SamC

@Seed Welcome to reality it's normal, don´t worry about it. If you haven´t watched Leo´s vid on the dark side of meditation + the ego backlash vid. I highly recommend it. blessings and love

Yesterday at midnight something spooky happend. I was searching around for signs for awakening and than when I read one of the signs which was " you realize no descriptions of yourself is enough to contain you' I realized that I was litterly dead and didn't exsist, that I was just a story. After this both my ears started ringing and I felt really peaceful + " tingley lucid" and I just was in this presence for 20 + minuts and it was totally effortless. ( The right ear started to ring 30 min before this happened and I recognized the sound. This usually happens when I've been doing a lot meditation but now it was joined by another sound if my left ear that ringed together. This was the first time hearing any of the ringing sounds in months) After this, I got really scared and paranoid and thought someone was braking into my house. It felt like someone always was watching me, maybe becuase there was. I was scared to die or get hurt. After this I a tried to focus on my breath for a while and than I became calm again and could sleep... And now in the morning the ringing is gone and everything is pretty much the same again. What. The. Fuck. Just. Happend?? Any theories or ideas? Anyone who have had similar experiences? First I thought it was enlightenment or ego death but it didn't feel that intense. It was intense and beautiful but not to the level of me soaking my bed with tears of joy. Could this still be a mystical experience? Would love your insights (:

Awsome, I get it. Thank you? love the humor If I wanna feel good, than I should care about my health and diet because that will make me feel even better than I do.

@tatsumaru How do you know? Have you even tried? Listen bro, take it or leave it. This was my solution for your exact problem. I denied myself everything and was hyper disciplined for my whole life and beated myself up as soon as I gave in on a craving. " I wasn't allowed to watch youtube" "I should mediate 1 hour every single day" " I should never waste time and if I do, fuck myself for wasting time" For me- this was not an enjoyable life, eventhough I thought it was the only way forward... because of fear. I wanted to do all of this stuff because of fear, not because of love which than lead me to a more holistic approach which meant following the way that was the most self loving aka doing what would make me feel good... and guess what. I still mediate I still work out. I put in more hours towards my goals And I am driven by more love and less fear, and it was one of the best decisions Ive made... eventhough I was completely terrified to make that call Here are some videos that helped me. The first one was the one that got me to out of this paradigm. Again take it or leave it... but atleast fucking investigate if there could be some truth to what I am saying before dismissing it.

@tatsumaru From what I've understood from what you have written,.You see it as this^^^ ( being able to improvise and adapt to life's " uncertainty VS this^^^ ( being disciplined, dedicated and moving forward towards your goals and what's " most important to you" and not be the opposite of that which you call as a mess) Do you notice that this basically is a war between two parts of yourself? Do you notice that this basicially is a lose win situation where you never will be fully satisfied because the other part will always be repressed by choosing the either or the other? Now to the solution. I understand that you feel like you will spiral out of control and that you perceive it as bad. It's very normal to feel like that and totally valid. The question you should contemplate however is why that is bad? What is the worst that could happen? Does bad even exist? Try Contemplateing that and see where the answers to those questions will take you. Furthermore, you need to stop playing this zero sum game where some part of you will always lose and instead let both parts integrate and be expressed fully and so that both parts are on the ride. Look at the two parts or "polarities" of the divine masculine and feminine. Ideally we don't want any part to be repressed by another part becuase what happens than? It becomes a shadow. See toxic masculinity/ femininity for example. The goal of the universe is for all parts/ energies to fully express themselves and unite towards a common goal. Do you think the parts within yourself are an exception to that rule? No it's 'litterly the same becuase the outer and inner world is the same thing. In other words follow love and your intuition. What do you want to do right now? Whatever the answer to that question is, do that. Don't force yourself, love yourself.. all parts of yourself and let them to do what they want to do. Hope that helps Love

Made my day?

This is the insane benefits that I like to see. Thanks for the share

@The0Self mmmm, mac N cheese

My body often times say it wants Icecream, and you know what - I usually listen I´m trying to get to this point in my life where my body chooses more healthy food, but for right now - it still wants those cheese doodles.

I´ll have to look out for that. I am 20 now, 25 is not that far into the future. It´s so hard to know what to listen to though.. Leo very often telling us that vegan, raw food diet is the best diet out there while some is saying Mediterranean diet is the best. Maybe the one doesn´t have to exclude the other one? what do you say?@Michael569 Btw, big thanks for your time, one can sense that you´re really passionate about this topic. Do you mind sharing how that passion emerged, I would be curious to know what makes you tick and why this is your " life purpose" ( why you have chosen to work with this, Thanks a ton man! Any specific book, course, channel or video that come to mind that you would recommend?

Contemplate this. Why do you want to stop wanting a relationship? Is wanting a relationship bad? Is anxiety bad? Is wanting to get loved bad? Is hating that you hate yourself bad? Accept that you don't accept yourself and that you hate that you don't accept yourself. Notice how your idea that you should accept yourself, hinders you in accepting yourself. Accepting means acknowledging everything that you feel. If you feel shit and hate that you feel shit... Accept that. If you fail to accept that, accept that you failed and that you hate that you failed to accept yourself. In that counterintuitively, you actually start accepting yourself.

Because people become aware of stuff they haven't thought about. What do you think yourselves?

Because of fomo, social anxiety and separation anxiety.. All of the 3 useally go together

@RendHeaven is our local expert and supporter when it comes to this subject. I suggest you read his how to deal with brake up journal (:

intellectual arrogance maybe but I believe that is more of a green or orange shadow.

It´s impossible to descibe. Noticing the difference is an intuitive process that needs to be felt and experienced. it can't be quantified or pin-pointed by the logical mind.

@Rilles So what are we doing here than? You yourself know experimentally that the masculine and feminine energy exists by direct experiece. Of course we all have different amount of this energi but what does that really prove other than that the masculine and feminine energy exsist?

@Rilles Turn your scepticism towards your scepticism. Right now you're trying to prove it doesn't exsist. Entertain the idea and see if you can notice a difference in energy between men and woman. Stop theorizing and trying to quantify it, investigate if you can feel some differences in the quality of the energy.

@Vido Been there done that bro. You might wanna look into the term enmeshment trauma. I think it might help you gain some clarity about your self worth issues.

Stop being with her and move on. The end.

@Richard Purdy This is not a twinflam relationship - this is a karmic relationship. I went through something similar last summer with a girl who was a covert narcissist aswell. I can't or understand your pain bro, but I've been somewhere similar.. and I know it is probably one of the most painful things to go through. Keep your head up man, this two shall pass. https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/karmic-relationship

Well said fish. I Second this.

@Preety_IndiaPractice practice practice and read lots of books where this writing style is present. Also, there surely must exsist books and courses that are designed for this endeavor. Google and YouTube around, and see what you can find Also, do you mind sharing what the name of this brain disorder is? I am curious

Put your soul into your work

Are you also addressing the shallowness of guys who get rejected by girls because they are needy and not confident enough? That's the exact same thing, but the opposite side of it. Men are ruthless with looks and woman are ruthless with personality. Both men and woman are shallow af and will forever be. @Etherial Cat