Karmadhi

@Leo Gura Have not you said in your "How to be a man part 2" that authenticiy is precisely what women are attracted to rather than steriotypical macho behavior. That is why you have feminine guys with girlfriends and people wonder how they got together, because the guy was authentic instead of playing a false macho facade.

Personally i have quite high standard when it comes to personality of a girl but not high at all when it comes to appearance. As long as she meets my minimum threashhold of looks i am good (which is not that hard to meet if a girl takes basic care of herself). Therefore i am willing to give a lot of girls a chance on a first date in case her personality ends up being really nice. Such guys are not as rare as you think, just try to find and date such people that give chances to average looking girls. There is a catch though, such guys often are not the most succesful guys with girls that get all the hot girls, but they will treat you well, love you and most importantly give you a chance to show who you are. Most guys are not like this, this is a relatively feminine way of dating and most guys are quite visual. However they do exist, just try to find them.

I have noticed that a lot of people here including Leo tend to basically say that it is a guy's job to approach, to plan the date, to create the connection, to lead, to build the attraction, the intimacy, the rapport, to make sex happen etc. Basically to do EVERYTHING. He also has to take care of himself and have a nice life on the side line so he does not become too clingy. Fair points and i personally agree for the most part. However may i ask what is the job/role of the girl on this whole dating dynamic/world? What is her role? I would like to know. And for the love of god do not write some bullshit answer like "to take care of her looks or to be pretty". Guys and girls both take care of their looks, both have it easier when attractive looking and harder when not attractive looking. These things are gender neutral for the most part.

@Globalcollective Females do. I do not mind working for things that are not basic needs. Meditation, life purpose and self actualization. Even things like money, success and social skills are cool. Not basic needs though.

@aurum You are trying quite hard to install a limiting belief in me like : "You cannot talk to girls by yourself, you need someone with you". I will do it solo if i want and so be it.

So a guy that is not into pickup is lame? That is quite a mature comment coming from you Leo...

That is totally fine. However there is no way i am spending dozens of hours on making friends i do not like just to get sex. I would rather hit on girls during that time. If i want to make friends just to get laid i can just do social circle, works much better. To me the whole point of pick up is to be self reliant about your sex life, kinda like being financially independent. Because of cancel culture, butthurt feminists and puas acting like juvenille douchebags online.

Then why so many guys get friendzoned by not making moves relative to girls getting friendzoned by not making moves? Yes and then infinite friendzones and rejections on my way :). I used to think like you said and got a dick in my mouth (metaphorically). Totally agreed however i feel like the base of your needs should be effortless. Then you can focus your effort into things like life purpose, spirituality, enlinghtement, self-actualization etc. Spending most of your time focusing on things like food, sex, shelter etc is simple poverty.

@Flowerfaeiry When i ask role of females i mean a thing that females specifically do. All you wrote applies for guys also. So for example guys approach-girls do not, guys ask on dates- girls do not. So stuff that a girl does but a guy does not.

@Chew211 A high quality girl can also find a guy super easy. High quality people have the ability to do so, it is not a gender thing. Why would a 40 year old women still be unmarried? She can easily get married in her 20s, early 30s and create a family. That is how family functioned through all of human history. Even a guy should be married by 40 (if he actually wants to get married). That applies for both genders.

@aurum Well my guy friends either have girlfriends, are not interested in pickup or do not enjoy going to bars/clubs. Solutions (outside going solo ofc)?

@Leo Gura My friends do not like going to clubs or have partners. Therefore i am required to go solo. Yes it is hard but grows you the most i think. I tried it once (kinda) and it was fucking hard but i enjoyed it in a strange way. I do not tend to vibe well at all with party animals and therefore it is more convienent for me to just go out alone than to spend dozens of hours befriending people i do not like and kissing their ass just to get them as a wingman. Personal choice i guess.

@somegirl I would agree, that is all i could think off too. I think these stupid gender roles need to stop. Girl can approach too, girl can make things happen too, girl can create chemistry and connection too. "It is a guy's job to do that" is quite sexist and limited statement.

Some girls are just very very paranoid, nothing you can do about it. I think most of them are not, you just got unlucky. Do not think much about it. I have talked with a lot of girls and i will tell you what the biggest red flags are for a guy when talking to a girl in the street (im not saying you did or do these things, just highlighting them for you). These are the things i have been told that creep out girls the most. 1. Touching her from the start in a creepy way- Huge huge red flag if you do it on the street, it really creeps girls out. If you want to get better at touching then go on a club or bar where touching girls asap is perfectly fine . By far the biggest thing that creeps girls out is a guy that starts touching them asap in weird creepy ways on the street. Very few can pull it off well. 2. Not displaying yourself properly- Meaning not dressing well, grooming well etc. Can make you look like a heroin addict or homeless person. 3. Talking in a creepy tone or catcalling- Self explanatory. 4. Asking about personal information without building much rapport- So things like phone numbers, relationship status, instagram etc. If you barely talked to a girl and ask her for these things it could creep her out. Asking them after they feel somewhat comfortable with you is the way you should do it. 5. Not knowing when to take no for an answer aka insisting a lot - You should definetly be a bit assertive and not give up from the start, but if you get a clear no and you keep insisting it can be super scary for the girl. Way to do it- Talk during the day prefarably on a busy place, be well dressed, keep bit of distance (at least at the start), approach from the front or side (not back), SMILE, make jokes, build some rapport before asking for personal information and if it does not work out then thank her for her time and go on without getting angry or insulting her).

@Preety_India For guys- Nope For girls- Yes if you have natural good curves. So a girl that is naturally curvy (ass and tits) then you can look really hot if you diet down your weight to a good healthy level. If a girl is naturally skinny then she will have the slim look. Some guys like that but imo having a fit toned body is super hot in a girl. Therefore unless you are genetically gifted with good curves you would have to do some gym to look your best. You do not need to be hardcore at it tbh just 2-3 times per week for 6-12 months. For a girl the worst thing is to be overweight, being too skinny or just normal weight without curves is much better than being overweight.

Do not forget to take care of your body also. The bare minimum should be not to be overweight or extremly skinny. If you want to maximize it then you can get a fit body that looks nice. You can easily do this in 1-2 years of workout out. The confidence it will give you is quite nice and it also conditions you internally. If you combine good style with a good body you will stand out a lot from most guys who are too lazy to workout or even if they do a bit, do not wear nice clothes on top. I am tired of guys i know tell me they re gonna start working out, do it 1 month then quit. I cannot even take them seriously anymore, so lazy and always finding excuses. Now i know how Leo feels like when he reads 50 excuses on why people cant do pick up, i get 50 excuses about "why i cannot work out this week".

Feminism as a concept is great and necessary however the way it is being implemented is quite problematic. Instead of bringing feminine values into the extremly masculine world it is just making females act like men and guys act like wimps. Expectations of feminism: A society where art, beauty, kindness is equally important to economy, success and achievements . This would be a true equal society. Reality: Calling people sexist for saying genders have differences. The world these days is extremly masculine and masculine values are respected and desired by everyone and feminine values are disregarded. This needs to change. Femininity and masculinity are not just about male and female, they are much more. Some feminine aspects: spirituality, intuition, emotions, art etc. THIS IS TRUE FEMINISM. This is what should be pushed these days in our world. Not the garbage we get these days trying to make guys and girls equal and calling people sexists if they mention the slightless gender difference. It is even worse, it is just making females act like man. If Leo said that females are more attracted to personality and guys to looks he would get probably attacked by females calling him sexist and how genders are all the same etc (oh wait this has already happened). The dumbest most twisted versions of feminism are what is becoming popular instead of the true healthy core of it. Making males and females equal does you little good when society is dominated by the masculine interpretation of the world, where masculine version of a good life is what matters only.

@somegirl You can marry someone when you are at your sexual peak (pre 35) and stay loyal to him and not divorce him. This is how marriage worked for most of human history. In my home country usually females marry around 25-30 and then they stay with that person all their lives. Learning how to be feminine, good in bed and taking care of yourself will assure you loyalty from the guy and him not cheating on you. It is quite simple tbh but most females do not do that and just want to have fun until 40 and then complain that no guys wants them. 75 percent of divorces are filed by women, meaning most of the times she is the one that wants the marriage to end. Maybe learn to be more tolerate and good communicator ? Maybe pick a partner that is mature and developed instead of some rich prick or jerk? Maybe learn how relationships work and do personal development work? Value in a girl is not just looks, it is all the things i wrote above. Become high value woman and guys will not cheat with you, especially the more standard guy who is not a millionare or a player. You can happy with them too.

@Leo Gura You surely have not interacted with a lot of cultures have you? Half the world does not have sex before marriage (just saying). It is really relative depending on your values and where you live. Stage blue will not have sex before some sort of commitment. And half the world is stage blue. Most girls are not Las Vegas club girls that have sex at the drop of a dime. I live in an international campus and have heard all sorts of shit. Try to have this no commitment before attitude with rural religious american girls. Your attitude is right if you are talking about a developed stage orange or higher society with complete sexual liberation. Las Vegas and California where you have lived are such hence your opinions. Go to India and this narrative gets blown out the window for example. Since this is a forumn for people from all the world, it is not a good thing to withhold such views as an absolute. It is very culture dependent. Of course you can still manage to have casual sex with women from blue countries, but it is extremly difficult and not ordinary. It is not the norm and few girls would do it. Because it hurst her survival agenda a lot.

@Harlen Kelly LOL. Your logic is as follows: Pizza is a high quality food because that is what people like to eat compared to kale that nobody wants to eat. Therefore pizza is a higher quality food than kale. High quality is what is good for you in teh long run, not what stimulates your ape chimp brain in the short run. That is pure lack of wisdom and being stupid. Only a fool would call pizza a high quality food. If you want to be fool be my guest but do not complain when that foolishness bites you in the ass (females complain about abusive boyfriends or guys complain about gold diggers). Now unfortunately most people are really foolish and ape brain dominated so i do understand that such people will be attractive. However calling them high quality to me is as calling pizza a high quality food just because people like it since it stimulates their ape brains.

@Illusory Self Dude you already get dates. The whole point of approaching girls is to get dates and you do not need to do that. Consider yourself lucky you do not have to go through that shit. Most guys would kill if they could do that. You just need more dating experience. You really think approaching is any easier? It is actually MUCH harder than a date. On a date the girl already has decided she would have sex with you, all you need is to not screw it up. Just try to get more experience. Also if you are as good looking to be able to get online dates with hotties then you do not even need to approach much. Girls will give you indicators of interests and you can just talk to them and they will be super receptive. Or just be social, meet people and girls will try to get your attention and even can ask you out (or say yes fast if you suggest it). Getting laid for you is really really easy compared to most guys, use your gift well and stud hard. Now if you want to approach as a self deveopment mission then definetly do so. It really improves your social skills and is an emotional workout (just like gym is a body workout). There are definetly things to be learned. Yesterday i did a solo night out and boy was it hard haha (rewarding too kinda). So if you want to do that then i would encourage you to. HOWEVER, it is NOT necessary for you to get laid. See it as a self improvment thing rather than a "get sex" thing. Wish you the best.

@Leo Gura Define quality guy. I feel like you call players quality guys or something. A kind, caring, honest, trustworthy, intelligent person with healthy boundaries and self respect is a quality guy. Charisma, charm, confidence and assertivness do not make someone a quality guy. Neither do muscles, good looks, money or social status. What matters is integrity, how he treats you not the superficial stuff i wrote above. Bottom line: A guy with personality traits that could potentially make him abusive is not a quality good. Just like a hot girl with nice body and face is not a quality girl either. Character is what matters. Stop being so shallow plz. We are more than bullshit survival agendas from pre historic times.

@fortifyacacia3 What matters are making society more unitive, ignore male and female stuff. This is about energy and values, gender irrelevant. When you make empathy just as important as success, intuition as important as logic and art as important as science then we can talk. This is what matters.

@JosephKnecht Maybe i am doing that and also sharing my thoughts here? Maybe you can grow while critizing in a construstrive way? Do not be so limited, both can come hand in hand. I did not call anything bad per say, just saying that it is focusing on not the important core things. A lot of opportunity being wasted on irrelevant things like who should cook and drive in a couple.

@Illusory Self LOL man if you are good looking you do not even need to approach. Just take some good pictures of yourself, open a dating app account and you will get plenty of sex from that. When you are good looking you already create attraction on girls based on that so in your case you should work towards how to manage a date, how to set up a date and how to close. Basically how not to screw up what you already got with the girl (her attracted to you).