mandyjw

As someone who really wanted to purse higher education in psychology but didn't make it work out through the traditional education route, I want you to open your mind to appreciating the value in the course you're on. It's all the more powerful and useful to you now that you won't be dogmatic about it. I wouldn't assume that you have to throw it away. I really believe that the world will really need people who can bridge these fields, who have these deeper transcendent insights but also the qualifications. Look into Carl Jung, read Woman Who Run With Wolves. You can certainly integrate psychology and spirituality. There's no border between the two. Keep your focus on what you want, don't resist what you don't want. Sometimes we create conflicts when there are none. With a slight shift of focus on what we want and what inspires us the conflicts falls away. The brain exists, and it does not. Both statements are simultaneously true. No conflict.

All are both true and untrue, it's easiest to focus on how aligned your thoughts are by how they feel rather than looking for outside objective truth. Incredibly painful thoughts can bring to light deep but unseen, or misunderstood desires or intuitions. The same thought can be thought again and understood, but of course when it is it will feel amazing. Clarity is inseparable from the feeling of the thought. Align with feeling first.

The grass is always greener. I'm in a similar position and in my early 20's I struggled with it a lot. What I really wanted wasn't actually sex with other men, just the validation and fun of being wanted by other men.

You may actually have very different desires from those that you think you should have or see others being motivated by. Be brave enough to figure out what they are and go for them.

You're a good guy, Leo. Thanks for putting the work first. It takes balls to put up a post like that and it takes balls to take it down. Your work has covered really important parts of spirituality and subjects bridging to it that no one else had the courage to take on before. I for one needed the bridge. I have incredible appreciation and gratitude for you. I really hope that life, love, companionship and your work integrate seamlessly for you.

I think it's a problem of disconnection. The movie Blood Diamond did more to educate people about a major issue than the news did, mostly too late. People only pay attention to what effects their lives day to day or certain fears that might affect them unless there's a strong emotional pull. It's hard to make people care about things that seem so distant from their day to day lives. It's an art. The easiest thing to do is to donate monthly to the best organizations that work toward improving these issues. https://guides.lib.berkeley.edu/c.php?g=496970&p=3626027 They have to be improved in areas all around. For example, educate women and there's less overpopulation and hunger becomes a smaller issue over time. Everything works to improve the overall situation together.

Shhhh....

I can sort of appreciate imagine that there's a stronger impulse and aversion there for men. There are guys that I find really, immediately physically attractive. But in real life I've never really loved what was in their heads and hearts enough to be emotionally pulled enough to do anything about it. In a long term relationship stuff equals out. Like my husband comes from a fairly rich family, mine is lower middle class. His last year of college, his parents decided to cut him off for religious reasons and then he graduated in the middle of the financial crash with no job prospects. I made a lot of money while he was in school so I bought our house, paid for our wedding and most everything for a while. Now he makes a lot more than me, I do most of the work with the kids, house, I work some but can focus on spirituality or whatever I want. Neither of us feels like one provided for the other. Both of our parents are still married, pretty much the same equal situation on both sides. We saw relationships more as a partnership, not a transactional, value exchange. This is a male fantasy. (Yes, women have plenty or their own ridiculous fantasies) Most men LOVE to be the hero. Even if you're paying his rent, you gotta have him kill spiders for you or something like that.

My husband is overweight, always has been, I'm in pretty good shape and always have been, and when I get embarrassed about his weight it's always because I'm thinking about what other people think of me. It's always about me. I think that's what gets overlooked. I hate getting comments about how he got a "pretty girl" or I'm out of his league, cause when we got together I had buck teeth and no one knows the circumstances of our relationship or preceding friendship. It sucks to have someone see you as a couple and judge you on superficial appearances, but again, that's always just my own thoughts and insecurities. I think that's what we miss. It always goes back to our own insecurities.

Well I love him so much and so thoroughly and completely, that I don't give a flying fuck about him either. Flying fuck. It's really a beautiful term, I think. A letting go and merging of things together in such a way that it's absolutely weightless, substance less. Yep, it's about time to get off the internet now I think.

It's not called the Law of Attraction for nothing. We all just really want to make each other happy and fulfilled. Cause that's what makes us happy and fulfilled. Because that's really at the core, what we already are.

Yeah, honestly, we're kinda the sexier sex. That's what we love and want to embody, physically and psychologicaly. If there are insecurities in one it breeds insecurity in the other. Everything you judge or criticize is yourself.

SEE! Your mind has no walls whatsoever. This is all you.

There's really no fine line between love and hate. Actually no, maybe it's 5'3".

Ok, so i should just shut up now, but whatever. I think that women actually LOVE to be beautiful, and they LOVE that men love looks. Like, it's just one of life's deeper pleasures. But we just do NOT like the talk about it, the judgement about it, or the noticed absence of good looks. It's a mystery. Leave it at that. You like beauty, you know what you like, cool, just STFU about it and leave the mystery of beauty to be on its own.

Developed people also carefully chose their environments for success, just as Leo is doing. I threw out my own admittedly biased perspective which probably wasn't necessary, but whatever. We have to trust that everyone knows what they really want for themselves. And if they don't, they'll unavoidably attract experiences which give them more clarity toward what they really want.

Be aware of the thoughts, and don't take them seriously as they arise. Just knowing you experience hypochondria rather than believing the fearful thoughts is 99% of the battle. So really, congratulations!!! Also look for youtube videos to help with the subject. It's a common thing that happens to smart people. Focus on what you DO want. Focus on exercise you love doing, healthy foods you love eating. Do yoga, get a massage, pamper your body. Make a vision board, or check out @Nahms dreamboard thread.

How could you even be aware of other people if everyone had their own separate consciousness? You cannot be know something unless it's within consciousness. Just like here and there both exist within consciousness, consciousness is neither here nor there.

I have seen a lot of drop dead gorgeous women in their 60's, 70's, 80's and beyond. Cause it's really about confidence and life force more than anything else. But if people aren't open to see it, they'll miss that. It's like telling Fall or Winter that she isn't as beautiful as the Spring, she most certainly is. I'm not gonna want to be with a man who can't see it also. @Etherial Cat

I'll have you know, Jesus thinks I'm POSITIVELY DELIGHTFUL.

Dude, I don't know if I'm gonna get a skin condition or get in some horrible disfiguring accident two months from now. Or develop an intense all consuming love affair with chocolate cake and become a world famous 300 pound cake chef. Maybe that's my life purpose! Who knows? That's the inherent beauty in life, you never know.

It's really fascinating, and really empowering because once you understand it, you can hack it and create the life of your dreams. Not just by how it looks on the outside but how it feels. Or rather, you already have the life of your dreams!

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-science-success/201208/how-keep-happiness-fading It's the tendency of our minds to return to a set point of happiness, even after something really awful or wonderful happens. Things, people and events don't make us happy or sad, we are susceptible to the contrast. So for example, I win the lottery. I buy my dream car. Someone scratches my dream car. Instead of being thrilled that I won the lottery, I'm now mad my car is scratched. That's how ridiculous our minds are. That's the power of meditation, to go beyond noticing the contrast of things and mistaking our true being for our shallow, fragile states of mind.

Never underestimate the power of hedonic adaptation.

I dunno, but from my perspective if I was single and looking, I'd assume from that that you were more interested in my body than anything else, and since I couldn't honestly in any way guarantee my health or looks, the anxiety and doubt over meeting all that criteria over the long term wouldn't be worth it. I find that anxiety over having to look a certain way for someone else is what destroys confidence, which is the actual root of what we find attractive, and that confidence or self love is the very root of my sexuality, femininity and spirituality. I'd much rather just find someone who immediately finds me attractive, without having to check all these requirement boxes first. But anyway, good luck Leo, I hope you find someone who is your perfect match.