mandyjw

See, the thing is I really don't want respect. I really don't like respect. I want love, and I have to give it to get it. THE PROBLEM WITH ME IS I ALREADY HAVE WHAT I WANT. SO I'LL NEVER RECOGNIZE IT EVEN IF YOU TAKE IT AND HAND IT TO ME. re cognize . Love is precognition. respect (n.) late 14c., "relationship, relation; regard, consideration" (as in in respect to), from Old French respect and directly from Latin respectus "regard, a looking at," literally "act of looking back (or often) at one," noun use of past participle of respicere "look back at, regard, consider," from re- "back" (see re-) + specere "look at" (from PIE root *spek- "to observe"). Never look back. You can't. You never look back. Respect is a photocopy of your arse. I'll never recognize a copy of my own ass. God doesn't have an arse. Why? Cause he never looks back. Alright. Alright. So we've burned down everything. We hopped up on the preacher's platform and made a mockery of it. Over turned the money tables. The curtain is torn. We don't need to riot. We just need to love. Everything orders and corrects itself. Source has got this. I can trust Source, I got this. I don't have to leave the place of love in order to go get some lesser form I call respect. I don't have to pay 10cents to make photocopies of my nickels. There is spiritual wisdom in Bevis and Butthead. I COULDN'T HAVE DESIGNED IT BETTER. PRAISE BE TO JESUS AND BUTTHEAD. Ohhhh! Butthead! God has no ass and you can't see his face and live. Butthead is literally GOD. Whew.

This forum has always been for men. It's gotten even worse, and worse, and worse, and worse and worse. The entire realm of spirituality seems like this. Ok lets move upstream. I've photocopied my arse and taped a copy over my face. Where's my fucking respect? Why don't you respect me more? UPSTREAM, WE'RE MOVING UPSTREAM. My own insignificance is attracting this. I deserve this. Nope, not upstream. This isn't my fault, I'm observing something, my desire, is to have spirituality be less about accreditation and more about what the actual means and end are, love. I love contrast. You bald fucking bunch of Voldemorts. Upstream. Bob Ross. I love Bob Ross! Bob Ross has a dick. Bobbette Ross would never have been so well received. Bobbette? Kinda sounds like Lorena Bobbet. UPSTREAM! That would solve the dick problem. dick (n.) "fellow, lad, man," 1550s, rhyming nickname for Rick, short for Richard, one of the commonest English names, it has long been a synonym for "fellow," and so most of the slang senses are probably very old, but naturally hard to find in the surviving records. The meaning "penis" is attested from 1891 in Farmer's slang dictionary (possibly British army slang). Meaning "detective" is recorded from 1908, perhaps as a shortened variant of detective. As a verb, "to bungle; to waste time," also "to cheat, treat badly," by 1969, American English (often with off or around). https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ I love dicks! I'm not sure this accomplished what I wanted.

@Wijuu What's wrong with four smaller meals a day and no snacks for awhile? I can only avoid getting very, very hungry and dizzy with three a day if I make them enormous and eat past how much I feel like eating.

Mom and Dad

@Wijuu I've always been happiest with my weight when I'm really engaged with life and very focused on what I love to do. In other words, when I am the least concerned with my diet or what I'm eating is when I slim down. How is that aspect of your life? Are you finding satisfaction in various other ways, hobbies, interests, work, creative expression, etc? Sometimes dropping the thoughts that beat us up and steal our satisfaction is what allows the satisfaction we're looking for and then we don't look for it so much from food. Something else that may help is to let yourself have treats but make them special and set aside from everyday food. If you aren't consciously allowing yourself food you enjoy, it might become a fixation. Also always eat a good healthy breakfast with fiber and protein. Work in healthy food like veggies. Focus on slow changes that make sense and stick and aren't focused on deprivation. Start to notice how you feel when you eat certain foods. Rather than giving attention to the thoughts that say "I'm bad for having it eaten that" but really feel into and notice how much energy you have, how clear your thoughts are, stuff like that.

And ANOTHER? My head is getting big. Damn, I gotta get rid of this self image identity. Fucking roller coaster. I HAVE A SENSITIVE STOMACH. Oh wait. That's more self image. image (n.) c. 1200, "piece of statuary; artificial representation that looks like a person or thing," from Old French image "image, likeness; figure, drawing, portrait; reflection; statue," earlier imagene (11c.), from Latin imaginem (nominative imago) "copy, imitation, likeness; statue, picture," also "phantom, ghost, apparition," figuratively "idea, appearance," from stem of imitari "to copy, imitate" (from PIE root *aim- "to copy"). Meaning "reflection in a mirror" is early 14c. The mental sense was in Latin, and appears in English late 14c. Sense of "public impression" is attested in isolated cases from 1908 but not in common use until its rise in the jargon of advertising and public relations, c. 1958. A poor copy. I'm a poor copy. I can't believe no one's ever thought of this before.

I don't make sense to anybody. Same. This was supposed to be about me. That's your problem then. This conversation is oddly frustrating and satisfying at the same time. Yeah. That's because it's not actually a conversation. I'll go, I said, I'm game. I'll dive into personal development, realize it's BS, and there's no person, fuck my psyche, and I'll end up talking to imaginary friends and liking it. We are creative, yes, if you could EXPECT the outcome, it wouldn't be satisfying. We are all about satisfaction. Yes, you are. And there, just like that a compliment. For you, for me. Out of no where. That's what I wanted. I just want some fucking validation! I want people to get this, and I know... there's nothing to get. I know it's funny, but I still think it's a bit devastating. You think. You don't think. What the fuck I got myself into? I'm a shy little girl. What a story. Makes for a hilarious punch line. Punch me then. Always looking for abuse. That's the abuse. abuse (n.) mid-15c., "improper practice," from Old French abus (14c.), from Latin abusus "a using up" (see abuse (v.)). Bahahaha. It just doesn't sit right you know? Being a nobody, giving it all up, when in fact, you've always been second rate. I know this is so deluded I shouldn't even say it. What was it I heard the other day "you don't love yourself you just drop the thoughts that say you're a piece of shit." I think I misquoted. But yeah. But how do I drop the thoughts, when I have nothing better to focus on? In love there is no other. I'm really, really good at seeing the best in others. Except when I think they ought to be seeing the best in me. What was it Nissagadatta said. Treat everyone like royalty but don't care what you get in return. I still care. Christ, I care. That t was a mistake. What was the conversation I had yesterday? Jesus attracted an early excruciating death by being a kickass person. That's out dumb ass limited interpretation of it. Here I am, wishing I had more accolades and Jesus was hung on a cross. Well then he got a TON of accolades. accolade (n.) 1620s, from French accolade "an embrace, a kiss" (16c.), from Provençal acolada or Italian accollata, ultimately from noun use of a fem. past participle of Vulgar Latin *accollare "to embrace around the neck," from Latin ad "to" (see ad-) + collum "neck" (see collar (n.)), from PIE root *kwel- (1) "revolve, move round." Judas' kiss. Good job Earth one more lap to go, after this you can puke your guts up and have some Gatorade! Just kidding you gotta keep doing laps and revolving cause, like forever cause no one gives a shit, even though our lives depend on it. Yeah, credit is like a cause, having a cause for happiness. Complete and utter bullshit. I'm smart. I get it. I get how ridiculous I really am. But why am I still so.... unsatisfied. Cause you have to give it get it. OK! Jesus! Does all the deepest wisdom boil down to all the annoying shit Mom told me all the time that I never paid attention to? There is no continuum of time.

The problem isn't in the action itself, the suffering is in the beliefs and assumptions behind it. It's not a future karma thing. if you were to get slapped on the hand it would be the love of the universe saying "hey! Take a look at these limiting beliefs already, would you?" There is no greater joy or freedom in life than to give knowing that everything you give with a clear heart and mind and no hidden motivation is ever lost. It only becomes more. Exponentially more. Not just in the form of stuff or money but as joy and freedom itself.

The only way to exclude anything is to think of it. It is only within thought that things appear to be separate. So, here's the irony, the only way to exclude something is to think of it. So when you think you're excluding you're actually actually including. The only thing we can do is give attention and thought to what we want to include. Thought is meant to be used like ordering a meal at a restaurant. You chose what you want and speak that to the waiter. If you say "I don't want the prime rib" all they will hear in their eagerness to take your order is "the prime rib". Even if they listened closely, they still cannot bring you a meal at all until you choose what you do want.

Since when does a reddit post discredit something? The message of LOA is that you create what's true for you. You're free of outside authorities imposing truths on you.

No form is ideal, nor is everyone going to like or find your form attractive. I might find dandelions to be the most glorious flower, edible, beautifully, sunny yellow and someone else might spend their life trying to eradicate them from their lawn and their life. Rather than trying hard to convince that person that dandelions are wonderful and beautiful and healthy, because I want to eradicate dandelion haters from my life, I'm just going to enjoy dandelions. Deviating from the topic is often enlightening because when we change the subject it's a lot less loaded and we can see what we are actually trying to understand more clearly. Just don't deviate to make the topic more loaded.

Yeah, I mean I guess the clearest way to say it is that there's a thought of fear or a thought of the thing feared. When those thoughts are absent there is no fear. Thought is the only way we can seem to resist or include anything. Awareness is a yes to everything. The feeling of fear is response to the thought, not to an actual circumstance. The circumstance could be interpreted as a monster under the bed, a terrorist or the thought of not being enlightened. The feeling response of negative emotion or fear is saying this thought isn't true or desired. When we drop thoughts around fear and feel, when we shine the light of awareness on it, it's not separate from that light that we are and ceases to exist (stick out) as a separate experience or thing (ultimately, a thought). This only ever happens in real time. There no real continuum of time or a person who witnesses a continuum of time that who can do it over time.

It's still spinning a story of an I that is threatened (not by some actual threat but by being subject to the experience of fear) getting to a place where the I is secure. If I tell a story about being fearless as being a condition that marks my recognition of my fearlessness, I will naturally resist and reject fear. That resistance and rejection is actually the fear itself.

Why do you think regret feels bad? In general. Is it beneficial to feel regret?

You aren't your body. However... short guys are hot. Peter Dinklage is hot. I know a guy with dwarfism in real life and he's very attractive. Rather than needing others to change their opinions, the hottest thing is to just be cool with who you are and not care what others think about how you appear to them. Seriously can't think of anything hotter than that.

You know the trouble with thinking thoughts like "I'm stuck with this agony"? Your feeling and emotions is guidance. Just like when you poke yourself it hurts, feeling and emotions are responding in the same way. Your emotions are yelling at you "hey, those thoughts hurt!". These thoughts are already self harm. So when we think "I'm stuck here in agony" feeling says "NO!". Feeling is responding to the thought in real time. Not understanding how thoughts are connected to feeling is like punching the lights out of the medical doctor who is trying to set your dislocated shoulder back in place. It's easy to understand why you would want to do such a thing in a reactionary way but your emotions are like the doctor, trying to help you. If the thought feels bad it is not to be believed. Can you take a warm bath, do some deep breathing, or do anything, maybe reading or writing here IS that... anything that takes the focus off of the thoughts about how you are feeling? When you take the focus off the thoughts that are feeling bad emotions naturally rise and resolve. You can journal to express such thoughts, or speak them or write them like you did here. We do this with the intention of letting them go, with inviting in new perspectives, with asking someone who is feeling good to bring us along with their thoughts. Reading this you are letting go of your thoughts, you are downloading my thoughts. Feeling is responding on the level of how you are receiving or interpreting them. It is always responding on your behalf.

If you turn the light off, all colors go away, red is not red. The appearance of red is the rejection or bouncing back of red light waves and absorbing of all other color wavelengths but red. You appear to be what you reject, but you are not the appearance... but what allows the appearance to be. You are the light.

@Nahm ?

That's because two introverts don't say anything at all and two extroverts never listen to each other. You don't want to be one or the other.

A prisoner is thrown in there against their will because they are assumed to be wrong, bad, unworthy of love and need fixing, You reap what you sow. It's not that the prisoner is a bad seed, it's that the intentions for doing such a thing are misunderstood. Now if one were to do the same thing to themselves, they might realize the error of their own intentions which would be an incredible breakthrough. If someone did such a thing for themselves out of curiosity and love, they would also reap what they sowed.

Was just pointing out that in order to communicate this above you used unique language based on religious belief.

Interesting use of the word "devilry". Where'd that come from?

Stress, illness, hormonal changes all trigger hair loss with a time delay. If you have long hair it is very noticeable because you see hair everywhere, but you might not actually be losing much. If it lasts a very long time, like over 6 months it might be something chronic. Hypothyroidism is one possibility, but the doctor should have checked that. Like dogs shed twice a year with season changes, people do that too just not regularly.

Her teaching style may seem too entertaining to be deep but she has some of the clearest teachings out there. She uses unique language and has a great framework to better understand nonduality and how to go deeper with it, and especially understanding using love and desire as a force that you go with to dissolve self, not against. I'm going to add any videos I come across that particularly strike me here, and would appreciate if others do the same. All of it is amazing though.