mandyjw

I grew up in such a sheltered environment with such sheltering people around me that I took the belief on myself that if something bad happened it was my fault for venturing out. So I never went to a club, never drank alcohol outside my house and didn't even go to college.

Why yes, it's the wall I made for myself and named Someone here.

@Someone here It's ok, let it out.

@Someone here ? What's the difference between guidance and resistance? If I'm guided to not go in a certain direction, but I continually push up against the barrier trying to smash it down, I create the resistance, whereas if I use that guidance simply to inform where I DO want to go, and what I DO want to focus on, resistance becomes guidance. If we believe that the resistance is to something external we may rebel against it and want to free ourselves from it. This is the fighting against the barrier, which actually is the creation of the barrier because it is not actually imposed on us, or external. But if we realize that the guidance is only essentially guiding us to what we DO want, we quickly go in that direction and no longer fight against it. In this case I mistake the barrier for the thing I want, I want to be free of the barrier, when it reality, the barrier is guidance born out of the freedom I already am. When I learn to take my focus off what I do NOT want and realize that there is no exclusion and no imposition, I turn my focus to what I DO want and in the realization that the focus itself is my freedom, I become what is desired, I realize that I already am what I desire.

Not wanting to suffer. If you resist suffering you create it, as suffering is resistance. Resistance to and unto itself. Suffering is not different from physical pain, you have pain when something is off, when something isn't right, suffering in the same way is guidance. It lets us know when we are thinking and acting on behalf of a separate self.

All of life is a spiritual journey, there's just a point where you start being conscious of it and able to identify your desires and the nature of existence as spiritual. I find that more women tend to be more closed-minded to non-duality and understanding of the mind, wisdom aspect and more men seem closed-hearted to the feeling and healing oriented practices and teachings. Ultimately there is no real separation or conflict, just like there are no real men and women. An open mind is an open heart and an open heart brings about real understanding.

Enlightenment is the realization that there already is no you to decide, and no conflict. Meditation, letting go of resistance, tapping into joy and inspiration, being in the present moment makes choice effortless, or not a choice at all. There is no conflict between anything you want to do and the pure desire to do it. If there is a conflict, a doubt, a sense of "I have to make the right choice" then something is being looked for in the future, which is already here. That which is already here is glossed over and is the very guidance you seek. It is the fulfillment in the career and the fulfillment in the spiritual quest, here now, it is what is openly aware of this screen and the words on it. A trick from personal experience, if you practice just saying "YES!" to everything, it sort of hijacks the weighty tendency to try to make the RIGHT choice, and your real feelings about anything in any given moment will come to the surface more clearly.

@CorpusThe ego is a false sense of separation, from which arises the need to protect itself. In reality this kind of protection that separation seeks for itself is ONLY the maintenance of its separation. This is why security is never found, it is actually fighting for its own finitude. Because the root of its fear and insecurity and need to survive IS this very separation which already is false, it can only act in self destructive ways. Sometimes, from any given perspective this looks like destruction of other, destruction of collective or destruction of what is taken to be itself, (harm of the body, self hatred, etc). The insecure self is fascinated by other selves acting out this way, trying to secure themselves by actions that tear others down, putting themselves first, disregarding others and the whole. Looking upon such a thing causes this insecurity to activate as the self thinks it must act in this manner ALSO to secure itself. And so this potentially becomes a kind of viral infection. The real guidance is not ego but is feeling, or the suffering that arises which if we take note of is only perpetuated by our feelings of insecurity or by the actions we take to try to remedy what already is not a problem. We are trying to avoid suffering by perpetuating suffering. It's as if this whole survival deal is a boogeyman. We have developed what we think is a very sophisticated system to keep ourselves safe from the boogeyman. We sleep with the lights on, we dig a moat around our house, we wear garlic around our neck and spin it around three times while chanting some magic word. We live in fear 24/7 without ever bothering to investigate the actual existence of the boogeyman. We ARE the boogeyman. You breathe without thinking, you digest without thinking, your heart beats without thinking.

I don't believe it does. When people panic, they do the dumbest, most dangerous things and can't think of a solution at all. And yet when they are relaxed, ideas come to them and they naturally and effortlessly avoid dangerous situations in the first place.

@outlandish ?

Nirupana 42 Sunday, July 9, 1978 Do not compete with anyone in the world. Put such things aside. Your devotion to the Guru-word must be infallible. Such devotion is not dualistic. In such devotion, there is no fear and there is no begging. You will never attain peace in association with worldly matters. Once Self-realization is achieved, it is never lost. Let go of your body-consciousness: the feeling ‘I am a man’ or ‘I am a woman’. That which has no color, no design, has no expectations. If you fully understand your weak points, they will become your strong points. Until the age of forty go on learning something. That way one gets some encouragement, some zeal to live by. Eventually you will be proud to say, ‘I know nothing’. To mention the word nirguna (unmanifest) requires relativity. Nirguna can be recognized only if there is guna. What happens when there is no guna? Guna means the knowingness that has come in unasked as the feeling ‘I am’. It is consciousness that is listening. When there is no feeling of ‘I am’, it is called nirguna. When a person becomes one with his consciousness and forgets himself, he gets Self-realization. The same consciousness is in the form of the five elements. It is in the form of our beingness. The knower of consciousness is without any characteristics (gunas). When consciousness becomes illumined, you feel ‘you are’. However, it is identified with the body. The only way to remove body-consciousness is to hold onto the Guru-word. One who has imbibed my words will not have any complaints. To imbibe my words, one has to meditate on the consciousness in solitude. When consciousness is purified, it recedes to the unmanifest state and there is everlasting peace. You have been enchanted with consciousness and you have identified with your body. It is very difficult to break this habit. After listening to this, you may live your life as you please. There is no need for rituals. There is no separation between us. I see you as formless, whereas you take yourself as a body. Out of the nirguna, many characteristics (manifest forms) are created. This must be understood while the consciousness (Sattva guna) in the body is still there. Otherwise, it will take birth time and again. Worship it with love-devotion. It will be purified. It will clearly understand the functioning of the three gunas. You will come to see that you are a non-doer and there will be eternal peace. The manifestation of your consciousness is called birth. It is also called the subtle body. Despite intense effort, the habit of body-consciousness does not break. It is possible for the one who holds onto the Guru-word without fail. By reciting the mantra, ‘I am pure Brahman’, you will become limitless. There must be unshakable faith in the Guru. His words will become one with your breath. It will become the joy of your feeling ‘I am’. It will correct the subtle body. One who has no body, has neither remembrance nor forgetting. Hold within: ‘The Guru-word is my true nature’, with every breath. The fact that our nature is nirguna has never been forgotten, therefore it does not have to be remembered. The devotee of the Guru-word is the devotee of his own true nature. The Self exists and It is changeless. Do not attempt to change It with your intellect. With devotion of the Guru in your heart, you will never have any sense of duality. The supreme state as described by the Guru is naturally there. No remedy is required. For bringing worthiness into your consciousness, your faith in the Guru must be absolute. It is the treasure house of the life force. Brahman is the Lord of words and It contains the universe. A great miracle is hidden in the seed. What a big tree comes out of it! The guna was latent in the nirguna. Whatever was hidden in the golden womb came out and with that the world became visible. You will never get Self-knowledge if you impose your body-consciousness on the Guru. When you live with the faith that your consciousness and the Guru are the same, you will get Self-realization. Such a vast world is contained in the microscopic consciousness! Such conviction comes with the Guru-word. Reading countless books is of no use. It will bring pride and with that the desire to undermine others. All troubles will be over if you yourself become the Guru-word. Do not ever forget the Guru-word: ‘Brahman is eternal’. Consciousness will expand and in the end it will become extinguished. ‘I am beyond the body’ will become manifest without words. It would not have to be looked after. It is easy, straight and natural. The habit of body-consciousness is the only hindrance. In order to be convinced that you were never born, it should be known what is born and from what it is born. Just as there is a tree in a seed, the (universal) consciousness is latent within you. The Guru brings it out and it becomes all-pervading. Has anyone seen the end of space? Why is it so? It is because space is formed with the expanse of your own light. Make spiritual effort out of real and sincere necessity. His Majesty, the Guru, kills your individuality. The tree along with its fruits, flowers and branches enters the seed again. The Guru has said that you are present everywhere. You must believe this in its totality. Self-realization is liberation. Then there is no need to go to heaven. You are what the Guru has described. Do not bother with anything else. Spiritual truth has no concern with the body. It does not matter whether you are a man or a woman. Remember this.- MEDITATIONS with Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

I dunno, maybe I'm wrong.

While I want to first say that I appreciate your well thought out post, I have to express how strongly opposed to this "take away" from this incident I feel. Disallowing people to connect on a deeper, more honest and private manner like through PM yet at the same time encouraging them to let go of everything they know, is going in the exact opposite direction in preventing incidents like this. Nahm was such an incredible resource and an asset to this forum. He provided me and countless others with insight and guidance when we needed it most. He did the same for Soonhei, and for whatever reason everyone was so concerned about what happened and who would get blamed for it that he got thrown under the bus. Of COURSE he was the last person he messaged, he was the only one HERE who he knew that would really listen. Yet it's painted in the exact opposite light, and we've lost one of the most insightful dedicated members here. Now it's like everyone doesn't care and is wanting to write "Don't Eat ;)" on the tide pods/psychedelic/nondual pointers and wash their hands of any responsibility. Is it weird that anyone can edit PMs at any time without them being marked as edited. Yep. Should that have been discussed? Yep.

We're all a holes.

The presence of what is or what *should be* a neutral sensation causing a lot of resistance or suffering is an interesting phenomenon. The sensation in the throat, chest or the stomach which we call anxiety or fear is actually just a neutral sensation. The same sort of thing occurs with fingers on a chalkboard, water dripping or someone chewing. "Neutral sensation" is a total write off and avoidance. But if we're willing to be open and see what is really there, we will find that it is not what we think it is.

It's caused by self-shaming thoughts. They create a vicious cycle, you feel unloved because you shame yourself in your own thoughts, so you want someone else to bolster your confidence and focus on you but you know this desire is a needy one so you shame yourself. Meditate in the morning, and whenever the need arises, pay attention to the thoughts you think about yourself that don't feel good, all day everyday. Make time for the things you love to do.

We live in a culture that shallowly defines ourselves and others by their minds (or our judgement of what we think are their minds). Awakening is going beyond the mind. A lot of sheer genius and talent goes completely unrecognized when people keep insisting that people OWN and have the genius and the talent. It also gets into the realm of channeling, so sometimes people who don't have a strong mental structure defining their world will be more open to spontaneously translating or downloading thought from a source outside themselves. Everyone does this in one degree or another, they just don't recognize it or value it. I once had to choose a password and chose the first random thing that came to my mind that was sort of like words put together and years later recognized it to be a strong non-dual pointer.

Do what you love, love what you do in all areas of life. Meditation, however you want to do it.

@kinesin In my opinion being seen as a mind or having others see me as a mind is just as objectifying as being seen as just a body. The only blinding, in my experience is the pure Light that is what we really are. Have you ever lost a relative who had Alzheimer's or dementia? Dealt with someone who had lost their mind? Someone who couldn't recognize you or remember who you were? And yet a connection of love beyond the two of you is possible there, perhaps more clearly possible than in any other circumstance because there are no expectations there. Solipsism is a severe limitation, but this understanding is like knocking down the barriers of love and connection that we thought were there, but really never were all along.

Consciously enjoy your food, allow yourself to enjoy it. Consciously plan in treats. Also plan to add in healthy foods to your diet. Focus on what you do want, not what you do not want. Also plan other things you like to do that don't involve food, time with friends, time for hobbies, listening to music, etc. Wait until you're in a pretty good mood and make a list of things you'd like to do, big or small. It's all about focusing on what you DO want, and in doing so effortlessly without thought letting go of what we do not want.

Complete non-resistance is what we call unconditional love.

Why would you assume that your mind, let alone anyone else's mind is a real thing if you've never experienced it? No one has ever found a mind.

What is the difference between the thought "house" and the direct experience of looking at your house? When you first look at something without having any idea of what it is, you are in a state of completely taking it in, awareness, a no thought state. When looking at your house with no thought, it makes no difference that it's yours or that it's familiar, truly you've never seen it before. Saying aware of being aware is a loving way to say "be without thought". If you tell someone NOT to think, it's like the don't think of a pink elephant thing, and they constantly think "am I thinking now? am I thinking now?" So "be aware of being aware" means to give your attention to "something" that is prior to a thought arising about it. Awareness is prior to our identity, and prior to any object, it is the very essence, "I Am", how do you really know that you are, now, here in this moment?

I would suggest daily exercise, a balanced healthy diet, meditation every morning. You are in this for the long haul, focus on making a daily routine that grounds you. Regularly express yourself in a focused way as need rises, such as through writing in a journal. Maybe make one in the journal section here. Notice that you don't need others to hear what you express but the expression itself is the important part and you are doing it for yourself, no one else. Let go of what others think, noticing that your thoughts of what others think are always your own thoughts. You can entertain these thoughts or not, it's up to you. Notice the need for others to accept you but instead work on accepting yourself and naturally there will be much less conflict in this area. An awakening is a revelation of complete self love and acceptance and sometimes some turbulence arises when the mind comes back in to own this. The mind having lost its old identity, but still working with the framework of identification has the tendency to see immediate events or its immediate environment and to re-identify with something new. Insights, revelations, people, places, psychedelics and other objects around an awakening can be credited with having a special power that they do not have, a power that is actually not separate from what you are. To the identified mind this power seems incredibly mundane and so it will overlook it in search of something better. In my opinion Rupert Spira's teachings are incredible for helping you to see through the mundane/fantastical duality that can become problematic post awakening and make us want something grounding. Also walks in nature, yoga, any kind of meditation are great. Steer clear of anything drastic right now.

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/grounding