mandyjw

Sorry if you're not familiar with Peanuts but it's the perfect example. She thinks she is in love with Schrodinger and that he won't look at her unless she shouts or if she annoys him, but in reality she wants his creative focus and inspiration. Pianist envy. peanuts envy. The other side of this is that Schrodinger really is a fucking jerk narcissist too wrapped up in his own work and passions, but he won't miss Lucy and see the connection he is missing that she wishes to awaken him to until she finds her own inner pianist.

The meditation results in crying that feels better after like a release, or not so much? Sit down and make a list of self-care, fun things to do. Sounds like the numbest idea ever for this problem, but it can change your outlook on everything. Make one and make it a point to do the things on the list, like 2 or 3 a day. Ideas are look up and listen to old music you love but haven't heard in forever, a web comic you used to love, go to some nature spot you've always wanted to see, etc. Write down anything inspiring or fun that comes to mind. My other suggestion if it's possible and feels right (after doing the first thing perhaps) is to stop avoiding the co-worker. Don't flirt, don't touch her, don't fuck around, but have a real honest conversation about what's going on. People often flirt and stray because their core desire is to reconnect with their true selves. The desire at heart is very pure, which is why judging it and judging yourself for partaking feels terrible. However, the acting it out, the kissing, the flirting is avoiding what's actually wanted. Both of you are simply wanting to know your true worth, and how loved you really are. Lines don't have to be crossed to realize that there aren't actually any lines separating you from what you want. Which comes back to my original suggestion, as you move in the direction of happiness, appreciation and fulfillment, opportunities will arise for you that aren't off limits. Meditation is a wonderful practice to let go of resistance and allow the good that we are, but if we're doing it with the assumption that "I must fix myself, purify/perfect myself and make these problems go away", you draw more lines, more separation, more limitation and more focus on unworthiness.

Presence, awareness, non-judgmental, (ie open), expressive, honest, authentic. Feeling truly seen, fully appreciated, feeling truly heard. The only way to receive it is to be it. Also helps if there's an intensity or a charge that you don't understand, something so compelling that all doubt or distraction doesn't even register. One thing leads to another and another leads to one thing. By that I mean it's both practiced, cultivated and it's also totally uncaused and spontaneous.

Men are more likely to die or have serious complications from COVID than women. Women are more likely to have side effects and reactions to vaccines. However women have led men in higher vaccination rates for months, if not still currently.

Men can also take the pressure off themselves by realizing that when she isn't pleased it's because she didn't do the inner work to be receptive to it, it isn't at all his personal failing or a reflection on him. Then he leaves her to space to more quickly start to appreciate and be receptive again.

1. Read the books you're drawn to reading. 2. Enjoy. You cannot effort memory. You can short term, it's called memorization. it's not reeeal knowledge or memory. It's the equivalent to learning as ordering a sex doll and giving up on women is to relationships.

? ❤ Sigh, and she does it again.

@mememe As a Libra, believe me, balance is total bullshit. Throw the scales away and just use love/resonance as the only measure that can't ever not measure up. Might mean you stay or go or both, but there's never a somewhere else or a should.

Uh! devastating beautiful. without trying.

It doesn't take much. Totally agree with @Proserpina , your willingness to play and intuneness with stories and symbolism is SO frigging refreshing around here. Missed it a lot.

Sqweeeee!

Stories have the ability to hold in place emotional connection, while also allowing the listener to disconnect and let go of the (previous personal story) of self identity. That's the immense potential power of a story. For a religious person whose story says "I am inferior to God" the new thought, "I am God" may undo this. There's an analogy of using another thorn (a false belief) to remove the initial thorn imbedded in the skin. In the end both are thrown away. "I am God" is a thorn that removes a thorn. Works slightly different for the atheist, perhaps. If you are aware that a story is not true, and yet has a kind of deeper truth that speaks only to something deeper beyond you, it is making use of an illusion to dispel the actual illusion that is both the belief and the believer. “Fiction is the lie that tells the truth” -Neil Gaiman

Yeah, feels kinda like homesickness even though you're home. Breathing from the belly, long runs, yoga and a warm shower, (or find your own tricks) can help you tap into that "ahhh, home at last" sense. You aren't evicting yourself from the body. If you did that the landlord would still be there and the tenant would be locked out. There aren't two of you. You own the whole goddamn place.

@Gesundheit2 Really appreciating your transparency this time. ❤

Yep, defining, communicating and letting go of control of what you want is super important. Communicate it like "I'd love it if....." BUT don't manipulate with it, actually feel that way. Men actually really, really want to make you happy, truly happy, and unless we get in touch with naturally inherently being happy we make that impossible for them. I have a friend who is a master at this, she randomly gets impulses to do things and gets SO 100% enthused and excited about them there's no time for attachment to form whatsoever. Zero sense of planning, zero sense of time, zero inhibition. She married someone in the military of course.

IT WAS SUPPOSED TO GO AWAY! THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO JUST BE TEENAGE ANGST! I was supposed to grow up. This was supposed to be childishness. This wasn't supposed to be my very core, my very essence, my very life force. I think it's bullshit. I do. I suspect it's bullshit. Uhmm... who is the shit again? Fuck off! The shit. I AM the shit. I swear to god, when you sit down to make meaning out of something, it slips right through your fingers. It's like trying to swat this fucking fly. Why all the spaces in my writing lately? I think it's because I'm integrating Tolle, (would make more sense if I hadn't deleted the entry about the dream about him, but I'm not leaving THAT on the internet). I'm bringing space in. Uh huh. That's it. I can't bring space in. That's the most idiotic thing I've ever heard in my life. Source, why you bring up my pain points, why are you the exact opposite of what AH teaches in experience? Would anything else REALLY make sense?

What am I even doing? Abraham Hicks words, raw and ragged edge come to mind. I don't even know what she means by that. This has never been done before. Never been thought before. I feel like I have a heroin addiction and it's to the creative vortex. Suck me in, consume me, like a moth to the flame, burn me up. What if it's not even good? A moth to the flame or a fly to shit? I don't care, I see magic everywhere. That eye opened, and it cannot be closed again. There's no question. I AM the question. If I won the lottery I'd be devastated. Who I am is gone. Maybe in order to get wings you have to burn them off first. You gave me intuition, you showed me that there's no death, you gave me connection I never thought was possible, you showed me what love is, that's not even possible and I'm here complaining about it. Bemoaning it. I'm homesick. I've realized that I've never been home before. I've realized that home will burn me up. This is not a door I can enter, dead or alive. There is no door. That DAMN FLY won't go away.

Hmm, I still believe in separate people. No you don't. Fuck off, I'm telling all my favorite people to fuck off today, so fuck off. Alright, what do I want? I want to write three different books, I don't care in what order. I want the feeling of that tingly chill up my spine when I do, or don't. I feel homesick, like I went on a trip, got homesick, came home and the feeling STUCK. I realize that it's some sort of resistance, like I've stuck my feet in the mud and am being dragged along. No you don't. Fuck off! Gah! Everything is wonderful. Peachy keen. Sugary, rainbow unicorn, streets paved with candy, make you hurl, bleh. The more I write my disgust the better I feel, what is this? Opposite town? I thought I was supposed to focus on what I want! That's because you just said, you want to write. Fuck off! Have you have noticed how beautifully colored the flies that land on shit are? Is that what you are, a shit fly? Ok, then, what does that make me? ? I am an effortless attractor.

You attract the behavior by your disdain for it. Practice giving money without any expectation of return, like to charities, beggars, girl scouts, whatever.

The assumption behind the attempt to test it is the belief in a separate self who is progressing over time and can have for itself a state of suffering or its opposite. You only know by how you feel and you can only feel now. Spiritual progress is simply the desire to feel better. The love of truth is just as much about the love and feeling than the truth that is thought to be loved. There's feeling, as in openly aware feeling, actually verb, feeling, and there's "feeling", taking the first thought to be true and believing it, "I am ______." There's nothing wrong with doing that, nothing wrong with feeling frustrated and acknowledging it for example. But if the circumstances and the one who is frustrated is believed in there will be resistance to the desire to feel better. Frustration is actually not frustration but the pure desire to feel better. The magical, instant, beyond time limitations way to feel better is to actually feel. Feeling does not involve time, it is already liberated. The desire to feel better is not just to feel a better more desired state, but to actually feel with more awareness, and the two things which seem to be at odds are actually the same exact thing.

Oh... the need to entertain is the resistance to boredom, not for others but for myself. "I cannot be boring!" I cannot be bored. Wow, what hell I've put myself through. It's funny but tears come out instead of laughter. Looking for meaning where there is none. none (pron.) Middle English non, none, from Old English nan "not one, not any, no person; not the least part," from ne "not" (see no) + an "one" (see one) None literally means, not one and nonduality. brb, looking at pictures of cats in top hats.

I don't give a fuck if you're entertained. I'm entertained, You don't have to be. Ok, I lie. I do care. Why'd you come here anyway? Well, for no reason at all actually. That's so FUCKING BORING, where's the drama, the emotion, the park? Spark. Spark. Not park. Where's the destiny? That would be death. Like the man "Park's" grave you visited a few days ago. Shit. I'm not sure if I feel like a King in checkmate or Schrodinger's cat. Well, neither instance would result in anyone feeling anything. Is it totally UNAVOIDABLE, that I cannot avoid anything? Umm, yes? I'm ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS about how not upset at all I am about this.

I CANNOT RUIN IT WITH WORDS> I CANNOT RUIN IT WITH WORDS> I CANNOT RUIN IT WITH WORDS> I cannot. Can't. Not because I CAN. But because. I can't. I