mandyjw

If it feels bad to determine and believe that writing, asking questions and conversing is a waste and a distraction and "not doing the work" I'd say feeling is saying, "nope" to that. I'm definitely not saying that. I would say, feel when you write, and read. You always are anyway Not two. Really, neither. It's not even a response because response implies it comes after. It does NOT come after. It "feels" shallow? Really? My dog loves to be scritched behind the ears. He absolutely does not give a shit as to "why" he likes that. He just thoroughly enjoys it, it feels good. I don't find that shallow, I find it quite pure and such a breath of fresh air. Feeling good does not need a reason why. You say you want a whole lot of stuff, understanding, etc, etc, but really you want it because of the way you think it will make you feel. Turns out the way to getting it is... feeling. Because it is an end unto itself. No duality. No time. Not two. The guilt is saying, "now, now, now, now. You can only feel now. You are guilty for not feeling, a minute ago? NOW is the only time you feel! NOW! NOOOOOOW!" Obviously beating an idea in your head... is not feeling? It's thinking. Trying to get it. Get it through, get it in there. Nope. Those are thoughts. Thoughts are not feeling. Those thoughts feel bad because, you're always feeling. So how could you guilt yourself for not feeling, when you're always feeling? You can't! You cannot! That's exactly why it feels bad. It's brilliant. Not in the "the light took a million years to get here from the star, but a you ARE the light kinda brilliance." It's immediate. Immediate. Immediate. And when you ask "how", I just say.... Wow. Look at the stars! This is sheeeeeeer brilliance. The astronomer told me some great facts about them that really expanded my ideas of what they were and what was possible, but now if he'd just shut the hell up I'd just look in complete wonder. I wonder? I wonder and I wonder. It's a wonder. YOU are a wonder. WONDER OF WONDERS. How does wonder feel? If I tell you that I love Leonardo Dicaprio and you send him to my front door and I open the door, freak out, crap my pants, and hide in the closet, I really only dualistically loved the idea of him. Understanding/Enlightenment will not settle for this fear/revere "longing after an idea of something" bullshit, it wants real love, cause you do. Real love is fully felt, real love feeeeeeeels like love. It knows no separation between small town girl and revered super famous movie star. All else is just an idea. Same idea if I love knowledge and understanding. It will not settle for longing after the idea of it. It knows no separation between the one who does not know and the known. All your knowledge, all your understanding is based in feeling. And you are trying to co opt it all by saying "Nope. I must understand first before I go there." While all along, you're feeling anyway. There's no where to go.

It's just a nonja s-word.

Yes, but you're being a bit of an idealist here. You're pretending that you aren't the prodigal son. If you are lifting weights and start to feel actual pain, like sharp pain, you know to stop lifting or decrease the weights. The difference between discomfort (it hurts so good) of pushing ones muscles and pain is one that someone has to tune in and feel and be present to tell. But it is a vast, vast difference between the two. Likewise I can feel "negative" emotions and have that kind of discomfort, or I can continue thinking and have that pain, that suffering. The pain is a calling to stop what you're doing. What you are doing, is thinking and interpreting. If you are used to finding all understanding and solutions and resolution in the realm of thought you will never "hear" that signal. You will be hell bent on continuing your feat. You will push through it as if it is simply discomfort and you will do damage. If you are not lifting weights at all, no need to care. if you aren't thinking at all, then no need for thoughts of notice of recognition. Of course it's a thought, in your direct experience, it's not gonna be like I say it is. It's still hookers and blow, or whatever it was that prodigal sons did in their day. When you are out there in thought and you start to feel and come home, there will often be thoughts of recognition because it's the recognition that you desire to go home and then you move there. Our desire is to feel good. The way home is to feel. We are already good. We didn't need to go out to prove it and find ourselves out "there". We already have a loving home. An insight is a thought of recognition. Insights and epiphanies FEEL amazing because they are aligned with awareness aligned with direct recognition. Then months later when you try to elicit the feeling from your insight from thinking the same thought, it's not going to happen. Because thought is the only thing that can make others, time and separation seem to be real. The direct feeling of it is the profoundly helpful tie to home. Why? Because feeling is always direct. It is now. If I stab myself in the arm, it's gonna hurt. Absolutely we can deny this, but that's numb. Numb is the best term for stupid anyone ever came up with. It's most direct. You know how diabetics have to be super careful of their feet because they can't feel them? You wouldn't want to be without that deeper intelligence, prior to your own thoughts. I can think against myself, I can create a self that awareness is aware of and say THAT has awareness. Then I can believe that THAT needs to suffer in order to secure peace and happiness by going out "there". It's self harm. There is no truth absolutely, Truth doesn't need to confirm itself to itself. How can it confirm itself? One way. Conform itself. By thinking it IS a form, separate from itself. Are there two of you, one that can confirm yourself to the other? Feeling is already guiding you. Why cause it's always HOME. It always knows right where home is. Again, if you're looking for understanding through thought, it's ultimately not gonna satisfy. Hookers and blow. As I said, even insight and epiphany is marked and known by a feeling of understanding. There is no logical understanding without feeling, feeling even marks it. Peace/love/happiness is a lack of thoughts trying to achieve and force into place. It is the direct acceptance of all. The father always accepts the son home. The son is free to squander his birthright of peace/love/happiness, all just to come home to another f-ing party. The father is always there waiting. ? Could we also say insanity is lifting those weights, hell bent on a future goal, hell bent on avoiding pain through suffering pain, numb to the damage we do to ourselves and others? Thought says it's dualistic, in that direct seeing, it never becomes separate. There's nothing I can do to make myself not dual. I'm already that. Duality is the indirect "how" of creation. Color is created by absorbing and rejecting different wavelengths. We have light and dark (absence of light). In the awareness OF creation, it is not dualistic. You are the light. There is no light, really, just Awareness, that's the light. Nonduality, does not exclude duality. Everything awareness is aware of is just its own light. Only ever now. When we hurt and do damage is when we say, "I am a color." "I am a color, not the light that makes color possible, and so YOU are a color I don't like or am afraid of." "I am the genetic code my expression is filtered through. I am intelligent, therefore I am numb to anything that does not fit in with want I think. I cut myself off from the flow of light ever now, the real brilliance, so I can think of myself as only what it shines upon, separate from it. Because you're Brilliant intelligence itself only ever now, your being, is only EVER that light, when you think thoughts that say you are anything lesser than or other than that feeling (now) says, "nah dude."

"This feeling is bad" could be a thought of recognition. If I see a cardinal at the bird feeder, the thought "cardinal" doesn't need to arise for me to appreciate it. If the thought "cardinal" arises, it's just a secondary neutral notation of what I'm aware of. Now I can communicate to someone that I saw a cardinal. If however, the feeling response to the thought "this feeling is bad" IS itself bad, it could be spinning an idea of itself as a depressed one, or something like that. The thought is not simply noting something it is aware of, it's dragging itself into it. It's really hard to explain this out without making a whole lot of assumptions, because in our direct experience it's nothing like we think it to be, that's the entire point of looking to see. We assume that we know what anger or jealousy feel like, but thought knows nothing of feeling. Awareness is what you really are, always now. You may have had a lot of thought activity about being a someone but all those thoughts have ever been is awareness, aware of thoughts. Because feeling is direct, always now, it is our link to how aligned with now and awareness our thoughts are. In fact if you find that razors edge of now, there aren't any thoughts. They are periphery. But again, it seems you get to explore and be the prodigal son. When you're directly feeling, you are already out, you are that non existent razor's edge. If you do this to avoid this, you're thinking, and thinking is the only way that avoidance happens, and you'll know by how it feels. What actually IS insanity? What do you think? Do you understand the total difference between a judgement of a thought after the fact, the judgement of what you think someone else's thoughts are, and the direct feeling awareness of the thought?

"Chasing your dreams" is better said follow, surrender to your heart in my opinion. courage (n.) c. 1300, corage, "heart https://www.etymonline.com/search?q=courage

Again, because feeling isn't a thought. No secondary thought, it's direct. You totally can think negative things without feeling bad. You can think anything you want. I can call you some ridiculous insulting thing and you'll know I'm joking. Note how often the most fun people to be with tease and can take teasing. Your belief is calling the shots to how emotion interprets the current thought. "I am miserable at parcheesi." Neutral, kind of amusing. I've never played it, never known anyone who did, I'd have to google it to know what it is. I have NO beliefs about it regarding a sense of self. "I am miserable at that thing I really, reeeeeally want to excel at but often doubt myself in." feels bad. I have many beliefs behind it and sense of self behind it. There is no such thing as objective negativity.

@TruthSoldier It's not retarded, (as in slow) it speaks to something that's not moving or progressing at all, beyond intellect. That's why intellect misses it. It's the light the intellect is a filter over, intellect likes to claim the light but is only ever the filter that obscures and shapes the projections of it.

It doesn't matter what the subject of the thought is. The subject of the thought can be about a person or about a feeling. A thought about a feeling is a thought, not feeling. Feeling itself is always direct, now. I can perpetuate negative emotion by being mad at the asshole who is being an asshole or I can be mad at myself for letting it bother me. The content or subject of the thought does. not. matter. It's just more spinning of the thought avoiding the feeling.

You are feeling itself, you are awareness of the feeling. In that absence of thought there are no good or bad feelings. When you feel bad you know you've gone out towards thought and got lost in those that seem to separate you from that. It's a call home so to speak. Because you are not the feeling but the feeling, it's guidance. You are always home, always welcome home, but thought seemingly can be the prodigal son, and explore all kinds of shit.

Can you explain what you mean by this more?

You have no cents? "from sentientem, present participle of sentire "be of opinion, feel, perceive" (see sense (n.))." But you have pre-sense, presents? Merry Christmas!

"You" committed a crime and now "you" must pay the sentence. sentence (n.) c. 1200, "doctrine, authoritative teaching; an authoritative pronouncement," from Old French sentence "judgment, decision; meaning; aphorism, maxim; statement of authority" (12c.) and directly from Latin sententia "thought, way of thinking, opinion; judgment, decision," also "a thought expressed; aphorism, saying," from sentientem, present participle of sentire "be of opinion, feel, perceive" (see sense (n.)). Loss of first -i- in Latin by dissimilation. From early 14c. as "judgment rendered by God, or by one in authority; a verdict, decision in court;" from late 14c. as "understanding, wisdom; edifying subject matter." From late 14c. as "subject matter or content of a letter, book, speech, etc.," also in reference to a passage in a written work. Sense of "grammatically complete statement" is attested from mid-15c. "Meaning," then "meaning expressed in words." Related: Sentential. https://www.etymonline.com/search?q=sentence

?‍♂️ BEFORE THE BIG BANG all matter was packed into a SINGLE DOT smaller than the period at the end of this sentence

Yet to become and already done are not two conflicting separate things. Potential and actual are not two conflicting things. You're so completely done and dead, that you're full of life, you're so full of life, you're pregnant with infinity. There's no better place to be than nowhere.

Sorry you had a bad roommate situation. I can't imagine having an illness like that without people around to help and sorry you had to go through that. This does seem like a personal, one off incident though. People use all kinds of concepts, popular or unpopular to avoid feeling their discomfort. How many female US Presidents have there been? Heh, maybe the real reason is that we still don't want to have to clean up after men.

No doer does not equate to a person having a destiny. If there is no doer of events and actions existing over time then destiny is a time dependent concept. Genetics and conditioning are a concept, a concept even further removed than the appearance or idea of the one who is or isn't doing.

OKAY IF I SAY SO? Ay Macarena.

YOU only THINK YOU DO. YOU THINK YOU DO. If only you knew how the same we really are. Already. But you couldn't cause that would be a thought. You can feel it thought. You can beyond feel.. BE it. Then we could ruin it again and call it "Love". If only you knew what you already do for me, what a fucking gift you are, in this very moment, if ONLY you knew. Sigh. Phew.

You do not like women, nor do you like talking to them, nor do you enjoy the idea of having a partner. You don't. You think you do, experientially, you don't. It seems to be a cause of pain, and you think they are a cause of pain but it's your thoughts about it that are the problem. You don't actually like nor enjoy women. You don't let yourself. That's the problem. It is just empty. What magic has to happen to CAUSE you to feel love? It can't be caused. It's you letting go of thoughts about how you do NOT have a partner, how women are bad and don't give you what you want, or whatever else about yourself. Same as me. Same as Leo. If Leo doesn't enjoy nor feel love for his community and his work, and says "it's all LOVE" to gloss over it, who does he really cheat? Is not love itself, felt, known only ever now, a reward unto itself for no one? I think we've established love isn't a word, it's not characters on the screen, nor is it an idea. That's why you're feeling such dissonance with it, you know deeply that it isn't but you're still trying to make it out like it is.

moment (n.) late 14c., "very brief portion of time, instant," in moment of time, from Old French moment (12c.) "moment, minute; importance, weight, value" and directly from Latin momentum "movement, motion; moving power; alteration, change;" also "short time, instant" (also source of Spanish, Italian momento), contraction of *movimentum, from movere "to move" (from PIE root *meue- "to push away"). https://www.etymonline.com/search?q=moment moment, momentum

The tongue doesn't have a taste itself, the center of the eye only works by the blindness of letting in light through a pitch black hole, the eye of a hurricane is peace. When you look, really look, at something as if you've never seen it before do you know it, or not know it? You are the utter presence that looks, it doesn't know what it's looking for. We superimpose images over that pure every present, always now looking that say we recognize and know what something is, but the knowing itself in it's pure brilliance is neither knowing nor not knowing. So that's just "how" you're already reading this text, seeing this screen. Thought, occurring now or memory (occurring now) claims to know otherwise. But it's not the Knowing.

Could be vaccines, could be toxic people, could be heavy metals, could be 5G, could be deluded teachers, could be of being deluded yourself. Just be very afraid, and know you are God. Wait, I think it's "Be still and know I am God?" Whatever.

Don't say you're sorry! Just get out of that chair. Dance like no one is watching and with the forgiveness that understands that all women have been traumatized by the macarena at 12 years old and/or far worse. Do you know what it's like? Being the one who is expected to look pretty and be sweet all the time? Cause that's how you think you earn your love? And really it's all about your body identity and everything false about you? Do you reeeeally think being objectified that way and objectifying yourself that way is satisfying? How do you think she feels? Same way as you " no one can love me." Same, DAMN conclusion. You say you don't like being there in that easy chair but you do. You expect the world to revolve around you to please you, but you refuse to please yourself. You're over here saying how terrible women are and yet you see them through this same objectification lens that they so desperately want more than anything to drop themselves. Don't say you're sorry. Don't BE sorry. Just put yourself in their shoes. This is all much, much, MUCH more easily resolved than you think. This is NOT about you getting what you want from women, it's about healing, for everyone, healing a big misunderstanding about what we fundamentally are. It's so much more big picture than you know. You are so much more completely Loved than you know.

https://youtu.be/DL7-CKirWZE

What's this I-deal? Your intuition knows best, but know one knows where an intuition comes from. It takes one to no one.