Muhammad Jawad

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Posts posted by Muhammad Jawad

  2. Posted

    30 minutes ago, Khan 0 said:

    This is the ego too. Balance, nice talking, loving is the key. If the other person doesn’t understand you, just say i am sorry but i can not talk to you in this way. But be nice and gentle. Dont scream, yell etc. your mom , dad, wife whoever does that it dont matter. Thats what i do for myself.

    Right. Thanks. :-)

  4. Posted

    8 minutes ago, blankisomeone said:

    Well in that case, the fact that he is your father is just a thought ;)

    Right, well that's a good pointer. But that will lead me to avoid him and that behavior will make him sad and he will that I raised my son through a lot of struggles and now he is young and successful and now he avoids me. I do not want to break his heart that will break my heart as well. 

  5. Posted

    11 minutes ago, Khan 0 said:

    That i the one that gets frustrated is the ego. You have to control it now. Than ride it. It is not real you. When you start to control it you will realize whatever the situation will be is only left as love. Your eyes dont see anything, whatever is in front of you is just a movie. Dont take it seriously, take your popcorn and eat it. Have fun watch the game. It is all you. 

    Right and let them use me as a door mat? 

  6. Posted

    5 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

    No. Setting boundaries no matter how enlightened you are,abuse is not something you tolerate...they treat you like that because you allow it and you are an easy target for their insecures egos to get a short lived satisfaction...you could use it to release emotions but still no abuse or toxic behaviour is allowed...

    That's 100% true. And yes "abuse" is truly the correct word for my situation. My Father makes a lot of fun of me, in front of his colleagues, friends & other family member and he abuses that behavior.

    How do I stop my own father from abusing me? especially in front of others. I always respect him and talk to him politely and I always obey him. But still, he keeps targeting me. 

    How do I help myself? How do I protect myself from this abuse?

    I have told him many times that I do not like it and feel really bad and then he makes fun of me on that topic that I feel bad. and he does not change his behavior. 

    What will you do in that kind of situation?

  7. Posted

    3 minutes ago, blankisomeone said:

    First of all, yes you exist. Hello.

    And real non-duality is something like: I am in YOU. But YOU are NOT in me. So back off!

    Set your proper boundaries and don’t let people make fun of you. You can learn to play along if they’re just bantering. But if it goes to far, set boundaries.

    Personal "I" is just a thought. It's not an actual identity. There is only one awareness and everything is arising and passing in it.

     

    I tried to set boundaries many times but I am not able to set boundaries against my own father.

  8. Posted

    3 hours ago, WelcometoReality said:

    If you don't like that they are doing it then it's probably best to tell them that you don't like it.

    I told them many times, but they don't care and kept doing it. What is the solution in that case?

    3 hours ago, WelcometoReality said:

    We can only theorize about what he/she would do. My guess is that that person would leave such circumstances and find a better one to live his or hers life.

    I do not want to leave my father because now I am young & successful because of him and he is old now. But he makes fun of me all the time in front of others which makes me a lot sad and miserable.

    3 hours ago, WelcometoReality said:

    Just focusing on "I do not exist" is spiritual bypassing, it surpresses feelings. The better thing to do is to see what thought and feeling that come up when these situations come up. Then start to question those thought, are they actually true? Allow the feelings to come up fully and feel them.

    Will that help me to remain equanimous in future situations?

  10. Posted

    4 hours ago, Khan 0 said:

    They are your imagination too. People are emotional robots nothing is insid of them. They don't exist either. If you don't think nothing never happens. When you sleep is your family exist?

    Yes, I understand these things but when negative situations emerge then my ego gets a strong start to react, and my color starts to change, my expressions start to change, a lot of negative feelings start to emerge. And I can not help myself to remain No-Self and become frustrated and sad and I become really miserable. 

  11. Posted

    1 minute ago, Vivaldo said:

    He will not bother 

    If he is enlightened 

    He will shut up... I am making fun of myself

    Hi!

    Thanks a lot for your response.

    What about the arising painful feelings, thoughts, and your image & respect in front of others?

    Should I just let all these phenomena arise and let them pass? And remain equanimous? 

  12. Posted

    Should I allow my family & friends to make fun of me in front of all kinds of people in any kind of situation because, in reality, I do not exist?

    How does a spiritually enlightened person deal with situations like people in his family & friends make fun of him, in front of everyone brutally & torture him emotionally & psychologically? Will he focus on: "I do not exist". Or something else?

  14. Posted

    10 hours ago, axiom said:

    Yes, I completely forgot I was a human. I mean, it’s very hard to describe this stuff. But essentially I discovered that I was never really a human to begin with.

    hmmm. Right

    10 hours ago, axiom said:

    Ego death = complete destruction of your reality and you in that reality. So yeah, I was gone. I was something else entirely. I wasn’t even “I”.

    You mean everything which was not real, just gone.

    10 hours ago, axiom said:

    Yes, it literally felt like thousands of years… but this is difficult to answer.

    In those years did you ever miss your worldly life?

    10 hours ago, axiom said:

    It didn’t take me days to recover use of my arms and legs etc. It took probably a couple of hours (of relative time) to fully regain control, although I was able to wobble around on jelly legs with some level of control after 20 minutes or so. 

    Right

    10 hours ago, axiom said:

    My legs were actually moving without any conscious input whatsoever from me for a while. When I came around I was pacing in the corner of the room. At that point I was watching my human body doing it’s thing, but as a passive observer - not consciously connected to the body at all.

    hmmm.

    10 hours ago, axiom said:

    As far as recreating reality on my return, there were actually three distinct realities it felt like I could have returned to. In one, I was in a hospital bed having tried to commit suicide (this never happened) after a very traumatic breakup (this did happen) ten years ago. In that reality, I was coming around from a coma and a family member was holding my hand. It felt real, but I was very disorientated at this point.

    It could have been too shocking when you faced that reality.

    10 hours ago, axiom said:

    Ultimately the reality I came back to was this one. The one where I’m now typing this :) Maybe I could have ended up somewhere else. I don’t really know. I can’t pinpoint any moment of choosing.

    Welcome Back. Is this the same reality which you left? 

  15. Posted

    14 hours ago, EmptyVase said:

    This sounds like an assumption.

    Yes, That was my assumption but when I was in a panic I couldn't think like that.

    14 hours ago, EmptyVase said:

    Perhaps you could practice relaxing and letting go projections onto reality?

    Right. Ok

    14 hours ago, EmptyVase said:

    emotional scale

    Which emotional scale?

    14 hours ago, EmptyVase said:

    express how projections onto reality, such as the above, feel. If it feels terrible, it can't be the whole truth or the full picture. That feeling tells ya that there's more to it, and that you might inspect and express it.

    How?

  16. Posted

    2 hours ago, axiom said:

    It sounds like it... but hard to say. There are variables to consider.

    Right

    2 hours ago, axiom said:

    So for example, as a 6ft / 185cm male with a very traumatic past (somewhat well integrated these days) who weighs 168 lbs / 76.2 kilos, I experienced profound ego death, truly infinite love (an absolutely terrifying and humbling but also deeply healing experience) and the mandala of "heaven" by taking approx 5.5 grams of cracker-dry Golden Teacher mushrooms on an empty stomach, wearing a blindfold and listening to the ICL psilocybin playlist. I remember distinctly approaching it from the outset with a sort of "take me, I'm ready" mindset. That might have helped a bit too.

    hmmmm

    2 hours ago, axiom said:

    I met millions of other souls... we were all part of the mandala. I became fused with all of them... I became the mandala. I also saw how distinct souls and humans are imagined / created in the mind of God.

    Amazing.

    2 hours ago, axiom said:

    On leaving that place - it really felt like my true home - I was left with a sense of profound sadness. In our relative and finite form we have been specifically designed to forget (i.e. infinity cannot be circumscribed by the finite). It was like saying goodbye to my true family... the source of all love, infinite encouragement and compassion... knowing that amnesia will kick in because I'm not supposed to remember. And it has. I only remember scant details. I remember the feelings more than anything else. But I also know that that place is always there, waiting.

    Wao

    2 hours ago, axiom said:

    I definitely experienced the madness and disorientation on the return.

    What kind of madness?

    2 hours ago, axiom said:

    Actually I was deeply shocked to remember that I was a human being

    You really forgot that you were a human being?

    2 hours ago, axiom said:

    I had been away for what felt like thousands of years.

    Did you really feel that you were away from this world for thousands of years?

    2 hours ago, axiom said:

    It took a while to figure out how to use my arms and legs etc as I had forgotten what they were.

    Like it took you days to figure out how to use your body parts?

     

    Do you ever think or feel that in that trip you actually died physically in that plane of existence?

    And you recreated your reality after thousands of years or you came back to alternate reality after thousands of years? 

  19. Posted

    17 hours ago, Nahm said:

    Your welcome. Has it been noticed yet there aren’t two of you (you & the ego), that there is only the thoughts about there being two of you?

    Yes, I have noticed, realized, and know that I am not two (me & the ego). Yes, these are just thoughts.

    There is only One and there are thoughts in it which create the illusion of the ego due to conditioning.

    17 hours ago, Nahm said:

    Has “the one” (ego) these thoughts on this thread are about ever been seen or heard?

    Sorry, what do you mean by this?

    17 hours ago, Nahm said:

    Can it be understood meditation is a break from this thought activity, or thought story, narration, about how there’s “two of you”? 

    Yes, true.

    17 hours ago, Nahm said:

    Can it also be recognized ‘not fighting & resisting’ is the fighting and resisting, as in, is the very thought activity, which is the story, that there even is or could be, ‘this other you’ or ‘other thing’ which… currently “you” ‘are fighting’… and thus are asking “how to not fight”?

    hmmm. That's true.

    17 hours ago, Nahm said:

    Can it be humbly recognized “the ego” isn’t even your concept so to speak, as in, this thought story didn’t even originate from you. Is it readily recognized, it was learned? Similarly, terror, scared, death, states of consciousness, etc. Is it acknowledged honestly this was all learned (conjecture)?

    Yes, True.

     

    Thanks a lot 

  20. Posted

    18 hours ago, axiom said:

    Not being scared of death in the first place of course helps

    I was not scared of my death because these are the moments that make you believe that you can never die. I knew that I am not dying but I am waking from a dream. I was scared of diminishing of dream permanently and losing everything permanently. But you are right if in the first place if we do not have any fear of losing anything deeply then maybe we can manage through it.

    18 hours ago, axiom said:

    The dosage of mushrooms required to instantiate ego death may often lead to feelings of madness and terror later in the trip. This is pretty normal for mushrooms in particular... they speak to you in an alien language.

    Exactly, It becomes a feeling of madness.

    18 hours ago, axiom said:

    You can pretty much sidestep any of the fighting and terror on the come-up by taking a large enough dose. The come-down is another matter... It might be considered the price of entry. There isn't really any way around feeling some level of shock, madness and disorientation when you remember that you're a human being. This is why trip sitters on mushrooms are a good idea.

    So according to you, I should take a much higher dose?

  21. Posted

    14 hours ago, Inliytened1 said:

    I think what happens with you is perfectly normal.  The ego does not want to die and it will do everything in its power to stay alive.  It will fight tooth and nail against death.  Stop trying to fight that and simply understand that the purpose of the ego is to exist.  But realize it is imaginary. Understanding  is key.  Now relax and let the chips fall where they may.  There will come a time one day, be it via meditation, self inquiry, or psychedelics, where ego death will be seamless.  You will be thrust into Infinity as if instantaneously.  And you will be there.. in God Consciousness.  Ego death will not even have seemed to occur because - in fact it didn't- it is imaginary.   So there will be no bad trip or struggling against death.

    Continue on, it sounds like you are on the right path.  Simply roll with what is.

    Amazing. Thanks a lot :-)

  22. Posted

    16 hours ago, Nahm said:

    Realize they aren’t yours. Understand what conjecture is. Stop adding more. Daily meditation & expression for years, maybe decades, and then take psychedelics.

    Right. Thanks

    16 hours ago, Fearless_Bum said:

    there's is no real you ?.

    hmmm.

    16 hours ago, Fearless_Bum said:

    @Breakingthewall you are only fueling their conditionings and joining them in their self flagellation and masochistic practices which they call "spiritual". 

    You want to talk of how frightening and scary infinity is because you feed on it lol and you don't want to admit it. You also want someone to tell you all the hard work you gotta do and the years it's gonna take because that means you will still be there doing all your hard work. Kinda like an unhealthy guy saying yea I got years to improve myself, eventually I'll be fit. 

    I will not entertain any of that bs, mind you there are legitimate teachers who will play along with this game and that's fine, that's their method of destroying you. 

    I'm not trying to show how smart I am, fucking hilarious dude, I'm trying to convey actually that this is not something that can ever be known, you're probably smarter than me for all I know.

    The OP is going through a tough time and rather than piling more conditions and beliefs about God, infinity, and all that other nonsense I will be straightforward and say nope nothing is there and will be there, no Self, nothing. If you want help through tough times build meaningful relationships, see a psychologist, have a support network, live life as you are now, vent, journal, etc. 

    Good Point.

    BTW How do psychonauts know the difference between temporary ego death & Permanent Physical death?

    15 hours ago, Fearless_Bum said:

    no worries you didn't say anything mean I understand. 

    I'm only saying in this thread that the quest for ego death is just a game you're playing. 

    You talk talk talk, then take a psychedelic and stay quiet, then you tell your friends about it and it becomes "my experience". 

    It's just a game you're playing. And I'm not saying I'm better or that I understand anything at all. 

    Be careful not to take anything I say personally, i really am not intending to attack you or anyone, I'm just being honest with you, and you of course are culture/society. 

    On many points, I can agree with you.  

  25. Posted

    5 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

    Obviously it has never happened that your ego really dissolves, and the infinite that you are is revealed. otherwise you wouldn't say that. the ego are limits, if the limits disappear, infinity is revealed. This is not even remotely an idea or a belief, it is something inconceivable to the mind. infinity is scary because it reveals a truth: "you" do not exist, you are an illusion. what you are is totally impersonal and accepting it takes time. I'm on it

    Amazing