SamC

Not nearly enough. In fact - I feel like a victim, like that it's impossible to even change that voice. I know it's bullshit, but I think that's the reason why I haven't done it. This is the biggest thing I think. I am but I am getting better at being authentic day by day. I have started to set boundaries and stand up for myself more the last couple of months. It's hard though but It's getting better.

It's hard af, but that's a given in this work. Thanks for the words of encouragement bro?

This seems so weird to me, Idk why..-but I will try it! I don't know shit, so maybe this is a life savior. What's the theory behind it? What's your experience with it? I will try it even if it isn't any theory btw, I am simply curious.

Yup, limiting beliefs is a big one. Interesting with positive affirmations. I am sceptical about them to be honest, but I am really openminded to try. Have you been helped by them? ( I will try it regardless, just curios about your experience with them).

Thanks for your tips. I will start to read????

Neediness = A big inseceure ego which desperetly needs something. This, from what I have been able to understand is when there is a need, that the narcisitic ego thinks it needs desperetly. It honestly becomes like an addiction to X thing beaucse the ego feels like it needs to build itself up to be secure. ( because than the ideal identify doesn't feel as threatened) Neediness could therefor be considered as a scarcity mindset, due to fear of emptyness ( and also fomo, aka fear of missing out, cause that leads to emptiness because the need is not getting meet if it's not getting X.) This because the ego feels like it is not enough or need something to feel secaure. Neediness is in other words a defense mekanism to be able to avoid emptyness, cause it feels like it is not fullfilled on it's own. Furthur more, Neediness, obsession, OCD and perfektionism go hand in hand. Neediness It's all about trying to manipulate and control the environment to avoid not getting the thing or the outcome, that the ego needs to feel secure.

Tell us about all your habits ( aka mundane life)

It's called bullshit Tell that to the Simps, it's not how It neccerly works. If the guy is super low quality -he will get deep love through the friendzone. Cause you can have deep love for the guy friend who you rejected right? I mean true love is just about connection (;

We are not talking about friendships or unconditional love for people. We are taking about " real deep love" that leads to a romance that makes deep real love possible. Connection in the sense," I love this guy so much, I wanna spend my whole life with him" is not unconditional love. If you feel like that it's because he can give VALUE to you and your life ( security, he loves you like you are, honesty + some sort of attractive qualitys ( looks, status, humor ect). Any shy nerd guy can give you the first, but you want both. Why? because you want to survive.

This is exactly what I mean..girls don't understand guys stuggles. If a guy is not valueble, no " true love" can exsist. That's why PAU exists, because guys who is not high value needs to man the fuck up and take responsaibility for their future. It's not some sort of trancending love why you like a guy, it is because of the feelings a high quality guy gives you. You're the one that is in a paradigm lock - attraction creates because of survival aspects, not "true love". That's not a perspective, that is the truth.

True. Of corse a lot of guys struggle to see it - that's true with being able to see anything as it is in the world. Your point is that it is all self biases and victimhood that creates this dynamic of selfishness from both sides. Yeah it might be the case, but on the other hand, woman don't know what they are attracted too while guys do. Guys are more visual and logical and girls more emotional. Guys know what gets them attracted, girls don't. This maybe * big maybe* means that guys are able to understand the challenges that girls face logically better, because they see all the girls their are not attracted to, cause they know what they want and not want ( being able to empathize better if they really fucking try) Woman are more emotional and don't know this, and that's maybe why they struggle more. Cause the attraction is in a sense even more subconscious and theirfor they don't see how hard attraction can be for a low value guy, cause they don't know what it takes( but guys understand that ugly woman have it super hard logically).. Maybe in other words woman is not to designed to be able to empathise to the problems men face in attraction... Or maybe I am totaly wrong and it's all biases, I am open to both possibilities. What do you think Leo?@Leo Gura

Everytime I bring up the challenges for guys in daiting to my female friends, they are unable to understand my point of view. They either say I am wrong, that it is the woman that is always is the one that is left or that I am participating in this egoistic game when I explain to them how to attract a female. They can't understand that guys struggle too, they only see the guy they are in love with but leave them. My question is therefor, why is that woman seems to be blind to the the challenges that guys face? Is it because woman haven't learned to sympathize to the guys that struggle with this or are they stuck in there own self biases? Could it be that It even is biological and if so - is it ever possible for a woman to learn to step out from her perspective and into a man's perspective? What do you think? *** NOTE **** I am not saying men are victims to womans lack of understanding at all, it is what it is. How Attraction and the interaction between the sexes works, is fine. All I am wondering is, if it's ever possible for females to understand men's struggles, or if its by design impossible. @Leo Gura

Yeah it might be the case. Sometimes it feels like they struggle even more though but maybe not. It might be my biases, that's fucking my perception big time and if that's the case, its fine. It's like they don't understand the game of attraction and theirfor not the struggle cause they don't understand what attracts them themselves. I understand what attracts me... hot girls and because that's more logical I maybe be able to understand the struggles better. ** big maybe** Idk

Yeah, I totally get it. I don't expect them too, I am simply trying to understand why that is, and I think it's because they simple don't give a fuck. The question is if they are able to see it if they wanted too, or if it's impossible because of biology? It seems like they just can't step into the shoes of a man, but a man can do it easier for them. It feels like it, but it might be wrong. I might be deluded, men may struggle just as hard to do it, I am still figuring it out.

Yeah for sure. I buy that. At First I thought girls struggle to see the problems guy's face because they just can't, because it's biologically impossible for them but I think it more as to do with self biases, like my own inability to see it. ( cause we live in two different worlds) I still feel like guys understand their world better tough.. like I get it. Rape, sexual abuse, fear, heartbroken from players ect.. In many cases its must be a lot lot lot worse. Maybe there is some glinpse of truth towards that they have a harder time seeing its, but if that's the case it's not the whole truth, you know what I Mean? Or maybe I am deluded af, it's okey either way. If I look withing myself, I see that I project my unconcious victim mentality and that's why I even wrote this thread. That said, it still feel like I atleast got a point, in all the selfishness and biases... or maybe not, what do you think Leo? @Leo Gura

Fair, but there are concious woman who is not masculine at all who can understand men's problem. They don't have to be masculine to understand it - just be able to take on multiple perspectives. For sure, but that doesn't mean they hate men. Quite the opposite - they as you said only hang out with him ( if the relationship is codependent). Yeah of corse, there is a lot of single woman out there. I don't know if that means that they struggle with men though. Yeah, it can if it's unhealthy, but a lot hang out with friends aswell.

Lmao, I always read " pretty India". Got it, have a nice day preety(:

For sure I don't think so. The most concious ones may be able to understand. Maybe but I am not sure still. This I don't buy though. Most girls love their boyfriends and have no problem with men. We wanna hang out with our palls, just like they like to hang out with their girl gang gang ((;

I have read it all Haha. Yup I agree, but it's *not a problem* and the nature is not to blame. The design is perfect just as it is. It's just not perfect for our egos ((; Nice discussion Pretty India, love it. Learned a lot.

Love this. Nice perspective.. but to be fair, in order to get to Echart Tollie or sadhguru conciousness you probably would not go about all these love relationship bullshit, and it wouldn't be the same cause no one needs anything from anyone. What I meant by society is more, it's not someone's fault ( or we are the victims). The fact is however that ass long as we are driven to survive and as long if we are in these loop, we will always have biases. Love is ego, and when the ego is transcended we experience Love with a CAPITAL L aka infinite LOVE.

The only difference is that men can whine about it? common, that´s not to put it in a higher perspective. That´s downplaying the struggle that guys face. I can tell that you still think it´s impossible that a guy can have it harder or even as hard as a woman and I get it, its fine. That´s why we need more empathy in the world, for everyone - cause everyone struggles and feels like victims sometimes. We all feel hurt, and I understand your pain regarding this issue - that you´re angry and that feel like you're a victim of men´s selfish and unconscious behavior. I encourage you to do the same if you haven´t already and try to deepen your understanding for the guys that struggle with stuff on the other side of the coin as well - cause a lot of guys to feel deeply misunderstood regarding the problems that they face, just like you. It´s not your responsibility, Men are not victims of this at all, but I think that love and empathy towards men´s struggles in this case ( and of course in woman's case as well) won´t be bad for anyone. Deeper understanding and higher picture thinking is the foundation for a solution, for all the problems we face in society, including this one. So now as an exercise , vizualise about being a low value guy yourself, put yourself in the shoes of a shy, insecerue INCEL who never have had sex in his entire life. Think of yourself being rejected by a girl because youré not confident enough. Can you do it? Can you see it? have you done it? GOOD. THIS is the reality for a lot, and I mean a lot of guys. The only question is, can girls see it? IDK, I'm still researching it, lmao. p.s Íts not a competition about who has got it worse, we all suffer from our own " biggest problems". What we all should strive to, is to be able to take on more perspectives, to understand all struggles better, (:

well, its not mainly that. girls like confident guys and its fine. it´s not the societys fault. males do the chasing and females are the selective ones. Its a mammal thing apparently. its true though, that girls are to busy to care about themselves, I mean after all - they need to find a high quality mate. It´s nature, its biologi -- It´s PSYCHOLOGY. Not bad nor good - just a feature of the design we call life and survival.

I read your post about pick up earlier today. I understand that you feel misunderstood by a lot of guys, that you feel frustrated, and that you can´t find a high-quality guy who doesn´t leave you or whatever, Its a real struggle.. I get it, its hard af. I have seen a lot of my female friends suffer. Many of them feel misunderstood, used, and manipulated for sex. I encourage you to read my reply, to the answer. Yeah, a lot of girls struggle and I am not saying you or anyone aren´t, but its a different kind of struggle. almost the opposite problem actually, The question is, however, do you see that opposite problem that guys struggle with? Is it possible for a woman to see it? And if not, why is that? (; I'm not saying its bad or that you should. I am simply interested if you and other girls can, cause if not - that's interesting af ((;

Thanks for the share!

Exactly! But why is it so? Like wtf, I for sure know what I like lmao. Girls are more EMOTIONAL and guys are VISUAL... but if that's the case wouldn't girls be able to understand us better than we can understand them? From my experience it is the opposite. Never ask a girl about guy problems and definitely don't ask them about how to attract a girl. They don't have a clue.