SamC

Yeah I thought so aswell. I was angry at him at first but I think he is onto something. I try to manipulate reality instead of being in reality.

Yeah but he still might be on to something. Being might be the new understanding

Amen. Yeah, I think I got it. Understanding becomes a distraction to being. My existsntial crisis was a dark night of the soul kind of deal I Think. My identity and meaning making got shredded. It's still kinda scary though

Yeah conciosness

Yeah I think I get it now. Conciousness is the ultimate understanding. When I " understand" I really don't understand because it doesn't take to account " reality " as a whole. It's kinda like the problem with science in some weird way. What about my personality of being a philosopher though? I know you also are like that.. is that based on fear ( ego) or just authentic personality preferences? Is that an expression of who you are or is it just Ego? I mean Echart and Sadgurhu doesn't seem to be like you in that sense. Why is that? @Leo Gura

Leo often says that meditation and yoga for example has the potential to completely transform our lives. By engaging in these spiritualy purifying processes he for example argues that we will become more peaceful, more conscious and less needy ( attached) to outcome. Here is the problem though, and its here where I need your help. I have meditated everyday for over a year now and it have changed my life completly. Today however I come to notice that the reasons why I am doing it ( spiritual purification) is not mainly for awaking but to avoid anxiety ( control behaviour) and become more comfortable with myself ( and less needy) to then be able to get girls. Supriseingly it kinda has worked, I'm getting closer. Now I wanna continue with this approach together with starting kriya yoga ( + self compassion which I already, + meditation which I already do) to become even more comfortable with my self by shredding my ego and than get girls). Note that I am at the same time super interested in conciousness work, but the question is, will I shoot myself in the foot? Am I ready for hardcore awakening work when I am at the same time so desperate and just want sex? I might be able to get both, thats what I hope, but is this a valid strategy, really? Will it do more harm than good? Is my ego really there yet? In Leo's last episode he said, exhaust the shit out of every stage, don't rush! But what about using spiritual purification to than be able to exhaust the shit out of every stage and than grow even more? Thanks for your help.

What the fuck does that even mean ???. So amazing. Did you feel his presense? Was It a special experience in that sense?

Thanks

???

Not sure where to put this. I am relatively stable emotionally ( and with that I mean, I don't have spells of depression or deep feelings of hopelessness ect - that often at all. In fact, Most days I feel quite good... but, I hate myself. I really don't like myself. I'm getting more and more aware of this - this is the reason why I secretly want others fail and so on and so forth.. because I am so scared that I myself am not good enough. I don't feel worthy at all - and right now I am hating myself for hating myself cause I don't want to hate myself. This is the reason for my neediness, my perfectionism and low self esteem, and also the reason why I have a scarcity mindset with girls - cause I dont feel worthy to even be in a relationship. I am getting a lot better, I can feel it.. I am more aware of it and, I am working through it slowly with daily meditation and self compassion but what more? What would be your recommended solutions for self hatred/ self criticism? Would love your help. (

I talked to a psychologist. He said like you. Thanks for your help

Thanks for the tips - I really appreciate it?

I should Ah, like leos how to contemplate using a journal video I don't, it's just a story aswell. I don't know if I know or not know the truth. I don't know anything really. Ahh - I don't know the truth, therefor I don't know what is the truth and what is not... so maybe I know the truth but I don't know that it is the truth. What the fuck is this universe even lmao, it's so weird, I love it. Yeah, true cause the truth is relative ( I think atleast) so my truth is the present moment no matter what ( again maybe, Idk).

I appreciate your support man. I'm in a ego backlash so I needed it. You give hope I don't know what the truth is. All I know is that I don't see is anything the way it is.

Haha love it man. Yeah for sure - I should strive towards peace of mind, aceptance and self love. There is no need to do anything at all, it's fine whatever happens.. except it's not for my ego. That's the reason I ( my ego) want to change by doing X thing. I understand logically but not emotionally that it won't fullfill me. In order to achieve peace of mind one has to realize it. I can pretend that I see it, live by it and bow down to it but it's not in my present experience. I am still in Maya - so if I were to try I would try to ape the truth, which wouldn't work, cause I don't know the truth. That said, I can learn/ become directly conscious that I am enough, that everything is perfect as it is - but untill then, I don't know the truth. That's why we need to help ourselfves to see through the bullshit. That said - self love in my case the way to go, not success necessarily. The interesting part however is how to get to that place. ( not because I am not there yet, but because I am not aware of the fact that I am okey yet). You can't tell a neurotic/ depressed person to stop being neurotic unfortunately - it won't help, they have to see it themselves. Thanks for your long post though, and I understand, my cup is already full, I should focus on loving myself (:

Yeah for sure, it is even harder to get in one with a girl. Lmao Yeah I have done that but I am thinking if I should do it again. I am doing a lot of meditation and self compassion ( + breathwork) which kind of offers the same results long term. Maybe, I don't know If that's true or false. I think there good be a point to experience it and then see that I don't need it from someone else than myself. Yeah my mum was and is good at it. My dad has low self esteem and perfectionism. That's where it all comes from.

I disagree but I understand what you mean. It's the paradox of self help and self love. Yeah, they are doing fine most people ( aka surviving) but most are miserable inside. Besides that a lot of self help is done to experience more self love. Self help is good, be careful to not fall into a strawman where it's black and white. To much is bad, to little is also not good. It's all context to the situation. Self help + self love + balance is the best

Amen to that. You're wise man, I like your way of looking at these things. That's why I followed you just now Thanks for your help (:

I sometimes realize this, but it doesn't last that long. Becoming more concious is in other words the way to go - not because I have to become conscious in order to be peaceful, but realize that I am always at peace no matter what happens. Self help is good though, the only thing is I need to pull more towards self love/ acceptance. Life is a great balancing act

Thanks for this, interesting how you describe that the brain starts caring after a while. It makes sense. Wow Yes, that's exactly right, thanks for your help man!

Wow, of corse. I thought about including myself but it felt egotistical. It really shows my problem, I don't wanna be egotistical in putting my own needs before someone's else. I am aware of what I should do, but I still don't wanna do it cause I care what people think. Thanks for that bro, cheers. It really got me thinking aswell.

Yeah I know. This self hatred is a social conditioning from my dad. It's really hard to do though, but something I need to do. Do you know any good ways to do this or is it just something to visualize?

Yeah, I am. It's super challenging though cause it takes time. I have always hated myself, it's just that I see the iceberg now more clearly because I am more aware. Ego backlashes is an interesting thing aswell lmao 1: 5meo - leo, aka Leo gura ((; 2: Sadguhuru 3: Jeff cavaliere ( atleanx) ( besides that, my parents and closest friends, I'm 19)

Thanks for your response bro. I appreciate you. Yeah I 100% agree. Will try it for an extended period of time!

Not nearly enough. In fact - I feel like a victim, like that it's impossible to even change that voice. I know it's bullshit, but I think that's the reason why I haven't done it. This is the biggest thing I think. I am but I am getting better at being authentic day by day. I have started to set boundaries and stand up for myself more the last couple of months. It's hard though but It's getting better.