel like total horse's asses and refuse to act out orders based on an unfair, flawed assumption.

Well, isn't the main objective to see those biases and prejudices? If we use the forum as a mirror and we have honest, open conversations together about tough, triggering subjects we can smooth out all those biases, limiting beliefs and prejudices that get in the way of relationships or our own successful endeavors. But if the objective is to sort of shore up a belief of "how things are" no one is going to agree or get anywhere because there is no actual "how things are" just your perception of things.

@Raptorsin7 Ok, if you're honestly so concerned only about this group of incredibly successful women who have such high standards that they are just so so alone, like very rich lost little puppies, maybe we can all go rescue them. But I kinda got the idea that there was a whole nother discussion going on beyond just that.

Sure, I've seen it happen successfully, a female artist I follow got a huge break and now employs her husband as a musician and what they create together is absolutely amazing. But the premise of this whole thread is that women's success is unattractive.

I would want a competent man if I have a role for him in my endeavors. Otherwise, I just want some numb idiot with a nice face and a huge dick.

That's fine. But if you think that her income and success works AGAINST her, I think that's coming straight from an insecurity that would feel a lot better to examine and drop rather than perpetuate.

No. Especially if he doesn't. I think there are people who have their priorities and true desires all mixed up and there people who are clear about what they want and monetary success has nothing to do with it. We could each easily find examples to prove our cases. Unworthiness. The belief that I must PROVE and show my worth in some outward manner to FEEL worthy of someone's love, or to feel worthy on my own at all. I don't think you realize how many women struggle with feeling unworthy and insecure of being supported by their partner, even when they are raising children and taking care of everything else. It's all because of this societal narrative that success=money. It just doesn't vary that much from gender to gender anymore. We've lived in a society where men are thought of as providers and women are thought of as the nurturing ones. It's not the 1950's anymore. There are all these old feelings and beliefs lingering around messing everyone up though. They are contagious if you have a low immune system. *cough* *cough* a feeling of unworthiness. Having a rich partner could be JUST as attractive to a man as it is to some women, or it could also trigger insecurities. Or it could not matter at all, and just be a fact. It's all just the narrative you buy into.