mandyjw

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Everything posted by mandyjw

  1. You are doing AMAZING for your age! There's a real opening and opportunity at your age, and you are so lucky to have found actualized.org and resources to help you along and understand the journey. I'm just starting to realize how much of my spiritual growth occurred during my teen years, I have no guidance or framework to understand it until now though. I'm not a fan of how popular the idea of getting rid of toxic people is. I er more to the mindset that everyone is in your life to help you grow and making efforts to cut people out usually serves the ego more than it does our higher selves. With that said, it's all about following intuition and knowing when we need to seclude ourselves, avoid distractions people may present and turn inwards. There's no need to cut yourself from unconscious people. I went through years of loneliness and cutting myself off from unconscious people I thought were below me. It took years of seclusion and growth until I realized it was all just so I would be able to see the face of God in everyone and reenter the unconscious world and see it as perfection. The loneliness is fuel for the fire of true love and connection. It helps us to understand the path when we know that's where we are going. So it sounds like you went through an awakening, and need to go back to business and integrate it. Remember that backward and forward don't actuality but only relatively exist on this path. Do you still have a moderate meditation practice, half hour or an hour a day? An awakening often causes your emotional state to react as if you took a pendulum and swung it as hard as you could. Intense bliss states, intense anger or depression is possible. Nature, moderate meditation, healthy food and taking care of yourself will help ground and balance out these states. You're really doing awesome. Pace yourself with meditation, life is spirituality and spirituality is life, we are here for the journey.
  2. 15 minutes, almost first thing in the morning if possible. If you don't like focusing on your breath focus on background noise, the sound of the AC, etc. Think of it as connecting with who you really are, connecting with source. If you think of it as a time to connect rather than a time to have a quiet disciplined mind, I find it goes a lot better. Even if you are only to connect and be thoughtless for 30 seconds while the rest of the time thoughts run through your head while you build your awareness to see and dismiss them that's a huge win. So there are always two ways, an outward and an inward way to fix an insecurity, and usually the answer is both. Is there a way you can practice speaking, even in front of your phone's camera so you can watch the recording later and correct what sounds off? It's amazing what a difference it makes. Check youtube for videos on leadership, how to conduct meetings, how to make people feel appreciated and yet also guide them, etc. Make it a goal to call a meeting sometime following your trip. I also want you to find and buy a book that you think will really help you better run your company, whether that's on management, the grooming business in general, or speaking and building confidence that's up to you. It sounds like the marijuana is really affecting you negatively. I know that a lot of people have spiritual experiences on it but it comes ta a heavy cost, and we want to integrate the spiritual with the everyday, and this habit is separating them further. Consciousness work is about dissolving dualities and becoming more sensitive and in tune with how we feel. If you ignore the body, health and diet and view those things as below spiritual experiences and connection, you actually end up stuck in the mind much more. We are continually on a journey to clear up and purify body and mind as much as possible, because ultimately enlightenment is about transcending the duality. It's a lot easier to drop habits if you have a powerful WHY behind them, and believe me this is a powerful why. The very first insight I had before my awakening was that I was too driven by fear to be in tune with intuition and I saw that I was further fueling the fear with coffee. I knew it wasn't serving my body or my purpose but I didn't want to listen until I had a powerful reason to do it.
  3. The gospel of Thomas. http://gnosis.org/naghamm/gosthom.html The gospel of Mary Magdalene. http://gnosis.org/library/marygosp.htm
  4. For the past few days I've been questioning why so many enlightened masters are men and why the love realization seems to be absent for some of them. I stumbled upon this lady's writing and was absolutely blown away. I bought and read this book. https://www.amazon.com/Grail-Path-Achieving-Transformation-Emotional/dp/0692558837/ref=sr_1_4?keywords=the+grail+path&qid=1565441524&s=gateway&sr=8-4. For the logical (masculine) type, kundalini energy will need to be raised through the base chakra. Kundalini energy is feminine energy that comes from the earth, below. The Hero's Journey is an illustration of this path. For the emotional creative type (feminine) masculine energy is received from above, (Father Sky, our Heavenly Father) requires grounding from the higher chakras. His or her path is taking expansive love and creative connection and focusing it in a logical practical manner that can benefit others. She calls this the "Grail Path" "The Grail Path and The Hero's Journey are diametrically opposite paths. The Grail Path utilizes the Divine Power of Grace to cleanse the inner being and grow the Divine Child. The Hero's Journey uses the Divine Power of Kundalini to initiate the inner transformation of killing the ego and heightening the sense. It does not matter if you call these twins Dark and Light, Bread and Wine, Yin and Yang, Lightning and Snake, or Adam and Eve. These mystical twins, through their metaphorical portrayals, show up through the ages and in a multitude of cultures." Basically to go full circle, and become Christ-like and awakened to love you raise the kundalini energy through the Hero's Journey then follow the Grail Path. Jesus was aware of the two paths as he accepted Mary Magdelene as a disciple, which was really radical at the time. The disciples complained. This is from the Gospel of Thomas. Simon Peter said to them, "Make Mary leave us, for females don't deserve life." Jesus said, "Look, I will guide her to make her male, so that she too may become a living spirit resembling you males. For every female who makes herself male will enter the kingdom of Heaven." I also ordered this book because it is supposed to be the Tao version of The Grail Path. https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062501933/ref=rdr_ext_tmb Ramana Maharshi speaks of the heart on the right, but that's because there are two energies and two paths, there's physically one on the left and one on the right. More about the different energies and the balancing of them in yogic traditions here. https://www.yogajournal.com/yoga-101/balancing-act-2 I'm concerned because I feel that people who are born artistic, and in touch with their emotions (most women) are misunderstood and mishandled when it comes to their approach to this work. We are telling a lot of people to go about things ass backwards. Will you help me change this? I know this forum is mostly made up of masculine, logical types, but we need to understand ourselves and integrate BOTH!
  5. @cetus56 The variety of rocks there is amazing. It also has a really great history. There's a video someone took of a floating pebble at this beach, I always wondered if it was real or staged.
  6. I found this ghost rock on the beach today, there's a different ghost on either side! The white eyes are legitimately some other type of rock that formed there in the holes. It kinda goes along with the black walnut shell eye theme I keep seeing.
  7. Sure! What is your age, gender, how did you find Leo's videos? What are your biggest pain points in life, and which are your greatest strengths in spirituality? Which thoughts or feelings that don't feel good are most repetitive in your experience? What do you currently do for spiritual practices? What are you working toward in life, or what is your greatest vision or goal? What is your age, gender, how did you find Leo's videos? What are your biggest pain points in life, and which are your greatest strengths in spirituality? Which thoughts or feelings that don't feel good are most repetitive in your experience? What do you currently do for spiritual practices? What are you working toward in life, or what is your greatest vision or goal?
  8. So you like myself, probably gravitate towards Leo's style because you need more discipline and structure. You've got the passion and spirit part and have to use that as the fuel, motivation and vision for doing the practical work. How might you reframe this story above so that it honors the present moment better? You already see the business as a positive opportunity, as you mention it was a spark for growth and you've come out of the challenge for better. The uptight and worry feelings can only be dealt with as they arise, so we want to first drop or reframe the story fueling them. Is there a story within the story of your business further fueling them? There are always stories, within stories, within stories, and they need to be peeled back like layers of an onion to get at a problem. Are there physical actions or routines you can put into place that will help lessen the worry and stress? When stress or worry arises we fuel it with our thoughts and it already has the energy of past thoughts or story. Whenever they arise, go back into the sensations into the physical feelings of the body and stay present. Remember you are energy, and thoughts are the primary way we go about controlling and clearing energy. Are you healthy in shape (disclaimer, ask a doctors first, etc) enough to start running or jogging? Even if just for a few minutes a day? My mind was too unsettled to meditate at first but running allowed me to meditate before I even knew what it was as well as keep me better focused throughout the day. I used it to manage anxiety. Dinner with my in laws? I made sure I went for a run a few hours before. You might have to wait until fall for it to cool down where you are but if it's not possible is there another type of exercise routine you can put into place? Often the reason we can't sit still is because we aren't getting enough physical activity (pretty much everyone in this day and age), and physical activity can double as meditation if you pick the right ones. If I could pick one habit for you to pick up that will integrate and help all areas I would say start running or some form of exercise. You can even start a routine of running for example 10 minutes, stretching and meditating for 10 minutes. Does that sound like something you might be able to commit to? The importance of meditation is that it boost our ability to drop stories, and to go into the body and feel sensations. We rewire our brain during mediation to make it easier to rewire our brain when the anxiety comes up when we are under fire in real life. 5, 10, 15 minutes in the morning is it all takes to start momentum rolling in the right way. Which of your addictions is impacting you life in the most negative way? What need is it fulfilling? What can replace it will that will target that need in a more healthy way? I'm a life-long Calvin and Hobbes fan.
  9. Jesus washed his disciples' feet.
  10. NO promises, take no prisoners! What are your biggest pain points in life, and which are your greatest strengths in spirituality? Which thoughts or feelings that don't feel good are most repetitive in your experience? What do you currently do for spiritual practices?
  11. Have and keep morning and nightly routines where stuff that you absolutely need to get done gets done, whether those are cleaning/laundry or daily work tasks. Make to do lists. Find music that grounds you. Spent time in nature and literally ground yourself, barefoot walking. Yoga and meditation are extremely helpful. Be very careful with caffeine, sugar intake and your diet. Journal. Finally, enjoy them.
  12. I take responsibility for things too much. I have a hard time separating caring about someone and caring about their immediate emotional state. @seeking_brilliance Where was the post?
  13. You're sneaky. He really is. Why did this thread attract this situation? Law of attraction? Irony?
  14. Our desire for love and inclusion COULD be blamed for the arising of hate and loneliness. Rid yourself of the desire to be loved and included and you'll become whole and independent. This fatal thinking is the what I suspect to be the highest position of the ego. The last boss? There is no inner peace, love and inclusion without the outer. Sure, you're the screen the movie plays on. But you can't turn the movie off for good. Every morning you wake up and the damn thing turns on by itself! It has no off switch. It feels a lot better to not be so absorbed in a horror film when you know that it all just plays on a screen. A lot of us in this work decide to dull ourselves to the horror scenes, so that they no longer affect us and we no longer care for the characters in the movie. We learn to laugh as we watch heads roll. It never occurred to us to change the fucking channel.
  15. @DrewNows That looks awesome, thank you, have you seen EVERYTHING by Teal Swan or what? My six year old is autistic. Autism often brings with it a lot of strengths. It's really amazing how diverse we all are. When I was a teenager, before they required complicated passwords my password was truthlove for everything. Love cannot be made into an ideal or a requirement, or else it ceases to be love. But truth and love unless reconciled are again a duality just like male and female. Awakening or realization itself is the only reconciliation I guess. @Joseph Maynor Please don't.
  16. "The Tao produced the One. The One produced the Two. The two produced the Three. The three produced ALL things." How many are having this conversation? One or two? The answer is both.
  17. Do you believe that there is value in understanding that there are two main kinds of spiritual energy though? I see a lot of dismissal of different people's paths, understanding and experiences, and thought that if we acknowledged the differences we could understand each other better. I know you say that there are many facets to awakening and leave it at that but two is as concise as it gets before you get to One.
  18. Sure, I feel like a fish out of water sometimes, but the flip side is that that's the fire/desire for Oneness and enlightenment. I'm not blaming men, I really hope what I wrote doesn't come off that way. I know plenty of men who are traveling a similar path. Feminine and masculine is an easy way to describe or understand the energies, but ultimately it's just a metaphor for duality merging to one. This is awesome! Thank you!!!
  19. When you really miss someone and it feels like they want nothing to do with you, the ego wants to turn the strength of love around and it twists itself inside out and becomes hate. Where else can it go but turn inward? There is another to receive the love, but there is no other to hate, so hate destroys. The only way through is to surrender, go into the sensation and feel the burning fire of it. It's not love, it's not hate, it's just hot burning energy. Coincidentally, that's the same way women are coached to deal with labor pains. The story isn't finished yet.
  20. @Esoteric Thank you! Being confident giving advice is probably one of those lower chakra problems I need to deal with. I have the same glimpses and nostalgia from childhood, but more recently I've understood them not just as past but also potential future visions or desires straight from source. I live in a ghost town that was thriving in the late 1800's, and started feeling the energy come through at this one spot that used to be the center of town where I would take my kids to play by the river. Synchronicity ensued, lead to the discovery of a 1800's Clairvoyant doctor's book, which lead to a number of realizations including opening my mind to the paranormal, the law of attraction, led to discovering the remains of his summer home which had overlooked the spot by the river, all of which all played a part in my recent awakening. Energies communicate with kindred and open souls, how can they not when we are one? My challenge is... how can I translate this to others, bring it down to earth so to speak, how can I practically help the planet awaken to love? How do I get my shit together enough so that I can focus and become confident using duality to speak about nonduality?
  21. @Esoteric Disclaimer, I JUST discovered this, am not an authority and really don't want to mislead anyone so please take what I say with a grain of salt. I would forget about raising kundalini energy for now and try to ground your energy instead. The author warns strongly against raising kundalini energy if you've already stared "The Grail Path." See how it makes you feel. I have the exact same stomach area blockage, in fact, I had a strange stomach pain start right before I had my awakening and it's still persists. Consider that you may have been born awake to kundalini energy or awakened in already at some point in early life, raising more of it may cause a storm or imbalance. If it doesn't feel right it isn't right, your inner being knows, even if it's against ancient traditional teachings, your inner being is far more ancient than that, and it speaks to you through feelings and sensations. I would focus on grounding your energy. I kept getting headaches whenever I tried to raise energy. I can tell when I'm working through a pain or block, and this was not that kind of feeling it was a "NO!" kind of pain. For some their path is open to the higher selves, they need to awaken to love and their creative self they need to open the higher chakras. For us, we were born awake to that but struggle with the realities of life here on Earth. For example I've always been a hopelessly messy artist type. Difficulty with managing time, difficulty focusing, very controlling about money, lots of base chakra imbalance problems. In the past we were taught that we must be retarded spiritually to be struggling with such aspects in life, but in reality our path is happening in reverse. Consider how you might work to solve your lower chakra problems, not because you missed something along the way at the start of the path but because they might very well be the last leg of your journey. There's a lot of Christian symbolism in her writing, Jesus was a rare master of both paths and may be a map to teaching/helping all types to awaken fully.