PurpleTree

yea thank you @undeather some of those things you recommend i've already done (and more), some i can still do i'm also back on a low lectin diet which is really restricting and time consuming, had cheat meals yesterday and today though i think i'm just extremely sensitive to many things, many things cause anxiety irritability etc. for example yesterday and the day before i took a supplement with curcumin as an anti inflammatory, it also had d3 and vitC i was really irritable those days but i already took it because i didn't feel good in the first place but then i thought it might have been the d3 in the supplement which made me feel even more irritable, because i've had anxiety etc. before from taking a d3 supp, and i've been down the reddit rabbit holes of d3, k2 etc. etc. feel like i'm going in cycles with this stuff truly a needle in the haystack but let's see how it goes

weed, sneakers, techno parties alcohol is something that i don't really crave but because of social anxiety etc. i keep going back to it

i feel like i'm starting to feel a bit weird if i don't ejaculate for over about 10 days so nope not me

it's just not a particular interest of me so i'll often skip it especially in these "toxic" times if once in a blue moon i'm in the mood to listen to political commentary or listen to opinions on covid i'll search for those types of videos/talks/podcasts etc.

yea personally i don't really enjoy to hear Leo's view on politics, covid etc. but it's his choice to get involved in that stuff, either way it's fine

American politics are weird Bush -> continues what his father started, starts wars based on lies, 100 thousands or millions die, refugee crisis in the middle east and Europe Obama-> "Yes we can" "Change" fake slogan, nothing really changed, the people got fed up, many voted for Trump Dems turn against Bernie because there might have been actually some change there who's next? Trump->mission "decoupling of China" starts they needed a hate-able guy in office to push this through and some other stuff who's next? Old Joe Who's next? Keanu Reeves?

One country for people who want more social institutions and taxes, one country for people who want less taxes. One country for anti-vaxxers, one country for people who want everybody vaccinated. One country for people who want to be inclusive for foreigner etc. one country for people who want less immigration etc. One country for leftists, one country for right wingers. etc. And then when you change your mindset enough you could just move to the other country and live happily there. Obviously this is kind of simpleton, childish thinking but wouldn't it be nice? Actually maybe you'd need 3 countries, one for "leftists" one for "rightists" and one for the centre who're fed up with both other sides.

ok this is atrocious, i was thinking about testing normal medication and so on. fauci is looking worse than mengele out here.

i just say no i'm not crying, something flew into my eyes, dumb insect

only if she's hot and funny hihi hihi hihi

well obviously it's f'd up what they do to rats and also primates etc. generally i'd like it to stop but then let's say you have a child or a sibling who has a disease which can be cured because of animal testing/experiments then you'd probably be very thankful for said medication/treatment i guess we're stuck with it also i eat meat

it was a mess imo a lot of anger and i didn't know where to put it, a lot of it i suppressed or directed towards myself then i started to (self) medicate i'm still recovering from that time and i'm well into my 30s

Does it include people who let's say died from cancer while having covid. I always hear that argument made.

that's a reason that'd make astrology less true imo that different cultures have different astrology systems which mean different things and different outcomes also the same with numerology

That's what he said (Adolf, Joseph and Mao etc.)

i think some people clearly know that it's bs while others clearly know that it's true i'm on the fence though

social anxiety

i'm such a capricorn, pisces, scorpio lol don't know if i believe there's really truth to it or not

thanks @Michael569 @undeather i have checked my thyroid function and the tests came back ok, it's already like 4 or so yrs back, maybe i can still find the email with the numbers and i don't really check my blood pressure but whenever someone checks it they usually say it's low or very low, my mom has a blood pressure check device, i'll check it

we live in the best of times. change my mind

for example what about somebody like a stalker though. they seem to truly desire the person they're stalking, they're imagining themselves with that person all day everyday, they invest a lot of time, feelings and so on. but it doesn't seem to work for them.

that's what i want deluded perfect bliss enlightenment

Ok some more info so i often had a sensitive gut as a child even, when i felt anger, stress or fear it's often the strongest in the gut. Don't get diarrhea etc. often it's just an uncomfortable feeling in the gut. Which also often keeps me awake. and sometimes it can be from something i ate or from stress. I'm kind of always tired and battle with anxiety and irritability, but my days are completely different like one day i'm mostly fine (still kind of tired though) and the next day i just feel extremely tired, brain fog and very uncomfortable (more anxiety, mostly social etc.) so because of that fact i kind of get a bit obsessed with food. Because i think maybe it's something that i ate yesterday, or the days before that's causing more anxiety and fatigue in this moment etc. (less feel good hormones) If i had to guess i'd say it's something with the gut micro biome out of whack that they don't produce enough serotonin, dopamine etc. everyday. Or an inflammation thing. it could also be something else, the thing is the placebo/nocebo is also really strong so it's hard to tell, sometimes i cut out some food and feel better instantly but then a bit later (or days) i'm again fatigued and more anxious. about the gut, it's more in the lower gut in the intestines, colon i guess. recently (in the last few yrs) i've done a gastroscopy and a colonoscopy, the doc said it's mostly fine. i've also done a sibo test, but they only test for one variant here. The doc said those things are really hard to see and it could be ibs, gut micro biome out of whack etc. On keto (and carnivore) for example i felt less stressed, anxious etc. for sure but then after a month my sleep got worse and worse and i started to feel worse in general. Some other symptoms: Acne, didn't really have that but i started to having it more since like probably about 5 yrs. Comes and goes, different everyday/week Dandruff: had that since i was about 13 i think, sometimes a lot stronger and sometimes almost gone. Not sure if that has anything to do with anything but sometimes i think it's all tied together. There are many "weird" rabbit holes one can go down with those things like nutrition and (mental) health. For example i'm pretty sure i have an issue with acetylcholine like it makes me feel worse easily. Seems like "many" people on reddit do have such an issue. They often don't react great to choline supplements and even fish oil, it causes brain foggy feelings in some. So it's easy to get lost in that stuff. Still kind of interesting though.

I've heard many "spiritual teachers" say that they don't really fear anything and don't have fear or anxiety. Some say that ultimately everything comes down to a fear of death and if that fear is overcome the others kind of drop away too. And that'd actually be my goal too to get rid of so much useless anxiety