SamC

@Surfingthewave ??? right on the nail. I did a self hypnosis earlier this morning and realized that I haven't allowed my inner child to be the one who he is. That's because of my enmeshment trauma. What I am is everything I want to be. The only problem is that I have denied myself to be that person because I have thought that that person isn't valued and loved. I think I finally start to get how one is oneself. My value is just that I deserve be and have all that I want to have, sinply because I am that unique self expression of love and energy. That in itself makes me justified to be who I am. Love <3

@seeking_brilliance

This!??? may I ask, how long did it take for you to find your authentic self after you noticed that you didn't exsist? Lol

What do you do when you don't have to do anything?@Sandy6

Brake up. I know it's hard but the longer you stay the more you will suffer.

Focus on one thing at a time bro. That's the key. Also take Leo's Life purpose course to develop your vision. If I were you I would start with the LP course and than try to do 1 vid everyday where you take notes and do all the exercises. If you do that, you will develop a compelling vision for your future and can than start to chip away at it. Remember though - 1 thing at a time. Focus. You.got.this

@Preety_India Yeah and one of the stubborn patterns is that there is something wrong with me and that I need to get fixed. I am trying to fix myself in order to become someone who is worthy which basically is = enmeshment trauma pattern in action. One way to heal is to stop trying to fix myself. There is nothing wrong with me.

???????? I will. It seems a bit odd when I look around though becuase I don't think I am that fucked up. In one way I think the" problem" is that I even belive that I have a problem. What do you say about this statement?@Preety_India

Thanks a ton man! I really appreciate the recomended recorses

@Hermaeus Mora Yes. Requisite variety on page 7. It's a must watch

Yup that's what I do aswell. Thank you! Where do I find the journal? I have no idea where it is. What else did you do to find your authentic self? Any tips and suggestions?

This is exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks man!@ivankiss

Well said

So apparently there is a term for a person who is super narcissistic but at the same time higly sensitive ( empathetic) The hypersensitive narcissist. Dun dun duuuuuuun I didn't know this existed untill very recently when I stumbled on the term. That's why I am sharing it; cause I know a lot of my people pleaser gals and girls would benefit from hearing it and chanses are, you won't find it yourself. Here are some common signs: 1 - Subconcious gaslighting. They always deny your experience/ opinion/ feeling and project the problem on to you. This happens not because they want to hurt you neccerly, but because they use projection to avoid the shame of seeing the problem within themselves. 2 - Hypersensitive to criticism. This goes hand In hand with the first point. They can't handle any form of criticism that doesn't fit with their desired self image/ view of the world. Projection is used, and it will always, always according to them be you that needs to change. 3: Intense rage outbursts and feeling of resentment towards other people when they don't feel like they are treated like they are special. 4: Felings of entitlement and superiority over other people Now to the fun part. * listen closely if you're a person who has low self esteem and tries to become something in someone's eyes to be accepted ( play a role, have emeshment trauma) The narcissist will always say that it is YOUR fault and you will belive them because you fundamentally believe that you always is the problem. That's why you're so scared of making mistakes and asserting yourself. It is therefor extra important to become aware of this, because otherwise you will always belive that it is your fault... when it is not. There is nothing wrong with you or your experience. Hypersensitive narcissists exsists too. Develop self trust and learn to assert yourself - cause your feelings, opinions and thoughts are valid. There is not something wrong with you. Feel free to add more thoughts and comments about this, cause this is something that really needs to be discussed! Love Here is some recorses about this topic for those who are interested! https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/communication-success/201905/three-signs-highly-sensitive-narcissist

Of corse narccism is ego but it's not = ego. Narccism is just a component and a strategy for the ego. One can use a different coping strategy and have have as much ego ( be on the same frequency as someone who is a highly sensitive narccist. An example of the opposite strategy is extreme people pleasing and taking blame for everyone and everything. That's also why people with enmeshment trauma often end up with people with highly sensitive narccism. Opposites of the same frequency attract.

@Strangeloop If I were you I would go talk to a therapist about it. It sounds to me like you have a lot of shame and fear around being gay which is a good indication that it is something you're trying to deny, suppress and reject within yourself. Working and investigating this is the key. The reason why you're trying to deny and reject it spells out the soultion. What that is I don't know, that's where a therapist might come in handy. You obviously belive there is something deficient within you, because you're super self conscious of your behavior. My guess is therefor that this somehow is connected to your low self esteem because you belive you shouldn't be a certain way in order to be accepted/ enough. Than again, I don't know - I am just speculating. You have to draw your own conclusions and investigate the matter for yourself.

Sooo what would you say?@JosephKnecht

I don't know the answer but I would really like to know his answer. @Leo Gura

@Strangeloop How much anxiety, fear and shame would you feel in a situation where you found yourself wanting to do this? Rate on a scale from 1-10

What's the worst part about being gay?

Investigate the term Emeshment trauma

@Keyhole Forgot to tag you

You're a true inspiration. I am so so impressed by your self awarness. Wow, where have you gotten this awarness from? I interpret it as that you some time ago discovered the narccism within yourself and than integrated/ resolved it. To be able to do that and go past that is so amzingly fucking rare and hard. Another amazing thing is that you say that you didnt saw it as you, just a conditioning. How did you do it? Whree did you get this level of awarness? Any tips? What have your methods been? What made it click? When was the enough is enough moment? How long did it take? Love.

This is huge I think. I as a person who have emeshment trauma heavily judge myself and that is than reflected outwards to other people. This gets even more clear when I judge narcissists because I not only judge the narccism, I judge the narccism/ assertivness within myself because that is the shadow that I deny within myself in order to get love from other people. Fuck that's it - I deny my identity for it. Maybe this was what you meant before? @Keyhole

Awsome insights. What would you as someone who have worked with narccism in sessions argue is the core reason why people develop hypersensitive narccissm?@Nahm