mandyjw

I've been researching witchcraft a lot more. I read a site that said that you should know your moon sign when you were born. Like most I know my sun sign Libra, and never paid much attention to astrology. So I found out the moon phase I was born under. I was born on the full moon. https://www.gothichorrorstories.com/witchs-garden/ My very old shade garden is full of a lot of plants mentioned as being magical, Solomon's seal, lady’s mantle, cowslip, I didn't plant them, they have probably been there over 100 years.

What is greed, an aggressive desire coming from a misunderstood place of lack? We tend to blame the desire or greed itself, and not the perceived lack, or not being aligned. Lately I've been putting a lot more focus into my business, and it's a great illustration of how the law of attraction works. So knowing what I do now, I'm trying to remove a lot of ingrained pathologies about how I manage my time and think about sales from a place of limitation. If I start to see the world as nothing but giving and receiving of love, it's easy to see how one would get wrapped up in making money because money is a very honest sign of value or worth. And really I think it's the easiest one to get. I had a lot of turmoil balancing my home, my family and my kids with my business because making money seemed like the easiest and most fulfilling route to my feeling worthy.

It's so easy in this world to manifest a life of beauty and abundance in the material world. It's easy to sell things to hungry people. They are people who don't understand the nature of their hunger. It's not as easy to create a life with rich relationships love and deep connection with others and the earth. This is where my true greed lies.

I was a Christian all my life but always managed to avoid the worst of the dogma that usually comes with it. I started listening to Eckhart Tolle, Leo and some other teachers about 5 years ago and made great progress in mastering my emotions and opening my mind to spirituality, but this winter things starting falling apart and everything I did to keep depression and desire at bay stopped working. Before that I started getting sensitive to energy from places and had started having mild mystical experiences but didn't notice them for what they were. I read a book by clairvoyant doctor who grew up in my town and was fascinated by how similar our lives were in ways. At the same time a friend who I had had a huge falling out with and I started really reconnecting. She asked me to read a marriage book that I thought was disgustingly conservative and anti-feminist but fancying myself "stage yellow" I decided to read it as a favor so I could help her. The book turned out to be the law of attraction as applied to marriage in disguise. I somehow immediately connected it as law of attraction and saw how much I needed those principals in my life in general. I started honoring my desires again and realized that I wanted to move away from the rural area I live in. I started doing everything in my power to make it happen and then started doubting and searched on youtube out of desperation for something like "should I move?" Abraham Hicks popped up. I don't even remember what she had to say about the subject but immediately I was hooked. My Grandmother died and I applied her teachings to dealing with her death. Mystical experiences continued, I tapped into her consciousness the night she died, and starting noticing and believing in my mystical experiences. I decided that I really wanted to teach spirituality so I changed my youtube channel from financial topics to spiritual ones and starting coming here. I started doing Wim Hof breathing to help put me in a realized state to film. I found the old foundation in the woods where the clairvoyant doctor had lived and started getting insights there. @tsuki and I had some interesting conversations here and I started a journal and then I started channeling, and channeling memories and doing shadow work and he led me through to having a no self experience in the journal. It was grueling in a way but also with bliss states for days, I hardly slept or ate for a couple of weeks, my dreams stopped and turned into LOUD unavoidable channeling of insights or memories. This simplifies the whole thing and glosses over a lot of things and people that really helped. Tied into it was my discovering the history of the clairvoyant doctor and uncovering different parts of his history along the way. One common theme was inexplicable magnetic attraction to people or places, and I realize that I was doing a lot of groundwork beforehand, or during my entire life to become sensitive to it. I'm awake but not all the way integrated, I still have useless energy sucking thought patterns playing out, I'm still unconscious of a lot. That was in April and I'm just now getting back to work and life and able to going deep states of presence again.

Last night I had one of those annoying repetitive dreams. I dreamed that we were going on a vacation and we were flying on a plane somewhere tropical. I've only flown once in my life, when I was 17 with my husband, then boyfriend and his parents. I have this dream a lot and normally I desperately don't want to go, my inlaws are always asking us to go on vacation with them but we always say no, and I especially don't like spending money on plane tickets and vacations and have a really weird resistance to travel. This time though, I really did want to go. I dreamed that I wasn't really packed and especially so because I didn't have my glasses or contacts and was totally going to be screwed. I couldn't decide if we should go back or if we would miss our plane. We went back and my husband didn't seem to give a crap the entire time if we missed the plane, this is typical of his attitude which is in my eyes almost always really relaxed to the point of complacency. He balances my high stung neurotism, but we'd both do well to balance out our own personalities. We went back, I grabbed some contacts and stuffed them in my pocket and we made it back on the plane. The stress I felt though... This is an area in life that really shows my learnt fear and focus on limitation. It's also funny that with my decision shortly before awakening to try my hardest to leave this place, I ended up fully falling in love with it. There's a new statue at the real life mansion summer home that I run to on long runs. Last summer I got sort of obsessed with the place, I'd run through the field of goldfinches and buttercups and there would be fountains and manicured gardens, a rare look as prosperity in this place. The stone statue is of a girl holding an american flag and her feet are broken off.

@pluto AWESOME list there, thanks!

He's like the grinch of nonduality. In his youtube videos he sits in his ugly wicker chair in a sloppy t shirt 3 sizes too big and flails around as he rants about stupid people. I mean, I enjoy the variety but it's not for everyone. There's a sense that he's fundamentally missing something very important that can make listening to him painful. Hopefully one of these days he'll get annoyed enough with the rest of us and venture out to steal Christmas. In comparison Eckhart Tolle and Rupert Spira give off an aura of peace and tranquility, they sound beautiful, they dress nicely and they even have pretty flowers in the background. There are way more enlightened and fully self-realized people in the world than you've ever heard of. Very few are famous or even well known.

I started using fluoride free toothpaste but I would not recommend the switch unless you've already cut way back on sugar in your diet. Then I found out that there's a ton of naturally occurring fluoride in tea, green tea and matcha. If you drink it get young leaf tea grown in Japan, not China. If you are concerned I would look at your entire diet, and not just your fluoride intake. Almond milk is full of calcium carbonate and other additives and preservatives are likely doing more harm than fluoride so I cut out my almond milk habit too. You can also add seaweed or a natural iodine supplement into your diet, it helps flush fluoride. I awakened without the use of psychedelics or much formal meditation, all the while I was drinking green tea and using fluoride toothpaste, so I don't think its a huge concern worth obsessing about. However our food system and environments are so contaminated that it does require a lot of knowledge and awareness to avoid the worst of it. The problem is definitely not just fluoride.

I think we are experiencing birth pains of bringing forth a more conscious community. Most of us came to this as lone wolves and unconsciously (or consciously) want to keep our old identity.

Not selfish at all, you just get blinded by your own light when someone tries to block it with a mirror.

It feels ground breaking and I feel stupid for not realizing this simple fact earlier, I meant what the hell is the law of attraction and Abraham Hicks all about? How am I this numb? More arguing for my own limitation.

This arguing for limitation is pervasive. It's the hidden agenda of almost every thought or at least every thought that doesn't feel good. My entire ego, and all the useless thoughts exist just to argue for my own limitation. It steals the energy away from action in its complaining and arguing for why this or that can't happen, and why this person is wrong or down to everyday frustrations like why I don't have energy to clean the kitchen, it's all just arguing for my own limitation. When I "saw", I was in a particular "place", I was in the cemetery.

Last night I had a dream of flowers, bees and hummingbirds and I was all of them all at once, but there were moments of connection and realization. I got up and wanted to write down some insights but couldn't find a pen. While awake I felt the space in my third eye expand to include my crown chakra and visualized it blooming out like a flower. This morning during meditation I "saw" my limiting ego, arguing for its own limitation.

@tsuki I don't think I really considered the differences between emotional mastery and enlightenment because until recently I had no idea what enlightenment was. It kinda felt like being a little kid happy with her ice cream cone until someone bigger walked by and slapped it out of my hand. At the same time I fully saw how unfounded my fear was, but that the bliss of that is a more of a memory now. I still don't understand the many "facets" of this and how they fit in, self realization, emotional mastery, love. Thanks for the recommendation, I've been wishing for a really good novel to read, and had no idea anything like that existed. Definitely an Easter egg. ?

That makes sense, except that extreme anxiety in social situations feels exactly like stumbling upon a bear in the woods. You can definitely practice and work with your responses to those fears, and fear in general. Does a fully enlightened person have intense adrenaline fear responses to things? Is that a fantasy or do they walk fearlessly in any situation? Ok thanks, that explains it. It's only $1 on kindle. I didn't save the PDF, don't want to get anyone in trouble for pirating.

@tsuki Whenever I come up upon a wild animal in the woods or some strange dangerous traffic situation happens it seems pretty ingrained. I know it's all identification with the body though. I really wanted to share the translation of the Tao Te Ching by Ursula K. Le Guin that you sent me a long time ago in the high consciousness resources section. The link doesn't work anymore though, is there another free translation that is good?

Why?

@tsuki Huh. That makes me wonder about different or opposite examples of that, like my mom. She is very unattached to things, very grounded and giving, yet she is very attached to her and her family's survival, and being a submissive, compassionate person, this all comes out as fear. You can't just tell someone that death is an illusion. You can't even tell yourself that, you still have instincts. Leo was right, that survival attachment needs to be seen for what it is. What happens after that, I don't know.

I'm not sure I feel the same way. I think that nonattachment can be just as pathological as attachment, and there's much more power in it.

I haven't done psychedelics but I have visuals when I close my eyes. You also may begin to see an eye centered when you close your eyes, sometimes it's a starburst, a tunnel or a ring, but often an eye staring back at you. The significance is that you are part of higher intelligence, learning to identify with the one immortal "eye" or consciousness, rather than the two eyes, seeing eyes corresponds to opening the third eye, learning to truly see, etc.

Yes, the only value in using the word trap is to motivate others or oneself to keep progressing.

I just got woke up and the three stages or traps came to me in a dream/thought. Step 1. Attachment. Then you realize you're suffering. Step 2. Attachment to being detached. Then you realize you're still suffering. Step 3. Attachment to being neither attached or detached. Again, you realize you're still suffering. These traps or more like stages that must be transcended in succession rather than "traps". Attachment is sneaky. Once you move beyond step three you see attachment for what it really is and are finally able to act or not act with ease and freedom.

This came to me in a dream/thought, so I'm not sure how helpful it is yet. There are three traps. Attachment. Attachment to being detached. Attachment to being neither attached or detached. These traps or more like stages that must be transcended in succession rather than "traps".

Last year around this time, we had our childless friends over and played a board game with them. They crushed us, but I did particularly bad. I started thinking about how my lifestyle was not challenging me intellectually in the least. Being a parent of young kids, doing basically production/factory like work and spending much of my energy learning to clear my mind and drop thoughts had let my ability to think intellectually degrade. I didn't want to challenge myself to think in depth or read a challenging book because I couldn't deal with the constant interruptions and demands from the kids. In that time also I made huge strides in understanding my emotions and being able to connect and accept people. I let myself feel better about it and figured that I had chosen what was better. Coming here has forced me to challenge myself again and integrate it with the progress I made. The formation of dogma is sneaky. My kids are getting more independent. The baby and toddler stages taught me skills and a level of patient love that is hard to learn and practice elsewhere, but a new chapter is starting. The vision board WORKS. I wrote down a few ideas and went out to mow part of the lawn and lots of light bulbs turned on. Now it's almost entirely full and I have some plans for Fall that give me greater peace to plan for the changing season, as if I'm creating it rather than at the mercy of it.

Really study the law of attraction, Abraham Hicks is awesome. It will help you to find peace with the paradox. She divides it into steps, and to summarize, we are really good at asking for things to be different but not good at letting go and letting life unfold. Both are equally important in understanding the law of attraction.