mandyjw

Yes. I think you just can't see clearly to the truth of how or why something is and the real reasons behind it if you're too busy judging it, ie assuming that you know what it really is before you've really contemplated and been open-minded to the why behind it. Confusion is suffering, and we have compassion for those who are suffering and want them to feel better. But when people act out of confusion we judge the actions and completely miss the confusion, (suffering) driving the behavior.

I don't even know what direction the main stream is going anymore.

This has got me thinking. The example with the diesel trucks is the kind of toxic masculinity that I'm most used to in my upbringing, along with a whole lot of other behaviors that go along with having that sort of identity. When I was 16 I thought boys in jacked up trucks were hot. To be honest that programming is still there. Same with a man with status, power, confidence and success. I can't deny it's not... kinda hot. So guy buys environmentally destructive truck to get girls, and if girl dresses in a short sundress and rewards him for his materialistic disregard of the environment then wasn't the toxicity just the both of us playing out our survival drives? Where is the toxicity? Isn't all judgment self-judgement ultimately?

@Bazooka Jesus Love, love, LOVE! I think that all humor is actually self-deprecating, whether we realize it or not.

@DrewNows Co-imagined.

M: All experience is illusory, limited and temporal. Expect nothing from experience. Realization by itself is not an experience, though it may lead to a new dimension of experiences. Yet the new experiences, however interesting, are not more real than the old. Definitely realization is not a new experience. It is the discovery of the timeless factor in every experience. It is awareness, which makes experience possible. Just like in all the colours light is the colourless factor, so in every experience awareness is present, yet it is not an experience. Q: If awareness is not an experience, how can it be realized? M: Awareness is ever there. It need not be realized. Open the shutter of the mind, and it will be flooded with light. Q: Are there levels of awareness? M: There are levels in consciousness, but not in awareness. It is of one block, homogeneous. Its reflection in the mind is love and understanding. There are levels of clarity in understanding and intensity in love, but not in their source. The source is simple and single, but its gifts are infinite. Only do not take the gifts for the source. Realize yourself as the source and not as the river; that is all. Q: I am the river too. M: Of course, you are. As an ‘I am’ you are the river, flowing between the banks of the body. But you are also the source and the ocean and the clouds in the sky. Wherever there is life and consciousness, you are. Smaller than the smallest, bigger than the biggest, you are, while all else appears. Jesus Christ this book... I can barely stand to read it. I love it and yet it makes me deeply uncomfortable and unfocused/focused at the same time. I always end up quoting shit here and writing my reactions out when I read it.

"Am Iike... thinking or am I just like, thinking that I'm thinking?" Well that mockery got super deep, super fast. Jokes are brutal. All true humor is self-deprecating.

"Why is a raven like a writing-desk?"

Guys, watch the video in Leo's blog. https://www.actualized.org/insights Since he has a huge following of intelligent heath and fitness nuts and self-actualizers who care about him he gets an overwhelming amount of health advice.

Oh my God, what did I just read?

Does somebody need a hug?

Maybe, but I think it's important to put things in context and understand that people don't interact in front of cameras the same way that they do in real life. The real fulfillment of sex and love to me is about finding someone you can drop the persona you've built up with. It's the freedom of letting go of it. Building it up for the entertainment of others is kinda like those commercials where they purposefully spill food on clothes to show off how well their stain remover works. Entertainment ans business in all kinds of forms has built up huge expectations for sex and relationships on both the part of men and women. Actually having a real fulfilling relationship is being smart at separating out what you truly desire deep down from what you've been conditioned to think you should want.

Women/people in general blush when they are genuinely uncomfortable or when someone completely controls the conversation. My sister once dated the much older general manager of a resort she worked at and I met him when I went to visit her there. She had arranged for a private table for us and he joined us unexpectedly and grilled me the entire time about my sister. He was a powerful guy and he was also completely out of the realm of what would have been appropriate behavior. When we went into the bathroom after dinner we were both shocked that both our faces were beat red. I will blush and be sweet to men when inwardly my skin is crawling. It's almost like a survival instinct.

They are talented confident people but it's all just for show, mild flirting. No chemistry. It's all just how they've learned to interact. A lot of these clips have much more to do with people's careers than their ability to really connect with people. Career,confidence and attraction go hand in hand but real attraction and chemistry has a powerful pull far beyond what you'll see when you watch people interact in entertainment.

@Akemrelax Nope, don't actually find him attractive at all.

Still something missing though. Man mocks everyone in the room for putting on a show, while he ironically puts on an even bigger display. Pretty sure 95% of the people actually in the room for him are quite annoyed. Problem is his jokes are often at someone else's expense. It's great charisma, humor and assertiveness but feels ever so slightly... ick to watch.

Ok, that explains a lot. I've really loved watching Tim Ferriss evolve over time too.

@Leo Gura Yep that's pretty brilliant. Laughing is such a release of tension, he literally puts on the table what everyone is thinking and kinda sorta uncomfortable about the situation but generally try and fail to ignore. A lot of humor is just finding what people are tense about in any given situation and bringing it to light with complete and utter disregard for it.

The first Russel Brand interview I watched was bad, so it's funny to hear him talked about an this perfect example of extroversion here. It was this one. He couldn't connect with her at all, basically ended up mocking her a bit. I laughed a few times but overall it left a lot to be desired.

@iceprincess Sorry for turning your thread into a musical.

Oh shit. I just realized I completely misunderstood the concept of a servitor. Huh. I read a book by a clairvoyant doctor who seemingly awakened through a series of hypnotherapy sessions, he had an obsession with them. The power of another's focus and matched desires for awakening can be tremendous. The apple had to be ripe to fall though.

@iceprincess Hugs honey. I think the best place to start is with a whole lot of self love. Also make the intention to find the right man screen carefully for one who will take the time to unravel real intimacy. In the meantime work on your psychology and confidence. Yin yoga and bellydance are great for releasing trauma and repressions.

@iceprincess It's about vulnerability. First you have to pick a man you can really be vulnerable with.

@DrewNows